“You so do!” Cooper whispers in my ear, placing his hand on my lower back. His touch ignites a fireworks display inside me, and my body twitches with a powerful craving. I almost trip over my feet in my haste to get away from him. My body tingles in the spot where his hand pressed against me, which is ridiculous because he wasn’t even touching my skin.
The connection is going crazy, jerking around like it’s high, and the look in Cooper’s eyes transforms from mischief to something darker. I suck in a breath as we stare at one another, and I’m transfixed. I can’t risk moving in case it’s in his direction. His fingers twitch at his side, and he holds his body unbelievably still. You could slice through the tension with a knife.
Hunter cusses, but it still doesn’t break the tense face-off. “What the hell is going on here, Tori?”
“I wish I knew” I find myself saying in a daze.
“You know I have to tell Jensen.”
That snaps me out of it. “There’s nothing to tell!” I protest, finally yanking my gaze off Cooper.
Hunter shakes his head as he straps his backpack on. His suspicious gaze skates between us. “That’s not the way I see it,” he says before striding out of the room.
Chapter 15
“Hunter, wait!” I screech, zipping up my bag and turning to go after him.
“Tori.” Cooper wraps his hand around my wrist, and it’s like a bolt of electricity shot straight through my veins. Heavenly tremors zip up and down my arm, stopping me in my place. A heady warmth encases me from head to toe, and a deep-rooted sense of contentment settles in my bones. Before I’ve even realized what I’m doing, I thread my fingers in his. He moves a step closer until there’s only a sliver of a gap between us. Lowering his head, he stares at me with smoldering eyes. My breath rushes out in exaggerated spurts as I rake my gaze over his broad shoulders and defined biceps. His black V-neck long-sleeved shirt is stretched tight across his torso, highlighting every chiseled muscle. The edge of his tattoo peeks out from under the sleeve of his shirt, and I hone in on the tiny pentagon with the crisscross star feature. Blood rushes to my head as visions of my dream resurface.
Tears sting the back of my eyes as I peer into his big blue ones. “Who are you?” I ask, when what I really want to ask is who am I.
“I’m not sure you’re ready to hear that yet,” he answers softly. He lifts his other hand, moving toward my face, but he stops at the last second, obviously thinking better of it. He gulps, and his expression is tender as he pierces me with a solemn look. “But I can assure you you’ve nothing to fear from me or my brothers, and we’re going to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Something’s already happened,” I blurt before I can stop myself. I’m not sure if he’s aware, but his thumb is rubbing soothing circles across the underside of my wrist, clouding my brain and fogging my judgment. I should be pursuing Hunter before he catches up to Jensen and fills his head with a load of crap, but I can’t force my body to move.
“I know, beautiful,” he says, “and I’m sorry we weren’t here for you then, but we’re here now.”
I don’t understand this. At all. As I open my mouth to cross-examine him, he lifts his hand again. This time, he cups my cheek, and we both gasp at the contact. My skin practically purrs in satisfaction, and I lean into his touch despite the blaring alarms screaming in my head. He closes his eyes, and a gratified murmur escapes his lips. I squeeze his fingers tighter, both confused and elated by my visceral reaction. This is wrong, but it also feels so right. I should wrench my hand from his, remove myself from his breathing space, and run to the safety of my boyfriend, but I don’t budge. I’m incapable of it.
He opens his eyes again, and the ocean-blue color is now a darker shade of blue. “You feel it, too, don’t you?” he whispers, his eyes still pinning me in place.
I can only nod.
“I don’t think I can stay away from you,” he adds, his gaze darting to my mouth.
Everything south of my waist vibrates in agreement. I don’t understand this primitive attraction to him and his brothers. It makes zero sense, but I couldn’t walk away from him even if I wanted to. And I don’t. There is nowhere else I would rather be right now than here with him.
The thought shocks me.
Just not enough.
Indecision flickers in his eyes momentarily. “I don’t want to stay away from you. Dane’s wrong.”
“About what?” I hear myself saying, my voice sounding distant.
“About you.” He moves his hand off my cheek, running his fingers along my lips as he lowers his head. “About us.”
My heart is in conflux, and my head is screaming at me to move, but my soul is reaching toward him, and I tilt my face up as he moves his mouth closer to mine.
“Coop!” a stern voice yells. “What the actual fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I’m pulled back against a warm solid chest, and that same comfortable feeling washes over me. Then strong arms are placing me in a seat, and gradually the fog starts clearing. Dane and Cooper are in a tense stand-off, stances on guard as they both glare at one another. But they’re not talking, which is odd. It’s as if they’re having some form of silent argument.
Movement at the edge of the door catches my eye, and I twist around slowly, already having a sixth sense about this, although I’m praying I’m wrong. Jensen is standing just outside the door, with Hunter at his back, and the devastated expression on his face destroys me. I know this boy inside and out, and I can read every emotion etched across his face, which is why I know he saw my almost-kiss with Cooper. Shame and self-loathing slap me in the face. Tears spill out of my eyes and down my face as we look at one another. My heart feels like it’s splitting in two. There isn’t anything I can say that will make this better. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t actually kiss him, because the intent was there. And Jensen knows it.
I couldn’t hate myself any more in this moment.
His chest visibly lifts and falls, and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He stares at me with a forlorn expression, looking utterly devastated, and I hate that I’m the one responsible for it. I don’t know how to explain this to him, but I have to try, because Jensen is the love of my life, and he deserves an explanation.
Drying my eyes, I get up and walk toward him.
“Tori.” Cooper calls out after me, but I dismiss him with a backward wave of my hand. He’s done enough damage for one day.
My palms are clammy as I walk toward my boyfriend. Hunter purses his lips before squeezing Jensen’s shoulder and walking away. Butterflies land on my chest, causing anxiety to mushroom to life inside me. I stop in front of Jensen, my eyes piercing his beautiful blue-gray ones with sincerity. “I’m so sorry, Jensen. I don’t know why that happened. I don’t understand what’s happening to me.”
As he shakes his head in disbelief, his features contort. “Don’t pull that bullshit, Tori. I saw everything. You had plenty of time to walk away, but you didn’t.”
“It’s not her fault,” Cooper says, coming up behind me. “She’s only doing what’s instinctive.”
“Coop.” Dane’s voice holds considerable warning.
“Go fuck yourself, asshole.” Jensen reaches out, pulling me behind him. Then he squares up to Cooper, and a part of me is proud of my boyfriend for not being intimidated by the taller, bulkier guy currently smirking at him. I want to slap the cocky look off Cooper’s face and punch myself in my lady parts all at the same time.
“I’ll say this once and only once,” Jensen snarls. “Tori is mine. She always has been, and she always will be. I don’t know what the fuck you did to her, but what happened in there is not who she is, and I’m not going to let you and your brothers come between us. Lose the agenda, because she’ll never be yours.”
“Believe what you want, dude, but you’re the one who’ll end up looking like an ass. Tori can’t help being attracted to me like I can’t help being attracted to her. It’s in our blood. It�
�s—"
“Say one more word, Coop, and I’ll put you through that damn wall,” Dane says through gritted teeth, grabbing his brother’s arm and dragging him out into the corridor.
Jensen slings his arm around my neck, pulling me possessively into his side. “You should take your brother’s advice, because if he doesn’t, I will.”
Cooper looks like he wants to retaliate, but one furious look from Dane has him clamping his lips shut.
“Stay the hell away from Tori. I mean it.” Jensen glowers at Cooper and Dane.
“I know it sucks, man, but it’s nothing personal. Truth,” Cooper says, losing the smug grin and looking sincere for a change. Jensen’s nostrils flare, and he tightens the arm around my shoulders. Cooper turns his laser-sharp focus on me, and he’s obviously got a death wish. “See you later, beautiful.” He blows me a soft kiss before Dane hauls him out of there.
Jensen is two seconds away from losing his shit. His fists are knotted at his sides, and I can tell he’s contemplating going after him and throwing a few punches.
“It won’t happen again. I promise.”
He whips his head around to me. “I know it won’t, because you’re going nowhere near them. You’re not to look at them, speak to them, or give them a minute’s thought. You hear me?”
I’ve never seen Jensen this wound up. His expression alters between pissed and hurt, and I hate that I’ve done this to him, but he can’t dictate who I can and can’t speak to. He never has in the past, and he’s not going to now.
“Jensen. I love you. Only you.” Tentatively, I cup his face. “I don’t know why that happened when the only one I want is you. I know I’ve hurt you, and I despise myself for that, but I’ll make it up to you. I swear. I’ll show you how much I love you, and I’ll work hard to earn back your trust, but you can’t tell me who I can and can’t speak to. You don’t own me. I’m my own person.”
“You can’t be trusted around them!” he screams, and I drop my hands, backing away. Jensen has never raised his voice at me.
Then again, I’ve never given him cause to before.
He claws his hands through his hair and starts pacing the floor. “I know you know that. If you love me, truly love me, you’ll do this for me.” He pins distraught eyes on me. “Because this is killing me, Tori. How can everything be perfect a week ago and now things are heading south?” He rushes to my side, grasping both sides of my face. “We belong together, you and I. We’ve grown up loving one another, and we’ve made plans for our future. You can’t walk away now. It’d kill me, Tori. I wouldn’t survive it.”
“Jensen.” My voice is soft. Talk of breaking up is blowing things way out of proportion, and he needs to realize that. “Let’s not overreact.”
And that was totally the wrong thing to say.
A fuse snaps inside him, and he jerks away from me. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he yells. “How the fuck would you feel if you saw me holding hands with some other chick, seconds away from devouring her mouth? Would that not feel like the world is fucking ending to you? Because it sure as shit feels like that to me.”
I move to touch him, and he steps back. “Don’t. Don’t touch me.” He shakes his head. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. How can so much change in such a short space of time? What is it with you and them?” He averts his eyes, but I see the hurt lingering there. “This is all their fault.” His jaw tautens. “His fault. He is not stealing you from me.”
I want to challenge him on his possessive bullshit, but I’ve put him through enough today. This isn’t my boyfriend speaking—it’s hurt, and it’s all my fault, so I bite my tongue and follow him out of the building.
The drive back to the farm is fraught with tension, and I’ve never been more grateful to see the back of Jensen’s truck as it ambles up the pathway in the direction of his house. I tried talking to him several times. Tried apologizing in a host of different ways, but he won’t back down. Not until I agree never to speak to them again.
And it’s not that I object per se—I will stay away from them—it’s more the principle of the thing. No man is going to dictate how I live my life. Even if he is my forever guy.
Chapter 16
I need to give Jensen time to calm down, so I don’t drop over to his place after I’ve finished my homework and had dinner, even though I’m tempted to throw myself at his feet and beg for forgiveness. I’m terrified he’s going to kick me to the curb, and the thought upsets me enormously. I hate that I’m responsible for fucking everything up. I go for a quick run and then get showered and changed and head to Kylie’s house.
I fill her in on the latest events, and she listens attentively.
“Damn, girl. Shit’s getting real.”
“Tell me about it.” I sigh, tucking my feet underneath me on the couch. The TV is on low in the background. “You’ve no idea how much I hate myself right now. I feel sick just thinking about it. Jensen has every right to be furious with me, and I’m not going to have anything more to do with the Roth brothers, but I can’t tell him that.”
“Why not? If it’ll smooth things over between you, just do it.” She picks at a loose thread on the end of her shirt.
“I don’t want Jensen to think it’s okay to demand that of me and that I willingly accept it, because then we’ve crossed a line, one we can’t come back from. I understand why his trust in me is shaken, but he can’t control my life like that.”
“So, lie then. Tell him you’ll do it, but you know you’re doing it for your own reasons and not because he demanded it of you.”
I sit up on my knees. “You’re not getting it. That’s the whole point. I should be able to say I’m doing it because I acknowledge it’s the right thing to do, but not because he’s making me do it. And I won’t lie to him. I’ve told him a lifetime of lies this week already.” And that’s not sitting well with me. Jensen and I have never kept stuff from one another before, and I hate that I’m keeping him in the dark. Even if it is to protect him.
“I think you’re splitting hairs and making this into a bigger deal than it is. And it’s not like you haven’t got bigger problems.” She gives me a pointed look.
I rub a tense spot between my brow. “Ugh! I hate all this, but you’re right. And I wanted to ask your advice on something.”
“Shoot.”
“This is going to sound like I’m totally contradicting myself, but before that shit went down in the classroom with Cooper, I was thinking of putting all of them on the spot and asking them what the hell is going on, because I know they know something.”
She taps a finger off her chin. “I think your idea has merit, but you can’t approach them now. Not if you want to hold on to Jensen.”
“I need answers, Kylie, and they might hold some of them. Cooper said something odd to me today, and the others have said some cryptic stuff too, and, well, this is going to make me sound cuckoo, but I had a very vivid dream last night which I think is connected.”
She leans forward on her elbows, her eyes twinkling. “In what way? What was the dream about?”
So, I tell her about the babies and the freaky ceremony and the eerie lights. About that coincidental tattoo on Cooper’s wrist. She listens attentively, not interrupting me once. “Holy shit.”
“I know.”
She looks contemplative. “What exactly are you thinking?”
I wet my dry lips, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one else is around. I lower my voice. “I’m thinking that maybe one of those babies was me and the other four are the Roth brothers, and those luminous strings are some kind of bond, and it’s why I feel drawn to them.”
Saying it out loud does nothing to diminish how crazy sounding my theory is, but I’m glad I unburdened myself of it. Even if all it achieves is confirmation I’m one step closer to being committed.
She is quiet while she thinks, and then her eyes pop wide. “Do you think they’re your brothers?” I so hadn’t thought of that, but now my min
d is churning with possible explanations. “Because you’re all adopted. It would make the most sense.”
My face contorts. “God, you could be right,” I say, replaying Dane, Beckett, and Cooper’s words in my head, and it stacks up.
But, then, ew.
“No.” I shake my head. “That can’t be it. Cooper was seconds away from kissing me.”
“But Dane stopped him, and he was furious, right?”
I throw a cushion at her head. “Stop that line of thought right now, because that is gross with a capital G. Do. Not. Go. There.”
“I see why you need to talk to them. You’re definitely caught between a rock and a hard place.” Tell me something I don’t know. “What if I talked to them on your behalf?”
“What?” My brow puckers.
She shrugs, casually. “I don’t mind helping out a friend.” She fails to hide her smile. “And they won’t interact with anyone else in school, so having a reason to go to their place gives me time to get to know them. They’ve got to start dating sometime, and I wouldn’t mind it being me. I’ve had my eye on Dane all week, and I’m toying with the idea of inviting him to Winter Formal. He’s just my type—he gives off that brooding A-hole vibe I love.” She giggles. “Doing you this favor would hardly be a chore, and maybe if I was dating Dane, Jensen would chill out.”
She oozes excitement, and I know she’s genuinely trying to help me as much as she wants an opportunity to get closer to Dane, but a wave of jealousy consumes me, to the point where I’m struggling to breathe, and, for a moment, I want to gouge her eyes out with toothpicks for even suggesting it. “No. I can’t pull you any deeper into my shit.”
“I’m in this for the long haul, Tori, and I can handle myself.”
“I know that, but no. Just no.”
She narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Is that the truth, or you just don’t want me anywhere near them? You want to keep them all for yourself?” She slants a knowing look at me.
I hang my head in shame. “I’m sorry. You’re right, and I hear how awful that sounds. I’ve no grounds for getting all territorial. Ugh!” I bury my head in my hands.
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