by Harloe Rae
I reach down to palm my cock and white-hot agony lashes up my arm. Shit, that’s one way to receive a reminder. I glare at the offending wound. Any sign of injury is concealed by several layers of gauze. But I’m well aware of the damage thanks to the sizzling embers still crackling off my skin. I’d usually forego heavy-hitting medications, but this pain is quickly escalating into unbearable territory.
My forearm is blazing. My dick begs for relief. Everything fucking hurts. Except for the delicate weight plastered to my right side.
Sutton.
Her slim body clings to mine, as if she’s keeping me glued in one piece. A humorless laugh bounces off my chest. I don’t fucking cuddle. Being touched has never been my favorite. There are countless other reasons. None of them matter. Sutton’s hands on me are the purest form of pleasure. This woman can snuggle against me all she wants. I’ll never utter a complaint. Closing my eyes and soaking in the warmth is tempting as fuck.
My body is demanding too many damn things at once.
A glass of water and something for the torture to my limb are a great place to start. I attempt to inch out from under Sutton’s embrace. She whines and nuzzles into the groove of my throat. I’m not going anywhere without her knowing. Not that it was really a choice with the pathetic state I’m in.
I feel the moment Sutton rouses. She stiffens against me, as if immediately realizing our position is more of a predicament. My cock twitches, giddy that she’s alert and ready to play. I almost snort.
Nice try, buddy.
There’s no disguising my physical response to having her beside me. If she hasn’t noticed yet, it’ll only be a matter of moments. Sutton will assume all I want is sex. She’ll scramble away before I can utter a proper greeting. Not that I’d blame her. I’m rotten. She’s pristine. Decent intentions aside, this won’t end well between us. We can never last long term. But I’m not going to puss out and try erasing my confessions.
Before I can gather some semblance of an explanation, Sutton lifts her head to face me. Her baby blues are already shining with hurt. Dammit.
I tuck some hair behind her ear. “Morning, beautiful.”
She relaxes with my words. The flicker of sorrow disappears faster than she can blink, returning her gaze to a vibrant shade. “Hey, Gray.”
Sutton’s shirt is wrinkled. Creases crisscross up her cheek. Her glossy hair is knotted at the ends. She’s never looked more stunning, or appetizing if I allow myself to be honest.
Contrary to what most would believe, I didn’t invite her to stay so we could fuck from dawn until dusk. Of course I want to be buried balls deep between her silky thighs. Any man with a pulse would bust a nut at the opportunity. But Sutton means far more to me than that. I’ll eventually admit that to her. Maybe. For now, I need to dig us out of the tense silence.
I scratch my temple. “How’d you sleep?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip. “Really well. How about you?”
“Hard as stone.” I smirk at the double meaning.
Sutton follows my line of sight straight down, to the bulge beneath the covers and into the gutter. Her eyes snap up to mine. I chuckle as splotches of red stain her smooth skin. She shoves my shoulder.
“Not cool, Gray. You’re pervy in the morning.”
I wince as jarring needles stab into my arm.
She slaps a palm over her mouth. Her eyes flare wide open. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine.” I grunt, attempting to shrug it off. The pop in my jaw catches her attention.
“Don’t pretend on my account. I saw the gore and horror.”
“You’re shredding my man-card, Sutt. I’m not made of fucking glass. Give me some credit.”
“Tough guy needs his ego stroked?” She winks at me.
I release a choppy breath. Try as I might, dredging up images of puppies and manual labor is falling flat. My cock is bound to punch a hole in the sheet at this rate. “I wouldn’t say no.”
Sutton skips her nails along my abs. She peeks up at me through lowered lashes. With a purposely slow lick, she wets her plump lips. “I’m so hot for you, Gray. I bet you’re epic in the sack. Rattle the headboard until I’m screaming your name.”
The air freezes in my lungs. Shit, is she serious?
She topples over in a fit of giggles. “Your face,” she wheezes. “Oh my gosh, that’s priceless.”
If my arm wasn’t torn to shreds, I’d swat that juicy ass and tickle the shit out of her. But retaliating isn’t possible. Revenge will have to wait. I just lay still and let her joy wrap around me. The sound of her laughter is music to my neglected ears. She’s playing a Grammy-worthy concert just for me. Maybe she’ll continue blowing my mind by stripping naked and riding me to the highest peaks of ecstasy.
Sutton’s twinkling tune dies off. The humor in her features fade, questions beginning to form behind those bright eyes. There must be something in my expression that tells her exactly what I’m picturing. Her breathing turns shallow. The rise and fall of her chest is a rapid beat.
“Gray,” she murmurs.
I’m hypnotized by her mouth caressing my name. “Yeah?”
“What are you thinking about?”
I wrench my gaze off her. “Nothing.”
She blinks at me, the shimmering enthusiasm clears from her blue depths. “Sure about that?”
“Have to be,” I mutter.
A crease dents the center of her forehead. “Do you remember what we talked about last night?”
I lick my dry lips and nod. Begging her to stay is the first thing I’ve done right in four lonely years.
Sutton stares at me, unflinching and brave. “Please don’t tell me that was the pills talking.”
“That was all me, Sutt.” But speaking of the scripts, my arm is still on fire. It feels like my skin is being ripped off as I continue lounging here. “Where did you stash those painkillers? I need to take something. And drink some water. Then we’ll talk.”
She quirks a brow. “Want me to grab your morning dose?”
“I can do it.” A hiss rattles out of me while I try sitting up.
Her hand lands on my chest, pushing me down. “Allow me. I’m here to ease your aches and suffering.”
As if I wasn’t already hard enough. I’d pop a semi from that vision alone, fantasy or not. I settle deeper into the mattress. This reminds me of the old us, before shit got complicated and I destroyed everything. Inky darkness slithers in my veins. I always assume the worst, for good reason. But I know Sutton better than anyone. Or I used to. She’s always been able to see through my bullshit.
Sutton reappears with an extra large cup filled to the brim and a prescription bottle. I gingerly lift my upper body into a position that doesn’t cause stabbing misery. She tries handing me two pills. I open my mouth and wait.
She huffs. “Really?”
I raise my brows in answer. She drops the white tablets onto my tongue and holds out the water for me. My palms remain flat on the mattress. I lean forward until Sutton gets the message. The cool glass presses to my lips and she tips it up. I keep my eyes locked on her while swallowing the cool liquid. My throat screams in relief and I guzzle more. Our gazes never waver, the air crackling with restraint. When the cup is empty, she pulls it away.
“Want a refill?”
I flop onto the bed, feeling completely rejuvenated. “In a bit.”
She returns to her spot beside me, sitting up with crossed legs.
“This is new.” I trace the colorful flower on her ankle.
She tracks my movements. “I had it done in Cancun on spring break. My friend has a matching one.”
“Who’s this friend?” I try to tamp down my jealousy.
“Harlyn. We lived together in college.”
I recall hearing her name. The green-eyed monster skitters away. “Ah, the dark days I know nothing about.”
Sutton leans back, giving me an exquisite view of her tits. “I’m happy to fill you in.”
There’s only one question that’s been plaguing me. I keep my eyes on her tattoo. “Did you go out a lot?”
“To the bar?”
“On dates,” I supply with a grumble.
She tips her head back and laughs. “That’s hilarious. You’ve met my brother, right? Somehow he managed to scare off all guys before I could even try.”
A smirk brimming with satisfaction tilts my lips. I’ll have to thank him for that. “Good. That’s the way it should be.”
“Yeah? And why is that?”
“You don’t belong with any of them.”
Sutton squints at me. “Dare I ask who does?”
No one, certainly not me. I can’t force myself to spit those words. I’m such a pansy-ass when it comes to her. But she’s the only one. I want to tell her as much. The catastrophe that would follow has me biting my tongue. “Didn’t we cover this yesterday?”
“It could use repeating.”
I can’t find any regret, even digging to my very core. She should know how much I want her. I’ve been keeping my distance for her sake. All I’ve succeeded in doing is adding more torture. “I want to be the one who deserves you.”
She nudges me with her toe. “I sense a but in there.”
“Come on, Sutt. I’m all sorts of wrong for you.” I curl the sheet into my tight fist. “You should be with someone like Lance.” The words are gasoline to the flame already burning me up. Just thinking about it makes me want to punch his smug face.
“You don’t mean that,” she whispers.
My gut sinks straight into the foundation of this shitty house. “You’re right, I don’t. But that doesn’t make you any less forbidden.”
Sutton snorts. “Says who?”
“Me.”
“Well, I disagree.”
“That’s why we’ve never discussed this before now.”
Her lips flatten into a thin line. “And you’re not budging?”
I scrub a hand down my face. “Even if I’m delusional enough to believe this could work, your brother will kill me. I’d like to keep my dick attached and out of harm’s way.”
“He has nothing to do with us.”
“Easy for you to say. That guy has saved my ass more times than I can count. This would be the ultimate betrayal. You need to be sure, Sutt. Once you agree to be mine, there’s no letting go. Not for me.”
“That won’t be an issue. I’m all in.” She reaches for my hand.
I lace our fingers together. “Yeah?”
“Yes, Gray. In my mind, you’ve always been mine.” Sutton leans into me. Her hungry gaze settles on my mouth. She parts her lips on a breathy exhale.
Kissing her would seal the deal. A simple exchange with permanent repercussions. “I won’t push more boundaries until we talk to your brother.”
Sutton jolts upright. “Excuse me?”
I shake off the arousal clouding my vision. “Is that a problem?”
She combs through her snarled hair. “Why do we need to tell him?”
“Wait, you want to keep this a secret?” I grind my molars.
She whips her head back and forth. “Not at all. But Jace doesn’t have a say in this. The choice is ours to make.”
“This is important to me, Sutt.”
She shifts further away from me, scooting to the edge of the bed. Not having her wedged along my side is similar to losing a vital piece of me. But I let her go. I’ll never force her to be trapped with me. “I’ve waited around long enough for you, Grady Bowen. I deserve to be with a man who will choose me over everything else, no matter what.”
I cringe when Sutton uses my full name. That’s a sure sign I’m in the doghouse. She’s absolutely right, which is sad news for me. “I need to be sure nothing will get between us.”
“That will only happen if we let it.”
“Well, I’m already fucking up.” No point in denying the obvious.
She purses her lips. “We’re at an impasse. I’m going to leave. Try to rest while getting your priorities straight. I’ll send precious Jace over to check on you in a bit.”
Before I can attempt a response, Sutton slinks out of the room. The damage has been dished out. I better grab a spoon and enjoy.
Happy something #93: Finding people to genuinely trust and rely on.
The antique rocking chair creaks with my forward motion. I’m out on my back porch, feet kicked up on the rickety railing, swinging to a gentle rhythm. My ballcap is slung low to shield the sun. There’s a cold beer in my hand. I have no place to go. It’s quiet and calm. Only the occasional chirping from a nest of birds greets me. The sticky-sweet scent of pine wafts over from the thatch of evergreens. I could get used to this laying low gig. My day off isn’t turning out to be such a bad thing.
Other than Sutton storming out earlier. I’m hoping to rectify that situation soon enough. This afternoon has given me plenty of hours to reflect and strategize. The cogs in my brain are getting a tad sluggish. A nap will do me some good. Sutton did mention rest as part of my plan. I’m just following orders.
No one is around to bother me. A lazy lull captures my mind, slowing normal processing down even more. I slouch deeper into my seat. Sleep is beginning to pull me under when Bear’s piercing bark breaks the silence. I crack open an eye to watch him take off toward the driveway. Whoever dares to show up here will either run off scared or figure shit out. I keep my ass planted in place.
A moment later, Jace rounds the house with Bear nipping at his heels. A dry chuckle escapes me at the sight of a grown man trying to outrun a dog. My friend has been trying to get on his good side for years. Sutton is the only one to instantly win my hound over. No surprise there.
Jace gives me the finger and a glare. “Real funny, asshole. How about you call off the killer?”
I whistle and Bear darts toward me. “He’s harmless.”
“To you.”
“He just wants to play.”
“By using my leg as a chew toy.”
“Quit your bitching,” I mutter.
He continues grumbling while plopping down in the other chair. “Not sure why your dog still hates me.”
“You’re threatening. Take it as a compliment.”
Jace rolls his eyes. “Not sure that’s a selling point.”
“Don’t overthink it. Beer?” I kick open the cooler next to me.
He reaches in and grabs one. “Thanks.”
I lift my bottle to his. The bandage pulls tight around my injury and I wince.
“How’s your arm?”
“Attached.” But the hole in my black heart is bigger than ever. Sutton would heal all the broken parts. If only I let her. I take another swig instead.
Jace laughs. “I see you’re in a talkative mood.”
I flip my hat backwards. “Were you expecting social hour?”
“Nah, learned my lesson. Just wanted to check on you.”
I gesture down my torso. “Still breathing.”
“Sure glad Sutton found you when she did. The doctor said you lost a shit ton of blood.”
The mention of his sister has my body locking up tighter than a steel trap. I’m not prepared to have that discussion yet. Spilling my guts will require a lot more booze, or courage. I don’t have an abundance of either. Talking about the accident isn’t pleasant, but it’s better than him crushing my balls in a vice.
I scratch my jaw. “Uh, yeah. Guess it was a close call.”
Jace chugs the rest of his beer and opens another. Good to know he’s sticking around. “I see walking away relatively unscathed has lifted your spirits.”
My frown deepens. “Had to be carted off in a damn ambulance.”
“Could have been a hell of a lot worse.”
“Shouldn’t have happened at all. I was being careless.” And distracted by a certain brunette beauty.
He’s quiet for a moment, studying me too close. “What’s with the mean-mugging? Beside the obvious.”
“It’s been a shit
week.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Grant me permission to be happy.
But the asking price is steep. This could create a rift we won’t be able to repair.
I squint up at the cloudless sky, imagining a blanket of stars. That vision sends me back to a different time. When a little girl with pigtails held the hand of a strange boy who randomly showed up at her house. No hesitation or fear. She’s had ahold of me since that moment.
A lump of something fierce lodges in my gut. “Will any man be good enough for Sutton?”
Jace’s head whips my way so fast I’m surprised it’s still attached. “Why the hell would you ask that?”
I resume rocking in my chair. “Genuine curiosity.”
“Is she fucking around with someone?” He’s on the edge of his seat, ready to fly off the damn handle.
“Fucking relax, yeah? It’s a simple question.”
He glares at me. “Nothing about my sister is easy.”
I grunt out a loud breath. “You’re continuing to blow this out of proportion.”
“You started it.”
“What’s with the temper tantrum? Did your period arrive early?”
“Don’t turn this shit on me when you’re the one with a sandy vagina.”
I almost laugh. “You’re such a tool.”
Jace scoffs and crosses his arms. “Takes one to know. As if you have a damn leg to stand on. You turn into a snarling beast if another man comes within a mile of Sutton.”
I shrug. “Learned from the best.”
“Pretty sure it’s the other way around.”
I scrub over my mouth. He has a decent point. There aren’t many people I care about in this world, but Sutton tops that short list. I’d lose my fucking shit if anything happened to her. Maybe that’s a valid reason in my defense of all this madness.
A choking sound has me looking his way. “Holy shit, brother. Are you smiling?”
Am I? The slight lift in my lips lingers for another moment. “Huh, guess so.”
Another strangled noise escapes him. “How strong are those pills you’re on?”
“They pack a hefty punch. But I haven’t popped one in hours.”
“Sure about that?”
“Yeah, why?”