by Harloe Rae
“It never should have been in the first place,” I argue with a raspy exhale.
“Then to the gutter we both go.” Grady kisses me, so soft and gentle. How could he ever believe that his intentions are otherwise?
“So long as we’re together,” I murmur.
“Indeed.”
His lips meet the sensitive spot behind my ear and trace the column of my throat. He’s being so sweet and attentive. I couldn’t ask for better, especially for this. His dirty mouth was a delicious treat, though. Maybe I’ll get a taste of that later.
Grady lightly snaps the strap of my bra, silently encouraging me to lift. I bow into him without hesitation. He reaches under me and flicks the clasp open with deft fingers. Satin and lace hit the floor after a quick toss. Grady wastes no time exploring my bare breasts. I gasp when he plucks a peaked nipple.
“You’re stunning,” he groans into my cleavage.
Sweat speckles my hairline, the temperature seeming to skyrocket. I’m feverish and restless and coiling with hot-blooded lust. This teasing will be the end of me. Air wheezes in and out of my lungs too fast. My tongue is sticky and useless, making speech difficult.
Somehow I manage to force a question past the pooling saliva. “What’re you gonna do with me, now that we’re in this position?”
Grady grinds his hips into mine. He’s so hard against me, exactly where I need him. “I think you can guess. But first,” his big body begins sliding downward, “I want you on my tongue.”
I dig my nails into his biceps, halting the promising descent. “No.”
He blinks emerald smoke at me. “Why not? Didn’t hear you complaining earlier. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“That was different,” I complain.
“Hmmm,” he growls into the crook of my shoulder. “Has your hunger been sated?”
A torch blazes across my face. I squirm in his hold. He doesn’t allow me to move a millimeter. That doesn’t stop me from wiggling. “I want you inside of me.”
“What happened to being patient?” He nips at my chin.
“I’ve waited long enough, Gray.” With a few calculated twists of my hips, I begin lowering my panties.
He gets the message and removes the whisper of silk from between my thighs. The flat of his palm presses to my stripped center. I can feel the wetness that welcomes him there. The very essence of me is on display and prepared for his taking. Grady’s answering groan has me automatically wrapping my legs around him.
“I’m ready for you. Take the empty away.” I clutch at his forearms for an anchor of support.
Something naughty flashes in his light gaze. I curl my toes and latch onto him with an unrelenting grip. Grady smirks and takes advantage.
“I’m gonna make you scream my name, Sutt. Louder than before.” A single digit skims a line down my seam. “I’m gonna show you everything that’s been missing. What I’ve been foolish enough to deny us.” He pinches my clit with the slightest pressure. I bow into him for more. “I’m gonna make sure you’re always mine.”
I guess that filthy side of him needed encouragement. I’m more than happy to oblige. “Show me.”
He circles my opening with the tip of his finger. I push into his touch and he withdraws. The whine that trips out of me is almost pitiful. “Please, Gray.”
The slow torture continues. “I love hearing you beg for me. It’s a huge turn on.”
“Please, please, please,” I chant.
“Positive? I’m gonna defile you, Sutt.”
My head knocks into his pec as I nod. “Why does that sound so hot?”
“You have no fucking idea.” His voice is a ragged guarantee I want to hear on repeat.
I feel him there, nudging at my untried entrance. The need to tell him tickles my lips. I peek my tongue out, set on spilling the truth. An avalanche of emotion threatens to bury me. I flinch, just barely. Grady notices. A deep groove cuts between his brows.
I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to witness the unease reflecting at me. “Will it hurt?”
He goes utterly still on top of me. When his emerald eyes clash with mine, a storm is brewing. “Please tell me that question is due to the size of my dick.”
I gulp at the thorny ball blocking my throat. “You’re very huge.” I grip the boulder of muscle in his shoulder. “Everywhere.”
“Sutt, please tell me you didn’t save yourself for me.”
I blink at the stab of pain in his tone. “Yes, I did.”
Grady places a delicate kiss on my bottom lip, granting similar affection to the top, ending with a sensual press that covers my entire mouth. “You’re too good for me. I’ll never measure up.”
This big mountain of a man. He’s still so unsure. I’ll make it my life goal to prove his worth and pump confidence into him. But first, we need to cross this final line.
“That’s for me to decide.” I cross my ankles behind his ass and urge him into me.
Grady studies me with a caution clouding his features. I gently rub my hands over the wide range of his back. Straining tension melts off his body. The murky chaos clears from his stare, replaced with raw vulnerability. He lowers his forehead to mine.
“I love you, Sutt. So damn much,” he murmurs against my lips.
Moisture blurs my vision with stinging heat. “I love you, Gray. Always.”
“I’m gonna destroy us both.” With a palm against my tailbone, he pushes into me. “But I’m too far gone to care.”
His mouth locks over mine, tongues gliding together in a mutual vow of forever. He punches through that final barrier separating us. A rush of air hisses between my clenched teeth. Grady doesn’t pause, and I’m thankful. My body stretches with a slight burn to accommodate his intrusion. I arch and shift in an attempt to alleviate the hurt. His large body trembles on top of mine. When he’s seated to the hilt inside of me, I’m irrevocably his.
“Mine. You’re finally fucking mine,” he rasps at my temple.
“Yes,” I answer into the groove of his neck.
He pauses. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t stop.” I rock into him. “I’m good, great even.” The intimate connection we’re solidifying makes up for any slice of agony.
“I take back my earlier thought.” He kisses along my cheekbone.
I furrow my brow. “What was that?”
“When your mouth was around me, I thought it couldn’t get better. I would die happy after being between your lips. But I was wrong. Because this, Sutt?” He plunges in with a smooth glide. “I would’ve missed out on heaven.”
“We’re made for each other.” I’ve always known, but this proves my theory.
“You’re perfect,” he adds.
“For you.” I lift my knees to the bottom of his ribs, allowing him to sink deeper.
Grady’s strokes are slow and careful, sliding in and out of me in measured thrusts. The prick of discomfort recedes after a few passes. I inhale spicy pine mixed with a salty kick. A serum of tingling bliss hums in my veins. I can definitely get used to this.
The room floods with our harsh breaths. He rolls his hips into mine, ratcheting me higher toward the sky. A rush of soothing heat twitches my fingertips. My skin is hypersensitive, every touch a jolt of pleasure.
I’ve pictured this too many times. My imagination didn’t do us justice. Him inside of me, hard and pulsing, could never be replicated. Every fiber of my being claws at him with a bone-deep desperation.
“Never believed I’d have anything this good.” Grady sucks on my earlobe, his panting breaths infusing me.
I twine my fingers in the hair at his nape. “It’ll always be this way.”
He nibbles at my jaw. “So damn amazing.”
The bed creaks beneath us as Grady speeds up. He fills me to the brink of ecstasy. With another grind against me, a burst of white steals my sight. A spasm erupts in my core and I clamp around him. Grady groans, his sleek rotations becoming jerky.
The chords in his neck bulge
. “Can’t hold off much longer, Sutt.”
I’m already teetering. Finishing the job won’t take much. I dip two fingers between us. My clit is overly sensitive and screaming for attention. When I hit that needy bundle, an electric charge bolts straight to my toes. A few quick swipes and I’m gone.
The explosion is swift and powerful. I’m a seizing mass of wracking limbs and flexed muscles. A blanket of the softest velvet embraces me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I can hear garbling nonsense.
At the last possible second, Grady jerks out of me. Warmth spills across my stomach and chest. I can’t help feeling marked, branded by this man. I’m almost shocked to find how much that thought gets me buzzing.
He drops onto me with a sputtering groan. The mess is our problem now. I comb through his sweaty hair, sweeping the wet strands away. My palm lingers and wanders to his cheek. He leans into my touch with a sigh.
“Hey, Gray.”
His laugh jostles us on the mattress. “I love you so much, Sutt.”
I kiss his nose. “Love you.”
Grady rolls off of me, dragging my spent body into his. I’m warm and comfortable, satisfied in a way romance novels preen about. The afterglow is no joke. Within moments, I find myself drifting in some half-conscious state.
“Want to help me with something?” He slips his fingers through mine.
I snap into awareness with a slight shake. “Anything.”
“I’ve always wondered if my shower is big enough for two.”
I press my lips to his throat. “Thought you’d never ask.”
Happy something #6: A sense of belonging. What is that, anyway? Maybe I’ll get the chance to find out.
I wrench off my helmet and grab the hat stashed under the rear cushion. After tugging it on, I swing my leg over the bike and stay put. The possibilities of what awaits beyond those walls is daunting. Avoidance is my faithful sidekick. I keep my ass glued to the leather seat as different scenarios pound into me.
There’s a rampant fever raging through me on a constant basis. It’s been a week since I stole Sutton’s cherry. The shock hasn’t worn off. A tremor rattles my hands just thinking about her beneath me, or in the dozen positions we’ve tried since. I swore to myself she was destined for better. She seems to think we’re fated. That girl hasn’t quit believing in me, no matter how hard I’ve tried to convince her otherwise. It’s about damn time I truly get on board. I’ve been spending the past month, or more like fifteen years, thanking whatever greater power is watching out for me. Being graced with the privilege of calling her mine isn’t a happy something I’ll ever take for granted.
But my boots remain glued to the concrete. Why am I being such a pansy?
This beige house with red shutters is one of the few comforts I have in this world. I’ve been invited inside on countless occasions. There’s no reason to be nervous, other than the explicit fact that our dynamic has shifted in a major way. Barry made mention of Sutton and me as a couple. Does he still feel the same? Will they truly accept me? Once I cross that threshold, questions will need answering.
The development of our relationship hangs heavy in the balance. I can almost feel the scale tipping against my favor. Blaming the delay on getting swamped at work or being a chicken shit coward is the easy way out. But I’m man enough to admit my fear of rejection. Not only from the family who raised me, but the girl who owns my heart and every happy something. I refuse to trap Sutton with me if Alice and Barry deem me unworthy.
I’ve tried convincing myself to not give a shit. It’s easy enough to do—to the point of habit—with every other aspect in my life. That’s not possible where these people are concerned. They’re the only ones I care about. Their opinion and approval means everything to me. I’ve been good enough to be Jace’s friend and a loyal farm hand around their property. That’s a far cry from dating their daughter.
Our love has to be strong enough. I’m twenty feet tall when it’s just the two of us. My girl has a way of boosting me up when others try knocking me over. She’s always been great at that. After seven days of keeping her to myself, it was time to be a respectable man and face the folks. She finally convinced me to come over for family dinner, like the old days. This is how I find myself lingering outside of her parents’ house.
The front door opens, revealing Sutton with a beaming smile aimed at me. Her dark hair glitters under the fluorescent lamp. Damn, she’s beautiful. “Thought I heard you pull up. What’re you doing out here?”
I straighten off my bike. “Just thinking.”
She shuffles forward and leans against the railing. “About?”
“Being here.” I wipe off my clammy palms and release a long breath.
Sutton’s sigh can be heard from across the yard. “Gray, give me a hug.”
My feet are moving before she’s done talking. I’ll never refuse her. Five quick strides and she’s tucked in my arms. I press my face into her hair, feasting on coconut and strawberries. “Missed you, Sutt.”
“I missed you so much.” She clutches the front of my shirt in a tight fist, bringing the fabric to her nose. “How do you always smell delicious?”
“You’re biased, but I approve.”
“Nope.” She takes another long whiff. “Any red-blooded woman with a pulse would agree.”
I kiss her forehead. “There’s only one I want to impress.”
“Mission accomplished.” Hooded baby blues peek up at me. “Tell me what has you hovering on the stoop.”
I haul her tighter against me. “Just worried things are too good.”
Sutton rests her chin on my sternum, forcing me to stare. “Do you doubt me?”
I almost flinch. “Never.”
“Do you doubt my parents?”
That takes more thought. In the end, I give her another harsh jerk of my head.
“So, what’s the issue?”
“That bad shit is ingrained soul deep, Sutt.”
She places a palm on top of my pounding heart. “Believe in us, and them. They accepted you long ago. You’re already a member of our family.”
The door behind Sutton swings wide. Jace pokes his head out, finding us twisted tighter than a pretzel. A gagging sound erupts from his throat. “Quit with the PDA. I’m gonna puke.”
Sutton huffs. “Oh, please. Like you’re one to talk.”
Jace wags a sloppy finger between us. “Very different circumstances.”
“Don’t be a dick,” I mutter.
He grunts. “Don’t make me regret my decision.”
Uncertainty returns with a roar. I grind my molars until the taste of chalk hits me. “Such a fucker.”
“Mom and dad are wondering what’s up. Stop cuddling and get your asses inside.” He doesn’t bother shutting the door after his retreat, assuming we’ll follow.
Pressure collects at the base of my neck. Jace is providing an adequate reminder of why I’ve been hesitating. His crude welcome is how I predict the rest of our evening will go. But I’m done shying away from my happiness.
Sutton tugs me toward the house. “Ready?”
I stare down at our clasped hands. “More than ever.”
The smell of peppered fried chicken offers a warm reception as we step into the foyer. My stomach growls at the aroma of a favorite meal, close second to Alice’s lasagna. There’s a rejuvenated pep in my gait while I lock eyes on the kitchen. Sutton’s bubbling laughter pops me out of the food trance.
“Glad you agreed?”
I duck to whisper in her ear. “Thanks for planning this.”
She slants her upper body into me. “I’d like to take credit, but my parents did the heavy lifting.”
A twinge pulls taut in my stomach. I shouldn’t be surprised in the least. Barry and Alice have always done their best to include me. This is further proof I shouldn’t need. They’ll never neglect me, unlike the rest of this town. A cold bucket of shame dumps over me. I’ve been an ass for ignoring their previous invitations.
Alice notices us entering the room. Her light eyes get glassy as she checks me over. She opens her arms wide, motioning me in. “I’m well aware that you’re not a hugger, but humor me? It’s a special occasion.”
Is it? Not like I’d argue with her. I shuffle forward and allow her to wrap me up. She only reaches the top of my chest, similar to Sutton. A solid ten seconds pass before Alice pulls away with a trembling smile. She wipes at her wet cheeks. “I’m very happy you’re here, Grady. We’ve missed you at our table.”
“Thank you for having me.” I tuck my chin.
She pats my jaw. “You’re always welcome in our home. I hope you never forget that.”
I appreciate that she doesn’t guilt me for separating myself. It’s been four years since I ate a meal with the Olsen’s. Not because they didn’t offer. They did, almost incessantly. But nothing was the same. I couldn’t be surrounded by them with a frozen heart. That would have thrown me over the edge.
Alice turns to the stove. “Take a seat. Dinner is almost ready.”
“Do you need help at all?”
She waves me off. “None of that. Take a load off and relax.”
“Positive?”
Alice tsks. “Yes, shoo. You can cook next round.”
I lift my palms and ease backwards. “You’ve got a deal.”
“Want a beer?” Sutton moves to the fridge.
I nod. “Sounds good.”
She pops off the cap and passes me a frosty bottle. I swallow a couple swigs, the chilled liquid soothing my parched throat. It takes effort to hold in a groan. Something about a cold brew always hits the spot. Sutton sidles up and bumps me with her hip.
“Where should we sit?”
“You decide.”
She chooses a chair against the wall, tapping the one beside her. “C’mere.”
I edge around the table and settle onto the wood seat. Sutton reaches for me, threading her fingers into mine. This is all new. But to be fair, my place in this family has changed. It’s kicking off with a fresh outlook. That’s something I need. I lost my sense of belonging for too long. I didn’t fit with them anymore. Not without Sutton’s smile across from me. Now we sit side by side, our palms clasped tight. I Iift her hand to my lips and dust each knuckle with a kiss. She’s brought me back.