This isn’t all that surprising. Part of me suspected Cole knew I was Phantom Girl, ever since he surprised me in my room his first night back here. I’ve been living in denial, hoping I’d never have to explain my actions.
I drag my stare back to my phone, typing in my response with shaky hands.
How long have you known?
A while.
Why didn’t you say anything?
Why didn’t you?
Have you just been screwing with me?
I could ask you the same thing.
Oh my god.
Is that why you’re staying here?
Deep down, I already know the answer to my question. He came here to get back at me, believing the messages were designed to hurt him in some way. I don’t blame him for thinking that, though.
Shane’s had me jumping through hoops for years. Breaking up with Cole was only the beginning. Any time I tried to refuse an invite to one of his parties or wasn’t friendly to him in public, he threatened to tell Cole everything.
From Cole’s perspective, I’m a traitor and a liar. That’s exactly how he looked at me when he saw me at Shane’s two months ago—with disappointment and disgust twisting his features.
He might even think Shane put me up to the whole thing. But in reality, I risked everything to talk to Cole. Just to get a small piece back of what I’d lost.
Things were never supposed to go on as long as they did. I didn’t realize I’d taken it too far until I was already falling over the edge. Still, I should’ve cut things off then. It was selfish of me to hold on, hoping it would work out. And stupid of me to believe I could get Cole back without Shane finding out.
The blinking dots mock me, appearing then disappearing. A heaviness presses on my chest as I look up from my phone. Cole is still watching me, but his smile has been replaced with a thoughtful frown.
My dizzy head shakes with disbelief, and he sends a response.
What did you expect?
You lied to me.
So it’s all been a game?
Yes and no.
His answer causes an ache in my chest. My fears have been confirmed. This entire time he’s been keeping score, hellbent on winning a game I didn’t even know we were playing.
Well, I don’t want to play anymore.
You win. Congratulations.
Now leave me alone.
Not until I claim my prize.
My pulse races, my glossy eyes careful to avoid him as I attempt to join back in the conversation happening around me. But I don’t really hear anything they’re saying.
Cole’s last message still occupies my thoughts. I’m not sure what type of trophy he’s hoping to take away from all of this. But I already sacrificed everything.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Present
COLE
The moonlight falls over Gwen like a damn spotlight, making her radiant skin glow. My jaw tics as she laughs and chats it up with Cory, my hard stare willing her to look my way.
She doesn’t.
She’s been ignoring me since she read my last message on Instagram. Calling her out in the middle of the party probably wasn’t the best plan. But I wanted to see her reaction. I thought it would give me some answers about why she started those messages in the first place. As much as I hate to admit it, Shane got in my head today.
“You’ll have to ask her that question. Though I wouldn’t expect her to tell you. At least not the truth.”
Simply asking her wouldn’t have worked. I needed to catch her by surprise—to see the truth on her face.
When I confirmed that my staying here was to get back at her, she looked so hurt. If she was merely screwing with me all along, she’d probably seem scared or amused. Not heartbroken.
“You have feelings for her,” Violet says, pulling my attention away from Gwen.
Saint doesn’t know most of the people here, so she’s been glued to my side all night. Arwen and Aidan keep disappearing—together. And Violet’s friend Samantha is too busy throwing herself at Cooper. Which leaves me. Not that I mind. But it hasn’t given me much opportunity to be closer to Gwen.
“Who?” I ask, playing dumb.
“Gwen.” Violet gestures toward the other side of the yard with a nod of her head. “You care about her. It’s written all over your face.”
My gaze floats back over to Gwen, my fists curling as she touches Cory’s arm. “No, Saint. I don’t care about her. That girl fucking owns me.”
“Wow,” she breathes. “How does she feel about you?”
“That’s the million-dollar question,” I reply, tearing my eyes away from Gwen. “We belonged to each other once upon a time. She used to say I was her everything.”
“So…all that stuff about the two of you not getting along?”
I shrug and stretch to relieve some of the tension in my muscles. “She broke my heart, and I thought our entire relationship had all been a lie.”
“And now?” she presses, her eyebrows raised with curiosity.
That’s a question I don’t have the answer to yet. It’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. I want to believe her, but I’m still not sure if I can trust her with my heart again.
“I’m not sure where the truth begins and the lies end,” I explain. “Her feelings seem sincere, but she’s still keeping shit from me.”
Violet sighs. “And I told you people who love us don’t keep secrets.”
“You weren’t wrong.”
“Yes, I was. What Thatcher did—” Her voice wavers, and she clears her throat. “I’m hurting. Mostly because he’s gone and I miss him so damn much. It’s easier to focus on my anger right now. We have some serious shit to work through, but my heart isn’t closed to him. Or the possibility of a future for us. Life and love aren’t black and white. They don’t always look one way or another.”
Violet’s right. Thatcher had a good reason for keeping his past from her. He’ll tell her when he’s ready. The same could be true for Gwen. If I’m going to do this with her again, that’s something I need to trust. Otherwise, Shane wins, and our relationship is doomed.
“It’s going to eat away at you. Knowing she’s hiding shit. That might be even sweeter for me than if you found out the truth.”
“Oh, wise saint, how I do adore you.”
Her smile turns into a huge yawn, her eyes watering. My arm wraps around her shoulders, and she leans into me.
I kiss the top of her head. “We need to get you home. Where did your ride wander off to?”
“Probably the same place she’s been disappearing to all night,” she snickers. “Someone should tell her I’m not blind. Every time Aidan goes missing, so does she.”
It’s a relief to hear Violet isn’t as in the dark about the whole Arwen and Aidan situation as I thought. I hated there being another secret between us. The last one devastated her, but she seems almost amused about Arwen’s pretense.
Their disappearing act has probably been obvious to everyone. They haven’t been very smart about it. I went looking for Arwen earlier and caught them locked up in a guestroom together. Even then she tried to play off their involvement. I’m not sure if the girl believes she’s fooling everyone, or if she’s simply lying to herself.
I chuckle. “Nah, let her have this. I’m guessing she won’t tell us until she’s ready to admit it’s real. The badass Arwen isn’t afraid of anything except catching feelings.”
Violet’s shoulders bounce with her laughter. “All three of you have some serious issues when it comes to relationships,” she teases.
“And this is why we’re so close, Saint. Isn’t it a beautiful thing when fucked up people find each other?”
Gwen remains unmoving as I slowly stalk toward her, chirping crickets the only thing filling the silence between us. She’s not happy with me or the fact that I told Aidan to leave. He was the last guest straggling behind, and I was tired of waiting to be alone with her.
She shoots to her feet
once I reach the patio chair she’s sitting in, not so subtly putting more space between us. Her eyes narrow as I smirk.
“You don’t have the right to tell my guests to leave,” she sasses, crossing her arms.
I regard her with a tilted head, the smile on my face growing. She’s so adorable when she’s heated. “Are you angry with me, Princess?”
She huffs, throwing her arms up with exasperation. “What do you think? You’ve been lying to me for weeks. This entire time, you’ve just been…”
She pauses as emotion clouds her features, swallowing them back down before continuing.
“All of this was some kind of sick payback for you.” Her words hold more pain than fury, causing an ache in my chest.
When she looks down at her feet, I inch closer. “How do you think it felt finding out that the girl I was falling for was the same one who broke my heart?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking,” she croaks, her hazel eyes filled with remorse as they meet mine again. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you or lie to you.”
“What were you trying to do?” I press.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs, chewing her bottom lip. “It wasn’t some carefully thought out scheme, okay? I missed you. But you were never going to talk to me, so I thought—”
“You’d be someone else?” I jab.
It feels good to hear her say she missed me, but it doesn’t excuse what she did.
Guilt creases her brow as she shakes her head. “Not someone else. I didn’t pretend to be someone I wasn’t. Or change my personality. It was all me.”
That’s true. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it’s why we clicked so easily from the beginning.
Her eyes watch me with caution as I come toe-to-toe with her. “But you refused to tell me who you were. Why?”
“I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t,” she answers, her voice shallow from the weight of the sorrow it’s holding.
“Does it have anything to do with Shane blackmailing you?”
The color drains from her face, her eyes glossing over with tears. “What? How did you…?”
“That’s not important.” I tuck her hair behind her ears, cupping her head in my hands. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore. I took care of it. He won’t bother you again.”
“Oh god,” she says, tugging my hands away from her face. “You…you talked to him? What did he say?” Her words are stuttered as she takes a step back, genuine fear painted on her pretty face.
My stomach gets queasy. The asshole really did a number on her. It’s a good thing she and I didn’t have this talk before I paid him a visit or the fucker might’ve ended up in the hospital.
“Not much,” I reply, the tension in my gut hidden by the casual tone. “He tried to deny it at first.”
She shifts on her feet, her gaze jumpy as it avoids me. “He didn’t tell you…”
“No, he didn’t tell me what he’s holding over your head.” I grab her hand to pull her close again and lift her chin, forcing her to meet my stare. “You don’t have to tell me, either,” I reassure her. “But…there’s one thing I need to know. You said you didn’t want to lose me, as if the choice hadn’t been yours. Did Shane force you to break up with me?”
Tears roll down her cheeks as she nods her head. “Shane wanted to hurt you, to get back at you for what you did to him. He said the best revenge would be taking away the person you care for most.” She hiccups. “The asshole was so proud of himself, saying he’d get the pleasure of watching you suffer without you realizing he was the one who caused it.”
Shane’s mind is even more warped than I imagined. He went after her to get to me. This is my fault. It’s not the first time I’ve paid for actions taken by the Westbrook Three, but it’s the first time I’ve felt regret over it. He deserved to pay retribution for the things he did. But I never would’ve done anything to Shane at the risk of getting Gwen involved in this shit.
That motherfucker better pray I don’t catch him alone again anytime soon.
I take a deep breath, wiping away her tears. She’s shed so many since my arrival. Thinking of all the tears she must’ve cried over the last two years, haunts me.
How many times did my hate-filled words cause more to flow?
“You could’ve come to me. I would’ve fixed it. You broke my fucking heart, Princess.”
“I’m sorry.” She throws her arms around me, squeezing me tight as she buries her tear-stained face in my shirt. “I’m so, so sorry.”
I wrap her into a hug and kiss the top of her head, holding her until she’s calmer.
She leans back, her eyes searching mine for forgiveness. “He said if I told you, he would—” Her body trembles in my arms. “You needed to believe I didn’t love you. It was the only way you’d let me go.”
My mind replays the scene of that night, the way it has many times over the last two years. Only this time, it’s from a new perspective.
“I know you can’t see it right now, but this is for the best.”
Even in that moment, she was trying to tell me something else was at play. But I was too confused and heartbroken to really comprehend what she was saying.
I lean down, resting my forehead on hers. “I never let you go and never will. You belong to me, and I belong to you.”
Her eyes light up, a soft smile curving her lips. “For keeps?”
“You better fucking believe it.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
13 years old
GWEN
I’m supposed to be studying for our test tomorrow, but I can’t take my eyes off Cole. He’s sitting next to me on my bed, his sweet and spicy scent inebriating in the best way. This kind, cute, temperamental boy is my entire world, and he doesn’t even realize it. I’m so tired of keeping my feelings a secret. Everything I’ve been hiding from him for all these years is bubbling at the surface, ready to come bursting out of me at any moment.
Cole’s eyes slide over, catching my stare. He shifts uncomfortably, closing his laptop and placing it on his bedside table. “I’m getting hungry. How about you?”
The shake of my head causes his eyes to narrow, and I know exactly what he’s going to ask me before he does.
“What did you eat today?”
I roll my eyes. “You saw me eat breakfast this morning, and I had a grilled chicken salad at lunch.”
Clearly my answer doesn’t satisfy his worry, because he frowns. He flipped out a few months ago after realizing I was barely eating, and throwing up what little I did eat.
Cole did everything he could to help me while also trying to avoid going to our parents. It wasn’t until he refused to eat unless I did that I started eating normally again. And I have been since then.
He’s always fearful I’ll relapse though, constantly monitoring my eating habits.
But this isn’t what he thinks. I’m just too nervous to eat right now.
It’s ridiculous. I’ve slept in this bed with Cole so many times over the last seven years. But things have changed between us recently. I’m not entirely sure when I first felt the shift. Perhaps when he told me my body was perfect and I was gorgeous, his eyes reflecting the sincerity behind his words. It was the first time I truly felt beautiful.
After that, I started noticing little things I didn’t pay much attention to before. The way his stare lingers on me. The tic of his jaw when I talk about a boy being cute. How he finds excuses to touch me.
I’m not sure what it means. But every time we’re alone together like this, there’s this pit in the bottom of my stomach. The kind you get when something big is about to happen.
He sighs. “Lunch was hours ago, Princess. You need to eat something.”
“I will. I just…”
I can’t hold my love for you in anymore.
“Talk to me,” he urges, lovingly brushing my hair away from my face. “Is something bothering you?”
That’s it. I’m making my move. This could ruin our friends
hip, but things are already getting weird between us. He must feel it too.
My heart beats wildly as I move my laptop to the end of the bed, positioning my body so I’m facing him. “Have you ever been kissed?” I blurt.
The question isn’t one I really want or expect him to answer. I’m fairly certain I already know what he’d say. It wouldn’t be easy for him to keep something like that a secret from me. If I’m wrong, it would break my heart. But, that’s not the point.
He clears his throat as he sits up straighter, his eyes widening. “What?”
“Because I haven’t. No one wants to kiss the fat girl.”
His features darken, his tone angry as he replies with, “Westbrook is full of a bunch of mindless assholes. You’re perfect. If they can’t see that, it’s their problem. Not yours.”
It’s a typical Cole response. A year ago, I would’ve thought he was only being kind, that he wanted to make me feel better but didn’t really believe I was perfect. But I’m seeing things in a new light. And I think he’s holding back, just like I am.
“That’s sweet and all, but it doesn’t change the fact that no one wants to kiss me,” I push.
“I assure you that’s not the case,” he scoffs, and hope blooms in my chest. “But if anyone tries it, they’ll end up with a broken nose.”
That type of comment used to make me roll my eyes. I thought he was acting like an overprotective brother. But just then, it sounded more like jealousy.
“Yeah right.” I sigh. “You only feel that way because you love me like a sister. If you saw me as an actual girl, you wouldn’t want me either.”
Cole lets out a choking cough, shaking his head as his gaze falls to his lap. “Believe me, my feelings for you are not of the brotherly type. I see you. Always have. Always will.”
The Princess and The Jester: A High School Bully Romance (Westbrook Three Book 3) Page 14