by Tijan
“For you, Heather, I’ll drive with both hands on the wheel and follow the speed limit.”
“Oh, so you’ll actually obey the law?” I smile without permission. Damn him.
He leans so his head is out the window. “I have a feeling you and I will be seeing each other again.”
“I don’t think so.”
In fact, I know we won’t. I know that I’ll never pull over his car again, and he doesn’t know anything about me other than my name and that I’m a cop. Okay, so maybe he knows a lot more than I’d like. Still, there’s no reason for him to talk to me again. Ever.
“You and your partner be safe on the job. I hate seeing fellow officers in the line of fire.”
My body twists, and I scoff. “You’re not a cop. You play a cop on television.”
“I have a badge.”
“It’s fake.”
Eli reaches across the seat and puts his “badge” on his lap. “Doesn’t look fake to me.”
I roll my eyes. “We both know that’s not real. Also, impersonating a police officer is a crime.”
“Are you going to arrest me?” Eli asks with a coy smile.
“You’re not worth the paperwork.”
With that, I turn and start to walk away. I don’t get too far when I hear him yell, “I’ll see you soon, Heather.”
Brody leans against the car with a huge grin on his face. I point at his chest and warn him again. “Not a word.”
He chuckles and climbs in the car. “You better pray no one at the station hears about this.”
I groan and rest my head on the seat. “I sure know how to complicate things.”
“Yeah, you sure do.”
With that, we both fall silent as I drive to the hospital. Brody and I walk to Stephanie’s room without commenting further on my life choices. It’s the one saving grace in my job, guys don’t want to talk about it all. Brody lets me say what I need to say, and then once he’s had his input, he’s done. I don’t have three-hour-long discussions to analyze the “why” of things with him. Nicole, who I’m sure is dying to grill me for details, is the exact opposite.
I make a mental note to avoid her as well.
As soon as I see Steph, I can tell she’s doing better. The shades are open, and she’s sitting on the guest chair and looking out at the water. Her hands are steady, and the overall mood in the room is lighter. But I know my instincts are correct when I see Stephanie’s big smile as we enter. “Brody!” she practically squeals.
Stephanie has had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. If I didn’t see him as an annoying guy who has gas issues, I probably would think he’s hot, too. He’s tall, has dark blue eyes, a chiseled jaw, and he oozes confidence.
“Steph!” He grins and pulls her into his arms. “You’re looking hot.”
I fight back slapping him, but I know he’s trying to make her happy. He is all too aware of her affections, and I’m grateful he doesn’t ever make her feel silly.
Rachel thinks it’s cute as well.
I think it’s ridiculous.
“Stop,” she says as the blush paints her cheeks. “How’s work?”
Brody fills her in on the call we just came from, and she clutches her chest. I could leave the room, do handstands, or juggle and she wouldn’t notice. When he’s around, he’s all she sees. He’s the only man in her life that doesn’t treat her like she’s dying.
“But the best part,” Brody leans in and my eyes widen, “was when your sister pulled over a famous actor!”
“Brody—” I try to stop him, but Stephanie waves her hand at me.
“Yup. Eli Walsh.”
“Oh my god!” Stephanie yells. “Eli! Like, the same guy you went to the concert to see?” she asks, looking at me and then Brody.
“The same one.” Brody grins. “Did Heather tell you they know each other?”
“Dead. You’re dead,” I state.
My hands start to sweat and regret washes through me. I didn’t want to tell anyone this. And my big mouth told Brody. Yes, he sort of figured it out on his own, but still. Now, the last person I want to tell is my sister.
I don’t know why, but I feel like an irresponsible adult who did something completely out of character. Letting her see that makes me want to crawl in a hole.
“Heather!” Stephanie shifts quickly. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
“There’s nothing to tell. You need to focus on you and not me.”
“What?” She looks affronted. “What does that mean?”
I walk toward her. “It’s nothing that I want to talk about.”
“But you’ll tell Brody?”
I was enjoying her good mood.
“Because Brody is nosey and figured it out. You don’t need to know about these things.”
Her face morphs from annoyed to pissed off. “You’re not my mom, Heather. You’re my sister. You act like I’m some kid. I’m twenty-six, and I’m so tired of you treating me like this.”
This the part of our relationship I absolutely hate. Stephanie doesn’t get that, while she’s technically an adult, she’s still a kid to me. I’m twelve years older than she is and practically raised her because she was a minor when our parents died. I wasn’t.
After that, we no longer had the relationship where she would try on my clothes and we’d spend hours watching movies. It became about homework, bills, laundry, and making sure she wasn’t cutting class. I don’t resent it. I would do it all over again. But it didn’t mean I liked the way it changed the dichotomy of our relationship.
“I know I’m not Mom. Believe me, I know.”
She’s used every opportunity to wield that sword at me, and it cuts deep each time, leaving wounds that aren’t superficial.
“Then stop treating me like your kid and treat me like your sister. I don’t know how much time I have left, and I would like to have our relationship be different.”
Tears fill my vision as she brings forth the truth of what time we have. Brody clears his throat and touches Steph’s arm. “I’m going to grab some coffee. See you later, Squirt.”
She fumes at his nickname and turns her head away.
I take Stephanie’s hand in mine. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“I ruin everything!” She bursts out and pulls her hand free from my grasp so she can cover her face.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because! I do!” Steph turns a little and a tear falls. “I know I’m the reason Matt left.”
“Steph—”
“No, I know.” She wipes the tear away and draws a long breath. “I hate that my illness brought you pain. You didn’t need that.”
My heart pounds in my chest, and I’m doing my best to stay strong. The fact that she thinks she’s responsible for Matt’s crappy decision is unreal. It isn’t her fault he wasn’t man enough—it’s his.
I open my mouth to dispute her, but she puts her hand to my lips.
“I’m not done. It’s been hard watching you scrimp and save because I can’t work. There’s nothing you wouldn’t and don’t do for me, and I love you so much. However, it doesn’t mean you can’t live, Heather. Jesus, live because I can’t.” Stephanie’s voice is strangled on her last word. The tears I was trying to keep at bay fall. I pull my baby sister into my arms and hold her to my chest. “I can’t live, but you can . . . and you should,” she says as both of us fall apart a little.
I grasp her face and pull her so we’re eye to eye. “You’re living now, Steph.”
“This isn’t living. This is waiting to die.”
The words I want to say all feel wrong. She has every right to be angry, sad, and anything else she grapples with. Her life was stripped from her in a way that took our world and knocked it over. There was no warning or planning for this disease.
Instead of demeaning her feelings, I hug her tighter and let her cry.
After a few minutes, she calms and leans back. “You okay?” I ask.
; “No, but I feel a little better.”
“You don’t have to hide your hurt from me,” I remind her. “I’m always here for you.”
Stephanie nods. “I know, but I miss my sister. I want to know when you do dumb things, and I sure as hell want to know when you meet some famous person.”
I groan, and my head falls back. “Fine. I’ll tell you all about it, but it’s so much more than meeting him.”
“Oh. My. God. Tell me you actually hooked up with him!”
There’s no way I’m getting out of this, and the joy that she has right now will be worth all my embarrassment.
I shift a little, trying to relax for this awkward confession. “I did. Get comfortable because I spent the other night being completely irresponsible.”
“Finally!”
Chapter 7
Eli
“Let me get this straight, you slept with her, she ran off, you see her again, and she walks away—again?” Randy asks with a shit-eating grin. “Man, you really have the touch.”
I regret coming here. After my run-in with Heather, I took a drive to Sanibel Island where Randy lives. I don’t know why I thought it was going to help me in some way. I should’ve known my brother and sister-in-law would be all too happy about this story.
I’ll get her, though.
It’s just going to take some finesse and a lot of patience. Plus, I still have the ace up my sleeve.
“Yup. It was fucking unbelievable.”
“You got out of the bathroom, and she was . . . gone?” Randy keeps pushing as he laughs.
“It was ridiculous. I couldn’t find her, and then realized she took off. Who the fuck does that?”
Savannah giggles. “Umm, you!”
Exactly. That’s my deal. I’m the one who runs out or finds someone to escort the stage-five clinger off the bus. I don’t go searching for the girl, and I definitely don’t go back for more when a girl brushes me off—twice.
“I never thought I’d see it happen.” Vannah leans back in her chair.
“See what happen?”
“A girl has you all twisted in knots. For once, you’re the one seeing what it feels like.”
I shake my head. She has no idea what she’s talking about. My sister-in-law is oblivious to the issue. It isn’t about her, it’s about how she seems not to care about me. I have feelings, too. I was in love before, but they forget that. “I’m not in knots. I’m goddamn confused. Why the hell would she push me away?”
“Oh, don’t even, Eli. You’re not some God. You’re a spoiled shit who has had everything handed to you on a silver platter.”
“The fuck I have.”
It’s her turn to give me a stare that would make any grown man cry. She looks around to make sure the kids aren’t near and then her face softens. “Watch your mouth. It’s bad enough Adriel told the teacher to kiss his ass the other day, we don’t need the F-word thrown around.”
Savannah is a great woman. She deals with a lot, but my seven-year-old nephew is a little shit. Adriel is the oldest, and he’s beyond overindulged. Randy was gone a lot when he was a baby and then overcompensated when he was home. I feel bad for her since she’s the one dealing with the fallout.
I put my hands up and flash her a smile. “Sorry. I’ll be more careful.”
“Good.”
“I’m just saying that we didn’t have it all that easy. There were no silver platters.”
Randy laughs. “You were eighteen when we were signed. Since then, have you had any issues?”
“Have you?” I gesture toward the walls around us. They act like they’re struggling. This nine million dollar mansion they’re living in doesn’t seem to be roughing it if you ask me.
“I remember Mom having to work an extra job for us to eat and take music lessons, do you?”
It always comes back to this. Of course, I remember. When our father passed away, everything changed. Yes, I was young, but that doesn’t mean I have no memory of it. My mother was great at hiding things, but no matter how hard you try, some things show through. When his child support stopped coming, we stopped doing a lot.
“Why do you think I took care of her when we got money?”
“Because you wanted to be her favorite,” he tosses back and chugs his beer.
“I already was, I didn’t need to buy her that house to solidify it.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” Randy laughs and shakes his head at me.
“Okay, boys. Back to my point. You’ve had a pretty easy adulthood, Eli. Girls flock to you, the band succeeded beyond anyone’s expectations, and then you landed the role on A Thin Blue Line without having any acting experience. Things fall in your lap, but this time . . . not so much.”
She has a point, but it doesn’t mean I don’t bust my ass. Sure, I was scouted and asked to join A Thin Blue Line, but I immediately started taking acting lessons. I hired the best coaches to make sure I earned my money. I can’t say anything about Four Blocks Down, that was a guy who promised us we’d be huge if we signed with him and a shit ton of luck.
Heather, though. She’s something completely different. For the first time, I don’t have someone chasing me because of who I am. Hell, she fucking ran.
I want to know why. I want to know what she’s hiding behind her tough-girl exterior. I’ve never spotted a girl in a concert like that. It took every ounce of self-control not to stare at her all night. There’s a pull between us, and I know she felt it.
I mentally scoff. It’s absolutely ridiculous that some girl is having this effect on me. But yet I keep wanting to go back which only proves that there’s something different. Why is this girl the only thing I can think about? The truth is, I wasn’t going to kick Heather out of my bed that night. I wanted to hold her in my arms, breathe her perfume through the night, and feel her skin against mine. Instead of getting any of that, she bolted. The worst part is then, I fucking chased after her, and I’m debating doing it again.
Savannah waves her hand in my face. “Well?”
“I think you’re wrong, Vannah. It has nothing to do with the thrill of the chase.” And it’s not, it’s her.
“Oh?” she asks with surprise. Shit, I said that aloud. “What is it then?” Vannah pushes.
“I don’t know,” I admit and take a drink. “It was something in her eyes. I’m sounding like a pussy, but I’m serious. It was like there was this . . . thing . . . and I just want to figure out what it was.”
Savannah does her best to hide her smile, but I see it. The eternal believer. She laid eyes on Randy and knew they’d be married. I’ve heard the story a million times, and each time, I fight back the need to puke. She swears that when it happens, you can’t go back.
“I’m not in love with her,” I quickly defend.
Randy elbows me. “Sounds like the first time I laid eyes on Savannah.”
“You were an idiot. Hell, you still are.”
“As is every man when he falls in love.”
“For fuck’s sake!” I throw my hands up and stand.
“Mouth!” Savannah yells.
“Sorry! But I’m not in love with anyone.”
I can’t believe these two. How does thinking about some girl equate to falling in love? It doesn’t.
It means I need one more time with her to prove that it’s all in my head.
That’s it.
I grab my wallet and keys, grumbling as I walk off. They’re wrong, and I’m not going to sit around with them as they try to convince me otherwise. All I know is her name, that she’s a cop, and her address, that’s it. How do you fall in love with a name? It isn’t realistic, and I have no intentions of ever loving another woman.
Been there, and I’d rather be broke than give anyone that kind of power over me again.
The last bitch wrecked me and almost destroyed everything I worked for.
“Hey,” Randy gets to his feet, “don’t be like this.”
“I’m going to prove you all wrong.”
“Untle Eli!” My niece runs over and leaps into my arms. “I missed you!”
“Hey, beautiful!” Daria is the only girl I’ll ever love. She’s three and owns my heart. I pity any asshole who ever tries to come near her. I don’t give a fuck if I’m in a wheelchair, I’ll kick his ass. “I missed you more.”
“You and Daddy sing me a song!”
I look over at my brother and see the same adoration in his eyes. Adriel may be spoiled, but Daria . . . she had him wrapped around her little finger. There’s nothing Randy won’t do for Daria.
“I need to get home, pretty girl.” I try to explain, but she crosses her arms and pushes her lips into a pout.
“Untle Eli, you don’t love me.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Puuuuuleeeeeease,” she begs and grabs my cheeks. “I lub you.”
I’m just as screwed as Randy. “I love you, too. One song.”
“Yay!” She claps her hands and wiggles for me to put her down. Three years old and has this whole world domination slash manipulation thing perfected already.
Eleven songs later, I’m finally standing at my car with my brother. “Listen, I know we gave you a load of shit in there, but you’re not the guy who has ever been hung up on a piece of ass.”
My blood pressure spikes a bit higher with each word, and I clench my fists. Heather isn’t a piece of ass.
Fuck.
What the hell am I even thinking?
That’s exactly what she is.
Randy smirks as if he expected this exact response and knows what I’m thinking.
He claps his hand on my shoulder and chuckles. “Go talk to her. If it’s nothing, then come here and we’ll tell Savannah how wrong she is. If nothing else, you’ll know for yourself.”
“You know that I refuse to do this again.”
“Because of Penelope?”
Just her name makes me want to punch something. “Yes.”
“That’s sad, man. You and her were a lifetime ago, and you’re older and wiser. No way you fall for another gold-digging whore like her.”