‘I’m just thinking about her, that’s all. Everything is fine.’
She was constantly worried about her emotional daughter out on that island but it wasn’t just Lia she was thinking about.
Will had only taken Jasmine to the island once, to meet his brother. They didn’t like each other but they both played nice for the short visit. Will had brought her around the island, showing her everything with pride and love. Even wearing her lowest heels, her shoes were useless on the rough ground.
Lia was more like Will than her. Jasmine didn’t care for emotions very much. They were what led people into trouble. But on her first and only visit to the island, even she felt a strange stew of emotions coming from her new husband. After the novelty of being in a remote world so different to her own passed, she noticed that he seemed fizzy. Excited and nervous, almost afraid. He loved the island and was greeted with apparent pleasure by everyone they met. And yet, he acted like a man trying to enjoy a last meal before being brought to the gallows. He couldn’t sleep, he was sweaty, and either manic or surly. Of course, at the time of their whirlwind romance and marriage, she hadn’t realised that his heightened state was just an exaggeration of his normal manic depression. He refused to seek help or a diagnosis, but he was never as bad as he had been on the island with her.
He had such a good heart and he could be so funny, but his mood swings were impossible to predict and increasingly impossible to live with. He was never violent but he was a tall, strong man with a temper and she was sometimes afraid. Ash was more … manageable. Was it her fault that, in contrast to her difficult husband, Ash seemed calm and sophisticated? Not sophisticated, she admonished herself. Ash was civilised. Now, more than ever, she suspected that Will wasn’t, not really. There was too much of the wild islander in him. Even though he had happily left his life and his family to share her life in New York, he had carried the island with him, and never quite settled, even though there were many parts of city life that he had enjoyed.
And now her daughter, who was too like Will, was on that cursed island. Far away from her in more than miles.
She picked at her delicious food and realised that Ash was still watching her. She mentally shook herself and touched his hand.
‘I’m sorry. I’m here now, honestly. How’s your food?’
He smiled at her, appearing reassured and happy to move on. ‘Wonderful. This wine complements it perfectly.’
She returned the smile, thinking how easy it must be to be him. She couldn’t imagine it. Maybe she was a little more like Will and Lia than she had realised and maybe that wasn’t so bad.
Eight
I looked upon the sea, it was to be my grave.
Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, 1818
Next morning, Lia woke up slowly, with the sounds of the kitchen below sinking into her half-dreaming state. She opened her eyes and couldn’t think where she was. Someone had left the window partly open and a chill breeze was moving the curtain. It brought the smell of the sea and with it a rush of memories from the day before. Her eyes were sore and her throat raw. Oh God, she had cried first in front of Ed, then later when she saw Harry, too like his brother. She hadn’t cried like that since … well, she hadn’t ever cried like that at all. Yesterday, the fright of Becky’s emergency and all the blood, and then seeing the place where her father had gone to his death, had finally broken whatever dam she had built inside and her grief had come pouring out.
She knew she had to ring Jasmine now. They had been hard on each other, not knowing the right way to grieve, or even how to start. The distance between her dad being alive and being in a closed coffin had made it all unreal. She thought now that she and her mother had both felt abandoned. They expected to see him again and that moment never came, leaving everything unfinished. The coffin was closed and Harry had done the identification in Ireland. Jasmine had insisted on burying her husband in the plot they had bought together in New York. Even the ceremony had seemed empty of meaning.
Who even knew if it was her dad who was in that wooden box buried in the cold ground of a city cemetery with room for one more coffin beside it? Of course it was, but she had no proof of it. She was expected to believe that the man she had known all of her life was under the headstone. All of his kindness, his occasional nerves and desire to retreat to his study to read instead of going to glittering parties with his glamorous wife; all of his vitality when he was happy, playing with her in the park; his lovely piano-playing and awful efforts to learn the harmonica; his flashes of manic humour when he pranked her mother; all of it just irretrievably gone, which seemed impossible. Stupid. A waste.
Lia felt anger flare through her, but it lasted no more than a second. She had to be honest with herself. He was complicated and made up of both light and darkness. She supposed most people were but her dad had never achieved a balance. Instead, he had shared a teeter-totter, a see-saw, with an imaginary other, who sometimes let him ride high and sometimes pushed him down.
Lia knew that she was right. She had been right to come here. The hole in her chest was still gaping and raw, but she believed for the first time that it would heal. Slowly maybe, but inexorably. So, she took a deep breath and threw the covers back.
After a shower, she dared to look at herself. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face puffy and blotchy. Definitely a day for a bit of camouflage. When she was ready, she went downstairs.
She followed the sounds into the kitchen.
‘Just in time,’ Harry said. ‘Here, eat this.’
He put a plate on the scrubbed table. Lovely buttery scrambled eggs on toast. He poured a mug of mahogany tea for each of them and sat down to drink his own.
Now, she thought, he’ll say things.
But he didn’t. He let her eat and he drank two cups of tea with lots of milk, all without saying a word. When she finished, he nodded.
‘OK?’ he said, his eyes on hers.
She nodded slowly.
‘OK,’ she said.
He nodded again and headed out to the pub, whistling through his teeth, which she had learned he did when he was busy.
She cleared away the dishes, wiped the table and stood in the middle of the kitchen, wondering what to do. It was too early to call New York. She wanted to say sorry to Ed for all that crying. First, she must find out about Becky and her baby – she had forgotten to ask Harry. She pulled on a jacket and passed through the bar looking for him. She heard him moving barrels in the side yard so she went that way.
‘Harry, I’m going for a walk, but I wanted to ask you first about Becky. Has there been any news?’
‘Oh, sorry, I should have said – she had the baby – a boy. Rose was with her. Matt didn’t make it in time, but he wasn’t too late. He’s over there now. The baby is fine. Becky isn’t great, but she’ll be OK. Frank is the one everyone is worried about now.’
‘Frank?’
‘Rose’s husband. Remember I told you he gave up the boat?’
Lia nodded, suddenly hearing Becky’s voice again. Dad. It had sounded like she was saying Dad over and over.
‘What happened to him?’ she asked.
‘No one can find him. The boys went out last night and searched for him. I stayed on here in case you … needed anything in the night. But they didn’t find him.’ He sighed heavily. ‘Like I said, there’s always something. Anyway, they’re still looking for him. I’m going out in a while myself to search, in the boat.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘Say a prayer if you’re that way inclined. I’m hoping we missed him and he went on the first ferry this morning.’ He checked his watch. ‘Although we’d surely have heard by now. Anyway, you did everything you needed to do yesterday. If you and Ed hadn’t come upon Becky when she was in trouble, who knows what would have happened?’
He took out his wallet and peeled off a note.
‘Look, Ed’s a good lad. Why don’t you take him to the café for lunch? You won’t be the only ones there,
even at this time of the year. There are lots of retired people who don’t bother cooking during the day. Not very exciting but the grub is great. Have the chocolate fudge cake.’ He thought for a second and gave her another note. ‘If she has a full one, bring it home. I love that stuff.’
She grinned at him. ‘OK, Sweet Tooth. I’ll see you later. Thanks for the money.’
He winked and went back to his work.
Lia went around the back, circling the pub until she was in sight of her robin friend on the sign.
It was still early, and she knew that Ed would have farm work, but maybe he wouldn’t mind if she tagged along with him. Maybe she could even help.
Feeling better, lighter, than she had in a while, she set off on the road. The day was colder, the sky a slate grey. She realised that she could smell rain in the air and marvelled at it. She loved the parks in the city, but here she was somehow closer to the earth, the sea and sky. She could feel a difference in the air pressure too, especially when she got closer to the Hall. She was glad to veer off and follow the narrow lane to the farmhouse. The lane, lined with stunted trees, felt a few degrees colder and more shadowed. It gave her a bad feeling.
The farm was quiet. Maybe he had already fed all the animals, and they were munching peacefully. Yet she was almost afraid to approach the door of the house. Like her sense of rain, she knew there was something wrong. Hurrying now, she crossed the yard and knocked on the front door. There was no sound of movement in the house. She tried peering through the window, but net curtains effectively shut her out. She found her way around the side of the house to a door that looked like it was more well-used. There was a mud-scraper outside. She had never seen one before but its purpose was clear, as it was caked in dry crusty muck.
She knocked. The door was on the latch and slightly open. Slowly, she pushed it wider.
‘Ed? Hello?’
Nothing.
If his father was in, surely he would have responded by now?
She stepped inside and looked around. It was clean but untidy, a bit like Harry’s except without Rose’s input.
Moving deeper into the room, her heart beating hard, she saw a laptop with a cracked lid on the floor, along with a scatter of glossy printer paper and a broken cup. On the other side of the room was Ed’s camera, smashed to bits. Her hand flew to her mouth. Someone had thrown it. Someone had knocked everything off the table and smashed the camera.
She went to pick it up, but her foot slid. She looked down. Drops of rusty brown … something. Not something, Lia. You know what it is.
‘Blood,’ she whispered.
‘Only a small bit.’
Lia let out a small scream at the sound of the voice, which didn’t sound like Ed’s.
But it was Ed. He was leaning against an interior door, not casually, but for support. His voice was thick because his bottom lip was cut, and his cheek was puffy. On that side, his eye was black too. Blood had crusted on the eyebrow above.
She rushed to his side.
‘Careful, don’t squeeze me.’
She gave him a gentle hug which he returned one-armed, burying his face in her hair.
She drew back and took his hand in both of hers.
‘Who did this?’
He made a face and winced at the pain.
‘Don’t worry about it – it’s nothing,’ he said.
‘Don’t say that.’
He hesitated. ‘OK. Sorry.’
‘And everything is ruined. Your camera.’
He looked around her and she saw his face change.
‘Bastard,’ he said under his breath. He went red, then pale.
Lia saw him literally sway on his feet. She tucked herself under his arm and took him out of the room. He felt resistant at first but then let her lead him.
‘In there,’ he said.
She took him into a small sitting room and helped him to sit down on the sofa. She opened the curtains and sat beside him.
‘Was it your dad?’
‘Yeah. Always is.’
She took his hand again. The knuckles were scraped and bruised.
‘You hit him back?’
‘Yeah. He’s heavy though. And mean when he’s drunk. I’m out of practice. He hasn’t done that since … since Mam was alive. I guess he’s back to his old ways.’
He looked at her.
‘Not impressing you much, am I? You needn’t stay. I’ll be grand.’
‘Shut up, Ed,’ she said, making herself smile, despite the rage and fear for him which were competing for dominance in her heart.
‘OK,’ he said, trying to smile back through his split lip.
Lia sat quietly, thinking. Ed made a sound like he was falling asleep. She held his hand, watching his face. He dozed for ten or fifteen minutes before waking up again.
‘Sorry. Had a restless night.’
‘What are you going to do, Ed?’
‘I don’t know. Stay. Go. I don’t know. It’s not the first time. Not the worst either. Nothing’s broken. I’ve taken a few painkillers. They’re kicking in now. I feel better.’
‘Where is he?’
‘What time is it?’ he said.
‘About ten.’
‘He’s probably in the Rest, having his first pint. The animals aren’t bawling so he must have fed them at least.’
‘Do you want me to check?’ Lia said.
‘No, thanks. I’ll do it. And then I think I might make myself scarce for a couple of days until he settles down.’ His brows drew together. ‘Oh God, my camera.’
‘I know, I’m sorry.’
‘I’ve got the pictures on a USB but it’ll take me forever to get another camera.’
‘It meant a lot to you,’ she said.
‘Yeah. I mean ... it’s not just a hobby. I was trying to do something. Trying to be a photographer, I suppose.’
‘You will be,’ she said.
‘I don’t know. I can’t see how at the minute.’
‘Because if it’s what you want, you’ll find a way. It just looks bad today. Believe me, I know how bad things can look.’
He nodded. ‘Well, we’d better get out of here in case he decides to come back early from the pub. Like that’s going to happen when he’s on a tear.’
Ed got stiffly to his feet, but Lia could see that he was moving better than when she had first seen him. He wouldn’t let her go upstairs with him to gather a few things, going red when she offered. She debated about tidying up but decided Ed’s dad had made the mess so he could clean it himself. She did wipe up the nearly dry blood though.
‘Hey.’
Ed had a sports bag over his shoulder. He bent down with difficulty and touched one finger to his broken camera. Lia knew nothing about cameras but she could see it was beyond repair. He put the bag down and managed to get the memory card out of the camera. He stood up stiffly and tucked the card into his wallet.
‘The laptop might be OK,’ Lia said. ‘Maybe it’s only the lid.’
‘Hopefully. I’ll bring it anyway. Would you mind putting it in its case?’
She did as he asked and hung it across her body.
Ready to go, Ed paused at the back door and looked back.
‘My mother was here, always.’
‘She probably wouldn’t want you to stay here for her. Not if he’s going to hurt you.’
Ed didn’t reply. He just turned and left the house.
Lia pulled the door closed behind her, leaving it on the latch as she had found it. Together, they made sure that the animals had enough food, water and bedding before walking back towards the village.
‘You can stay in the pub – Harry has lots of room,’ Lia said when they reached the Robin’s Rest.
‘I can’t pay for it. I’ll ask Mrs. Glenn if I can sleep on her sofa for a couple of nights.’
‘You will not. Stay here and I’ll sort this out.’ Lia used her sternest voice and, though she saw him smile at it, it worked.
She went inside. T
here were four men at the bar, talking quietly.
She beckoned urgently to Harry. He gave one of the men his change and came around the bar to her.
‘What’s up? I thought you wouldn’t be back till later.’
She urged him outside.
Harry swore under his breath when he saw Ed’s face.
‘I thought he’d stopped all that after your mother?’
‘He had. I guess he likes things the way they used to be. Is he inside?’
Harry shook his head. ‘No, he came in and had two. Said he was going across and left.’
‘Harry, can Ed stay here for a couple of days? I’ll pay,’ Lia said.
‘He can, but no one will pay. Go on in, Ed, get settled. I’d better go back to the boys. You’ll mind him, won’t you, Lia? Get him something to eat.’ He patted Ed on the shoulder and went inside.
Lia took Ed upstairs and got him settled. He didn’t want food. He just lay down on top of the bed and fell asleep straight away. She closed the door quietly and went downstairs. God, what a couple of days!
She went outside and walked across the grass, following the path worn by feet, and sat down at the place her father had last stood. Remembering Ed’s warning about not being too close to the edge, she lay on her belly, feeling the cold coming from the ground. She looked over.
The Devil’s Teeth were more exposed, their tops poking out of the water.
Lia froze, burying her fingers in the spongy grass.
Dad. It’s Dad.
He was on his back, facing the sky. The Devil’s Teeth had pierced his body and held him still. His hands moved with the waves, and his head fell to one side, as though he were looking for her.
Harry and the other men came when they heard her screams.
It wasn’t her dad, of course, but Harry could see why she would have thought it. Harry himself had gone cold all over when he saw the body impaled on the Devil’s Teeth. The man looked like Will had done, except that his brother had been facing down, as though looking for something in the water.
‘It’s not your dad, Lia. It’s not him. I think it’s Frank.’ He wrapped her in his arms, almost engulfing her against his chest. He wasn’t sure she had taken it in, but then she took a deep breath and went still in his arms.
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