by Kyoko M
“Good to know,” I said, cutting him short. “Is Gabriel there or not?”
Belial watched me for a moment and then switched his gaze to Jordan. He closed his eyes.
“I sent one of my minions to Hell. He was able to verify that Gabriel is indeed being held in Pandemonium.”
My energy lashed outward in all directions like some unholy creature from the depths of the ocean. I dug my fingers into my palms damn near hard enough to draw blood. Jordan stroked the inside of my left arm to calm me down. Her touch soothed me somewhat, but there was nothing that could change the fact that my brother was a captive in the fires of Hell because of me.
Jordan came forward. “Then you know what I’m going to ask next. You’re an archdemon. You have to know a way for us to get him out.”
Belial sighed. “There is nothing on this earth that can get your archangel out of Hell. There is no spell. There is no sigil. It is final.”
“What if we offered to take his place?”
The archdemon went completely still. I couldn’t even see him breathing. His voice came out barely past a whisper. “What?”
“What if you lead us into Hell to bring him out and we stay behind?”
He stood up, slowly, as if the movement were painful. She didn’t back up when he loomed over her from less than a foot away.
“Jordan, you have been through many trials in your unfortunate life, but there is nothing—and I do mean nothing—that can even come close to being in Hell. You have a limited understanding of what Hell actually is. It’s not fire and brimstone. This is a place that cannot even be spoken of without reverence. This is a place in which the entire design is meant to bring out the worst in every soul that passes through the gates. Every sight, every sound, every scent, everything is purposely engineered to drive you mad with a type of agony that your human brain cannot even fathom. Hell will swallow you whole. It will rip open your chest, spread out your soul, and expose every evil, selfish desire therein. It will amplify them all until you lose every sense of yourself. You will be unable to hear the still, soft voice of the Son. You will be without conscience, without hope, without love, and without sanity.”
He drifted even closer, his voice never rising in pitch. “And somehow, if you managed to hold yourself together after crossing over into the Pit, there is always the matter of having me be your escort. Hell does more than just replenish my strength. I am a creature of darkness. Hell feeds into that and I will not be the charming demon you’ve come to know over the years. I will revert to my true form, my true personality, my true nature. And you will be so afraid of me that it will make your bones ache. Fear is what I live off of. You think you know the depths of my want, but you have no idea. You say you want me to guide you, but you have to understand that it will take every ounce of my willpower not to throw you to the ground and devour you on the spot. You are expecting me to exercise restraint in my domain when you are the one soul I desire most in this and any world. It’s a laughable notion at best. Even with your husband there, I cannot promise that I won’t use my influence over you to make you mine.”
He whirled on me next. “And you, archangel. You know that everything I am telling her is the truth and yet you are stupid enough to even allow her to ask me. Did you not pledge your life to this woman? Did you not vow to forsake all others and cherish only her? What kind of husband would even consider allowing the love of his life to walk through the gates of Hell for another man? You would risk losing her to save your brother? The very notion makes me think less of you, and I did not fathom that was possible.”
“That’s because you’re not her husband,” I answered. “Marriage of the Souls means becoming one. Her desires are my desires. If this is what she truly wants, then I will do it because she asked me to. Because I love her. Because I trust her. Because I want to save my brother even more than she does.”
The archdemon kept shaking his head. “You are both morons. I’ll have no part of your misguided attempts at redemption.”
“Cut the bullshit, Belial,” Jordan said.
He eyed her, and it wasn’t a friendly look. “I told you once that I’d eat your tongue right out of your mouth if you took such a tone with me again, Seer.”
“You know as well as I do that there is something to gain here, for you and for us,” Jordan continued. “So why don’t you tell me the real reason why you’re refusing to lead us to Gabriel?”
He balled his hands into fists. “I have spent enough time in your company. Bringing you to Mulciber’s stronghold will only make my master even more suspicious. I’ll not have my reputation any further stained.”
“You’re looking at this the wrong way. Think, Belial. He told you to kill me, but what if you show up in Hell not only with my soul in tow, but the archangel Michael himself? Lucifer is not omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent. If you enter Hell under the pretense that you’re bringing us to him as presents to earn back your honor, it will restore everything you want and more.”
“And if somehow you manage to escape with Gabriel’s soul to the surface, what of my honor then? I’ll have let you slip through my fingers in his domain. The punishment for that would be unspeakable.”
“Not if you stage a coup,” I said, finishing her point. “Tell him you’re bringing us as gifts and then challenge Moloch to a duel. If you defeat him, then you’ll be back in charge. You’d have the authority to do whatever you want, including letting Gabriel go free.”
“And directly challenge my master? Are you insane?”
“How long have you served him, Belial? Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not tired of following orders. That you’re not angry he demanded that you kill the woman you love. That you’re not sick of being under his thumb. Promoting Moloch over you was a mistake and it’s about time you proved that to him.”
“Are you suggesting that I raise arms against the Father of Darkness?”
“No. But you know him. He respects ambition, and you are the most ambitious demon on the planet. He’ll allow it.”
“Only if I make him a better offer. You know what he’ll ask for. It’s the same thing that Mulciber will ask for. A life for a life. She’ll tell you that she will let Gabriel go if you remain in Hell as her prisoners. And then she will keep all three of you because there would be no reason to bargain with captives.”
“Don’t worry about Mulciber,” Jordan said. “If we could get her out of the picture, would you be willing to try?”
He massaged the bridge of his nose. “Alright, so perhaps you two have considered some of the ramifications of this idiotic plot. Still, there is one thing you seem to be forgetting.”
“And that is?” Jordan asked.
“I hate you.” He made it a frank statement. “You’re both my enemies. Why should I release you? It would be the crushing blow I need to deliver to the angels to have two of the three archangels in Hell. It could change the course of the war in our favor.”
“You’re right,” I said. “That’s a completely valid point.”
A faint smile brushed over my lips. “But I also know that you’re too proud to let me rot in Hell saving Gabriel. You want me there, but by your hand. Walking in voluntarily isn’t good enough. You want to defeat me once and for all to prove that you’re better.”
Belial’s frigid gaze didn’t waver. “And what of Jordan? I may have given up my romantic interest in her, but that doesn’t mean I can resist having her at my side. She has power beyond her own comprehension. Power that I can use.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” she replied without hesitation.
Finally, the harsh lines on Belial’s face softened. “You would do that for him? You love Gabriel enough to risk eternal damnation.”
“He’s the reason my soul isn’t still damned in the first place. It all started with Gabriel. If it has to end, then I’d rather it be because of him too.”
Belial exhaled. “You are a sentimental fool, Jordan Amador.”
He headed for the door down the hall that I assumed led to the bedroom and opened it. He paused. “We will prepare for our descent into the underworld in an hour. Spend your last minutes on earth wisely.”
The door closed behind him. The silence was deafening. Sixty minutes to come to terms with the fact that we were literally going to Hell.
Jordan turned to me, her brown eyes brimming with both joy and apprehension, and then settled her forehead on my chest. A long, shuddering sigh escaped her. “I can’t believe that worked.”
I wrapped my arms around the small of her back, linking my fingers over it, and rested my chin on the crown of her head. “I can’t believe he’s giving us time to say goodbye.”
“Well, there’s really only time for one thing before we go.”
“Yeah.”
She slipped her fingers between mine and led me towards the couch.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
MICHAEL
“Oh, is that all you got? You’re finished! Three…two…one!”
I threw my head back and groaned with all the air in my lungs. Jordan jumped up from the couch and thrust both fists in the air, dropping her game controller as the television screen declared her the winner of the match.
“Yes! Say it!”
I palmed my face in annoyance. “Fine. You are the Queen of Tekken.”
“That’s what I thought,” she said with the utmost smugness in her voice. “There. I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten that out of my system.”
She plopped back down on the seat and sighed happily. I continued shaking my head, glaring daggers at my defeated ex-wrestler lying prostrate on the ground while an adorable Chinese girl with pigtails flashed a victorious smile. I had fought in more wars than I could count. I could pick up a Greyhound bus with one hand. I could run faster than a cheetah. But I couldn’t beat my own wife in a video game. Pathetic.
“Happy now?” I grumbled, finally lowering my hand from my face.
“Ecstatic, actually.”
“Glad one of us is.” I collapsed sideways and laid my head in her lap, frowning up at her. “I’m never going to get my Man Card back at this rate.”
She slid her long fingers into my hair, brushing it away from my brow. “Hey, it’s not like we’ve ever had a conventional marriage anyway. I was bound to be better at something than you.”
“Still think you’re cheating,” I muttered, and she flicked my nose.
“I can’t believe an archangel of the Lord is such a sore loser.”
“Well, no one said I was perfect.”
She kissed my forehead. “Not true. I did. Maybe not out loud, but I’ve thought it plenty of times.”
Something warm unfurled in my chest. I hated that she could make me feel better so easily. I was such a sap. To distract myself from this thought, I checked my watch.
“Well, we’ve still got ten minutes left,” I said. “What do you think we should do with it?”
She continued smoothing her hand through my hair. It felt wonderful. “Maybe order a pizza? Call our loved ones? Watch some porn?”
I choked on a laugh. “I think you just summed up your personality there, Jor.”
“What?”
“Food, love, and sex. That’s who you are at your core, isn’t it?”
She shrugged. “No argument there. I’m a simple girl.”
A comfortable quiet fell over us. I closed my eyes, soaking in the pleasure of her touch. We hadn’t done this in so long. We hadn’t been us in what felt like forever. There had been walls between us, but not always. Some of the best days of our marriage had been the ones where we both had the day off and we just stayed home and did nothing together.
Since I was born fully made in God’s image, I never experienced childhood. After Jordan realized this, she decided to give me a taste of what it was supposed to be like. One day, I got home from work to find that she had taken four chairs and some covers and she made me a blanket fort. She told me that I needed a crash course in childhood. It was stupid, but we spent the night in that thing eating popcorn and watching Batman: The Animated Series until four o’clock in the morning. It was one of my favorite nights that I could recall.
When I was younger, human life seemed trivial and boring from the outside. I couldn’t have known that there was such beauty in the little things. That was something I would always be grateful for after meeting Jordan.
“I’m gonna miss this,” I whispered after a while. “I really am.”
“Me too,” she said in that same grave tone. “I want to call Lauren and my dad and Mrs. Lebeau and everyone else, but…I can’t say goodbye. I just can’t. Where would I start? I’d only upset them and they don’t deserve that. They’ve been so good to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.”
The pain echoing in her words made something inside me ache. I sat up and opened my arms to her. “Come here.”
She climbed into my lap, straddling my thighs. I settled my hands on her waist and leaned my forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, her arms around my neck, her fingers toying with the edges of the hair along my nape. I held her for a long while, saying nothing, because this was enough. Eventually, the words just came to me.
“Do you remember our first night together?”
She smiled and it was a bit shy. “Of course. How could you possibly think I could ever forget?”
“That’s not what I meant. Do you remember what I said about the scars?”
“Yeah. That they didn’t make me ugly. They made me beautiful because it meant that I could live with any pain that came my way.”
I slipped my fingers beneath the hem of her shirt, tracing the ones I knew were there, because I had memorized every inch of her skin long ago. She shivered a little. My mind drifted to that very night, conjuring up images of her lying naked on her stomach and me above her, kissing each and every scar on her back. “I meant that. I wasn’t just trying to be romantic. You told me you carry your scars like you carry everything else. But there’s something that I need you to do for me before we go.”
“What?”
“You have to let go. You’re going to have to let go of everything that you regret. I know you’ve made mistakes and I know that they haunt you. You had nightmares for years before I came along, and I know you still have them when I’m not around. That weight is going to crush you if you take it into Hell. It’s going to be hard, but you have to do it. It’s the only way you can survive crossing through the gates.”
She attempted to smile. “What? Is it sort of like Peter Pan? I have to focus on any little happy thought?”
“I wish that were enough. I can’t prepare you for it, but the least that I can do is make it easier. If I were a better husband, I’d knock you out and go it alone. I should, you know.”
She adopted a sarcastic scowl. “And you also know that it wouldn’t do you any good. Short of putting me in a coma, I’d still follow you. You’re my husband. I’m your wife. I go where you go. You go where I go. End of story.”
“I know, I just…” I exhaled. “I wish it wouldn’t be too painful for us to make love one last time. I love being with you. I love seeing that side of you. It’s the only part of you that’s mine, no one else’s. It’s the only part of you that I don’t have to share.”
“I know,” she murmured. “I love that part of you too. I hate it when other girls look at you. It drives me nuts. Stop being so attractive.”
I laughed. “I’ll work on that.”
She kissed me. It was tender and slow—something we also hadn’t been lately. As amazing as our most recent time in bed had been, I hadn’t intended it to be the last. It shouldn’t have been a selfish act of physical gratification. I would always regret it.
Jordan drew back first. I could tell by the way she was trembling that she was holding back tears. She cleared her throat. “What about Allison? If you’re gone, who’s going to help her?”
“She’ll be alright. I made a call. The girl’s home is
going to get a sizeable anonymous donation to fund them for at least the next decade. She’s strong. She’ll make it.”
“Maybe you should call her. She’ll think you abandoned her if she calls and you never pick up again.”
I mulled the thought over. She had a point. Allison had enough problems without developing abandonment issues.
I fished my phone out of my pocket. “This is gonna suck.”
“Unbelievably so.”
I took a deep breath and dialed her number. It rang. Voicemail picked up instead. Damn it. Of course.
“Hey, kid. It’s Michael. I…just wanted to call and check on you. I know you had a test at the end of the week. I’m sure you aced it. And I know you hate it when I say that, but whatever, you’re smarter than you think you are. I hope you know that by now. I want you to know that I’ve never stopped believing in you. Ever. And I never will. And if something happens to me, I want you to know that I’ll be alright. I’ve gotten to a place where I can accept who I am and what I have to do in this life. Nothing that happens after today is your fault. You’re a good kid, Ally. You can make it. You can become more than what you are. You’re going to get good grades, go to college, find something you love, and do it for the rest of your life. Promise me that you will and I’ll be the happiest loser on the planet. Take care, okay? Bye.”
I hung up. Jordan helped me lower the phone because my hand shook a bit. She pushed a tuft of hair behind my ear and smiled at me. “You’re a good man, Michael O’Brien.”
“Back atcha, baby.”
She laughed a little and kissed me again. I felt the wet warmth of tears on my cheeks. I cradled her lovely face between my hands and kissed her with everything in me. I didn’t recall how much time passed before we broke apart. I wiped away her tears with my thumbs and then reached for her left hand. She seemed surprised until I took her wedding band off my pinky finger and returned it to her ring finger.
“Te amo.”
“Te amo.”
“Oh, for the love of God.”
I glanced over her shoulder to see Belial standing there, staring at the television set, aghast with horror. “You spent your last hour on this earth playing video games?”