by Nikki Steele
Tentatively, I began to hum. I didn’t know what the tune was, just that I needed to comfort my child... and myself.
[music]
Mmm, hmmm mmm.
It was a formless tune that started out slow and sad, but I couldn’t have that. No. My baby wasn’t going to be surrounded by sadness, even if I was. I picked up the tempo slightly.
When I was a little girl, one of my favorite musicals had been about a plucky red haired orphan who grew up desperate to find her parents. No matter what happened to her, Annie never let life get her down. Tomorrow... I whispered, voice cracking, as I realized the song that I wanted to sing.
The world could be a bright place, for my child, if I was strong enough. A place where the sun came out. I began to sing. Just like in the song, life would get better for both my baby and myself, if I could just hold on until tomorrow.
My voice grew stronger as I sung from memory, the melody clear in my mind. Without meaning to, Chase had given me the hope I now wanted to pass on to my child—that there were good people out there, the sort who wanted to make life better for others. With Chase, love was possible, and it was wonderful.
I found myself smiling as I hit the refrain. I hoped wherever he was, he knew I was thinking of him. And that even if he didn’t want children, he knew that he’d already affected mine.
I hadn’t done enough singing in the past few days. The song I sung now calmed and centered me. I would need this strength in the coming months and years ahead. There would be tough times, but I had to keep an eye on the sunshine that was bound to follow.
No one else could hear me, no-one except the baby—whose ears would be just starting to develop around now. I was singing to myself. And my unborn child.
I would be a strong example for my baby. I would show them that nothing could stand in their way if they wanted happiness badly enough. There was no such thing as a permanent low. I would be proof of that—life was a series of peaks and valleys. Dan had been a trough, and Chase had been a soaring peak. I’d show my child through the power of example that after a peak, you didn’t have to slide back down again.
I patted my belly as the song came to a close. I could do this. We were never given more than we could handle. I’d been given a responsibility, and I would handle it. There would be difficult days, but the sun would always come out again. I would always have hope for something better. Who knows, maybe once things had settled down, I could even re-establish contact with Chase. Maybe if I explained things right, he wouldn’t hate me. We could be friends.
My phone buzzed from the living room, where I’d left it on the coffee table. I went in to answer it, thinking how funny it would be if Chase was on the other end of the line.
It wasn’t him, of course. He didn’t have my number. But it was Janice. As were the other 14 missed calls. I picked the phone up immediately, the calm I’d previously felt evaporating. What had happened?
“Janice. What’s wrong?” I asked as soon as she answered.
Instead of replying, she began screaming with excitement. Screaming, and laughing, and babbling about something wonderful happening, though I couldn’t make heads or tails of what she was saying.
“Slow down!” I laughed. “What’s going on?”
She was gasping for breath. “Rachel! Are you living under a rock?”
“Um...no?” I said, confused.
“You mean you don’t know there’s a commercial about you on TV?”
Chapter 5
“What? Stop. You’re joking!”
“Rachel, I swear. Turn on your TV. It doesn’t matter which channel—it’s on every one!”
I picked up the remote. What was she going on about? Why would there be a commercial about me on TV? I started flipping through channels. “I don’t see anything, Jan.”
“Be patient! You’ll see it soon. I think it’s playing every 15 minutes. That’s what they said on the news, anyway.”
My jaw dropped. “The news? What?” Had I fallen asleep singing to the baby, and now I was dreaming? I switched the channel to the local news and sat down, waiting to see if I heard something. Janice turned it on as well.
“How do you know it’s about me?” I asked.
She shushed me. “Here we go! Here’s the story!”
We were both silent as the newscaster began speaking. “Who is the mystery woman at the heart of a series of commercials flooding the airwaves? That’s the question on the minds of New Yorkers tonight, as a 15 second slot by a billionaire music executive takes the city—and internet—by storm. In the commercials, Chase Richards—best known in music circles for his behind the scenes work with multiple chart topping pop acts, his philanthropic interests, and his contributions to New York Broadway—reaches out to a woman who has stolen his heart. The commercial first began airing across all major networks this afternoon, and has captured the imagination of millions.”
My mouth slowly dropped open.
“In case you haven’t seen it—and who hasn’t by now?—here it is, for your enjoyment.”
Janice squealed over the phone as an image of the New York skyline appeared and a voice with a sexy English accent began to speak. “In a city of millions, our paths crossed.”
I knew that voice. Tears began to prick at the corners of my eyes.
Then the image of the entrance to the bar in which we’d met. “Your beautiful voice was silent for too long. I was blessed to hear you give your song life.”
Now the image of the theatre in which I’d sung. “And again, on stage, a private concert. I’ll never forget that moment.”
Then, Chase. He was standing in the middle of Central Park. “When I sat there, watching you,” he said, “I knew my heart was yours, forever.” He looked up at the camera. “But you never told me your last name, though we met multiple times. And you never gave me your phone number, though I kept asking for it. I can’t wait at that bar for another two weeks again, for you to walk in, Rachel. Please. Call me.”
Music began to play as the screen faded to black. It was the Beatles. Love is all you need. The words kept repeating over and over again.
The newscasters came back onscreen, the two female presenters sighing. “Sort of makes you wish your name was Rachel, doesn’t it?” one asked, dabbing at her eye with a tissue.
My mouth began to move, but no sound came out. I was speechless.
“Rach? You still there?”
I tried to say something. All I could get out was a garbled squeak.
“Can you believe it?” Janice asked. “I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you need to get on that right away.”
“It... it must be some other Rachel,” I managed.
“Yeah right. Don’t try and deny it’s you. I saw the two of you together—you even told me you sang Karaoke for him!” She squealed again. “This is so exciting! My best friend is dating a billionaire!”
I smiled tightly. “We’re not dating, Janice. That’s exactly the problem.”
“Well he obviously wants you to.”
“I broke things off.”
There was disbelieving silence. Then: “Why the hell would you do that!”
“It’s complicated.”
“Obviously it’s not. He likes you so much he put out a commercial about his feelings on every single TV station in existence.”
I bit my lip, a small smile creeping to my lips. He had, hadn’t he? He must really like me. But I forced myself to be stern. “There are things he doesn’t know, Janice.”
“Are you talking about Dan?” she asked. “Screw Dan. Dan can take his cheating ass and shove my boot so far up-”
I laughed. “It’s not about Dan. At least, there’s more than that, too.”
“Then what, Rachel? I saw the look you gave each other, that night in the bar. You were meant to be together.”
“Janice, I’m pregnant,” I blurted.
Silence, from the other end of the line. Then: “To Dan?”
“Yes.”
“I see. Is he around?”
“No. He walked out two days ago. When I told him the news.”
“Want me to come over?”
“Is it okay if I just... have a bit of time to myself right now? I think I need to call Chase, tell him why I left.”
“I see. You weren’t kidding when you said it was complicated, were you?”
My laugh had a quaver to it. “Trust me to ruin things this bad, right?”
“Oh honey, you haven’t ruined anything. When love’s strong enough, it finds a way.”
“I really wish I could believe that.”
“You have to. Does Chase know?”
I shook my head, before remembering she couldn’t see me. “No. I didn’t want to tell him.”
“Don’t you think you should?” she asked quietly. “Whatever happens, he deserves to know.”
I closed my eyes. “You’re right, of course. It’s just, what if he hates me?”
“He won’t.”
Janice was confident, but I wasn’t so sure.
“Want me to come with you?” she asked.
I considered the offer briefly. “No. I can do this on my own. I’m learning how to be strong, now, Janice. For the baby.”
“Okay. Call me when it’s over?”
“Will do.”
I did a little more channel flipping once I was off the phone to Janice. Sure enough, I saw the commercial five more times before I was done. I couldn’t believe it, still. I placed my hands over my belly. “See that, baby? Well, I know you can’t see it,” I said. “But believe me, it’s amazing. I hope this can be an example to you, that there’s this kind of love out there. I’m just sorry it’s misplaced. But maybe one day, things will work out better for you.”
Once he knew what had happened, Chase would feel like a goof. Like I had tricked him. Sure, the media would forget all about this in time... but he wouldn’t forget how I’d betrayed him. And he wouldn’t want me once he knew about the baby. He didn’t want a baby.
A news channel mentioned my name again. “Who Is Rachel?” Why did people care so much about this? I guessed it was just one of those things which captured the imagination. There was romance to it—a Cinderella story, only with a commercial instead of a glass slipper.
I sighed. Well, I couldn’t leave him hanging. I had to go and see him. This had to end the right way—not with a phone call, but with a face-to-face discussion. I had to be as strong as I’d been when I faced Dan. And it would be good practice for being strong as a mother to this baby.
My heart was breaking, but it had to be done.
Chapter 6
He won’t want me. Kids aren’t an option. He won’t want me. Kids aren’t an option.
These words kept running on repeat through my head as I rode to Chase’s in a cab. The driver was listening to the radio, and in yet another example of the universe laughing at me, guess who the subject of the conversation was?
“Who is Rachel?” I heard the announcer ask, voice full of mystery. “I’m betting there are women throughout Manhattan wishing they could change their name right now! And if your name’s already Rachel... is it you? Rachel, if you’re listening, give us a call!”
I shook my head with a smile. Would I ever have imagined I could be the subject of so much curiosity? Even if the people paying attention didn’t know who I actually was? For once, anonymity suited me just fine. I didn’t need to be famous. I was glad to fly under the radar in this cab.
Just wait until he finds out, the nasty voice in my head reminded me. He won’t want you anymore. That was much too easy to believe—in fact, I still couldn’t understand why he’d wanted me in the first place. He could have made that commercial about anyone in the world, but he’d chosen me. Why?
When we pulled up in front of the familiar brownstone, I sat in the cab for long enough that the driver asked me if I was okay. I nodded, then stepped out reluctantly. It wasn’t a question of whether he’d take me back—that bridge had long been burned, and it wasn’t why I was here.
No, I was here because Chase had treated me with such kindness, such respect, that he deserved to know the truth. But it was also why my hands were trembling as I climbed each slow step to his brownstone. I was so scared of losing that respect. So afraid that when I told him the truth, that look in his eye—that look that said I couldn’t be any more perfect if I tried—would fade, to be replaced by disappointment—or worse, disdain.
At the door, I paused. I could hear faint music through the timber, which meant he was home. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t strong enough. Just like on the phone, when faced with the option of hanging up and preserving my image, or telling the truth and ruining it, I just wanted to walk away.
I hovered, uncertain, and then my shoulders slumped; the hand that should have been knocking fell to my side. I couldn’t do it.
But then the door opened. And anything I should have said, or didn’t say, flew out the window as Chase pulled me inside the house and wrapped his arms around me.
* * *
[music]
“Rachel!” His hug was so tight, his face buried in my hair, that it was almost suffocating. “I didn’t think you would come.”
It felt good. “I almost didn’t,” I admitted with a smile when I could breathe. I grinned sheepishly. “I was about to walk away.”
It felt so right, being in his arms. Like I’d come home. How could someone I’d known for such a short amount of time have such an effect on me? It didn’t seem possible—yet here I was, wanting to stay in his arms, forever.
“I didn’t go too far, did I?” Chase asked. “With the whole public TV thing?”
It was such an unexpected question that I burst out laughing. “As opposed to what? A parade down Fifth Avenue?” I held up both hands as a gleam entered his eyes. “No, forget I said that—I don’t want to give you any ideas.”
I noticed the music for the first time. “That’s the music from the commercial, isn’t it?”
He grinned sheepishly. “Love Is All You Need. I might have put it on repeat.” A hand went to his hair. “After creating the ad, it made me think of you when I played it, so I kept it going.”
Was he blushing? He just made me want to bite my lip and grin! I looked at this sweet, sweet, man before me. “Chase, I’m honored.” I pulled away, looking at him at arm’s length. “Really. I can’t believe you would go that far for me. And who the heck made it go viral? I mean, honestly.”
“Yeah, that surprised me as well,” he admitted. “I thought for sure you would lose it when you saw how the whole thing had blown up.”
“I almost did,” I said. “But I know it came from the right place. And there’s something about being the subject of so much mystery, you know? Like... if they only knew.” I giggled.
We shared a smile. He pulled me into a hug again. “I’m just so glad you’re here. I really am.”
“Chase...” I had to cut this off before he went too far into emotional things. “There’s something I have to tell you...”
His hands were running through my hair. They felt so good. “Chase...”
“It doesn’t matter now,” he whispered. “We can talk later. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.”
Oh but it did.
He was kissing my neck, my ears. “Chase, we need to slow down. We need to talk.” Oh God, I didn’t want to talk at all. One more time together, that’s all I wanted. To feel loved once more, in his arms, before he pushed me away.
My lips parted in a hot excited breath. I couldn’t help it, he smelled so good. “Chase. Please.”
“You’re here. That’s all that matters.”
He kissed me. I broke away from him.
I opened my mouth to speak. He placed a finger against it.
“Do you feel the same way I do?” he whispered.
I nodded, tears in my eyes.
“Then we can talk, after.”
The thing was, he was touching my face, my hair, my t
hroat. My resolve was melting faster than an ice cream cone in the middle of summer.
I wanted him. And he loved me. I hadn’t felt joy like this since the last time we were together. I didn’t know when I would feel it again, once I walked out of here.
I just wanted a little more of him. One more time. Was that so bad? I’d have to rely on this memory for the rest of my life.
When he kissed me, I didn’t pull away. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him tight. Once I told him the truth, it would be over. But for now, in his arms, I could forget all of that.
His hands slid around my waist, his fingers running gently up and down my back. Even through a sweater I felt the electricity of his touch. And it felt even more amazing when his fingers slid beneath it. He was rain on a desert’s sands; stars on a stormy night.
He backed me into the stairs, wanting to lead me to the bedroom, I guessed. Only we never made it. We wound up collapsing together on the stairs, still kissing.
I stretched my arms over my head, allowing Chase to remove my sweater. His face was buried in my chest. I held him close, reveling in the feel of him and the way his mouth set me on fire. I would never feel this way again. Never would a man worship me physically the way he did. I was sure of it.
I pushed that thought out of my head. Chase’s mouth had moved up my chest, to my throat; his lips hotter even than my overheated skin. When I threw my head back and moaned, he moved against me in response.
His hands slid my bra straps down my arms, his mouth now working its way from one shoulder to the other. I arched my back when his tongue sailed across my skin, unhooking the bra. I crossed my arms over myself, lowering the cups away from my chest.
He devoured me, hungrily. I loved the way he worshiped my body. The power washed over me again, the reminder of how eager and impassioned he became at the sight of me. He took my breasts in his hands, licking from one to the other and back again.
I reached down, running my hands over his back. I needed to touch him—to drink him in, as much as I could while there was still time to do it. I pulled his shirt out of his waistband; he quickly removed it and tossed it aside. He was so firm, fit, his muscles moving beneath my hands. I went from the bottom of his back to his neck and down again, then slid my hands under his waistband to fondle his backside. He growled, and I felt myself respond with a growing warmth between my legs.