by Emma Hart
“Barbie gave birth, then.” Leo opened the Doritos and stuck his hand in. “Stupid name for a hedgehog.”
“Thank you,” Ava muttered. “I don’t even like them, and now I have ten.”
“It could be worse. You could be Halley,” I offered.
“Is she throwing up into her hair every day?” she shot back.
“Unless she’s part of your experiment,” Leo started. “No. But she does have Boris Jr. living on a cat tower in her utility room, remember?”
Ah. Of course. Boris had, once again, knocked up Betty, and earlier this year, one of the babies had almost died. Halley had taken the runt of the litter in and nursed him through until he was healthy enough to go back to Betty, but he’d refused.
Then he’d humped Preston’s shoe.
Thus the name Boris Jr. It now refused to live outside and had his very own cat tower, where he fought for dominance with the actual cat they’d adopted a few months ago.
They were thisclose to opening their own Facebook profile.
I kind of wanted them to.
“Mmph.” Ava snatched the chips away from her brother. “Get the fuck off my Doritos.”
Leo shot me a look.
I nodded, eyes wide. “Listen to her, man. They’re stashed everywhere.”
She froze. “Actually, no. I ate them all. I need more.”
“Weren’t you throwing up two hours ago?”
“Weren’t you just telling me how much you love me, and you’re going to get me Doritos whenever I want since this is your fault?”
“Technically, you’re fifty percent responsible.”
“Technically, Leo is the one who made us live together, and we agreed that everything that happened was his fault.”
She wasn’t wrong there.
Leo motioned toward the door. “Yeah. I, er, I’ve got a date, so…”
Ava grinned, orange Dorito coating her lips. “That’s what I thought.”
“Love you, sis.” Leo blew an awkward kiss in her direction, and she responded by shoving her middle finger in his direction. He laughed and left as quickly as he’d arrived.
I waited for a second before I said, “So… I should get you more Doritos now.”
She looked up at me, her bright eyes shining wide, and shook her head.
“Candy? Chocolate? Ice cream? Pickles?” I paused. “Don’t pregnant people like pickles dipped in random shit?”
Her bottom lip stuck out. “Can I have a cuddle?”
My heart squeezed tightly. I didn’t even answer her. I just crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me.
“I’ll cuddle you for however long you want, whenever you want. Even if your hair smells a bit like vomit and you’re covered in Dorito dust.” I kissed the top of her head.
She shook silently.
“Are you crying?”
“No.” She was laughing. She was fucking laughing. “This is just…weird. Don’t you think?”
“The fact you threw up in your hair and didn’t shower? More gross than weird.”
“Oh, my God. You dick.”
“My dick got us into this situation, sunshine. It ain’t getting us out of it.”
She squeezed my waist hard. “No. Like, everything. We just bought a house and we’re having a baby. Reagan and Halley are both engaged, and Halley’s getting married in three weeks.”
“Reagan is eloping if you believe what she says.”
“Only because Bethel keeps crashing Halley’s fittings, and she’s shitting herself.” She paused. “I’m going to be too fat for a bridesmaid dress soon.”
“Okay, listen to me.” I pulled back and leaned down, framing her face with my hands. “Reagan and Noah are getting married in eighteen months. The baby will be here, and you will be beautiful. You will be beautiful every single day between now and then, you hear me? Even when you’re nine months pregnant or you think you’re horrible or your hair has someone else’s vomit in it instead of your own, I will not think you are anything less than absolutely beautiful.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Keep talking. I like that.”
I smiled, perching on the stool next to her so I was on her level. “I love you, Ava. I’ve loved you for so long, and I will love you in another twenty years. Okay? And in twenty years, when we have a soccer team and fifty hedgehogs living in the corner of our garage, I’ll love you even more than I do right now. All right?”
“All right,” she sobbed. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I laughed, pulling her into my body once more. “You’re so silly.”
“I know.” She sniffed, wiping her nose on my shirt and leaving a trail of boogers there.
“Thanks.”
“Get used to it,” she muttered. “It’ll be a trail of urine before you know it.”
“Not yours, I hope.”
“Cannot guarantee it.” She wiped at her cheeks. “I love you, Ethan.”
“I know you do, sunshine.” I kissed her temple.
“Good. Now please buy me some fucking Doritos.”
COMING SOON
FRENEMIES, a wildly hilarious SINGLE DAD romcom! Coming January 21st and available for pre-order on all retailers now!!
~
There are some things you just have to deal with.
Like your hot as hell college booty call moving in next door with his adorable daughter.
The only time we’ve ever gotten along is under the sheets. Old habits die hard because two minutes on my front porch is how long it takes us to bicker.
Not that a little fact like that bothers my healthy, eighty-year-old grandmother and roommate who’s determined to see me married before she bites the dust.
Unfortunately for me, she’s got her eye set on Cameron Black.
She’s barking up the wrong tree. He’s not The One, no matter how much I swoon when I see him with his daughter. I have no intentions of rekindling anything with him—until a rubber spider in my mailbox starts off the mother of all neighborhood prank wars, just like the ones we had in college, and throws me right into his path.
One that leads right to his bedroom…
VISIT www.emmahart.net/frenemies to order!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Emma Hart is the New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author of over thirty novels and has been translated into several different languages.
She is a mother, wife, lover of wine, Pink Goddess, and valiant rescuer of wild baby hedgehogs.
Emma prides herself on her realistic, snarky smut, with comebacks that would make a PMS-ing teenage girl proud.
Yes, really. She’s that sarcastic.
You can find her online at:
www.emmahart.org
www.facebook.com/emmahartbooks
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www.pinterest.com/authoremmahart
Alternatively, you can join her reader group at Emma Harts Hartbreakers.
You can also get all things Emma to your email inbox by signing up for Emma Alerts*
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BOOKS BY EMMA HART
Standalones:
Being Brooke
Catching Carly
Casanova
Mixed Up
Miss Fix-It
Miss Mechanic
The Upside to Being Single
The Hook-Up Experiment
The Dating Experiment
Four Day Fling
Best Served Cold
Tequila Tequila
Catastrophe Queen
The Roommate Agreement
The Accidental Girlfriend
Kiss Me Not
The Vegas Nights series:
Sin
Lust
Stripped series:
Stripped Bare
Stripped Down
The Burke Brothers:
Dirty Secret
Dirty Past
Dirty Lies
Dirty Tricks
Dirty Little Rendezvous
The Holly Woods Files:
Twisted Bond
Tangled Bond
Tethered Bond
Tied Bond
Twirled Bond
Burning Bond
Twined Bond
Tricky Bond
By His Game series:
Blindsided
Sidelined
Intercepted
Call series:
Late Call
Final Call
His Call
Wild series:
Wild Attraction
Wild Temptation
Wild Addiction
Wild: The Complete Series
The Game series:
The Love Game
Playing for Keeps
The Right Moves
Worth the Risk
Memories series:
Never Forget
Always Remember