by Erin Havoc
Running my hands down his arms, I groan in frustration at the suit separating us. I try to feel his chest beneath the damn thing but it’s impossible. Magnus’s fingers dig into the flesh of my backside as he licks along the shell of my ear.
“Eager about taking my clothes off, love?”
I grunt to the endearment. That is a word he shouldn’t utter for me. “A little. I want to touch you.”
Magnus kisses his way down my neck, slowly, tasting every inch of my skin with his lips. Finally, he reaches my still-unexplored chest and buries his face between the mounds. My nipples brush against the dress, and I move, seeking some relief from that exquisite pain. I rake my nails up his back then scrape along his hairline.
“I’m not fucking you in a storage unit. Not when I can’t properly see you, love.”
“Don’t call me that,” I cut him off, my voice rasping.
Someone knocks on the door right behind us and I jump out of my skin. My heart climbing my throat, I squirm until Magnus puts me down. He says nothing else.
A sugared voice calls from the other side. “It’s me, Karen dear! The cops are here!”
Without a second thought, I turn from Magnus and clutch the doorknob. His fingers come up around my elbow as I open the door and light bathes his features. His golden eyes shift and I can tell there’s something like desolation across his face.
He opens his mouth and shuts it. Then again. Finally, he shakes his head, a smile tipping his lips. “Let’s get you somewhere safe.”
And though I know the only place I want to be is with him, I nod and we exit the storage. We find the cops and they update us, explaining they’ve already sent Jason ahead to a hospital and that Magnus should press charges. They haven’t arrested the suspect yet, but are on it. Magnus nods them on, and they urge us to get somewhere safe as soon as possible.
I call an Uber. We sit side by side, his arm brushing mine. Anyone could see us together. Could assume we’re together.
But something feels broken between us.
8
MAGNUS
Finding my mate has always been something on the back of my mind. Ever present. Something every shifter desires and dreams about.
I thought we’d meet, the two of us would recognize each other, and we’d get together. Happily ever after. Easy like that.
But that’s not what happens between Karen and me. I know she’s my mate. I can feel the connection, the tug towards her. But apart from a physical attraction, she doesn’t answer it. It doesn’t look like she’s on the same wavelength as I am. And that added to the fact there are people out there trying to kill me... People who could get her hurt?
My heart shatters, but I know I shouldn’t stay close to her. Not now, at least.
“I put my house’s address,” Karen says in a tiny voice. “So we can think of the next move. Or where you could go to.”
Truly, I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know where I should go. For sure, I want to go after Jason in the hospital and verify he’s fine, but I’m certain he’d kill me for putting myself in danger like that, in such an obvious place. Natalie and Karen’s office is the same story. And I’m not forcing my presence on Karen any longer.
Even if my very soul calls for her. I know when to back off.
Swallowing, I shoot her a glance. “You sure?”
Karen nods and says nothing more. We turn in a narrow street and drive away from that neighborhood. From the one moment I had my girl between my hands and had to let her go. Karen drops her attention to her phone, and types away as we ride in silence.
It takes us almost fifteen minutes to park in front of a three-story building. We thank the driver and slide out of the car. I follow Karen into the main entrance as she digs into her purse for her keys.
“The incident’s already all over the news. Nat’s almost having a stroke.” She chuckles under her breath as she holds the door open for me. We climb the stairs to the second floor and Karen unlocks her apartment. “I’ve already let her know we’re fine.”
Her sweet scent slams into me with ridiculous force. The place is covered in it. I take deep breaths as she lets me in. There’s so much light soaking every surface, the large windows letting the afternoon sun in. My eyes widening, I look around, capturing every inch and analyzing it, forcing my memory to remember this moment. I want to see the picture frames and study the decorations and press my nose to her pillows and capture her smell.
This place describes her. It has the imprint of her soul and I want to absorb every inch of every surface while I have the chance. While I’m allowed next to her.
“Would you like something to drink?” She offers as the door shuts behind her. Her eyes don’t meet mine as she leaves her purse over the sideboard and strides into the kitchen. I follow her, studying the colorful pans and a shelf filled with mugs.
“I’m good,” I say with adoration in my voice as I eye her collection. There are several with cat prints and it makes my panther purr inside me. It gives me a bit of hope.
Something brushes along my calves and I shuffle to look down. A tabby cat sniffles at my shoes then purrs as she rubs herself against me.
Karen gasps. “No, Trudy, you’ll cover his pants in fur!” She jumps to capture the cat between her hands, bringing it up to her chest.
“It’s all right,” I repeat, stretching an arm to scratch under Trudy’s chin. “I don’t mind.”
Karen twists the corner of her mouth as she meets my gaze. “She’s not a people person. I’m surprised she likes you.”
Trudy acquiesces with louder purrs. I grin. “Cats stick together.”
Karen’s lips form an O and she chuckles. “So I got it right? You’re some kind of big cat?”
I nod. “You got it a hundred percent right. I am a black panther.”
She’s smiling at me, but in a heartbeat, her face is guarded once more. “I’ve emailed Callie, letting her know what happened and how to contact me. As soon as she reads the message, I’m sure someone will come to pick you up.”
Karen strides back into the living room with Trudy and I follow her to the couch. The cat escapes her embrace to sit over my lap. An arm over the back of the couch, I turn to study Karen’s gorgeous features. My heart calls for her. Leaning closer, I capture a lock of her smooth hair between my fingers, feeling the softness between my digits.
Her breathing picks up though she looks away. “You know, about what happened in the storage,” she starts, her voice breaking.
I shift to face her. “I hope I haven’t offended you.”
She shakes her head. “That’s not it.” Her cheeks flush as she gawks at Trudy. “You see, I... I wouldn’t usually mind a fling. Not that I’m saying you wanted a fling. But I wouldn’t mind.” She grunts in frustration, curling her hands in fists. “But I don’t think it would work.”
I blink at her. “It wouldn’t work? A fling?”
She nods, her hair escaping my fingers. “I... I really like you, Magnus. And I don’t think a fling would work.” She releases a painful sigh, making my heart squeeze. “I disagreed with the fake date idea at first because of that. Because I think it would break my heart.”
I press my lips together, my hands itching to touch her. Cradle her. Bring her to my chest and tell her everything. How I never thought about having a fling with her. How I just want to mate her and live the rest of our lives together.
“I understand.” The words leave my mouth in a firm voice, though my throat’s threatening to collapse. The need to keep her safe tramples everything else, and I can’t bear the idea of her hurting because of me. So even if it pains me, I should keep the mate thing to myself. Fix it later. “I understand,” I repeat, mechanically.
Karen releases a huge breath, nodding. Silence settles as I feel her distancing from me. Her heart turning from me, my chances lessening. Her phone buzzes a moment later, as I feel my panther start to rebel.
He’s not taking this rejection lightly.
“Karen here,” she salutes as she picks up the call. Her eyes dart to me, then away before she nods. “Yes, yes. He’s here with me. I’m passing him the phone.” She offers me the device. “Callie.”
As I accept it, she strides to another part of the house. I watch her go, my panther thrashing inside me, robbing me of all air. A raw sense of loss settles, and I feel my throat collapsing on itself. My panther lashes out at me, roaring, ordering me to go after her.
But he doesn’t understand. I need to keep her safe.
With tears stinging the back of my eyes, I take a deep breath in. Schooling my best senator face, I press the phone to my ear. “Callie?”
“Thank the heavens, Magnus! I was worried sick!”
“Everything is all right. As soon as the shooting began, Karen took control of the situation and we slipped out.”
“Really?” Callie laughs. “What a bad-ass! I’m so glad she was with you.”
“Did anyone get hurt besides Jason? Do you know how he is?”
“Both your bodyguards. No one else got hurt, thank God. Jason’s stable. It was just a flesh wound, but he couldn’t pursue the man. Your extra bodyguard was taken by surprise and attacked. The cops found him unconscious inside the bathroom. Plus, the coffee shop is busted.”
“I’m reaching out to them as soon as possible so I can fix the damage.”
She tuts. “You don’t need to do that, you know? They have insurance.”
“But I’ll contact them, anyway. You said the extra bodyguard also got hurt? Who the hell was this attacker?”
“Someone who can surprise a shifter? I don’t know, Magnus, but I’d say another shifter. Definitely, someone who preferred to keep the shifter thing a secret.” She hums into the line. “Is everything really fine? You sound off.”
I clear my throat. “Just digesting what happened. Are you sending a car?”
“Yeah,” Callie answers with doubt on her voice. It sucks when your friends know you too well. “Karen sent me her address. I’m sending a car and two new bodyguards. I guess you’ll want to visit Jason as soon as possible, but I’m going to ask you to lie low until this guy is arrested. Let’s hope it’s soon enough. The car must be there in thirty minutes.”
“All right.” My chest grows heavy with the perspective of leaving Karen. Of not seeing her anytime soon.
“I won’t ask again, but I’m sure there’s something else you’re not telling me. Let me know if you need anything, Magnus. Anything.”
I chuckle into the phone. “Will do.”
Karen walks back moments later and I reach her phone for her. “So, are they taking long?”
God, she knows how to break me. “Thirty minutes.”
She fidgets. “Would you like an espresso? I’m surely needing one and I don’t think you finished yours earlier.”
I nod, tilting the side of my lip up. Bringing Trudy along, brushing her fur, I follow Karen into the kitchen again. My heart aches so hard I have to keep looking away from her. The pain is ridiculous. It breaks me as I watch her preparing the coffee. The way her hair sways, how her dress drapes over her body. Her nimble fingers as she picks cups.
Everything about her is perfect. Everything. I want to commit it all to memory and forget it at the same time.
I want her. God, I want her so much.
Her phone buzzes over the counter and she swipes down the notifications. I’m still watching her movements in silence as she unlocks the screen with raised brows.
“Everything okay?” I ask as she abandons the coffee to pick her phone up. She clicks on something.
“I’ve been matched,” her voice leaves her weakly. Half-broken. My heartbeat picks up as I pause Trudy to the ground. My chest inflates. Karen presses a thumb to a button in the middle of the screen and her brows come down the bridge of her nose. Her jaw slackens as she turns to me. “You’re my mate?”
Torn. I have never been so torn in my life.
9
KAREN
Magnus is my mate.
My perfect match. A hundred percent compatibility.
Scenes throughout the day we spent together clash in my mind as they come back to me. The way he seemed to enjoy my smell. How he was always brushing his arm against mine.
The kiss.
The way that kiss made me feel. God, my knees still quiver thinking about that. About the heat, and the completion. And that tug inside me. That need to be with him, to touch him. To fold my body to his until we were one.
Everything makes sense now. A smile threatens to spill over my lips, to stretch my mouth, to brighten my complexion.
But Magnus’s face is somber. Drawn. His brows pinch down over his nose, and he presses his full, delicious lips together. That’s not the face I expected to see on my mate when we met. My heart lurches, and fear clogs my veins.
“Why?” The word escapes my throat with a pathetic whimper. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Magnus’s eyes widen as his gaze explores my face, studies, analyzes. He’s a politician. He’s worked his entire life with defending ideas and projects. So I wait for him to defend himself. To explain why in the world didn’t he say a thing when we were together. When we kissed.
He’s supposed to know, isn’t he? Shifters are supposed to feel their mates.
Or are we broken? So wrong that he didn’t know it at all?
Magnus shakes his head, his hand brushing over his buzz-cut. He releases a deep breath between his teeth and looks away. “I don’t want you any more involved in this, Karen.”
“In what?”
“Me.” His gaze snaps back, a warning across his face. “Involved with me.”
His words pierce me like knives. I swear I can feel the pain of them. Pressing a hand to my chest, I stumble back, my lip curling with the agony.
“I know I’m not a model or anything,” I spit at him as I back inside the kitchen. “I’m not particularly smart or rich, but I thought mates were supposed to love each other above everything else?”
Magnus reaches out, shaking his head. I pull my arms back, away from his touch.
“Karen, please.” His voice reflects the feelings across his face. The sharp pain in my chest is mirrored on his expression as he curls and uncurls his fingers, wanting to reach for me and not daring to. “You saw what happened today. They tried to kill me, and they didn’t care there were several people around. They shot Jason, and they could have shot you!”
“Oh, and because of that, you’re willing to abandon your mate?” My stomach grows heavy and I regret having had that mocha. It’s not sitting well now. “I thought you were being friendly and flirty because of the fake date thing, and in the end... Did you know? From the beginning?”
“That you were my mate?” His shoulders drop in defeat. “From the moment I walked into the restaurant. I never cared for the fake date thing. But since you seemed to lean into it, I grasped at any chance I had to be close to you.”
“Couldn’t you just have told me?”
“I thought a more proper moment would arise.” He breathes out, taking a step closer. I move backward but my hips hit the kitchen sink. “I didn’t feel like telling you that in the middle of a business meeting. Even more if I couldn’t prove it to you. You would only think I was using the fake date.”
He’s right. I probably would. “So you were bidding your time to tell me. All right. But we kissed back in the storage. You could’ve told me then.”
Magnus shakes his head, locking his jaw. “Karen,” he calls my name in this whispery tone, making it sound like a prayer. Magnus takes another step, his body hovering inches from mine. I feel his heat against me, and my eyes flutter shut as his hands come up to cradle my face. Gently. As if I’m a fantasy about to poof into dust. “It may not look like it, but I’m terrified.”
Opening my eyes, I roam my gaze over his handsome face. He looks at me with the utmost care and undeniable affection, but there’s something like regret on the corner of his eyes. “Terrified? Of
what?”
“Of them hurting you,” he murmurs against my mouth, his breath coating my tongue. “I don’t know what I would do to myself if you were ever hurt for being next to me. If you were ever a victim of their hatred.” He tremors as my hands come up around his hips. “I would never forgive myself. Never.”
The word sounds like a promise. An excruciating promise that tells of how dark his days would be if that came to happen.
And, in my heart, I know I’m in danger. We could have more days like today. More days of people shooting at us, and having to run and hide to protect ourselves. Days where we don’t always see the danger coming. One of us might die because of the views Magnus so vocally defends.
And yet, I do not care. Not even a little bit.
My heart sings for him, calls for his embrace. My body aches for his touch, his care, his kisses. His kisses.
Life would be painful without him. I would be more unhappy without him than with him and running into danger. There’s something magnetic between us. This pull. It’s unstoppable. Natural as the rising and the setting of the sun.
I think Magnus reads it across my face as the decision rises in my chest. With a sharp intake of breath, I feel him stiffening his spine for whatever I am about to say.
A smile playing across my lips, I pull him closer until our bodies touch. His erection’s there, even if we’re having the most anti-climatic conversation ever. “I want it anyway.”
He pants. “What?”
“I want you anyway.” I tilt my chin up to make my point. “One, I can defend myself. You saw it. I’m good at escaping. Two, I’m pretty sure your security agency will double their efforts after what happened today. Three.” I shake my head, clutching his shirt beneath the suit. “You’re my mate. I feel it too. This tug towards you. I think I’ve always felt it, but never quite understood what it meant. And I don’t care about the rest of the world. I want you. With or without the dangers. Because that’s what being your mate means.”