by Sherri Hayes
Embarrassment at how well her sister knew her had heat rising in her cheeks. “I had to put a load in the washer before I left. It took longer than I expected.” She didn’t mention that the reason it took her so long was because she’d been distracted.
Gabby wrenched open the door and shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”
It wasn’t as if her sister hadn’t made her thoughts on the subject crystal clear. If Gabby had her way, Grace would be spending her nights being ravished by Alexander.
She opened her mouth to tell her sister she just wasn’t ready, like she had in the past, but the words died in her throat. A thought began to form, one she really needed to think through and not when her sister and mother were close by, so she put on the best smile she could manage and headed inside. Her sister followed, not appearing to be bothered at all by Grace’s lack of acknowledgement.
“There you are,” her mother said the moment they crossed the threshold into the kitchen. “I was beginning to think we’d have to send out a search party.”
Grace crossed the room and gave her mom a hug, making sure to sidestep the spoon in her hand. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Why don’t you grab some glasses from the sink and take them to the table? Everything’s almost ready,” Caroline said.
While Grace gathered the glasses, her sister began carrying food to the table.
“Taylor with her dad this weekend?” Grace asked when she didn’t see her niece.
“Yeah.” Gabby twisted to the side, getting out of the way of the hot plate their mother was carrying. “Jax called Friday night. His folks came down for the weekend and wanted to spend some time with her.” She shrugged. “I couldn’t say no.”
Grace filled their glasses with the iced tea their mom had made, and then sat down. “I’m sure they appreciate it.”
“I have no doubt she’ll come home with at least a half dozen new toys.”
“Less you have to buy,” their mother pointed out. “Besides, it’s a grandparent’s right to spoil their grandchildren.”
Both Grace and Gabby rolled their eyes. Most of the toys Taylor owned had come from Caroline.
After that the conversation turned to Caroline’s impending retirement. She’d found the paperwork she needed. All that was left was for the date that was circled on her calendar to get there.
“Any idea what you’re going to do with all your new free time?” Gabby asked.
“I was thinking of doing some volunteering.”
The conversation took off from there with Gabby and her mother sharing different ideas on where Caroline could volunteer. Grace was only half listening. Every now and then she’d contribute to the conversation, but for the most part, she sat quietly and let Gabby and her mom talk. Grace had too many other things on her mind. Besides, the last thing she wanted was for her sister to bring up Alexander in front of their mother. As far as Grace knew, Caroline didn’t know about him, and at the moment Grace wasn’t up to answering questions.
After spending most of the afternoon with her mom and sister, Grace drove home. She glanced at the clock when she walked into the kitchen. It was still early. Plenty of time to follow through with what had been rattling around in her mind the entire time she was at her mom’s.
But could she do it? Should she?
Grace chewed on the end of her thumb as she stared at her purse like it held some sort of great wisdom. It didn’t, of course. This was a decision she had to make for herself.
“What should I do?” she asked the empty room.
As she stood there, Grace realized she really did want an answer and the person she wanted the answer from was Alexander. She was in a place where she didn’t know which way to turn.
More than anything, the way she was feeling in that moment, the desire for his guidance, was what compelled her to move her feet. She found her cell and scrolled until she saw his name pop up on her screen.
Seconds ticked by as Grace waited for him to pick up.
“Grace?”
“Hi. I was wondering—” She swallowed. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner tonight.”
There was a long pause. “What time?”
Her mind went blank for a second. “Seven?”
“I’ll see you at seven, then.”
Grace hung up the phone and clutched it to her chest. Even though she was nervous, she was also certain she was doing the right thing. All she could do was hope that Alexander agreed.
***
Alexander pulled up in front of Grace’s house at six fifty-six. The porch light was on, welcoming him, even though sunset was still almost an hour away. He took his time getting out of his vehicle, even though his leg wasn’t bothering him tonight, and made his way up the walkway. It had been almost forty-eight hours since he’d watched Grace scurry out of Serpent’s Kiss. To say he was anxious to hear what she had to say was a vast understatement.
He rang the doorbell and within seconds she was there, framed in the doorway. She looked small and unsure of herself. Over the last month he’d seen her begin to come out of her shell, some of her shyness melting away. However, the more lighthearted Grace he’d gotten to know was nowhere to be seen.
“Good evening, Grace.”
“Hi.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and took a step back, inviting him inside. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
Alexander stood off to the side as she closed and locked the door, before following her into the kitchen. This was her show, and as tempting as it was for him to demand answers, he was going to wait her out.
She busied herself with finishing dinner but every now and then he caught her shooting glances in his direction. When she finally did join him at the table, she kept her gaze on her plate. She didn’t make a move to start eating, so neither did he.
“Aren’t you hungry?” she asked in a shaky voice.
“I am.” He paused before reaching for the serving spoon she’d placed on the table and handing it to her.
“I’m not sure if I can eat.”
He didn’t budge. “You invited me to dinner.”
There was a moment’s hesitation before she took the spoon and scooped some of the casserole onto her plate. He waited until she was done before getting his. The meal was awkward. She picked at her food more than she ate it. The temptation to order her to eat was strong, but he bit back the urge.
Her fork slipping from her fingers and clattering onto her plate drew his attention.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Alexander wiped his mouth with his napkin and placed it next to his plate before speaking. “What are you sorry for?”
She released a loud breath and for a second he thought maybe she was crying, but then she looked up to meet his gaze. “I told you I wasn’t ready, and then I went to the club.”
He waited for her to continue.
“I didn’t lie. I still wasn’t sure I was ready, but . . .” She looked down at her lap. “I told you about Kurt’s letter. About how he wants me to move on.” When he didn’t respond, she glanced up. “You’ve probably guessed that Kurt and I . . . we . . . he was my Master.”
Alexander had suspected as much after seeing the necklace she wore the first time they met, but hearing her say it out loud had him putting what she hadn’t said into perspective. “When he said he wanted you to move on, he didn’t just mean for you to start dating again, did he?”
She shook her head. “No.”
It made sense. Kurt would want his sub’s needs to be taken care of. “So you were at Serpent’s Kiss to find a Dom.”
“Yes.”
He was still digesting this new information when she slid to the floor, kneeling next to his chair. She placed her hands on her thighs, palms up. He knew that pose. Knew what it meant.
Placing a finger under her chin, Alexander made her look at him. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking her to explain herself.
“I would like for you to be my Dom, Sir.
” Her gaze didn’t waver.
As the moments ticked by, Alexander couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease her. “How do you know I’m a Dom? Maybe I’m a submissive.”
Grace’s eyes widened for a second before the look of panic in them faded. “I don’t think so, Sir.”
“Why’s that?”
She took her time thinking about her answer. “I guess it’s a lot of things. The way you carry yourself. The way you’ve looked after me, even when you didn’t have to.”
He dropped his hand and seriously considered her assertion. She wanted him to be her Dom. And if she’d gone to Serpent’s Kiss then she was probably looking for someone to play with. A part of him was screaming, “Yes!” But the more logical side of his brain wondered if that would be altogether smart. He was beginning to have feelings for her, and adding a power exchange relationship to the equation was only bound to enhance those feelings. He was opening himself up to heartache.
“Take a seat.” Seeing her kneeling before him wasn’t helping his brain function properly.
Grace stood and retook her seat next to him at the table.
The look on her face made him want to say fuck it and to hell with the consequences. He had to keep his wits about him, however. This wasn’t a time for being impulsive.
“Tell me what it is you want, Grace.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “Not what Kurt wanted. What you want.”
She didn’t answer right away. “When I read that Kurt wanted me to find a new Dom, I didn’t think I could do it. I wasn’t in a place mentally where I felt I could give that much of myself to anyone. I know what it takes to be a sub. Letting go and trusting. Giving up control.”
Her voice shook slightly, but there was determination behind it as well. She was braver than she was giving herself credit for.
“Then you started coaxing me out of my shell . . . getting me out of the house and back into the world.” The edges of her mouth rose in a small smile. “You gave me the confidence to believe that maybe I could do it. Contacting Mistress Katrina and going to Serpent’s Kiss was a test.”
“And what did you find out?” he asked.
“It made me realize Kurt was right. Being submissive is part of who I am and I can’t pretend it’s not just because he’s not here anymore.”
Alexander had to ask. “When you saw me you couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”
“I hadn’t expected to see anyone there I knew. And when I did, I panicked.” She met his gaze. “I didn’t know what to do, so I ran.”
What she said swirled around in his head. If he said no to being her Dom, there was a good chance she’d go back to Serpent’s Kiss and find another Dom who’d be more than willing to take her on. Grace was beautiful and she was an experienced submissive. He had no doubt someone would be happy to step up and fill that role. The thought turned his stomach.
“Are you sure, Grace? There’s no rush. You have time.”
“You don’t want to be my Dom?” An air of sadness came over her.
He placed his hand over hers, unable to resist touching her. “I didn’t say that.”
She looked down at their hands then back up at him. “I trust you, Alexander. If I’m going to do this, I want it to be with you.”
That simple assertion was what broke him. How could he say no? “We’ll need to go over your limits and what your expectations are.”
A look of pure, unadulterated relief crossed her face. He still had no idea how he was going to deal with his developing feelings for her, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.
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Chapter 9
Grace couldn’t articulate how grateful she felt that he’d agreed. “Thank you.”
One side of Alexander’s mouth quirked up in a half smile. “Maybe you should wait until we compare lists before you thank me.”
She chuckled.
“You never know. I might be a wicked sadist.” He wasn’t even trying to hide his grin.
This was the Alexander she’d gotten to know over the last month. The one that made her laugh and feel as if there was still life to be lived. “Maybe I’m a masochist.”
“Are you?” he asked, amusement lighting his eyes.
Grace considered fibbing for the sake of drawing out their back and forth, but thought better of it. Even if a spanking wouldn’t be an altogether bad thing. “Not really.”
He released her hand and sat back in his chair. “Had to think about that for a minute, did you?”
“No. But . . .”
When she didn’t continue, he leaned forward again. This time he didn’t touch her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t highly aware of him. She felt the dynamic shift even though they were still sitting at her kitchen table. “But what?”
She glanced down at her lap again, unable to look him in the eye as she admitted her thoughts. “It’s been a long time, and I considered fibbing a little so that maybe you’d realize I wasn’t being completely truthful and think I deserved a spanking.”
Alexander was quiet for so long that she tilted her head up to see his face. He appeared to be studying her.
“But I decided against it.” Her words died in her throat as he stood.
Without saying anything, Alexander held out his hand. She only hesitated for a second before placing her palm in his.
He led her into the living room, walked over to the couch, and sat down. After releasing her hand, he patted his leg twice.
Grace’s heart rate kicked up a notch. She knew what he wanted her to do. Knew what he wanted and she was unable to deny she wanted it, too.
On less than stable legs, she closed the distance between them and lowered herself so she was lying stomach down across his lap, her ass on display for him.
The feel of his hand on the curve of her back made her tense. Grace took a deep breath and tried to relax.
He gave her some time to settle in, not rushing anything. It gave her even more confidence that she was making the right decision.
“What’s your safeword?” he asked.
She hadn’t even thought about safewords. That’s how much she wasn’t thinking at the moment. This was a man she’d never played with. Of course there needed to be a safeword. Even for something as basic as an over-the-knee spanking. “Mushroom.”
His hand twitched and she wondered if he was grinning. “Mushroom?”
She nodded, or at least tried to, considering her position. “Kurt hated mushrooms.”
Alexander’s entire body vibrated before he ran his hand down over her backside. “Mushroom it is.”
Even though she was wearing pants she still felt the heat of his hand as he rubbed his palms over her ass. With every caress she relaxed more, giving herself up to the moment. Then with a quick flick of his wrist she felt the sting she’d been waiting for . . . longing for.
He landed another smack to her other cheek, then another and another. Heat spread from where his hand was making contact up her spine and throughout the rest of her body. It was almost as if something in her let go a little more with each blow he landed to her flesh. She felt settled. Grounded. As if things that hadn’t made sense for so long did in that moment.
It wasn’t until Alexander began stroking her back and whispering, “It’s okay. Let it out,” that Grace realized she was crying. And not quiet tears. No, these were loud, gut-wrenching sobs that seemed to come out of nowhere. Everything she’d been holding in was spilling out. She couldn’t have stopped it if she tried.
At some point she rolled over on her side, curling in toward him. Alexander helped her to sit up but didn’t let her go. He held her on his lap, continuing to comfort her as her tears subsided.
“Feel better?” he asked, brushing the hair away from her face.
Grace nodded. “I don’t know what that was.”
“Endorphins.”
She didn’t argue. She didn’t have the energy. All of a suddenly she felt v
ery tired. Her lack of sleep over the past two days was catching up with her.
“Tired?”
“Yeah. I didn’t sleep very well the last couple of nights.”
He helped her to sit up and wiped the moisture from her cheeks with his thumbs. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get ready for bed? I’ll clean up down here.”
Grace didn’t want to move, but she knew he was right. As appealing as the thought was, she couldn’t stay in his lap all night.
Alexander stayed on the couch as she made her way out of the room and up the stairs to her bedroom. As she changed her clothes, Grace could hear him moving around downstairs. It should be her doing the dishes and putting things away, but when he’d suggested she get ready for bed it hadn’t even crossed her mind to protest. She was too tired. Just keeping her eyes open was a challenge.
Once she was changed, she debated whether or not to go downstairs or crawl into bed. The latter was tempting, but somehow she knew Alexander wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.
He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. When she reached the last step, some of the awkwardness from before returned. Grace started to look down, but his finger caught her chin. “There’s no need to be embarrassed with me, Grace. Not ever.”
“Thank you. For earlier, I mean.”
Alexander traced the line of her jaw back and forth several times. “I imagine I enjoyed it as much as you did.”
His comment brought a different kind of embarrassment flooding through her.
This only seemed to amuse him. “I already checked to make sure the back door was locked and everything is turned off. All you have to do is lock up behind me. Then I want you to head to bed and get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll set up a time when we can go over everything.”
She knew by everything that he meant their lists and what kind of arrangement they would have. It was something she hadn’t given much thought to. It hadn’t seemed real. Until then.
He held her gaze for a moment longer before dropping his hand and backing toward the door.
Grace locked the door behind him and watched through the window as he climbed into his vehicle and drove away. Once she could no longer see the lights of his car, she slowly headed back upstairs. Like a good little sub, she made a pit stop in the bathroom, and then slid into bed.