Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  The look on her face told him she didn’t understand. In a way, he didn’t either, but something was holding him back. He kept telling himself it was her that he was waiting on, but was it really? He didn’t know the answer and that bothered him.

  Instead of delving into the whys, he lowered his head and captured her lips with his once more. This time the kiss was soft and deep, and he hoped conveyed a fraction of what he felt for her. Something might be holding him back but it had nothing to do with his feelings for Grace.

  She sank into the kiss, holding tight to his shirt as they let their tongues explore.

  As much as he didn’t want to, eventually he had to break the kiss. “You need to get to bed. You have work tomorrow.”

  “I know.” She looked up at him and worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  Grace averted her gaze, choosing to look at the hardwood floor instead of at him. He was about to demand she tell him what was wrong when she asked, “Will you stay?”

  It took him a moment to process what she said. “You want me to spend the night?”

  She nodded and met his gaze.

  “Grace, I don’t—”

  “Please?”

  He looked into her eyes and knew he couldn’t say no even though he wasn’t sure it was the best idea, not when his cock was straining against his pants as it was. Would he be able to keep his hands to himself if he was lying beside her all night? He didn’t know the answer to that. And more importantly, did he want to?

  Alexander took her face in his hands and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

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  Chapter 15

  Grace grabbed her shirt and panties from where they’d been discarded on the floor, and they headed upstairs to her bedroom. Inviting him to spend the night wasn’t something she’d thought through. She hadn’t wanted him to go. That was all she knew.

  As they walked up the stairs, she could tell his leg was beginning to bother him but she didn’t say anything. Every time she did he shrugged it off and told her not to worry about it. But wasn’t it her responsibility as his sub to take care of him? She wanted to care for his needs and that included easing his physical pain if she could.

  “You take the bathroom first,” he said when they entered her room.

  She nodded and padded into the bathroom. As she readied herself for bed, Grace couldn’t help but wonder if the reason Alexander was holding back was because he thought she wasn’t ready. And while she could understand that given the conversations they’d had in the past, after tonight she realized she was. More than ready. Even after two orgasms her body was humming.

  When she reentered her bedroom she was naked. Alexander was sitting on the end of her bed. She saw how his gaze roamed over her curves and how his pants were still tented with his very obvious erection. He stood, but he didn’t approach her. Instead, he made his way into the bathroom.

  He seemed to be attracted to her. So what was the problem?

  The thought occurred to her that maybe she needed to make the first move, but that didn’t sit well with her. She didn’t like to be the aggressor in the bedroom. That was the whole point of being submissive. She wanted her partner to take the lead, to take control.

  Images of Alexander hovering over her had her blood pressure spiking again. What was she going to do if he didn’t take her soon?

  “Do you want to put some pajamas on?” She jumped a little, not realizing he’d walked back into the room.

  Grace figured this was a good time to push things without actually doing anything. The decision would still be his. “Do you want me to?”

  He seemed to contemplate it for a moment, and then said, “I think that might be best.”

  Disappointment filled her as she went to her dresser and pulled out a T-shirt and some shorts. If she had any lingerie she would have worn that, but Kurt hadn’t liked her in anything when he was home, and since he’d been gone she’d reverted back to her old standby.

  Alexander waited for her to climb into bed before stripping down to his boxer briefs and joining her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

  Grace lay there for several minutes listening to their breathing. He was still awake. She could tell. And even though she could no longer see his erection, she imagined he was still worked up. He hadn’t been in the bathroom long enough to take that cold shower he’d mentioned.

  “Sir?”

  “Yes?”

  She scraped her teeth along her bottom lip, anxiety gnawing at her stomach. “I want you to know that I’m ready for us to have sex.” Grace blew out a shaky breath. “I didn’t . . . I didn’t want you to be holding back because you thought I wasn’t.”

  He combed his fingers through her hair. “I’ll take that under advisement. Now get some sleep.”

  Grace frowned, but knew it wouldn’t do any good to try and change his mind. At least not tonight. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the fact that she’d won one battle tonight. He was there, in her bed.

  The next morning she woke up alone. After glancing around the room, she noticed Alexander’s shirt was still folded neatly on the dresser. Grace didn’t think he would leave without saying goodbye, but for a moment doubt had crept in. She immediately felt guilty.

  Alexander came strolling into the room, carrying a tray of food. He’d put his pants back on from last night. “You’re awake.”

  “Yeah.” Grace looked toward the window. It was still dark out. At least she hadn’t overslept. “What time is it?”

  “Five thirty. I was just coming to wake you up.” He placed the tray on the nightstand beside her bed.

  She sat up, resting her back against the headboard. “You made me breakfast?”

  He grinned and his eyes lit up, pulling her in as they so often did. “Did you miss the part about me insisting you eat three meals a day?”

  “No, Sir.”

  His gaze softened and he brushed the tips of his fingers along the side of her face. “As much as I love hearing you call me Sir, you don’t have to when we’re not playing. Alexander is fine.”

  She picked up the half a bagel he’d brought her. “Sorry. I guess it’s habit. I always called Kurt Sir or Master unless we were around others who weren’t in the lifestyle.”

  “We’re still feeling things out. It takes time. But I wanted you to know I don’t expect it or require it unless we’re playing.”

  Grace nodded and took a bite of her bagel. “Thank you for breakfast.”

  He kissed her forehead and stood. “Anytime.”

  She watched him put on his shirt, socks, and shoes. “Are you leaving?”

  “You need to finish getting ready for work and I want to get a workout in before I meet Daniel,” he said as he finished tying his shoes.

  “Okay.”

  Alexander walked back to her side and tipped her chin up until she was looking at him. “I’ll see you tonight.” He ran his thumb over her bottom lip then turned and left, leaving her to finish her breakfast alone.

  Tommy was his usual perky self when Grace arrived at the café. He prattled on about the club he and his girlfriend went to the night before, going on and on about how great the DJ was. Grace was only half listening. Beth had smiled at her when Grace first got there, but other than that she’d been fairly quiet. Then again, Tommy hadn’t really stopped talking.

  It wasn’t until several hours later when Tommy was busy manning the front register that she found herself alone in the back with Beth. The morning rush was over and they still had some time before people began coming in for lunch. Beth poured herself a cup of coffee. “Want some?”

  “No, thanks.” Grace bit the inside of her cheek to keep from adding ma’am.

  Beth nodded, brought her coffee over, and sat down. She tilted her chin in the direction of a nearby stool. “Might as well take a load off while you can.”

  Grac
e took a seat.

  “You know, there’s no need to be nervous or uncomfortable. I’m still the same person I was two days ago and so are you,” Beth said.

  Grace thought she should be honest. “I feel like I should start calling you ma’am.”

  Beth snorted. “I wonder what Tommy would think of that.”

  “Does Tommy know?”

  “About our lifestyle?” Beth kept her wording vague in case they were overheard. “No. And to my knowledge he and his girlfriend lead a very vanilla life.”

  Grace hadn’t met Tommy’s girlfriend, so she’d have to take Beth’s word for it.

  Beth placed her coffee mug on the counter and met Grace’s gaze. “Nothing has to change. At least while we’re at the café. I’m still Beth, your boss, and you’re still Grace, my employee.”

  “I guess I wasn’t sure if . . . how . . .”

  “We’re just two people sitting here having coffee.” Beth smirked. “Or one person having coffee and the other keeping her company.”

  Grace grinned. “It’s not weird for you at all?”

  “Not really,” Beth said, picking her mug back up and taking a sip. “And it shouldn’t be for you either. You have nothing to be ashamed about. It’s part of who you are just like it’s part of who I am.”

  “You don’t think any less of me?” Grace felt guilty asking it, but she needed to know.

  “Do you think I think less of Drew?” Beth asked instead.

  “No.”

  “Then why would I think less of you?” Her boss leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Grace’s arm. “I’ve known you had submissive tendencies since the day I met you. It didn’t bother me then and it doesn’t bother me now. In fact, I’m glad to see you embracing who you are.”

  Grace never got the chance to respond since Tommy burst through the doors, holding up a piece of paper. “We’ve got a large order and they need it ASAP.”

  Without a word, she and Beth hopped off their stools and got to work.

  ***

  Daniel’s office was downtown near the Arch, which would have made it easy to find even if Alexander hadn’t had GPS. When he walked in, all the desks were empty and there was not a person in sight. He checked his watch. It was eleven fifty-six. “Hello?”

  A few seconds later a young man who looked to be right out of college popped his head out of a room on the left. “Hello. Can I help you?”

  “I’m looking for Daniel.”

  The young man opened his mouth, but at the sound of someone else entering the room, he turned, leaving his words unsaid.

  Daniel strolled into the main room with a folder tucked into the crook of his arm. “Right on time.”

  “Years of being made to run miles for being even a minute late is a hard habit to break.”

  His friend chuckled. “One of the many things I don’t miss about the military.” Then he addressed the young man. “I’ll be gone for a couple of hours. If the Robinsons call, let them know I still haven’t heard anything back.”

  “Will do.”

  Daniel plucked his jacket from the coatrack near the entrance and they headed out. “There’s a nice bistro around the corner that recently opened up.”

  “Sounds good.”

  The bistro was close enough to walk to, so Alexander left his car in front of Daniel’s office. It was a little windy, but at least the sun was shining. Considering the amount of times he’d been deployed in the desert, the change in temperature was still a bit of a shock to his system.

  Once they took their seats, Daniel handed Alexander the folder he’d brought with him. “I spent the morning putting together some listings I thought might interest you. All of them have easy access to the highway. I figured accessibility would be important.”

  “Yes. Very.” Alexander took his time going over the locations Daniel had put together. There were close to a dozen, but only two piqued his interest. They were both the right size, in great locations, and the prices were reasonable.

  Their server brought their food, and Alexander set the paperwork aside to dig in.

  “What do you think? Is there anything in there you think could work?” Daniel asked.

  Alexander wiped his hands, flipped the folder around, and pushed it across the table toward Daniel. “I think these two might work.”

  Daniel gave the listings a casual glance. “Would you like me to see if I can set up a time where you could take a look at them in person?” he asked before going back to his food.

  “That would be great.”

  The two of them concentrated on their meal for several minutes. Alexander had to admit that the food was good. He was going to have to bring Grace.

  “How did Grace like the club last night?” Daniel asked. “She seemed a bit unnerved around Beth.”

  “Beth’s her boss and she wasn’t expecting to see her there.” Alexander shrugged. “You know how it is.”

  “I do. And I also know it’s usually a much harder transition for subs than it is for us.”

  Alexander nodded, but didn’t say anything more. All things considered, Grace had done extremely well. She hadn’t run, so that was a plus. He also had confidence that Beth would try and smooth things over with Grace. The conversation he and Beth had in regards to Grace reassured him that Beth felt almost as protective of Grace as he did.

  “This isn’t only an arrangement for you, is it?” The question came out of the blue and when Alexander looked at his friend he realized that he must have let his mind wander for longer than he thought.

  There was no reason for him to lie, but for some reason he didn’t want to talk about his feelings for Grace. Not even with Daniel. “Grace and I are still feeling things out. In many ways she’s still mourning her husband.”

  Daniel studied him for a long moment, and then dropped the subject. They spent the rest of their meal talking about the two listings Alexander indicated he wanted to take a look at. It was a nice way to pass the time on a Saturday afternoon.

  After leaving Daniel’s office, Alexander went back to his apartment. The temptation to drop by the café to see Grace had been great, but he’d resisted. He didn’t want to crowd her. Especially since he had his own shit to figure out. Like why he hadn’t made love to her last night.

  Thinking about lying in bed with her—her soft body curled next to his—had the muscles in his groin tightening. He wanted her. There was no doubt about that.

  He kicked off his shoes and tossed his keys onto the counter. Desire was not what was stopping him. That much he knew.

  For a month he’d contented himself with being her friend. Now he had the green light for more and he was getting cold feet. It made no logical sense, but as a doctor Alexander knew that often emotions weren’t logical. In fact, most of the time they were downright illogical. He’d told Grace as much on more than one occasion.

  Alexander sat on his couch and turned on the television. Some woman came on the screen. She was talking, but his mind was elsewhere.

  Without even thinking about it, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it to see if Grace had texted him. She hadn’t. He could only hope that meant things had gone well and she hadn’t run out on Beth and her job.

  Unable to sit still, Alexander turned off the television, shoved his phone back in his pocket, stood, and scooped up his keys before heading toward the door. If he had time to kill, he was going to use it for something productive. Even if he couldn’t wrap his head around what exactly was stopping him from claiming what was now by all rights his, he could at least be her Dom.

  With the help of his phone, he found a store nearby that carried lingerie and club attire. The place was full of leather, lace, and satin, as well as a wide variety of sex toys. As tempting as the toys were, he steered clear of that section for the moment and focused on what he’d come there for: an outfit for Grace.

  “Can I help you find something?” a woman in her twenties asked from behind the counter.

  “I wante
d to see what kind of club wear you carry.”

  She walked around the counter. “Our club line is back here.”

  Alexander followed her to the back of the store. There were skirts, tops, and even high heels that would make Grace almost as tall as he was. “Thanks.”

  “Anytime. Let me know if you need any help.” She gave him a long look that made him think she was talking about more than help with clothing choices, and then made her way to the front of the store again.

  He found a few items he thought looked interesting. One was a red dress that had a similar neckline to the top Grace had worn the night before only it dipped even lower. Alexander was already fantasizing about pushing the draping fabric out of the way to free her tits so he could play with them.

  Slinging the dress over his arm, he continued looking. Although he had every intention to see her in that dress, it wasn’t exactly what he wanted her to wear tonight.

  It took him a while longer before he came across the outfit he wanted. He ran his fingers along the barely there hem and imagined Grace’s ass poking out from beneath.

  Taking the outfits he’d chosen to the front, he swiftly paid for them and was on his way. He needed to get home, shower, and change before picking up Grace. Thinking about Grace in the clothes had Alexander needing to adjust himself several times during the drive home. He couldn’t wait to see her in the little skirt and top he’d picked out. The question was how long would she stay in them.

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  Chapter 16

  Grace had to admit she was feeling a little better about things by the time she said goodbye to Beth and Tommy in the parking lot. She figured she’d most likely see Beth at the club later. Their talk had helped ease a lot of Grace’s fears.

  As soon as she arrived home, Grace raced upstairs to her bathroom and stripped. Last night she’d been full of nervous energy, still afraid on some level that she’d embarrass her new Dom. Tonight she was thinking more along the lines of seduction.