“So..there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he finally said quietly, observing my face intently. “Could you come by my place? I really need to talk to you.”
I wasn’t sure what I should do. I glanced up at his eyes and felt a tinge of guilt running down my spine. I had never let him explain. If I wanted to be the bigger person, wasn’t it on me to try and forgive?
I let out a sigh and nodded. “Okay.”
We walked up the stairs to his place and inside. I stood awkwardly by the door, not knowing where to go, as if I had never lived there.
“You can sit down you know,” Lucas chuckled, taking off his coat. “Do you want something to drink?”
I unbuttoned my trench coat but decided to leave it on. As I was working the buttons, I realized that it was the same coat that I’d worn to surprise him. The memory filled me with sadness.
“No thanks. I’m pretty tired so I think we should do this quickly.”
Something that looked like grief flashed in his eyes from my words.
I walked over to the couch and sat down, feeling the opposite of relaxed. Being there reminded me of all those times we had spent together, cooking, watching movies, cuddling, kissing...it was all too much, all too soon.
Lucas sat down next to me. “I wanted to clear a couple of things with you. First, I want you to know that I never thought of you as a ‘trophy hunter’,” his words came out loud and clear as his eyes looked deep into mine. I could tell that he meant every word.
“Second, I never said anything about my money because it doesn’t matter to me. And I don’t like talking about money in general,” he finished.
Our eyes were still fixed on each other, and the contact felt comforting.
“I believe you,” I said and his baby blues lit up. “But years ago, I made a promise to myself to be self-sufficient. And I need to make it on my own.”
The glimmer of hope that had appeared in his eyes, dissipated. I felt guilty.
“Maybe we could be friends?” I suggested, not wanting to kick him when he was already down.
Lucas gave me a faint smile. “I’d like that.”
The feeling of dread in my stomach had practically vanished, but the molten hot lava was still there. I couldn’t help but notice how good he looked. My body was screaming for me to touch him, to feel him, reminding me how he’d touch me on this couch and everywhere in this house. I shook my head in an attempt to drive the thoughts and memories away.
“I better get going,” I said and got up from the couch. Lucas nodded and walked me to the door. My eyes kept skimming over his face, focusing on the little details of his strong jaw and irresistible lips. Without thinking what I was doing, I held out my hand and shook his, then opened the door and left.
As soon as the cold air hit my face, my brain processed what I had just done.
A handshake?! Who shakes their ex’s hand?
Thinking back to it made me cringe and laugh at the same time. I’d managed to make the situation so awkward and formal. But one thing was for sure: I couldn’t have hugged him—it had taken everything from me to not kiss him right then and there. And I needed to stay focused to get the job.
We could be friends, I tried to convince myself half-heartedly.
Chapter 3
Lucas.
It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Amelia and I were on speaking terms again.
Right before she had left my house, I’d felt the strongest urge to just wrap my arms around her and feel those plump, soft lips pressed against mine. But I hadn’t, because I knew I needed to respect her wishes. She had forgiven me and that was already enough—her suggesting friendship was the cherry on top of the cake.
I was sad about the fact that for a fleeting couple of months I’d had her, just for me to lose her again..but the idea of her being a part of my life, even as a friend, was soothing. At least I could be there for her and give her my support as a friend.
The rest of the week continued being so busy at work, that to my surprise I didn't have that much time to think about Amelia at all. Now that I knew she didn’t resent me anymore, the all-consuming thoughts seemed to evacuate my head. The only times I thought back to what we’d had were when I was in my bed late at night, overcome with the feeling of loneliness. But each and every night I told myself that everything would turn out okay and the pain would subside.
A week had passed since I last saw her and I wasn’t completely sure how we should embark on this new journey of being friends. I think I was subconsciously waiting for her to make the first move, since I felt like she had the ball in her court. When my phone pinged in the middle of the day on Wednesday, I instantly hoped that it would be her.
I glanced down and realized the message was from my mom, instantly feeling slightly disappointed.
‘Dear Lucas. Your father and I will be coming for a short visit this weekend. Are you free for dinner on Friday?’
I typed in my answer at the instant.
‘Yes!’
Even though Amelia hadn’t contacted me yet, knowing that I’d be seeing my parents made me feel better. It had been way too long.
I was on cruise control for the next couple of days, the upcoming merger was taking up all of my time. On Friday evening I headed straight to the restaurant from work. As I walked through the doors, I straight away spotted my parents in one of the tables.
“Lucas!” my mother shrieked joyfully and sat up, wrapping her arms around me the instant I reached her, squeezing me tighter than I thought possible.
“Hi mom,” I smiled and squeezed her back, then kissed her cheek before she sat down. I walked over to my dad and gave him a hug as well, then took a seat opposite of them.
“So, how’s everything?” I asked them and my mom went ahead, filling me in on every little detail of their lives as of late. In the middle of my mom’s storytelling, the water came by to take our orders and fill our glasses up with wine.
Apparently, my parents were in New York for their anniversary—having chosen the city as their destination because I lived here. I was touched that even when celebrating their marriage, they wanted to go the extra mile to see me.
“That’s so thoughtful. I’m so glad you came here. It’s been ages,” I said.
My mom nodded her head apprehensively. “Lucas, you work too hard. I know you love what you do but you ought to come visit us in London sometime soon.”
I let out a hearty laugh. She was always getting at me about work. “I promise I will take a week or two off to come visit you.”
Her eyes lit up and a wide smile spread across her face.
Soon, the waiter came back, carrying three plates in his arms. We all started eating as my dad told us about his chess league and country club. I couldn’t help but observe both of them as I listened to him go. They had aged slightly since the last time I had seen them—which was no surprise since they were going on sixty. I looked exactly like my dad: I had his blond, overgrown hair and his facial features. Looking at him was almost like looking into a mirror that aged you a bit over twenty years. Except for my eyes—I had my mother’s baby blue eyes. Amelia had loved my eyes, I thought and felt the sadness lifting its head in my chest, reminding me that it was still there.
Even surrounded with the people I loved, with great food in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel like something was amiss. This situation would feel complete if she was here.
“Lucas?” my mom spoke again and her eyes scanned over my face quizzically. “You're very absent-minded. Much more than usual. What..or who is keeping your mind preoccupied?”
I sighed heavily. I didn’t want to burden either of them with lies. “It’s a girl,” I admitted.
My dad’s eyebrows shot up from the surprise—I had never really spoken to them about anyone special, not after that whole debacle with Daria.
“Well, tell us about her!” my mom demanded impatiently. I had a hunch that her only son being a loner killed her�
�she was the type to have wanted grandchildren almost right after I'd graduated college. Now at thirty-six, I was aware that she had been waiting for a long time.
“Well..it was great,” I began hesitantly. “But now it’s just very complicated.”
My dad glanced up from his steak. “Why haven’t you mentioned her before, son?”
I took a sip of my wine, well-aware that the next part would be the one that had caused all of my insecurities and doubts.
“Because..she’s a bit younger,” I answered reluctantly through my gritted teeth. The words sunk in and I shifted my gaze down from them, feeling ashamed.
A hand flew to mine, delivering a soft squeeze, and I looked back up, realizing it belonged to my mother. She had an affectionate look on her face.
“Lucas, you’re a great guy. And I’m not just saying it because you’re my son,” she said. “The thing is that sometimes you just stick to yourself too much. And I’m sure it’s at least partly because your childhood wasn’t the easiest. It wasn’t easy for us to keep moving from one place to the other and as a child it must have been so much harder for you. Barely staying in one place for over a year,” she sighed and shook her head slowly. “I have a hunch that is why you never made friends—because you knew you’d be leaving them soon. I’m sorry Lucas. That is on your father and I.” Her voice trembled as she spoke, brushing a strand of golden brown hair off her face.
My heart ached from knowing that her assumptions were correct, but I hated to see the guilt in her eyes.
“Mom, dad. I’ve never blamed you,” I assured them.
“I know. That just goes to show how great of a person you are. Most people in your shoes would point fingers, and deservingly so.” She nodded with a quaint smile on her face. “But let me continue. I hope that now you can see that your situation is completely different. You’ve been living in New York for God knows how long..and you have no plans to uproot your life and leave, do you?”
I shook my head, and she went on. “It’s time for you to start living your life, Lucas. It’s time to start trusting people and creating long lasting relationships with them. And not just Xavier.”
I chuckled at the mention of my best friend. She was right though, and I could tell her words were coming from the heart.
“Your father and I want you to be happy. And obviously being apart from this special lady has made you miserable. From what you’ve told us, maybe she feels the same way. Now, I don’t know what’s happened between you two recently, but it has clearly changed something,” her blue eyes pierced through mine as she delivered her words with clarity. “If you want her in your life, you need to show her that you trust her, fully. That you promise to be more open with her. Your relationship doesn't need to have that due date.”
Her words struck a chord with me. Everything she said was true—all my life I’d been weary about trusting people, preferring to stick to myself. I hadn’t been living my life to the fullest. Instead, I’d been shying away from new people and living inside the safe walls that I’d built around myself. And whenever something or someone had come and shaken things up, I’d pulled away into myself. Just like I had done with Amelia.
My mom took a sip of her wine as her words sank in. Then she went on. “You’re not going anywhere and I’m guessing she isn’t either. You can win back her trust, honey. You’re an amazing guy and too few people have been able to see that because you haven’t let anyone get close enough. I can’t even remember the last time you had feelings for someone like this,” she chuckled.
I let out a laugh. “That must have been ten years ago. And I didnt even care for her like I care for Amelia.”
“Exactly,” she quipped back with a stern expression on her usually kind-looking face. “And it doesn’t matter if she’s younger, as long as you two are okay with it and on the same page. The heart wants what it wants,” she sighed dreamily, glancing over at my dad. He smirked pompously and she shook her head at his reaction and giggled.
I wanted what they had. I’d always had.
We finished up our food and after some dessert and coffee, headed out of the restaurant to the chilly evening air.
“I promise I will try to win back her trust,” I told my mom as I hugged her goodbye.
She nodded at me with a pleased look on her gentle face. After saying goodbye to my father, they headed in the opposite direction.
I was walking through the city streets, heading home and thinking back to my mom’s words and how they had touched me. Feeling inspired, I reached for my phone and typed a message to Amelia.
‘How has your week been?’
Almost instantly, my phone vibrated.
‘It’s been crazy but I’m feeling pretty good. How about you? :)’
The people walking past me must have been wondering why I sported such a stupid grin on my face.
Chapter 4
Amelia.
Tomorrow would be the day. The day I’d find out if I’d get the job. The day that would determine if my hard work these past few months would be rewarded. Even thinking about it brought butterflies to my stomach. I wanted the job so badly.
However, now it was 6 p.m. on a Tuesday evening and thus there was nothing more for me to do other than wait for the verdict. All the work had been done. I took a sip of my water and placed the bottle back on my desk. What I needed was a distraction—otherwise I’d be yanking my hair out in anticipation.
I slammed my laptop shut and pulled out my phone, typing up a short text to Lucas.
‘I was thinking of grabbing coffee in town. Wanna join?’
I wasn’t sure why I decided to text him. Maybe it was because he was my only friend in New York or maybe because he had finally texted me a few days ago. But when I’d seen that text from him last Friday, my lips had stretched upwards into a huge grin. It had made my day.
I bit my lip nervously as I waited for him to text me back. What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he had decided against being friends? Different possibilities kept racing through my mind until finally, my phone buzzed. Instantly, the butterflies made their reappearance.
Calm down, Amelia. It's just a friendly cup of coffee.
I glanced down at my phone and grinned at the simple answer.
‘Yes :)’
I practically hopped up from my seat to pack up my things. After I was done, I headed out into the rainy November weather. I texted Lucas the name of the coffee shop I had in mind as I strolled towards it. Luckily, it was only a few blocks away.
My mind kept going over our conversations and texts, and I couldn’t help but feel happy that we had been able to become friends. Since his first text on Friday, we had been texting each other here and there. What had taken me by surprise was how supportive he had been. I felt lucky having a friend like him in my life. And even better, now I’d be seeing said friend. I was feeling happy.
I pulled open the heavy door and stepped inside to the warm, comfy place, instantly spotting Lucas at the back in a comfy chair. He wore a big grin on his face as he waved his hand at me, and I walked over to the table, getting out of my wet coat.
“That weather is horrible,” I chuckled and glanced down at the table. “You ordered for me?” The surprise was clearly audible in my voice.
“Yes, I knew you wouldn’t take long to arrive so I decided to order for the both of us,” he said, getting up from his seat. “I got you your favorite coffee and a slice of cake—for the nerves,” he grinned and then wrapped his arms around me. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating and I had to resist the temptation to press my face against his warm, welcoming chest. When we broke apart, I couldn’t help but think that it happened way too quickly—I wanted another one of those hugs.
“Thank you so much,” I beamed and sat down opposite of him. His baby blue eyes twinkled when I took a sip of the coffee and let out a pleased sigh.
“So, tell me what’s new,” Lucas said, digging into his slice of cheesecake.
“Well, tomo
rrow I find out if I get picked for the job,” I began, holding the coffee cup in my cold hands, letting it warm them. “I’m so nervous. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and a necessary step for me in order to get where I want to go in life,” I went on, and he listened to my words attentively, nodding along here and there. “The thing is, I’m competing against three other interns. I’ve been working twelve hour days for the past months, but now I just have to wait,” I sighed and plunged my fork into the cake. The chocolate seemed to melt in my mouth, taking away my worries momentarily.
“No matter what happens, I want you to know that I’m really proud of you,” Lucas said. “I know how driven and talented you are, not to mention how hard you work for your goals. I have a hunch you’ll be the best woman for the job,” he winked.
My insides felt warm and fuzzy—his words were exactly what I needed to hear to soothe my nerves.
We finished our coffees and cakes while chatting about anything and everything. It felt so nice to be spending time together again, and when we got up to leave, I was more than happy he suggested that we walked. The rain had stopped and the weather was actually nice. Lucas walked his bike as we made our way leisurely towards home.
“You hungry? I feel like grabbing a pizza to go,” he asked, pointing to a pizza place in front of us.
“I could eat,” I smiled.
Fifteen minutes later, we were on our way again, only this time around I had our pizza box in my hands.
“I’m gonna take my stuff inside and then come by,” I told him as we arrived in front of our houses. I waited for him to take his bike inside, then handed him the pizza and hurried to my mom’s. I rushed into my room and dropped my bag on the ground.
“Where are you headed?” my mom asked as I walked back into the living room.
“I’m having pizza with Lucas.”
Her face turned from neutral to smirking. “I thought you guys broke up,” she sneered. “But, I’m glad to see that you’ve decided to be smart about it, since he’s got money. In all honesty, he’s the best you can do...even if he’s a little pervy, going out with a young girl like you,” she snickered and managed to make my blood boil again. It was most likely her idea of a funny joke, I told myself.
Sweet Little Love Page 2