The interviewer looked at the test footage.
‘How about we go through a few questions with you? We can see how it turns out and decide whether we use it when we’re finished.’ Anna’s stomach churned. ‘We need a head shot; it’ll only be a short grab to give the piece some context. You’ll be fine, I promise.’
Anna didn’t want to be filmed. She felt awkward and nervous in front of the camera but couldn’t work out how to get out of it. She took a deep breath and tried to focus her answers on the three main messages she’d developed for Genevieve: the number of women assisted, their successes and the need for financial support.
She thought she was managing quite well until the interviewer asked her whether she thought the women had brought their own misfortune on themselves. She searched her mind for an answer. You don’t have to answer the question, she told herself. Anna reiterated the statistics she’d pulled together for Genevieve. The interviewer tried again with a slightly different angle. Anna could feel sweat trickling down her back. Anna gave him more statistics and told him one of the success stories.
He finished the interview, thanked her and left as Genevieve arrived.
‘You’ve finished, I see. How did it go?’
Anna couldn’t speak and her legs were shaking.
‘She did really well,’ said the wardrobe assistant. ‘He asked Anna some tricky questions. Anna held her ground and gave him straight answers. And all those statistics – he’ll have to use some of them.’
‘Anna, you’re sopping wet,’ said Genevieve. ‘We’ll have to find you a new outfit. Your charming gentleman rang and I need you to come with me and look at some premises. You do have time, don’t you?’
‘I guess so.’
Genevieve helped Anna take the jacket off.
‘I see this is from the outfit you had on the other night at the opera when you were with Ted.’
‘Yes, I had it cleaned and I was returning it.’
‘So, did Claire talk to you?’
‘About what?’
‘Um. The return of the clothes.’
‘Oh, yes. I’ve been trying to return them, but something always seemed to happen and I needed to clean them again. To be honest, I was a bit worried Claire might think I was taking them. I’d never do such a thing.’
‘Of course, you wouldn’t,’ said Genevieve. ‘Pity though, they looked great on you. Let’s see what else we can find.’
Genevieve swept through the clothing racks. Even though Anna had been in the styling session, this was different. She felt a rush of competing emotions: flattered at so much attention, embarrassed when a blouse was too tight and showed her bosoms. She grew hotter and didn’t want to come out of the dressing cubicle to parade in front of Genevieve.
‘Come on, it’s only me. I’ve done this many times.’
Anna emerged in the outfit that fitted the best. It was a navy pant with a turquoise and navy knitted top. ‘I’ll return these as soon as I can.’
‘Come on, we’re going to be late,’ said Genevieve. ‘Let’s go in my car. Here’s the address. Can you put it in the GPS and can you call to say we’re on our way?’
They arrived at a warehouse-type building on a busy road. There were vacant parking spaces at the back.
‘Not a bad location,’ said Genevieve as they walked from the car. ‘The railway station is just up that street.’
‘Hello Anna, good to see you.’ Ted was at the back door of the warehouse. ‘And Genevieve, it’s so nice to meet you again. The owner suggested I come along to help with introductions.’
Ted led them through the back door and down a narrow, dingy corridor. Anna was thinking how inappropriate the premises were when Ted opened an internal door and revealed a huge, light-filled space.
Ted introduced them to the owner.
‘This is massive,’ said Genevieve.
‘The premises were last used by a clothing wholesale company and the fittings are recent. Unfortunately, they went into liquidation. Since then the space has been vacant.’
‘Is that why you are willing to make it available to our organisation?’ asked Genevieve.
‘To be honest, it’s hard to rent out such a space in this area. Most of the places have been taken over for residential development and it’s difficult to get planning permission to carry out any business which makes noise.’
‘So why aren’t you turning this into residential accommodation too?’
‘I may one day, but it doesn’t suit my business at present. Basically, I want to hold onto this space as it will have a strong capital gain, and it is better for it to be used than to be vacant and attract squatters or vandals.’
‘And I suppose there would be some tax benefits for you?’ asked Anna, who was still suspicious of the offer and the motives behind it.
‘We don’t have to go into that aspect of the arrangement,’ said Ted. ‘Come on, let’s have a look around.’
There was a double glass doorway leading into the street and a reception desk at the front. It was easy to imagine racks of clothes in the middle of the space. There were changing rooms already set up along one wall, and next to them were toilet facilities and a shower. At the other end was a kitchenette. Halfway along one wall, a set of stairs led up to a mezzanine level, which was divided into a couple of offices and a meeting room.
‘We wouldn’t have to modify anything,’ said Genevieve.
The rent sounded reasonable, given the location and size, but it was more than they had budgeted for, even allowing for the planned fundraising event being a success.
‘We won’t give up,’ said Genevieve when they stood outside the warehouse. ‘There has to be a way to pull this off. Oh, look at the time. Anna, can you get back to your car by public transport or taxi? I have to dash to another meeting.’
Ted offered to drive Anna to Suitability. Anna rang Claire from Ted’s car to give her an update.
‘The space sounds perfect,’ said Claire. ‘But I don’t see how we can raise that sort of money. I might have to mortgage my house.’
‘You can’t do that.’
‘Why ever not? What do I need with a huge house now I am going to be alone?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh, my husband is gallivanting off to Europe without me and who knows when or if he’ll come back.’
‘Oh Claire, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. I’m getting sick of feeling sorry for myself,’ said Claire. ‘I need to focus on the future. Maybe I could sell this place and buy a small one and donate what’s left.’
They finished the call.
‘What were Claire’s thoughts?’ asked Ted. He manoeuvred the car through the Sydney traffic, which was already building towards the afternoon peak hour. They passed the new blocks of units that were being hastily built on old industrial sites and the fledgling trees that would one day soften the harsh streetscape and provide shade. Not that shade was needed on this cloudy winter’s day.
Anna explained the problem of finances. She went over the event they were organising and her estimation of what they could raise in the best-case scenario.
Genevieve rang. ‘Shit, shit, shit. You’re not going to believe what’s happened, Anna. The function place where we were going to hold our fundraiser has double-booked. I bet they received a better offer. We only have a month to find other premises.’
‘What are we going to do?’
‘I was hoping you could do your options thingo and see what you can come up with.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you. Come on, Anna, you can do this.’
Anna was despondent. Her mind was void. ‘I’ll try,’ she said feebly.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Ted. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘The function place for the fundraiser double-booked and they’ve cancelled on us. Now I’m expected to find a solution.’
‘And?’
‘And nothing. My mind is a blank. Our current sh
owroom is too small and we don’t have time to get another place.’
Ted carefully rounded the corner and crossed over the railway line.
‘What about the warehouse we just looked at?’ Ted suggested. ‘I saw a similar space be transformed into a ballroom once. With a bit of imagination and lighting, you can do anything.’
‘Would the owner agree?’
‘I don’t see why not.’
‘That’d be wonderful. But what if we don’t raise enough money to rent the space for a year?’
‘It’s no skin off his nose. The place is vacant. Anyway, I’m sure you can find ways to make even more money, if you have to.’
Ted pulled into the car park at the showroom and offered to call the owner. Anna sat in the warm car pondering what to do first. Perhaps she should call Genevieve or Claire to check with them.
Ted put his hand on hers to comfort her. She didn’t move. He slid his hand slowly up her arm and she felt her shoulders relax. He gently turned her face to his and she looked into his eyes as he drew her close to him. Anna realised with a jolt what was happening and jerked her head back.
‘Come on, just one little kiss.’
‘No. Leave me alone. Is that what you’re doing this for?’
‘Of course not. It’s just … I’m so lonely and … and I thought you’d be …’
‘Ted, I’m not ready for this.’
Anna’s hand shook when she tried to open the car door. How could this be happening to her, at her age? She enjoyed Ted’s company but this was too much. How could he have thought she wanted more?
Ted unlocked the car door and Anna scrambled out.
‘Have it your way. I’ll call you later,’ he said and drove off.
Anna stood in the middle of the car park. Her feelings of outrage collided with shame and embarrassment. She questioned whether she had misread the situation and was just a delusional old lady.
‘Hey, are you going to stand there all day?’ called a man who was trying to park his car.
Anna climbed into her car and hastily left. Her hands shook on the steering wheel and she decided to pull into the supermarket on the way home to steady her nerves. She wandered around the aisles, filling the trolley with groceries, dog food and cleaning products. When she had calmed down, she drove the rest of the way home.
While she fed Rufus and unpacked the groceries, she went over the events of the last few hours. What did Ted want with her? Anna had thought Ted was a kind and decent man, after companionship. His actions suggested different feelings, ones she wanted to avoid, but maybe she had led him on and maybe she was fooling herself. After all, she’d known the opera invitation was a date and that’s why she’d prevaricated so long. She had to admit she felt something when he kissed her cheeks at the end of the evening.
As well as being confused about her own feelings, Anna worried about the implications of her refusal to kiss Ted. Was he the sort of man who would take back his promise of helping with premises and, if so, how could she tell Claire she’d ruined their only chance of saving Suitability?
To distract herself and tick another item off her to-do list, Anna decided to go through her mother’s suitcase of mementos to find her cousin Francine’s email address. There it was, written on an index card, beneath a photo of Aunt Estelle. She emailed Francine, checked off the item and made herself an omelette for an early dinner, though she wasn’t the least bit hungry.
After dinner she discovered Francine had already replied. It was, she had written, Aunt Estelle’s ninetieth birthday the following February and it was Aunt Estelle’s greatest wish that Anna could come for the party.
Anna hadn’t expected her aunt to be alive. She didn’t know anything about her mother’s sister and realised the photo of Aunt Estelle had disappeared from the sideboard display around the time they didn’t go to France. Anna hadn’t paid much attention as her mother was always rearranging the house, creating different looks and spaces and moving the tapestry around to get less sun. Anna thought about her French relatives and wondered whether she could go to Paris.
It was all getting too much for her. Her life seemed out of control. There were too many mysteries, too many feelings and too much to do.
*
The next morning, Anna walked Rufus to the leash-free park. It was closer than the bay and she was careful to scan the area for any sign of Ted or his dog. She couldn’t face Ted again, not right now. What had she been thinking, accepting his invitations? Vouchers indeed. He’d clearly planned it. And to what end? Why on earth was he interested in her?
‘Rufus, come back.’ Rufus took off into the canal. Anna chased after him and there, right in the middle, on a silty patch of water, was Ted’s dog, Penny. ‘Damn and blast.’
Ted scrambled down the side of the canal with Rufus right behind him. They emerged wet and dirty. Ted held Penny in his arms and Rufus followed them.
‘Oh, Anna, what a mess I am,’ puffed Ted. ‘Can we sit down a minute while I get my breath?’ He stumbled onto a nearby park bench, put the collar and leash back on Penny and patted Rufus.
Anna sat on the bench as far from Ted as she could. Her mind whirled with conflicting thoughts. She wanted to walk away, to never see him again, yet part of her needed to stay, to hear what he would say, how he’d explain his behaviour.
‘Anna, I’m so sorry for what happened. Please forgive me.’
It was too confusing and Anna wanted to tell Ted to leave her alone.
‘Say something, please – you’re scaring me.’
‘You made me feel used, demeaned and embarrassed,’ she blurted out.
‘I’m sorry. I’m just a lonely and clumsy old man and never meant to upset you. Tell me how I can make up it up to you.’
‘That’s just it: you can’t.’ Anna sat and thought about her position. How could she take the moral high ground when she had been someone’s mistress? What would Ted think of her coyness if he knew? And what kind of man was he anyway? She knew he was different to William in many ways, but was he so different?
‘Have you ever had an affair?’ she asked.
‘No, of course not. Not even when my wife was very sick and she urged me to find someone else.’ Ted moved along the bench closer to Anna. ‘What a strange question. Why do you ask me that?’
‘I did. With a married man. For twenty years. I was the “other woman”, his mistress. Are you shocked?’
Ted gave Anna his handkerchief. ‘Anna, I’m so sorry for what happened to you. But honestly, I’m not like that other man.’
‘I was the one who put up with lonely nights and missed appointments because there was someone more important.’ Anna couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. ‘And in the end, I was the one who faced the shame alone.’ She told Ted about her former lover, her lost child and her lonely life.
‘Do you still love him?’ Ted asked.
Anna sat and pondered the question. She thought she still loved William. How could she stop loving someone she’d cared about for so long? And yet, there was a doubt in her mind.
Her phone rang.
‘Let me ask another question,’ said Ted, speaking over the phone’s ring tone. ‘If that was him on the phone now, would you go back to him?’
Anna had been waiting for William to call ever since her dismissal and he never had. Not long ago, she would have said yes in a millisecond, but something had changed. Anna realised if William had loved her, he’d have done anything to be with her. So, either he didn’t love her or he was a coward, and she couldn’t respect a coward.
Anna’s phone beeped and she checked the screen. It was a text from Genevieve asking her to go urgently to Claire’s.
26
CLAIRE
‘Well. I’m off.’ Anthony stood at the guestroom door with his bags.
‘Now? But your flight isn’t until tomorrow.’
‘I’m going to stay at the hotel near the airport tonight. That way it’ll be easier in the morning.’
�
��No, it won’t be easy. It’ll never be easy. Please don’t go.’
‘I have to, I promised.’
‘You don’t have to.’
‘Claire, it’s too late,’ said Anthony. ‘I’ve accepted the scholarship; all the arrangements are in place. We’ve been over this so many times, I’m exhausted.’
‘You’re exhausted? What about me?’
‘Claire, pull yourself together, will you?’
‘No, I bloody well won’t. I’ll scream and kick and fight.’ ‘You’ll hurt your back again. And it won’t do any good.’ ‘Anthony, tell me straight. Is our marriage over? Do you want a divorce?’
‘Claire, I really don’t know. I need this time to work out what I want.’
‘You? What you want? What about me? Don’t I count?’
‘Oh, Claire, of course you do. But what’s the point of hanging onto something which doesn’t make us happy anymore?’
‘Us? Don’t you dare imply that this is my doing. I was happy until you got itchy feet.’
‘You were happy because you had everything your way. Your perfect family, house and husband. But I’m not perfect and I can’t keep up to your standards.’
‘So, it’s my fault again. You can’t help yourself blaming me instead of taking responsibility yourself.’
‘Claire, there is no one to blame. It’s just what is happening. We’ve grown apart and you’ll be better off in the long run.’
‘Don’t give me the “long run” rubbish. You just want to have your adolescence all over again with some younger floozy.’
‘She’s not a floozy.’
Anthony and Claire glared at each other. Claire took a deep breath, ignored the pain in her back and faced the moment she had been dreading.
‘Tell me straight, no obfuscating. Are you in love with someone else?’
Anthony picked up his bags and walked to the foyer. Claire struggled out of bed and followed him.
‘I demand to know if you are in love with that Yvette woman.’
‘Claire. You must stop this. It doesn’t become you.’
‘Become me? You must be joking. Nothing becomes me anymore. I’m a complete mess, my whole life is ruined and when I need you, you take the first exit sign out the door.’
The Changing Room Page 20