‘You loved your grandma, Molly,’ Venera had said while Molly sobbed freely. ‘I know you did. It’s not your fault she died. You came up against your normal human limitations and she came up against hers. That’s all that happened. No one is to blame, least of all you. You were doing the best you could. Your grandma would be proud looking at you now and all that you’ve done to keep your children.’
Molly turned towards the noise of the children splashing in the shallow plastic pool, the one she’d stolen all that time ago in her desperation. She was far from being that desperate woman anymore, and she felt a happiness spread from the end of her big toe to the top of her head. It’d been tough though, juggling the kids and making ends meet. The Parenting Payment gave her a regular income and some other concessions, and she’d done a budget with the help of the financial management people at Centrelink. But it was a struggle to cover all the bills.
With Steve’s help, Molly had received the approvals to prepare home-based food for sale. The customers at the trendy cafe loved her local, home-cooked food from Grandma’s recipes. She’d expanded her range from muffins to include Anzac biscuits. Strange how trendoids now liked good ole Aussie bakery items. She’d also sold some of her grandma’s furniture. The hardest to part with was the kitchen dresser. She loved it so much and it held such memories that it was almost like losing Grandma again.
Despite her losses, she had gained so much. Getting her children back was the main thing. And now she had a better sense of herself, and even some self-respect. She knew she could stand on her own two feet but looking after the children full-time was a big effort and she was grateful she had a genuine support network for the first time, instead of a husband constantly undermining her.
Molly reached in her pocket and took out the Christmas card she’d received from her mum, who was still in Perth. She’d busted up with the bloke she went there with and gone to rehab to get sober. Molly hoped her mum could stay off the grog this time. Her mother had even included forty bucks for Molly to buy presents for the kids, with the instruction to wrap them like Grandma had done for Molly. Wonders would never cease.
Next year, Matthew would start kindergarten. She’d been told the local school was great. It also had a program for pre-schoolers a couple of days a week, which was free for people on benefits, and she’d put Daniel’s name on the waiting list. She’d enjoy the short break from the boys and looked forward to having time alone with the twins.
Emma and Grace were growing up so fast. She was forever having to adjust their clothing and was getting good at altering the second-hand clothes from the Salvos to look different. She’d even sold a few that the girls had grown out of at the Sunday street market. Called them renovated clothes. That was Lindy’s idea.
‘Speak of the devil,’ said Molly when Lindy appeared at the side gate.
‘Hi Moll, I’ve brought sparkling wine to celebrate. Can’t call it champagne now you’ve got toffy friends.’ Lindy entered carrying a hot pink, soft esky. ‘I’ve got the best news. But I might need a favour.’
Molly picked up two glasses and Lindy poured the sparkling wine.
‘Tell me. You’ve got me on tenterhooks.’
‘Well, you know that super trendy new salon in Newtown. The one that uses all-natural products and advertises their “tribe of highly skilled stylists and colourists”.’
‘No, but ...’
‘Anyway, I landed a job there as a stylist. Matteo recommended me. Can you believe it?’
‘Lindy, that’s fantastic. We’ll be able to see more of each other.’
‘Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. The hours are long and I thought that maybe I could sleep over here on the late nights rather than go all the way home to Liverpool.’
‘Oh, Lindy, I’d love that. I owe ya so much for what ya did for me.’
‘Yeh ya do. Just as well I love ya,’ Lindy hugged Molly. ‘And I’ll give ya some money, y’ know, for expenses and shit.’
‘That’s not necessary.’
‘’Course it is. I’ll be earning good money, saving on travel costs. And ya need the extra cash. No arguments.’
Molly was already figuring out how she could rearrange the rooms to give Lindy her own space.
‘Yoo-hoo, are you out the back?’ Anna and Ted entered the side gate with Rufus.
‘Rufusy! Come here,’ called Daniel.
Ted put the plates of food they’d brought on the outside table while Anna took Molly aside.
‘Molly, I have a favour to ask you.’
‘Another one. Sorry, not you. Lindy just asked me for a favour. Anythin’ for a friend.’
‘Thanks. You know that I’m going to Paris early next year to visit my relatives.’
‘Yeah. With the ticket you won in the Bastille Day raffle?’
‘That’s right. Well, while I’m away, I was wondering if maybe you could mind Rufus. I know it’s a lot to ask, but he’d be so much happier with you than in a kennel or with strangers. And he loves Daniel.’
‘And Daniel loves Rufus.’ Molly thought Rufus would help entertain and calm the children, as well as teach Daniel a sense of responsibility. Daniel had decided he wanted to be a vet when he grew up and Molly would tell him he could be the main carer.
‘You don’t have to decide straight away,’ added Anna. ‘We can discuss details later. I’d pay you the going rate for care and his upkeep, of course.’
At that moment, Claire came through the side gate with Lauren.
‘Bonjour, bonjour.’ They called in unison.
‘Lauren is practising her French,’ said Claire. ‘I’ve agreed she can come to Paris with me next February and she can explore doing a fashion course there if she passes her university exams.’
Claire put a box of petit fours on the table. Molly noticed that Claire was walking stiffly.
‘How’s your back after the operation?’
‘Oh, heaps better. It’s still healing, but we’ll get there,’ said Claire. ‘That’s the other reason I’m taking Lauren – to help me with my bags.’
‘Typical. She always packs too much,’ said Lauren.
‘I have to look stylish and I can’t wear the same thing to every event. Not to fashion week.’
Venera and some of the support group members arrived carrying red and green balloons.
While they hugged Molly, Steve pushed a trolley through the side gate.
‘Ta, da!’ he said. ‘My latest contraption.’
The trolley was painted green and Steve opened the lid to reveal a mobile cafe. He put up a red umbrella, set up some speakers and took out a massive Christmas cake.
Everybody sang ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ and danced to the music Steve had curated for the event, beginning with Vance Joy’s ‘We’re Going Home’.
Molly basked in the warmth of her friends and family on a perfect Sydney summer’s day. She heard the kids shrieking and turned to see them clambering with Rufus all over Steve, who was pretending to be a giant ogre.
‘What are your Christmas plans, Molly?’ asked Claire.
‘Oh, I’ll probably spend a quiet one here, with the kids.’ Molly thought back to her last Christmas, which she’d spent with Grandma after Joe had left for the third time. Little had she known that a year later she’d be living in the house on her own with the kids.
‘Why don’t you come to my place for Christmas?’ asked Claire. ‘There’ll be lots of people there, and some other children. Anna said she’ll come.’
‘And Anthony?’
‘He’s staying in Europe. White Christmas, work, study and all that.’ Claire took a sip of sparkling wine. ‘I was going to cancel Christmas, but there were so many people who wanted to come to our place. And to be honest, Anthony was hardly ever there over Christmas anyway, with his work commitments.’
Molly gave Claire a hug.
‘Say you’ll come, with your little ones.’
‘OK, OK. Me and me tribe’ll come.’
29
ANNA
Anna undid her winter coat and took off her padded gloves. The chilly February wind had made Paris even colder than she expected. She blew on her hands and tapped the lion’s head doorknocker at Francine’s apartment in the Marais district of Paris.
When her cousin opened the door, it was as if they’d known each other all their lives. Francine was similar in height and shape to Anna and wore well-fitting clothes that were both casual and elegant. She welcomed Anna with a kiss on each cheek, took her upstairs and showed her the spare bedroom, where she’d placed a bunch of flowers in the vase. A sofa bed was made up with a floral quilt cover beside a part-open antique dresser for Anna to put her clothing. Off the room was an ensuite.
After unpacking her bags and freshening up, Anna went downstairs to the living room where she met Henri, Francine’s husband.
‘’Ello, Anna. Je vous demande pardon, my English is not so good,’ said Henri.
‘Bonjour Henri. Mon français is not so good either.’ Anna laughed. Even though she’d taken a refresher class in French before travelling to Paris, she was still reliant on her schoolgirl French. Now she regretted that her mother hadn’t spoken French at home.
A few days later, they entered Aunt Estelle’s living room. They’d arrived early to have some time alone before the other guests arrived for her birthday party.
‘Bonjour Anna, entre, entre.’ Aunt Estelle kissed Anna on both cheeks.
Aunt Estelle was beautiful and elegant. Her strong face and high cheekbones held her wrinkles and her short white hair flattered her face. She wore a dove-grey crêpe dress and gold jewellery. Anna imagined that her own mother would have looked like Aunt Estelle at ninety.
‘I’m so pleased to meet you,’ said Anna.
When Estelle hugged her with strong arms, Anna felt like she’d arrived home and wished her own mother had been able to show such affection.
‘There is a little sunshine, so viens par là, we will sit in the garden,’ said Francine.
The doors in the dining area led to a courtyard that was bathed in weak sunlight. In the middle of the courtyard was a blue outdoor table and chairs. Vines covered the stone walls and on one wall was a mirror that reflected the garden into the house.
‘It is a charming space,’ said Anna.
‘Ah, you must see this when the flowers bloom, it is magnifique. But you must come back to visit, now that we have found you,’ said Aunt Estelle.
‘That would be wonderful,’ said Anna. ‘You are so kind for having me.’
‘It is my pleasure to finally meet my beautiful niece.’
‘Not me,’ said Anna. ‘You two are the beautiful ones.’
‘Mondieu, what are you talking about? You could be Francine’s twin. Show her, Francine.’
Francine led Anna to the mirror. Anna looked. She saw her usual dull self beside a sparkling woman and frowned.
‘What is it about me that you think is beautiful?’ asked Francine.
‘Oh, that’s easy,’ said Anna. ‘Your dark brown eyes and lustrous eyelashes for a start.’
‘But we have the same eyes,’ protested Francine.
‘And your glowing skin.’
‘Anna, you have glowing skin.’
Anna frowned even more. She looked from Francine to herself. Francine was more beautiful, but Anna couldn’t quite distinguish why.
‘Anna, there is one thing you can do to make yourself as beautiful as me.’
‘What is it?’ asked Anna, hoping for a beauty tip, perhaps a different colour makeup or lipstick.
‘Smile,’ ordered Francine. ‘There, now you are also très belle.’
Anna caught a glimpse of herself as an attractive woman, someone she would admire.
‘And we shall celebrate with a little champagne.’ Francine brought a tray with champagne, glasses and pastries into the courtyard and poured them each a glass.
‘Here is to us belles femmes. ’ They clinked their crystal glasses.
‘Now here, Anna, I have something for you,’ said Aunt Estelle. She handed her a ring. ‘This ring belonged to your grandmother.’
Anna looked at the antique diamond and filigree ring, turning it over in her hand. She tried it on the fourth finger of her right hand. It fitted well.
Aunt Estelle explained that she had saved it for Anna’s mother. ‘And then your mother never came to see me. I was so angry and upset that I never sent it to her. And, anyway, I don’t trust the post.’
‘I’m so sorry that you didn’t have the chance to reconcile,’ said Anna. ‘I’m sure my mother missed you so much. I don’t think she ever felt at home in Australia.’
‘I am so excited you were able to come for my birthday,’ said Aunt Estelle. ‘I kept hoping your mother would visit, but it never happened. Once, I remember she was going to come, but she cancelled at the last minute. Something about you being sick, I think.’
‘Not quite. I had dental issues that took up all her money.’
‘That is why your teeth are so straight. Mine, less so.’ Francine laughed, showing her slightly crooked teeth.
‘But your family was rich, non?’ asked Aunt Estelle.
‘Rich? No, we weren’t rich.’
‘But she wrote to me about how your father ran the company he worked for and what a big house you had.’
Anna felt embarrassed for her mother, realising she must have pretended she was well off and that she had done the right thing leaving Paris behind. She silently apologised to her mother for breaking the illusion.
‘I’m sorry to tell you that our house was in a poor suburb, and my father was a labourer.’
‘But what about her dressmaker? That’s why we sent her our old clothes, so she could have them copied and made in fine fabric.’
‘She modified those clothes and wore them herself. There was no dressmaker, just a sewing machine on the kitchen table.’
‘Mon dieu.’
‘She did piecework and saved for many years to come to France. Hearing you now, I suspect she was too ashamed to come as you would have known she exaggerated about her good fortune for all those years.’
‘That is so sad.’ Aunt Estelle took a linen handkerchief from her sleeve. ‘We had a silly fight the day your mother left Paris and I never had a chance to apologise. It was over a rug. Can you believe it?’
‘An antique Aubusson rug?’ asked Anna.
‘But that is correct. It belonged to our grandmaman and I wanted to keep it here in Paris.’
‘I have the rug in my townhouse.’ Anna showed Francine a photograph of her dining room with the rug on the wall.
‘But that is wonderful. I also have photos for you to see. Francine, can you bring them please.’
Francine showed Anna old photos with the sisters dressed in similar clothes and holding hands.
‘I missed my sister so much,’ said Aunt Estelle. ‘We, ourselves, fell on hard times after the war. Maman lost most of her jewellery, her furniture. We just managed to keep this apartment.’
Anna felt tears well up inside her for her proud mother.
‘But I see that you have become rich, non?’ said Francine. ‘Your visit here, and your clothes – they are designer label, yes?’
‘Not really. I won the trip in a raffle. And these are second hand. I bought them at a fundraising sale. For Suitability.’
‘Suitability? Is that a new label?’
Anna laughed and felt a breeze on her face that matched her mood. She proceeded to explain Suitability.
‘Ah, I see. I have heard of that type of service, and I’m sure we have one in Paris. I think they started last year,’ said Francine. ‘Do you want to visit?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Très bien. It is done.’
‘Would it be all right if my friend Claire came? She started Suitability in Australia and I’m sure she would want to see how the Paris one works.’
‘Mais oui. We can make a day of it. I look forward to meeting your fr
iend.’ Francine helped her mother into the house to make her final preparations for the guests.
*
When Ted arrived in Paris a fortnight later, he showed Anna the iconic sites – the Eiffel Tower, the Champs-Elysees, Notre Dame, the Louvre. On a sunset boat ride on the Seine, he surprised her with tickets for a river cruise through France.
It was a thirteen-night cruise from Paris to Burgundy and Provence and he’d booked separate cabins. En route, they visited the site where her parents met, a small village four hours south of Paris.
In Provence, they stood in a field of poppies and Ted described the red carpet they would see if they were there a few months later.
‘These poppy buds are like our love,’ he said. ‘Full of anticipation and colour, but still protected from the glare of the sun. I want our love to blossom, like the poppies.’
Ted paused. He put his hand in his pocket.
‘I’m sorry. I’m no poet and my words are clumsy. What I want to tell you is that I love you and I want to marry you.’ He took out a small box and offered it to Anna.
Anna gasped. Thoughts wafted through her mind, like the breeze on the poppy buds.
‘Anna, say something.’
She wondered if she was ready for this change to her once ordered life.
Ted coughed, looking uneasy in her silence. ‘I know what you are thinking. That maybe we are too old to start a new life as partners.’
Anna turned her face to the sun and luxuriated in its spring warmth.
‘But I know how short and precious life is. We are too old to hesitate or to delay seeking happiness. Please, let’s not wait another minute to share our love.’
She turned towards him, took his face in her hands and kissed him with a passion she had never felt before.
‘Yes. Yes. Yes. I’ll marry you.’
30
CLAIRE
While Anna was knocking on her cousin’s door in the Marais District, Lauren and Claire walked arm in arm into the lobby of their hotel in Saint Germaine, accompanied by a bellboy wheeling a trolley with their luggage.
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