She’s quiet for a few seconds.
“Say something.”
“Cora. You’re pregnant,” she says. “There are two pink lines.”
I drop the kit and rush back to the toilet bowl. I kneel, wrap my hands around it, and empty the coffee I’d drank earlier into the bowl. Riley stands behind me and rubs my back. She’s a real friend to stand the stench that fills the bathroom. When I’m done, she flushes the toilet and helps me to my feet.
At the sink, I wash my mouth and face. I want to burst into tears. Life is a bitch. I have the thing I wanted most in the whole world, and now I don’t want it. Or rather, I do want it, but not the father.
“What the hell am I going to do?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Riley says soothingly. “Let’s go make you a cup of tea.”
I raise my eyes to the sky. “I don’t even like tea.”
“I didn’t either, but it’s soothing.” Riley takes my hand and pulls me along. “Don’t look so glum. Things have a way of working out. Admittedly, it’s scary, but you’ll be fine. And you have me and Leo and your mom and family.”
I groan. “Don’t remind me about that.”
“Why what happened?”
“My mom’s gone ape shit.”
“Yeah, I saw her in the changing room,” Riley says with a giggle.
“Not funny.” I glare at her.
“It’s probably her midlife crisis,” Riley offers.
“She’s nearly seventy. A bit too late for a midlife crisis,” I point out.
“She’ll be fine. Did you tell her anything?”
“No. I’ll talk to her during Friday dinner.”
It feels as if my world is crumbling down. Everything familiar and comforting is changing, starting with my body and my mom.
In the kitchen, I settle on the island while Riley makes the tea. I slowly get used to the idea that I’m pregnant by a man who doesn’t want a baby. He can’t heap the blame on me either because we both got carried away by our lust.
“Okay, it’s not as bad as it seems,” Riley says as she places two mugs on the island.
“Please go on.” I wrap my hands around the mug for warmth, even if it’s not cold.
“The plan was to get pregnant, right?” Riley says. “And now you are. You’ve saved yourself money by going the traditional route, and now you don’t have to wonder about the baby’s daddy because you know who he is.”
I nod. “All true and comforting except for the part where Thomas doesn’t want a baby.”
“Then he should have used protection,” Riley snaps.
I nod enthusiastically. “You’re right. He should have.”
“When are you going to tell him the good news?” Riley asks.
Chapter 6
Thomas
A soft knock comes on the door, and I bark out for the person to enter.
It’s my secretary. “There’s a couple here to see you. They don’t have an appointment—”
‘Didn’t you tell them that our opening hours are over?” I snap and immediately feel bad when a look of hurt comes over Brenda’s face.
I shake off my sour mood. I’ve been like this for almost two weeks now, and I know exactly the reason why. Cora. I wish she hadn’t come back into my life. Being with her that one night reminded me of what I was missing. I’d tasted heaven, and now I was back in hell. For that one afternoon and evening, my life had been perfect. I’d forgotten the permanent hole of emptiness I carried with me. I’d laughed harder than I had in all of three years combined.
No matter how much I hid from it, the fact was that I missed Cora. She had been more than an affair. Thinking about her now is not helpful at all. If anything, it’s just making it uncomfortable for everyone who has to be around me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell Brenda and smile at her. “I’ve been in a lousy mood, and it’s not fair to take it out on you. Please show them in.”
A look of relief comes over her features. “It’s okay; we all have those. I’ll show them in.”
Seconds later, a lanky man holds the door for his partner, a bird-like woman who looks like if I sneeze or make some other unexpected noise, she’ll turn and run. The man is composed, and he does most of the talking. They’ve been married for two years, and they wanted a baby from the beginning. Nothing has happened, and their friends, a couple we helped, referred them to our clinic. My heart constricts at the obvious pain in the man’s voice and the woman when she does speak.
I’m reminded of Cora and how much she too wants a baby. I wonder how far along she has gone in the process. I shake away thoughts of Cora. I don’t want to think about Cora’s belly swelling with another man’s baby.
The meeting goes well, and by the end of it, Kimberly, which is the woman’s name, looks a lot more relaxed. I’m glad that the day is over, and I can go home and relax. I turn off my computer, and as I gather my stuff, my cell phone beeps with a message. I’m surprised to see the message is from Cora.
Hey. Are you free to come by my place for coffee?
I don’t immediately answer. The message is so unexpected. The last time we were together, I got the idea that she never wanted to see me again. I try to think about what could have brought about the change and can’t imagine anything other than she possibly needs some moral support.
That doesn’t make sense either. She would go to Riley for moral support rather than the guy she slept with after an afternoon of too much alcohol.
But I can never say no to Cora, and to be honest, I’m curious. Cora strikes me as one of those people who rarely change their minds. The kind of person who sticks to their decision, however tough it gets. I reach for my phone.
Hey … sure. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.
Adrenalin rushes through me as I drive. I’m excited to see Cora. I try to tame my feelings, but by the time I park my car outside the gym, my palms are damp from nervous anticipation.
I ring her apartment bell, and she buzzes me into the building. Minutes later, I’m knocking on her front door. She opens the door and smiles. I suck in a breath as I meet her gaze and feel myself being pulled in by her big, innocent leaf-green eyes.
“Thanks for coming,” she says and stands to one side to let me enter.
“You’re welcome.”
I greedily inhale her scent as I walk past. The temptation to pull her into my arms is strong, but I control myself and coolly walk by. I sit on the couch and wait.
She sits opposite me and rubs her hands on her thighs. I know that gesture. Every gesture of hers from three years ago is seared into my brain. She’s nervous, and that makes me nervous too and worried.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her.
“Not really,” Cora says. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just blurt it out. I’m pregnant.”
I’m confused. “Congratulations! That was fast. It’s what you wanted, right?” I keep my voice casual, but inside, I’m reeling. The very thing I’ve been having nightmares about is happening. Cora is pregnant with another man’s child. Less than two hours ago, I was wondering if it has happened already, and now here she is confirming it for me.
“You don’t understand. I haven’t done the insemination thing,” Cora says.
“Then, how …” My voice fades away as it dawns on me what Cora is getting to. “Fuck.”
“Yeah. I’m pregnant with your child. If you’d like to—” she starts to say.
“No.” I shake my head. I try to think. A baby! I shake my head. “I don’t want a baby,” I say that aloud before I can take back the words.
Silence fills the room. Then Cora hisses. “I can’t believe you’d say something like that.”
I make as if to speak, but she stops me with a raise of her hand. “Don’t bother. Why am I surprised? You’ve never been anything but an asshole to me.”
I want to say that I’ve changed. That I’m not the asshole I was three years ago. But the words refuse to form in my mouth.
She gra
bs a cushion, and before I know what’s happening, it smacks me in the face.
“Hey, what are you doing?” My protests die in my mouth as Cora goes crazy on me. She grabs another cushion and throws it at me, hitting me square on the face.
My survival instincts kick in, and I jump to my feet and run to the door. “You’re behaving crazy.”
“Get the fuck out!” Cora screams. “I don’t need you for anything!”
I grab the door, and just as I open it, something hard hits it. I don’t pause to check what it is. I slip out and shut the door. I close the door just in time as something else hits the door.
I shake my head as I go down the elevator, catching my breath back when I enter my car. I sit there, unable to believe that the last ten minutes have actually happened.
I don’t want a baby. That much is the truth. Besides that, Cora and I do not have a relationship. We have no business having a baby together. My phone rings and I fetch it from my pocket warily, sure it’s Cora.
I’m relieved to see my brother Martin’s name on the screen. I swipe to answer it.
“Hey.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. Are you okay, man?” Martin says.
“I’m good. You?”
“Fine. Do you want to meet up for a drink? I had a rough day at work, and Fran has a late shift,” Martin says.
“A drink sounds good.” His timing is perfect. We agree to meet at a bar downtown in fifteen minutes.
Traffic is heavy, and it takes me twenty-five minutes to get to the bar. I see Martin as soon as I enter, perched on a stool at the bar.
“Hey.” I slide onto the vacant stool to his right.
“You look like you had a similar day to mine. I lost a patient on the table,” Martin says.
“Mine was rough, but I can’t compete with that,” I tell him. I feel his pain. Losing a patient is very painful, contrary to what people may believe about doctors. We do have feelings, and losing a patient cuts deep. In my specialty, it’s rare, but it does happen, and it takes me weeks to get over it.
“Welcome,” the bartender says, catching my attention. “What can I get you?”
“A cold beer would be great.”
“What happened?” Martin asks when the bartender leaves.
I turn to him. “It’s a crazy story. There’s this chic I had an affair with three years ago.” I tell him the whole tale from the beginning.
“Fuck me,” Martin says when I tell him the part about the baby. He narrows his eyes at me. “You really are an asshole.”
“She didn’t give me time to process the news,” I tell him about running for my life when Cora started throwing things at me.
Martin laughs until tears come to his eyes.
“I knew you’d turn my day around,” he says. “But seriously, though, it doesn’t matter whether you want a baby or not. You have one on the way.”
“I know,” I say miserably.
“Hey, there’s a positive spin to it,” he says.
“What?”
“We’ll all get off your back about finding someone and having a family. You’ve done it in one swipe. Wait until Fran hears this.”
I don’t even bother to tell him not to tell Fran. Martin tells her everything. If I don’t want her to know, the easiest thing is not to tell Martin. I don’t want my sister to know yet. Not until I’ve figured out what to do.
“Everyone is pregnant,” Martin muses.
“Not quite.” The bartender slides my beer and a glass in front of me. I ignore the glass and chug the beer down my throat.
“I would love to meet this woman who’s gotten under your skin,” Martin says.
“She hasn’t.”
“It makes sense. She’s the one you were mopey over three years ago, if I remember correctly. We were all worried about you, asshole.”
I shrug. “Maybe, but I got her out of my system.”
Martin raises his beer. “Congratulations, dad.”
We clink beers. “You too, dad.”
He and Fran are also pregnant. It’s early days for them as Fran is still in the first trimester. Our children are going to be cousins. It’s weird to think that I’m going to be a dad. I’d already made up my mind that a family was not for me. I’m not getting a family, though; I’m getting a child.
The idea begins to settle in. Okay, maybe a baby wasn’t in my future, but if it were, there’s no one I’d rather have a baby with than Cora. She’ll be an awesome mom. She’s responsible and kind and funny.
Yeah. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea. People these days co-parent, don’t they? I visualize a little girl who looks just like Cora.
Daddy.
My heart melts. It’s not so bad to have a baby.
“When can you guys come for dinner?” Martin says, interrupting my musings.
I laugh. “First things first. I need to get back into her good graces.”
“That’s not hard. She’s pregnant. Her hormones will soften her heart. Besides, you’re her baby’s dad. She can’t say no to you.”
Chapter 7
Cora
A ball of anxiety settles in the pit of my belly. Going to my mother’s for dinner always elicits this reaction, more so when my brother, sister, and their families will also be there. I lock my apartment door and trudge toward the lift, dreading the evening ahead.
I’m the underachiever in the family. At least I’ve always felt that way. It wasn’t any better when my dad was alive. He was a general practitioner, and my brother Caleb took after him, and my sister Adeline became a lawyer. My mother worked as my father’s secretary until they both retired. She loved and still loves reading.
And then I came along and got none of those academic genes. I loved sports, and when I grew up, I loved fitness. No one in my family understood my passion. When I got a chance to buy out the previous owner of the gym, I puzzled my family even more. My mother had even been kind enough to share what she believed my father’s thoughts would have been. He was a staunch believer in a steady paycheck. So was she. The general consensus was they would not bail me out when not if I got in trouble.
Then there’s my pregnancy. I have to tell them, and the earlier, the better. But what do I tell the truth about the baby’s dad? Just thinking about this gives me a headache. I can’t possibly admit to a one-night stand that resulted in the pregnancy. In addition to being a loser, I’ll look like a slut.
And if I were to be fully honest, I’d have to tell them that my initial plan, the one that took me to Thomas, was to have a baby by artificial insemination. I’d kept that particular decision to myself, knowing they would have tried to convince me not to do it. To hold out for love and do things the right way. My family would not understand that love just didn’t happen to everyone. I’m one of the unlucky people whom cupid never struck.
I feel sick.
It doesn’t help that my morning sickness has extended until it’s become all-day sickness. I’ve had to cancel some classes at the gym when it got too much in the last few days.
I push open the main building door and stop short when I come upon Thomas standing there.
“I’m going to assume you know someone else in this building and just walk past.”
He stands in my way. “No, it’s you I came to see.”
Unbelievable. “Can’t, no time. I’m going for dinner at my mom’s.”
“Please, Cora.”
“No.”
I place my palms on his chest, and sparks fly from his body to my hands. I give a mighty shove. He’s strong, but the surprise push is enough to nudge him out of the way. I march to my car while Thomas hurries behind me. I ignore his pleas. He has hurt me too many times, but this time, he went too far and rejected my baby. I won’t forgive him for that, and besides, I don’t need him. I won’t be the first woman in history who has to be both mom and dad to her child.
I unlock the door, enter, and get the car started. I glance at Thomas one last time, and I’m glad to see he has given
up and gone to his car. I sigh and slowly drive toward my childhood home.
Sadness comes over me when I remember Thomas’s reaction that I was pregnant. It plays over and over in my mind like a bad movie.
I don’t want a baby.
Those words are ingrained in my brain. I’d cried half the night and then made a resolution to raise my baby alone. I’m not going to force myself on anyone. Because I’ve owned my own business for years, my finances are in pretty good shape, and I can even take a long maternity leave when my baby is born.
I reach my mom’s house and ease my car into street parking. I get out of the car, and that’s when I see him parking his car behind mine. I’m stunned. I march to his car, and gesture at him to roll down his window.
“You know what this is called?”
“It’s not stalking,” Thomas says. “Not when it’s your lover, and she’s pregnant with your child.”
I go weak at the knees. I bite my lower lip and caution myself. Thomas doesn’t want babies. He said it three years ago, and he said it again just days ago. I can’t let him charm his way into my life again.
“Look, forget I said anything. Go on with your life, and I’ll go on with mine.”
He gets out of the car, and I turn to walk away. A car door bangs shut, and I hear his footsteps behind me.
“Cora!”
I grind to a halt. That’s not Thomas’s voice. I turn around in time to see my sister getting out of her car. She rushes up to me, but her gaze is on Thomas.
“Hi, Cora didn’t tell us that we were having a guest for dinner,” Adeline says to him.
She’s so well put together that no one could tell at a glance that she’s the mother of energetic three-year-old twin boys. Her black hair is silky smooth and straight and falls stylishly on her shoulders. A lot of people find it difficult to believe she’s my sister. She looks every inch like a lawyer, even now, with a sexy cream skirt suit and killer heels. I’ve barely ever worn heels in my life. I’m forever in sneakers. We’re so different that even members of our extended family like to tease my mother that she’s been keeping secrets. At some point, I suspected that I was secretly adopted.
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