One of them, I think it’s Tim, falls and lets out a loud wail, and seconds later, his brother joins him in crying. Adeline and John Mathews go to them, and within minutes, calm is restored, and the boys are on the floor playing happily with their toys. I look at them in admiration as they return to the table unfazed.
“It must be your careers,” I tell them.
“What about them?” John Mathews says.
“They’re what prepared you both for twins. I mean, it’s chaotic in the ER, isn’t it? And the courtroom is like a wrestling ring but without physical punching.”
They laugh, but I mean it. Watching my nephews as someone who is on the way to having her own child is frightening. I’m not as organized as Adeline is. Panic seizes me. What if I can’t take care of a baby? Maybe I’m not cut out to be a mother.
How do people know they can do it? Is there a survey that I should have taken before getting pregnant because from what I’ve seen this evening, I can’t hack it? I inhale deeply and shove those thoughts out of my mind before I go into full-fledged panic mode and start screaming.
I wait until dinner is under way before I tell Adeline my plan to get to know Ian. Her face becomes pinched, but before she can say anything, John Mathews speaks up.
“That sounds like a reasonable thing to do.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Adeline explodes.
“Maybe we’ve made him out to be a monster, and he’s not. And even if he is, you know what they say about keeping your enemies closer,” I say.
“No way. I’m not giving that man a minute of my time.”
I’m not surprised by her reaction. My purpose in telling her was not to change her mind. It was to inform her so that she doesn’t hear about it and go crazy on me. But now we’re on that topic, I can try to make her look at it from a different perspective as Thomas did for me.
Not that I’m holding out much hope with Adeline. She’s as stubborn as a mule. When she makes up her mind about something, it’s very difficult to dissuade her.
“I don’t want to either, but what if he’s in our mother’s life to stay. Then what?”
Adeline is stubbornly quiet.
John Mathews shoots me a sympathetic look, and then he stands up. “It’s bath time for the boys. I’ll see you later, Cora.”
“Bye,” I say and call out to the boys to enjoy their baths.
Adeline and I clear up the table and load the dishwashing machine. We make some tea, carry our mugs to the porch, and relax on the rocking chairs.
“This is perfect,” I say.
The sky is dark and dotted with the sparkles of a thousand stars. It looks like a magical night. A night where everything is a possibility.
We sip our tea companionably.
Adeline turns to me. “How is my niece doing in there?”
I pat my belly. “Good, no complaints so far. As long as he’s in there.” I let out a heavy sigh. “Watching you and John Mathews tonight frightened me. I don’t think I’m equipped to cope with a baby.”
To my surprise, Adeline laughs. “Nobody ever is, little sister.”
“But you guys look like pros. Nothing fazes you.”
“You’ll be fine, I promise. It also helps that when they’re born, they bring with them so much love that you just automatically know how to take care of them.”
“I hope so.” I sound as unsure as I feel.
“I have to admit, though, that an extra pair of hands do help. Maybe you and Thomas should move in together.”
I make a noise that implies that the chances of that happening are pretty slim. I don’t admit that I’ve entertained that very fantasy myself.
“Why don’t you think it’s possible?” Adeline asks. “People in a relationship do that all the time. Why not you and Thomas?”
Suddenly I’m tired of lying to her. “Thomas and I are not a real couple. We just happen to share a baby.”
She stops rocking her chair. “I don’t understand.”
I start at the beginning. How I planned to have a baby through a sperm donor.
“I didn’t know you wanted a baby that badly,” she says, clearly taken aback.
“Yeah.” The hard part is telling her how Thomas and I hooked up after three years.
“You slept with him less than a week after seeing him and then without protection?”
“Okay, I know I behaved slutty, but let’s move on with the story, okay?”
“I knew something was not right about the whole thing. There’s no way you’d have had a hunk like Thomas for three years and kept him hidden away.”
When I’m done with the whole story, she stares at me as if I’ve grown horns on my forehead.
“I always knew you were not right in the head, and this proves it. But something good has come out of it.”
“Kindly do tell.”
“You reconnected with the love of your life,” Adeline says happily.
“Didn’t you just hear what I said? Thomas and I are not involved romantically. To be honest, we scratch each other’s itches, but that’s about it.”
Adeline covers her ears with her hands, making me laugh. “No details, please.”
“There will be no grand proposal here. We just want to co-parent and raise our baby.”
“You two love each other. Even a blind person can see that.” Adeline takes my hand. “I’m really sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me all that so I could be there for you. I guess I haven’t been the most approachable big sister.”
“No, you haven’t,” I tell her, and she makes a face at me.
***
I’m in my car on Wortham Street, motivating myself to get out and walk up to the bar that’s clearly under renovation. In a moment of cowardice, I wish I’d taken up Thomas’s offer to come with me.
There’s nothing as difficult as treating someone with disdain and suspicion and then trying to be friendly. It feels like trying to put spilled milk back into the cup. I’m a step away from changing my mind when I remind myself why I’m doing this. It’s to give all of us peace of mind. As Thomas said, maybe if we know what kind of person he is, we won’t be so suspicious of him. I grab my purse and get out of the car.
It is not much to look at from the outside, and when I push the door and step in, it’s not any better. It looks like a bomb has gone off. There’s a lot of work to be done, and I can’t help wondering whether it’s my mother’s money that is funding all this.
“Hi, what a nice surprise,” Ian says, emerging from the shadows.
“Hi,” I say, relieved that his tone is friendly considering that Adeline and I have made our feelings very clear regarding his affair with our mother.
“Would you like a tour?” he asks, and I nod.
He talks to me the way you would a friend, and soon, my tension eases. There are builders everywhere, and we end the tour at the back garden, which is ready. It’s a lovely addition with a nice green lawn and tables covered by sky blue umbrellas.
“This is really nice,” I tell Ian as I sink into a wooden chair. “I can see myself here sipping a glass of chardonnay on a hot summer evening.”
He chuckles. “That’s the aura we want to create. Excuse me for a moment.”
The sun is warm against my skin, and I kick off my shoes and let the grass tickle my feet. Heaven.
“Here you go,” Ian says as he returns with a box of orange juice and two glasses. He serves us and sits down opposite me.
“I’m glad you came to see for yourself what we are doing here.”
I sip my juice and almost sigh as the cold drink goes down my throat. “We don’t know each other very well, do we?”
“No, we don’t,” he says. “I think that I know more about you, though. Your mother talks about you kids a lot.”
I smile, hoping that my silence encourages him to continue.
“Just to be clear, I’m not offended that you’re curious about me. Were our roles reversed, I would be too.”
He’s smooth I h
ave to admit.
“So, where do I start? Ah, the obvious one. My age. I turned fifty this year. I don’t have kids or a wife or ex-wife, though I was married for a very brief time when I was twenty-five.”
“What happened?”
“She died in childbirth, and my boy survived for an hour, and then he joined his mother.” His voice sounds so sad, and he has a faraway look on his face.
“Oh no. I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago,” he says.
“How come you didn’t marry again?” I ask and immediately realize that the question is too personal for people who are relative strangers. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It’s okay and a fair question to ask after what I told you,” Ian says. “She was the love of my life, and I was heartbroken for a very long time. After that, I just never met anyone I really connected with until I met your mother.”
I have tears in my eyes. Ian is either a very good actor or he really does have feelings for my mother and is not out to use her. Only time will tell.
***
In the evening as I’m relaxing reading a book, my mother calls me.
“I just want to say thank you for spending some time with Ian and going to see the bar. I appreciate it.” She sounds teary, and in that instant, it dawns on me how lonely it must have been for her since Dad passed on all those years ago.
Chapter 26
Thomas
I’ve missed this, I muse as my feet pound the treadmill and sweat trickles down my back. When I’m in the gym and working my body is one of the few times that my mind is empty. The other time is when I’m with Cora. I feel like a man of leisure being in the gym at 9 AM. My usual gym time was six in the morning, but I’m taking it easy in all areas of my life these days.
It’s been a rough couple of days, but not as bad as it could have been. Having Cora in my life has prevented me from going down a dark hole that would be very difficult to crawl out from. I’ve experienced all sorts of feelings from feeling inadequate that I could push my wife to have an affair to feeling a level of anger I’ve never experienced before.
Time is a healer. I’ve reached a place of acceptance after going through a roller coaster of emotions. Tessa and I had no business getting married before we were ready for the commitment that came with it.
We were in love and believed that marriage was what we wanted. I can’t speak for Tessa, but my focus had been my career in those early years. I wanted to do it all. Help as many patients as I could, learn everything I could. And I did but at the cost of my marriage. Tessa had not uttered one word of complaint, and at the time, I remember thinking how lucky I was to be married to such an understanding woman.
We should have done things differently. I should have paid more attention to my wife, and Tessa should have voiced her dissatisfaction with our marriage instead of seeking happiness in another man’s arms. I can think about that now without pain clutching my chest. It was in the past, and Tessa is gone. The mistakes that we made are buried with her.
I work out for an hour and a half, and when I’m done, every inch of my skin including my scalp is covered by sweat.
As I’m walking out, I run into Cora. My heart leaps, and heat whips through me. I’m addicted to her. How can happiness surge through me just by seeing her? I have a stupid grin on my face.
“I didn’t know that you were back with us,” she says. “You should have let me know. I’d have given you a family discount.”
“Family discount? I like the sound of that.”
Her gaze ripples over my body. “How was the work out?” she says in a husky, suggestive tone.
“Sweaty.” I match her tone.
“You look like you could do with a shower,” Cora says.
Warmth spreads over me. “I could.”
“I know just the place. Follow me,” Cora says.
We leave the gym and go through the door to the apartments above. We chat about inconsequential stuff as we go up in the elevator.
In her apartment, I go straight to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I raise my face to the water as it hits my body and cascades down it. It feels like a new beginning as if I’m washing away my past and beginning afresh. I scrub myself and then rinse off the soap. When I’m done, I step off and dry myself while humming a tune. I leave the bathroom, and when I step into the master bedroom, I grind to a halt at the sight before me.
I inhale deeply as all my blood drops down to my cock. Cora is lying on the bed completely naked, looking so beautiful and inviting as she meets my gaze.
“I’m going to be quite the gym rat if this is the reward I get each time.”
Cora’s laughter dies in her throat when I drop my towel to reveal my erect cock. I join her on the bed and pull her into my arms. We kiss and make unhurried love. I explore every part of her skin, and when I penetrate her, we both orgasm intensely, leaving us feeling drained.
“I could stay here all day,” Cora says.
It sounds so tempting, but I don’t want to be the reason she’s neglecting her work. “How does your calendar look today?” I ask her.
“I’ve delegated all my classes until further notice. What’s on your mind, lover?” she says.
“Let’s make this a lazy Monday,” I say while softly stroking her back.
Something is happening to me, and as much as I try to control it, it’s not containable. My feelings for Cora are growing by the day. When I look at her or hold her in my arms like I’m doing now, my heart feels as though it will explode from the love I feel for her.
I desperately wish that I were a different sort of man. One whose heart is not so easily bruised. I’d take a chance and try to make it work with Cora, but I just don’t have the heart for it. Even if I’ve almost come to terms with Tessa’s unfaithfulness, I still feel as if my heart has been run over by a truck. I can’t do it again. I can’t put myself out there, so I’ll enjoy this ride until the baby comes. Then I’ll move on with my life. I still have so many goals that I want to achieve concerning my work.
We doze off, and then at noon, Cora’s hunger wakes us up, and we go to the kitchen half-naked to prepare a light lunch.
As we are munching our sandwiches on the island, Cora starts to giggle.
“What?” I ask her. “Do I have food on my face?”
She laughs so hard that for a few moments, she can’t speak. “I just remembered the way you looked when I walked into your office at the fertility clinic that first time.”
I chuckle as the memories wash over me. “I couldn’t believe I was seeing you again. A few minutes later, and I couldn’t stand up from my chair.”
A look of concern is drawn on her pretty face. “Why what happened?”
“I had a massive hard-on,” I said straight-faced.
Cora laughs and pushes me. “You’re lying. You couldn’t have been thinking about sex at the moment.”
“I was.”
“You’re a perv,” she says.
“Only when it comes to you.”
She smiles but doesn’t say anything. We eat in comfortable silence and when we’re clearing up, the conversation moves to the baby. I’m still not feeling that connection, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I plan on being a present dad. I plan on showing up.
“Dr. Phillips talked about birth options,” Cora says. “What are your thoughts on taking pain medication when giving birth?”
Her voice trembles as she speaks, and I lean forward and kiss her cheek. I’d happily swap places with her and bear the childbirth pain. “What matters is you and what you feel comfortable doing. I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”
“Thanks,” Cora says.
“There’s no shame in using pain medication. Some people have a low threshold for pain. Others are happy to bear it. It’s a very personal decision.”
“I’m a little scared, to be honest. I’ve been watching a lot of childbirth videos online, and they frighten me.”
She makes a face. “I didn’t want to, but of course, I heard about it. Adeline handled the birth of her twins the way she does everything else, with awesome courage. She’s a bulldozer.”
“We all have different strengths and weaknesses. The trick is never to compare ourselves with others.”
“Easy for you to say when everyone in your family thinks the sun shines from your ass.”
I laugh at her choice of words. “For your information, they do not. As a matter of fact, when I need to be brought down to earth, I can count on them to do it and not in the nicest way.”
She smiles. The terrified look is gone from her face.
“You should attend birth classes,” I tell her. “Nothing, of course, can show you exactly what the experience of giving birth will be like but knowing will help, I believe.”
“Riley was planning on attending before she was put on bed rest,” she says. She gives it some thought and then nods. “Okay, I’ll look into it.”
My phone vibrates, and I pick it up from the island countertop. It’s my mother. I’m a grown man but anxiety forms in the pit of my stomach. I’m so used to working that it feels as if I’m doing something wrong by being home on a weekday. And my mother knows it too, hence the call.
“Hi, Mom,” I say. Cora makes as if to leave to give me some privacy, but I signal to her to stay put.
My mother and I ask after each other’s health, and then she gets into the reason why she called.
“We haven’t seen Cora in ages, and we’d love to spend some time with her. Can you bring her along for Friday dinner?”
“I know she’s missed you guys too. Dinner sounds awesome but—”
Cora nods at me vigorously and makes spoon-to-mouth gestures.
“Actually, I’m sure that she’d love too,” I say, and Cora gives me a thumbs up.
“Great,” my mom says happily.
We wind up the conversation, and as I look at Cora, gratitude floods me at how kind she is to my parents.
“You don’t have to, you know,” I tell her. “My mom can get a little intense.”
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