by Olivia Miles
Jenna knew that now. She’d been silly to let Travis’s offhanded comment ever shake her confidence about that.
She stepped aside to let the next customer place their order and made her way over to the table where Keira was making quick work of her cupcake, meaning Jenna would happily share hers. A gust of sharp wind cut through the otherwise warm room, and Jenna looked up in surprise when she saw who it was. “Suzanne? I thought you had to be down in Florida! Are you back for the holidays?”
Or, back to stay? Jenna had started to think that Travis might be more than a temporary part of town—and her life—but seeing Suzanne here brought on a mix of emotions.
“I couldn’t bear a Christmas without snow, and my mother has improved a lot these past few weeks. Enough for me to bring her back here for at least the holidays.”
“So you’ll be going back then?”
“My mother needs me, even though I can tell that I’m getting on her nerves. She says I fuss over her too much.” Suzanne gave a guilty shrug and said to Maddie, “One of those delicious candy cane brownies, Maddie. Actually, on second thought, make that two.”
“One for your mother?” Maddie asked brightly.
Suzanne’s cheeks flushed. “Make that three, then.”
Maddie gave Suzanne a wink and opened the display case, but Jenna still felt uneasy. These past few weeks had been so wonderful and she hadn’t prepared herself for it to all come to a sudden end.
“Oh, look at me, being rude. How did the pageant go in my absence? I assume that you and Mr. Pritchard had it all under control as usual.” She gave a fond smile.
Jenna stared at her. “There was no pageant. I thought you knew?”
Suzanne frowned. “Why ever not? You love the pageant! And it’s Mr. Pritchard’s final year!”
Jenna’s heart was pounding as she stared at the woman, who looked every bit as confused as Jenna felt. If Suzanne didn’t know about the pageant, that also meant that she’d had no intention of canceling it. And that maybe, she felt the same way about the music department.
“The music department doesn’t have enough funding,” Jenna said slowly. “It’s at risk of being cut?” She tipped her head in question, looking for affirmation nearly as much as she hoped not to hear it.
Suzanne’s mouth gaped. “I was aware that there was some pressure from the board regarding the budget, but I can assure you, Jenna, that before I left, I presented a plan to scale back on several smaller items that would have little to no impact on the curriculum as it stands. The board never pushed to cut the music program, specifically.”
Jenna’s mouth felt dry as everything started to form a clearer picture.
“Suzanne?” Maddie smiled at her from the counter and held up a bakery bag. “Your order is set.”
“Oh, thank you!” Suzanne gushed as she rushed toward the bag. She took a long, deep smell and closed her eyes. “I couldn’t imagine a Christmas without your candy cane brownies, Maddie.”
Maddie’s cheeks flushed with pride when she turned to the next customer, who placed the same order.
Jenna was still trying to make sense of this conversation. “I…I don’t understand what’s going on, Suzanne.”
Only she did. And she had the sinking feeling that she had been right all along. That Travis Dunne was nothing but a Scrooge. A man without a heart. And that he had ruined a beloved Christmas tradition without any thought or remorse.
But then she thought of the man she’d come to know, the man who had baked cookies and built gingerbread houses, who had encouraged her to play the piano in front of a cheering crowd.
The man who had kissed her. The man who had made her realize what all the hype was about—not about Christmas. But about love.
She gave Suzanne a pleading look, hoping for some sort of explanation.
Suzanne looked torn as she slipped the bakery bag into her tote. She squeezed Jenna’s arm and said, “We’ll figure this out. Whoever thought that the music department and the Christmas pageant weren’t worth fighting for isn’t worth keeping around.”
Jenna took no solace in Suzanne’s passionate stance. The man that wasn’t worth keeping around was Travis.
Jenna left Keira with Maddie and pushed out the door of the bakery. The slippery patches on the sidewalk didn’t slow Jenna’s pace any more than the lake effect wind made her feel the need to stop and button her coat. She hurried up to Main Street with a pounding heart, replaying her conversation at the bakery over and over, until there was no question or doubt left in her mind.
It wasn’t all coming from the board. There had been one person standing between the pageant and the music program existing or not, and the decision rested with Travis.
Tears blurred her vision as she hurried across the street, but by the time she reached the door to the Carriage House Inn, she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. This man wasn’t worth crying over. The music department, her dreams, and the gift she’d wanted to give those children, that was worth crying over, but not now.
Travis was already seated at the bar, and he looked up and grinned at her when she approached, his expression folding to one of confusion when he saw the look on her face.
“Is something wrong?” He scanned her face for an explanation.
“You could say that. You could say a lot of things are wrong.”
“Here, let me take your coat.” He held out an arm but she took a step backward.
“I just talked with Suzanne. The former principal. I guess she’s back in town for one last Christmas before she moves south to be near family. I suppose congratulations are in order. You earned a permanent position.”
Travis’s expression was unreadable. “I thought you’d be happy to hear that I was staying. I planned to tell you, today, in fact.”
“And did you also tell me that you curried favor with the board by agreeing to their budget cuts, or rather, offering up a neat and tidy solution?”
Travis pulled in a breath and closed his eyes, confirming her suspicions and erasing any remaining doubt that she was holding onto. It wasn’t until then, with her heart sinking into her stomach, that she realized just how much she had wished that this hadn’t been true.
“I didn’t decide anything, Jenna. The school’s budget was a mess, and when I took over the position, I did the best I could with it. It would have been irresponsible of me to pretend there wasn’t a problem.”
“So you suggested cutting the pageant?”
He closed his eyes for a brief moment. “I viewed the pageant as an extra expense. The costumes, the props, all rented for a price that the school couldn’t afford.”
She almost didn’t dare ask the most burning question, even though she already suspected the answer. “And did they decide to cut the music department next year?”
Travis didn’t need to speak to give her an answer. The resignation in his eyes said everything.
“And let me guess, you were the one who suggested that, too?”
“When I first came, yes, but—”
She held up a hand. “You suggested it, and you clearly got your way.”
He huffed out a breath in frustration. “Believe me, Jenna, if it could have been avoided, I would have found another way.”
“I wish I could believe you, but I don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “When you believe in something, when you want something bad enough, you fight for it. Just like everyone fought for the library. I had hope, thinking that Suzanne was coming back… You gave me that hope.”
“It was always possible that she would return. My position was temporary. Maybe Suzanne would have overturned things, or found a way.”
“But you just said there wasn’t a way,” she pointed out.
She could tell by the silence that she had him there, that she was right, even when she’d never wanted more badly to be proven wrong.
“Look, I’m telling you the truth, Jenna. Maybe I was harsh at first, but I’ve gotten to know you, and I see how much you car
e. And I care, Jenna. I care about you.”
“Funny way of showing it,” she said, shaking her head.
“It wasn’t personal, Jenna.”
“Oh, it was very personal. To me. And this?” She pointed her finger at his chest and back at her own. “This isn’t personal at all. And I shouldn’t be surprised, because you’ve made a point of that, haven’t you? Keeping everyone at arms’ length, never getting too close?”
“Jenna, this isn’t what I wanted.”
“No, and what did you want?” She folded her arms across her chest and waited with a pounding heart to see if he would say something to undo all of this, to make it all different or better.
“That’s just the thing, Jenna. I didn’t know what I wanted. Maybe I never have. Maybe that’s why I’ve bounced around so much, following in my mother’s footsteps even though it had never made me happy. But here, I was happy. I found what I was looking for, and…I wanted to stay.”
But staying meant on his terms, meaning no music department, no thought to what made her happy, or the children for that matter.
“It’s too bad Suzanne didn’t come back after all,” she said angrily. “Not just for the school. But because this town doesn’t need someone like you coming in and stealing its joy. Because you don’t understand what that program meant to those kids. Or to me.”
His eyes looked injured when she turned to walk away, but she told herself not to care. She couldn’t care, not about someone who had broken her trust, and, somehow along the way, her heart too.
Chapter Fifteen
Christmas Eve Eve was apparently a thing, at least to Mabel Gibney. Whereas tomorrow night would be reserved for hot chocolate and the much-anticipated carolers that knocked on every door, tonight was for sitting by the tree and watching yet another holiday movie. Traditions came in all shapes and sizes, Travis was learning, but each one was special.
He crouched beside the fire and fed it another log. Behind him, his grandmother was sitting in her favorite chair, watching a movie that he now assumed she’d seen at least thirty times, given the way she kept saying the lines a few seconds before the actors.
But he wasn’t paying attention, more like tuning it out. Jenna’s words were sharp in his mind, and worse, they were true. But what he’d said was true, too. And now…well, now it was probably time to break the news to his grandmother before she heard it from someone else.
“There was a board meeting earlier this week,” he said at the commercial break. “The last of the calendar year.” He waited for her to ask a question, but she just looked at him in that patient way of hers, prompting him to continue. “They’ve offered me a full-time position. I guess they’re happy with what I’ve done in my short time there.”
She beamed, as he knew she would, and he braced himself for what he had to say next.
“Oh, of course they were happy with what you’ve done! Tell me, what do you think it was that cinched the deal? How great you are with the kids? And the staff?”
Travis huffed out a breath and studied the flickering flames. “I agreed to their budget cuts. I had an objective point of view, what I saw made sense, and…I wasn’t emotionally invested.” Until now. Now he saw things so much more clearly.
“Well, this is the best Christmas gift I have received since your mother was born.” Gran’s eyes misted slightly.
Travis looked at her, momentarily distracted. “You rarely mention her. I know you were disappointed she never visited.”
“She didn’t love Blue Harbor as I do. She wanted an adventure, and she was always chasing something bigger and more exciting. And I think she never quite got over your father breaking her heart,” Gran added sadly.
Travis nodded. As he’d grown older, it was easier to understand the choices his mother had made, but somehow, however unintentionally, he’d always managed to follow in her footsteps.
“Those cookies you made, well, they were your mother’s favorite. I haven’t had them in years. Eating them again made me think of how much I miss her.”
Travis swallowed the lump in his throat, letting the room fall silent for a moment. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Oh, you didn’t!” Gran said brightly. “It made me miss her, but it also made me remember all the good times we spent together, here in this house. Some people don’t like holding on to the past, but I like to keep it alive.”
“The thing is, Gran.” Travis waited a moment before he hurt the one person he never intended to hurt. Other than Jenna. “I don’t think I’m going to accept the position.”
His grandmother frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”
“I don’t agree with my initial position, and I think if I tell the board that, the offer will be rescinded.” He looked at her squarely. “I’ve caused a lot of problems in a very short time. I think I should leave and let someone who knows the heart of this town take over the position instead.”
“Nonsense! But you do know the heart of this town. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you found your heart in this town, my boy.”
He nodded slowly. He couldn’t argue with her there. He’d found something special in this town. The possibility of love. The dream of a home. Maybe even the spirit of Christmas.
“I’m responsible for there not being a pageant this year. I didn’t know how much it meant to the children, or Mr. Pritchard, or Jenna. I saw an easy way to scale things back, and I made a decision that looked good on paper. Unfortunately, the board agreed. And as part of that initial discussion, this will also be the final year for the school’s music program.”
There was a long pause before Gran finally spoke. “Oh, Travis.”
“I know. I’ve let people down, people you care about, and…people I’ve come to care about.” He reached out and took her hand. It felt thin and papery, but soft and warm. “I never meant to disappoint you.”
Her eyes squinted into a smile as she reached out to pat his cheek. “Oh, my boy. The only thing you could do to disappoint me right now is to not take that job!”
He pulled back. Hadn’t she heard a word he’d said? “But, Gran. I’ve done too much damage. I came in as outsider—”
“And now you’re one of us.” She gave him a knowing smile. “Moving all the time and running away from your problems is the easy way. Staying put and making things work, that takes courage.”
“But, Gran.” Travis shook his head. “I’ve ruined things for people here. I can’t undo it, I tried.” Oh, he’d tried suggesting they rethink the budget, but it had been too late, the solution was in place, so many problems had been solved that the board wouldn’t even reconsider.
“Christmas is a time for hope,” his grandmother said. “And sometimes even a miracle. If you want this to work, you’ll find a way. You still have time to make everything right before Christmas, and wouldn’t that be the greatest gift of all?”
Travis chewed his lip, imagining if such a thing were possible, but sitting here, looking at the twinkle in his grandmother’s eye, he knew it was true just like he knew why she’d never left this town, even when she had no family left in it.
Blue Harbor had come together to save the library. And he was going to do everything he could to see that they saved the music department too.
As with every year, Christmas Eve seemed to come quietly and surprisingly, a bittersweet reminder that the season had passed quickly, but the best of it was still to come.
Jenna did not feel the same level of optimism this year.
Normally, after caroling, she’d head over to her childhood home, where she could warm her cold hands near the crackling fireplace, sip the hot chocolate that her mother kept on the stove, and nibble popcorn and cookies while watching It’s a Wonderful Life.
Tonight, as she shuffled along with the rest of her group to the next house on Spruce Street, she could think of nothing better than going back to her apartment, changing into her flannel pajamas, and crawling into bed.
“Oh, not this one!”
Leonard reminded them, giving them a look of warning.
Of course, this house had changed hands two years back, and the new owners had small children and hadn’t appreciated the “noise” as they’d called it.
“A shame that not everyone has a Christmas spirit.” Candy shook her head, but only after narrowing her eyes on the window of the small cottage.
Though most of Blue Harbor was accessible by foot or bicycle during the warmer months, the winter was unforgiving, and for that reason, the choir had broken out into five small groups, each covering a different part of town so that no house would be missed, unless specified.
Jenna’s group consisted of Leonard, the Healys, who owned the farm next to Conway Orchard, and Candy, of course. Seeing as they were family, it only made sense, especially as all of their family member’s homes were on their stops.
Jenna was looking forward to seeing a friendly face or two as they rounded the corner and began their way down Juniper Street, but she halted when the group started to make its way up an unexpected footpath.
“I don’t think we should do this house,” she said, remaining firmly on the sidewalk.
Leonard looked at her in confusion. “But Mabel loves our carols! She’s never missed a year.”
It was true, so very true, and as much as Jenna regretted the thought of disappointing Mabel, she couldn’t bear the thought of facing her grandson. Tonight. Or ever again.
Luckily, since he’d played such a huge role in scrapping the Christmas pageant and music program, she probably never would.
“My throat is bothering me.” She held a hand to her neck, her fingers skimming the lace collar that was part of the elaborate costume. “You guys go ahead. I’ll join you at the next house.”
She looked around for a place to hide, settling on the shadow of a large evergreen, where the moon wouldn’t shine down and draw any attention to her.
“Nonsense!” Candy exclaimed. “We need you for our harmony!”