“Well now that you’ve said what you wanted to, you know what to do.” What I hated most about all of this was the abuse of trust.
He nodded, stepped around me, and left.
I went inside my apartment and slammed the door.
Everything was a damn mess.
I wasn’t sure how Jeff thought it would be as simple as fixing it.
As far as Todd went, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
Chapter 5
Kelly
“Thanks for letting me stay over,” I told Paige. She’d just walked into her guest room with a tray of much-needed cookies.
Ice cream for breakfast and cookies for supper. What a sure way to pile on the pounds.
I’d planned to do a juice fast for the next three days.
“Don’t be silly,” she replied, setting the cookies down on the bed. She sat on the edge and shuffled over to hug her knees to her chest.
Ryan tapped on the door and poked his head in with a smile that grew wider when he looked at his wife.
“I’m heading out. Do you girls want anything?” he asked.
“Can you get us some mini marshmallows and that double swiss chocolate?” Paige cooed.
“Anything for you babe…and adopted babe.” He motioned to me.
I smiled. He was such a sweet guy. I was so glad Paige was with him.
“Thank you,” I replied.
Paige blew him a kiss; he gave her a wink and he left us.
She turned back to me with a smile.
“You’re so lucky to have him,” I mused.
She reached out her hand and took mine, giving me a gentle squeeze. “I might not have had him if I hadn’t listened to a certain best friend of mine.” She giggled. “Remember that good old game of truth or dare and you made me choose dare?”
How could I forget?
I’d been drunk off my face at the bar and dared her to pick any guy and ask him what his favorite sexual position was. She’d picked him not knowing who he was. Boy did she get the shock of her life when she walked into work the next day to find out he wasn’t just her mentor, but the medical director’s son.
“It worked out in the end though right?” I gave her a little shrug.
She laughed. “It worked out. Your turn.” Her eyes brightened like she’d just gotten an idea. “Truth or dare?”
I chuckled. We hadn’t played that game in a while. Maybe it was a sign that we were growing up, although I’d always imagined us playing that game until we were little old ladies with sticks daring each other to run down a path, or who could cross the road faster.
“Dare.” It was the safer option. I hadn’t exactly shared why I was there.
I called her after lunch asking if I could have a girlie sleepover tonight. That was me sending out the bat signal for help and not saying what I needed help with.
After I’d spoken to Devon this morning all I wanted to do was go home, or just go somewhere.
Following that whole encounter, I’d spent the day in a daze, walking around and going through the motions but not really focusing.
I didn’t feel like telling her the truth. The sly expression that washed over my friend’s face, however, told me I might be.
“I dare you to tell me the truth. I heard a little bird in the form of my brother-in-law raging about how unfair things were because one called Devon Sawyer had just been let back in the program.”
I gasped. “You know?”
“I know enough. So I dare you to tell me the truth instead of keeping me in suspense. Here, have a cookie. The sugar will give your brain a good kickstart.” She smiled and handed me a cookie.
I took it and the seriousness returned to her face.
“We’re in the same group. Dr. Morgan turned out to be his godfather. He’s placed Devon and me together for eternity and Devon wants me back.”
Her lips parted. “All of that today?”
“All of that today. I’m not sure which part irks me more, or which I should focus on.”
“What part do you want to focus on?”
“None of it. I’m serious. I want none of it.” I raised my shoulders and dropped them. “This year’s program design sounds amazing.”
Last year was the year I grew into my abilities and I knew what I wanted to do. I took a keen interest in vascular surgery and couldn’t wait to start this year for that reason.
I’d had the opportunity to do another mini research about vascular diseases and that was where it took off. Essentially, I’d found my thing in life. It was a different type of excitement to being a surgeon.
“I get that. My program is amazing too. But Kelly, what about life?”
“I have a life. I date almost every week and you know that’s the toned down version of me.” I went wild after Devon left. Wild and reckless. It wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad either.
But it was no real way to live. Going from one guy to the next and not really knowing them or getting to know them. I didn’t want to do that. But I didn’t want the worry of being in a serious relationship either and having that person leave me. Like before.
“Kelly, I’m not going to tell you to give him another chance. It’s not my place to do that. What I will say is that it would be better for the sake of work to be cordial. If you’re stuck together the way you are you’ll regret spoiling the experience you could have by dwelling on him.”
I sighed and looked her over. I wasn’t sure when it was she’d become so wise. She’d said all the words I would have said to her. It was just easier saying them. Doing it was a whole other matter.
“Every time I think of him it’s hard to separate out what happened between us. I never expected this. I accepted that he’d moved on. My plan was to forget him completely at the wedding. This whole thing feels forced on me. Like I’m being pushed to do something I don’t want to do.”
“I know. I think given the sensitive nature of it all I’m gonna advise you the same as you did me. Open mind.”
“Open mind? Wouldn’t that be me giving him some kind of chance?”
“Nope. It is not. It is simply you shedding the shit from your mind and keeping your mind open so you can be friends. When you agreed to go to his wedding you said you felt better. I think you’ll feel better when you do this. Focus on the aspect of work.”
Work.
My truest companion.
That part was something I definitely could do.
***
I was in full-blown work mode when I got to the hospital the next day.
I got there just before seven.
Devon was there too. He was in the foyer of the research center grabbing a cup of coffee from the machine.
It was just us.
Tension coiled my insides when he turned around and saw me.
Deciding I’d give Paige’s advice a try, I opened my mind.
“Morning,” I spoke first.
“Morning. Do you want a cup?” he asked, motioning to the machine.
“Sure, thanks.”
He pressed the button for a double espresso and the machine started churning. It finished a minute later with a strong cup of coffee. Just what I needed. He handed it to me.
“Thank you,” I told him as I took it. Our fingers brushed slightly, sending a scatter of nerves down my arm.
I took a sip and lifted my head to meet the warm brown eyes that gazed on at me with curiosity.
“Kelly…”
“Yes, Devon?”
“I’m sorry.” He nodded and pulled in a steady breath. “For everything. I get it. I screwed up and this is it. I’ve decided I just need to leave you alone. We have to work together on this research and it’s an important year. The last thing I want to do is mess it up. The fact that you’re here says a lot. So I guess I just wanted you to know you don’t have to worry about me with any craziness.”
I blinked and refocused on him. I wished I could have felt the relief
I was supposed to have with that declaration. Instead, a little bubble of disappointment fluttered into the pit of my stomach.
“Okay…thanks. I think,” I replied.
We stared at each other for a few seconds as an awkward silence filled the space between us.
“Coin was wrong this time,” he suddenly said with an awkward smile.
“What?”
He pulled out his lucky coin from his back pocket. “Heads she’ll come back to me. Tails leave her alone.” He flipped the coin and it landed on heads. “See, it’s wrong. Same thing happened this morning. But I lost you.”
With a curt nod he moved away from me just as Dr. Morgan was coming in with Connor and Adrian. They were asking questions about the research. Devon joined in the chatter.
I continued to stare at him.
He’d never gone against his coin before, but it looked like he’d started.
I knew the worst thing I could do was open my heart with my mind, but I’d forgotten that to me, that meant one and the same thing.
Open mind, open heart.
My heart, that I’d only ever successfully managed to lose to one person.
Him.
Chapter 6
Devon
“You can’t smoke in here.” I winced and fanned away the smoke.
I didn’t know why I bothered, the room was actually full of it.
Cigarettes were the one thing I’d never been able to stand the smell of.
Coach Fratelli reeked of it.
He put the cigarette out and smiled at me. “You my doctor?” he asked in a thick New York accent. It was actually more of a New York Italian accent.
“I’m one of your doctors. I’m Dr. Sawyer. You really need to give up smoking if this treatment is going to have any kind of effect on you,” I cautioned. He’d gotten the way he was because of years of smoking. It was so bad he was on the list to have both legs amputated.
He had peripheral arterial disease.
It was a condition where the arterial vessels would narrow and in critical cases like his there was severe obstruction of blood flow to the limbs. Years of heavy tobacco smoking contributed toward it, and when they say years it was literally years. The research showed patients who’d been smoking in their early teens. Coach Fratelli’s medical history pegged him at smoking since he was fourteen.
I knew we were always supposed to be objective and not judge. But I couldn’t help it.
I didn’t think I could allow myself to get to such a stage and not stop after being warned multiple times that I could lose my legs. This guy had though. Fuck. I’d seen his records. I’d read over his file and damn he’d been given the warning from the get-go. You’d think anyone who not only played ice hockey but coached a national team would adhere and take heed.
Not him though, and it didn’t look like he was going to be listening to me either.
It started with a smirk, tipping the corners of his mouth, then inched into a wide smile. The kind that stank of money. Coach Fratelli had money and that was why he was here.
I knew all too well that people who had more money than they could handle did stupid things.
“No, I’m not giving up my cigarettes and my beautiful Cubans, hell no. That is not how this is going to work.” He wagged his finger at me and in the same breath started coughing. It was that heavy smoker’s cough that rumbled from deep within. Harsh, raspy, and loud. So loud it echoed. This guy really was in the advanced stages and from what I’d read I was surprised he’d evaded lung cancer.
He made a fist and pounded hard on his chest. It actually seemed to loosen the constriction that made him cough.
The smile returned to his face but at the same time he furrowed his salt and pepper brows as he regarded me.
“There, all better.”
“Like I said. You should cut smoking,” I repeated.
“You’re just here to make my headache worse, aren’t ya?” He tapped the side of his head and his scowl deepened.
“This treatment will be more effective if you comply with the things we advise. If you continue to smoke then you’re just creating a funnel for the problem to continue, if not get worse.”
He held up one finger and made a show of swiveling it around. “One year. That’s all I want. One more year of having my legs then they can fall off for all I care.”
Oh God…he was going to be one of those people. I could be compassionate. In fact, I was. I had the whole package that came with being a doctor. Compassion and tact.
However, when it came to people who just wanted a temporary fix for a limited time so they could fall back into the shit they’d gotten themselves into, I was ready to bale.
“Why do you need just one more year?” I had to ask the question.
“My grandson,” he answered. He cleared his throat and pulled in a ragged breath. “I’ve recently started talking to my son again. Or, rather, he’s recently started talking to me. He’s on a project in Japan until next month and he’s coming back to the states with his wife and my twelve-year-old grandson who loves to skate. I’m doing this for him. I taught him to skate and the kid is a real go-getter. I want one year to train him. That is all. I reckon that’s all it will take.”
I actually never expected him to say that. I figured it might be something else, something frivolous.
“The hope for this treatment is to prolong and evade the option of amputation. Wouldn’t you want more than a year if it’s successful?” I had to put it that way—vague—simply because there was never any real certainty with anything. This was a clinical trial and while there had been some successful results we had to accept that everyone was different. Everyone responded differently to everything we did as doctors.
“I just want a year. You heard my cough and I saw your face. I’m gonna guess you thought I was lucky I didn’t have cancer yet.”
I tensed at being called out on being so transparent. I couldn’t deny my thoughts. It was actually true.
“I’m sorry, it’s just the first thing we think of as doctors when we advise against smoking, especially the way you’re doing it.” It looked to me like he alternated between cigarettes and cigars.
He laughed and it was a rasp too. “You doctors are all the same. You tell it like it is and don’t beat around shit. I like that. Anyway, I reckon that will get me. Something will get me. Maybe even before the year I hope for. I know I’m a worst case scenario. The way I see if is this: if I’m here and it’s got this far I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s other things wrong with me. I’m nearly seventy, so I’m not stupid. This is all I want though. A chance to be on the ice with my grandson the way I want.”
I simply nodded. “Okay. Well, we will do our best.”
“He wants to join the little league. You seen Mighty Ducks?”
I chuckled. “I grew up on it. Great film.”
The door opened and Kelly came in. Jeff had allocated this time for us to meet Coach Fratelli. This wasn’t one of those times when we had to meet together. He’d assigned a block of time in our schedule where we could come and introduce ourselves.
I was hoping to do as much as I could without her.
“Wow.” Coach Fratelli gasped when she walked in. “If I’d known my doctors were going to be this beautiful I would have checked in sooner.”
Beautiful…yes, he was definitely right about that.
At least that was one thing we could agree on.
Like me, Kelly had on her white overcoat and green scrubs on underneath that. Standard and average. It was just that she made standard and average look off-the-charts amazing.
She wore that gorgeous mass of velvet hair down and the long graceful waves curled about her elbows. Her bright blue eyes were more enhanced with a subtle yet striking smoky eye blend, and the thick fan of her lashes cast a shadow over her high cheekbones.
I had to swallow to stop myself from drooling and willed my eyes not to really take in
the rest of her body.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Parker,” she introduced herself and Coach Fratelli didn’t just take her hand when she moved over to shake his hand. The old charmer took her hand, raised it to his lips, and gave her a kiss on her knuckles.
“And I am all yours,” he told her.
“Alright Casanova,” I cut in. Maybe I was jealous.
Maybe?
Who was I kidding? I was jealous as hell and in a state of flux because I kept going against my damn lucky coin. Last night I placed it in my drawer with all the other stuff Grandpa gave me. I wasn’t going to use it anymore.
It was obviously bullshit because it kept landing on heads, holding on to my girl coming back to me.
Coach Fratelli frowned at me as he released her hand.
“You watch yourself boy. Don’t act like you didn’t think she was beautiful when you saw her. I’m just getting there first,” he informed me.
Kelly laughed. “Flattered as I am,” she intoned, “I’m just here to meet you.”
He looked back to her. “And I’m so glad we have met. Will I be seeing much of you?”
“Yes. You will. I will be here every day because I want your treatment to be a success, so that means no more smoking. I’m going to arrange for a therapist to see you and ween you off those.”
“Okay,” Coach Fratelli agreed easy peasy and my mouth fell open.
“Hey, that’s not fair,” I stated with a chuckle. “I told you the same. I told you to stop smoking.”
He looked to me with that smirk on his face. “She’s prettier than you.”
Right, okay.
I just shook my head at him. It looked like we were in for one interesting time with this guy.
Maybe interesting was good because this really seemed to be it. This was all I would see of Kelly. We’d be professional. Strictly professional in every sense.
She didn’t even look at me as she continued to talk with him.
***
I went to see my parents after work. Only because I was starting to feel bad that I hadn’t done so yet.
Dr Sawyer Page 4