by Brook Wilder
Though I doubted Seth would shoot me. Maybe ten years ago, but not now.
“You are remembering, aren’t you? Do you know how much-”?
“Alisha? What is going on here?”
I turned to find Jon standing a few feet away, his hand on his gun and his eyes on Seth. Oh great. I thought he would look for that restaurant just a little bit longer. Sure, I had sent him on a fool’s errand, having caught Seth’s reflection in one of the store windows.
I’d wanted to confront Seth alone.
“What’s going on?” Jon asked again, closing the distance between us. “What did he do?”
“Nothing, officer,” Seth drawled, putting some distance between us, that lazy grin on his face. That was how he had gotten his street name, his grins and easy laughter, even when he was facing down the barrel of a gun.
This gun was my rogue partner.
“He was following us,” I offered up lamely. “I detained him.”
“She has no reason to hold me,” Seth added, winking at me.
I gave him a look of disgust and he laughed, clearly enjoying my discomfort.
Jon stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Seth. “I’m sure she has a shit ton of reasons to detain you.”
“Then I would like my lawyer present,” Seth said easily, his eyes locking on mine over Jon’s head. “You want her number, Alisha?”
“You deal with me,” Jon growled. “Not her.”
I rolled my eyes and lightly pushed Jon aside. “He’s right. I don’t have enough to hold him right now, but I will soon enough.”
“I’ll be looking forward to that day,” Seth said as I walked behind him.
After pulling my knife out of my boot, I slashed the plastic, releasing his hands.
“Thanks. Those were starting to chafe.”
“I’m sure it’s a feeling you have felt before,” Jon replied as I replaced my knife. “And will feel again.”
Seth held up his hands jokingly. “Don’t shoot, officer. I’m unarmed.”
“Yeah I doubt that,” I muttered, knowing he preferred to keep a gun in his riding boot instead of a knife. “Go on, get out of here before I change my mind.”
“Good to see you, Alisha,” Seth said as he walked past. “Don’t be a stranger.”
I growled, stalking past Jon toward the restaurant. “Come on. I need food.”
Jon didn’t say a word as he followed me into the cozy Italian place on the corner, a staple since I was a kid. It wasn’t until we were seated in the back, with iced teas on the table in front of us when he spoke. “So, you care to tell me what that was about back there?”
I sat back in my chair, toying with the straw paper. “Seth is part of the same biker club I was. I was a difficult teenager and got caught up in the wrong crowd.”
Jon frowned. “He seemed to know you pretty well, Alisha. Were you two an item back then?”
“We were in the same club,” I reiterated, not wanting to tell him about our relationship. It was none of his business and I knew it would just cause more trouble between us. “That’s my old life. After the death of my sister, I turned it around, alright?”
Jon didn’t look like he believed me, but I didn’t care what he believed. Seeing Seth tonight had really rattled me to the core, reminding me of how fragile I had been leading up to Janie’s death, and how much I had missed him in the weeks following our breakup.
I had left him for a good reason and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have what I had now.
Luckily, the food halted any more discussion and I delved into the pizza of my childhood, finding it just as good as I remembered. Our conversation turned toward the assignment we had finished up the week prior, and I was glad, not sure how to approach the situation with Seth. I wanted to tell Jon that it still didn’t matter, but after my run in with Seth, I wasn’t so sure I would be telling the truth.
“You want a ride to the hotel?” Jon asked as we walked out of the restaurant. “I figured we would leave one car here.”
I shook my head. “I’m not staying at the hotel.” It made no sense staying there when my parent’s house was right down the road. Besides, I had been gone way too long and it would be nice to catch up.
Jon looked surprised. “Oh, well I guess this is where we part then. You want to get started early?”
“As usual,” I answered, giving him a smile. “Good night, Jon. Thanks for everything.”
He leaned over and brushed his lips over my cheek, the coolness of his lips catching me off guard. “Just remember, Alisha, I’m your partner. I got your back regardless, alright?”
“Thanks,” I said, taking a few steps back. “Um, good night.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, hurrying back to the office and to my car. By the time Jon reached his car, I was pulling out of the space, giving him a quick wave before I peeled out of the parking lot.
***
The shower was warm and far too relaxing. After a full day of travel and then the events of tonight, I was glad to wash away what I could.
What was painted on my soul, well, that wasn’t so easily removed.
Stepping out of the shower, I grabbed the towel and started to dry off, catching a glimpse of the tattoo on my right shoulder. It was a beautiful one, a court jester skull wearing the jester hat. It wasn’t a dainty tattoo, but somehow Seth had made it look like one, adding the beautiful scroll of our initials intertwined underneath. It had been my first tattoo and had hurt like a bitch even with me drunk off my ass, but I had been beyond pleased with the results.
And Seth had been the one to ink me.
Frowning, I quickly dried off and covered it up with a worn t-shirt and shorts, walking into my childhood bedroom. Seeing Seth brought up all of these memories, memories I hadn’t thought about in quite a while.
But as I sat on the bed, covered in a patchwork quilt, I spotted a worn photograph still stuck in the mirror of the vanity. I didn’t even need to pick it up to know what it contained. It was one of the first pictures Seth and I had taken together after we were labeled prospects for the Rough Jesters, both grinning like fools in our new vests. That night had been epic, both of us on top of the world as we celebrated with the rest of the club.
***
I clinked beer bottles with yet another member, taking a drink even though I knew I should stop. My head already spun from the tequila shots earlier, and at this pace, I would be lucky to find my bed at the end of the night.
An arm snaked around my waist and I grinned as lips pressed against my neck, sending a white-hot lightning strike to my lower half. “God, I love you.”
“You better,” I answered as I turned in Seth’s arm, pressing a kiss to his lips that were cold from the beer he was drinking.
He grinned and deepened the kiss, his hand gripping my side possessively. I melted into his kiss and when we both came up for air, we were laughing. Seth grabbed my hand and pulled me outside, away from the crazy party going on inside the clubhouse. The air was still warm, but the sky was filled with thousands of stars, stretching as far as the eye could see.
I sighed as Seth’s arms came around me, pulling me against him. “This night can’t get any better.”
“It will if you get naked and let me put my dick inside you.”
“You are such a romantic,” I laughed.
His lips touched my neck, nibbling on my skin. “I try, babe, I try.”
***
“Alisha? Are you still awake?”
I shook out of the memory, clearing my throat. “Come in.”
My mom pushed open the door, a gentle smile on her face. “I just wanted to say good night. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance.”
I tucked my legs under me. “I was just thinking.”
My mom glanced at the mirror, her smile fading. “You know I thought about getting rid of that photo a long time ago, but I knew it was special to you, so I left it.”
It had been. “It’s fine, Mom.”
She came to s
it beside me on the bed, her hands in her lap. “You loved him so much. It was hard for me to tell you anything.”
I cleared my throat, ignoring the old feelings threatening to surface. “That was a long time ago. I’m a different person.”
“I know,” she answered. “I did like him though. He was always polite, and I believe he loved you, Alisha. I know you will run into him here, and some of those feelings might come back, but don’t forget what you have now. Just don’t get sucked back into that life. It wasn’t good for you, even if he was.”
Seth had been good for me. It was the life that hadn’t been, and we were both so caught up in the vices of the MC that I hadn’t realized how bad it was until it was too late. Because of what we had done, what we had ignored, Janie had died.
I couldn’t bring my sister back.
I couldn’t change the hands of time between me and Seth.
“Well,” my mom said after a moment, rising from the bed, “feel free to help yourself to anything in the house. It’s so good to have you home.”
“It’s good to be here,” I told her as she walked to the door, looking back at me. I had missed them, too wrapped up in my job to realize how out of touch I had been with my parents until now.
Her gaze softened. “Good night.”
“Night, Mom.”
She shut the door and I fell across the bed, looking up at the ceiling. The few times Seth had met my parents had been like a dream come true, though we were too hung over to really care about the way they felt about our relationship.
And Janie. She had met Seth, even partied with us a time or two, before she went to college. What would she think now? What advice would she give me about how to handle this thing between us?
Would we still be together if she hadn’t died? I’d thought about that more times than I cared to admit. Janie’s death turned my life upside down, forcing me to confront the fact that I was just throwing my life away with the club. Or maybe her death had ultimately turned my life right-side up.
But in leaving the club, I’d thrown away Seth, too.
Groaning, I shut my eyes. Tomorrow was a new day and I would have to start my investigation for real.
Chapter 4
Seth
“So, you think this is going to work?”
I stared at my whiskey glass, still full from the last time Rex had poured one. “Hell, man, I hope so. If it doesn’t, I’m out of ideas.”
“Yeah me too,” Rex echoed as he brought his glass up to his lips. We sat in the Jester clubhouse, a bit more subdued than normal. It seemed no one had anything to celebrate these days, with so much loss and the entire club existence hanging in the balance.
Gone were the wild parties and celebrating into the night. Now most of the members who had families chose to be home with them, hoping there would be no retaliation from the Aztecas or the cartel.
But for people like me, who went home to an empty house every night, I much preferred to stay at the club as long as I could.
Rex slammed his glass on the bar top before reaching for the bottle again.
“Why aren’t you at the house?” I asked as he poured another glass full.
“Kris wants to remodel,” he grumbled, lifting the glass. “We are currently fighting over the color of paint for the living room.”
I chuckled. “What’s the options?”
“I say brown,” he answered. “She says green. Right now, we have swipes of paint on every damn wall and still can’t agree.”
I shook my head, still finding it hard to imagine Rex and Kris married. The two presidents had a past and nearly killed each other over this whole cartel thing, but somehow everything had worked out for them.
The same couldn’t be said for the rest of us. Well, maybe it was just me. Even Ironsides had gotten married to one of the Bitches a few months ago, leaving me and Machine Gun as the only unhitched council members.
I hadn’t even thought about it until I had seen Alisha tonight.
“I heard Alisha was back in town.”
I eyed Rex. “Who told you?”
He grinned. “Ain’t nothing gets by me, man. I also heard she cuffed you tonight. Probably because you are so damn irritating.”
I chuckled. “I threw out the lawyer bit. She let me go. End of story.”
“Yeah right,” Rex grinned, his eyes bright from the alcohol. “How did it feel to see her again?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted, looking down at my glass again. Seeing Alisha had been like a kick to the stomach, one hard enough to make my balls shrivel up.
Now we were on the opposite sides of the fence and I couldn’t trust her. Alisha wasn’t a Jester any more. She didn’t belong to the club and I needed to be careful about our interactions so that I wouldn’t give her any fuel to truly arrest me.
If she’d had that fuel tonight, I would’ve ended up in a jail cell.
“Listen,” Rex was saying, his voice low. “I wish I could give you good advice, but hell man, I suck at advice. What I can tell you is, don’t forget Alisha is a fed now and anything she does is for the sake of her job. Don’t get caught up in that shit. I can’t afford to lose you.”
I pushed the glass away, the whiskey I’d already downed turning sour in my stomach. I had already tried to hash out that fact in my mind, wishing a thousand times over that Alisha had just stayed the hell away from Castillo in the first place. Who the hell had assigned her out here knowing she had a history in the area? Didn’t the feds look into that shit?
Rex clapped me on the back. “I know it will be hard, but I need to know you can handle this shit if it rises again.”
“I got it,” I ground out, sliding off the stool. “I swear.”
“I’ve heard that before,” Rex chuckled, waving a hand at me. “Go home. Get some rest. We got shit to do tomorrow.”
I eyed the Jester president. “You gonna be okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said, waving at me again. “Get the hell on.”
I shook my head as I walked out of the clubhouse, toward my bike. It was late and I knew I needed to go home to get some sleep.
All I could think about, however, was when Alisha had left me the first time. The first few days I hadn’t known what to do with myself. Not even the sting of alcohol could heal my broken heart and I had drank a hell of a lot to numb the pain.
Alisha and I met at a party when she was sixteen, and I was eighteen; too old to be messing around with a sixteen-year-old.
I would never forget how she looked at me that night, a tall gangly kid who had no fucking idea what he was doing in her arms. I had just gotten recruited by the Jesters, not yet earned a vest, and felt like I was on the top of the world.
One kiss had led to another and by the end of the month, we were exclusive. Alisha’s mom had hated that her daughter wasn’t gonna date a good boy, and I sure as hell wasn’t helping Alisha’s drinking by taking her to club parties all the time. We were just kids back then, without a care in the world.
Somehow by the grace of God, she actually graduated high school and moved in with me that night, out from under her parent’s thumb. I had told her I loved her. From then on out, we were inseparable. After earning our vests, Alisha and I both threw our entire lives into the Jesters’ work. I quickly rose through the ranks and life was good, damn good.
But the day after Alisha’s nineteenth birthday was when it all fell apart. Her sister was taken, kidnapped by the Aztecas who’d mistaken her for Alisha. Alisha’s screams still echoed in my head sometimes, from when she’d found out the truth about her sister’s kidnapping.
And then the Aztecas sent her sister back in pieces. It was the worst thing I’d ever seen.
Climbing on my bike, I gunned the engine and shot off down the dark street. I should go see Alisha outside of business, outside of our titles; I was a Jester still and now she was a federal agent. I was glad she had done something with her life even if it pitted us against each other. She was smart, and whatever sh
e put her mind to, she did it. And she did it fucking well.
In another time, another place, I would want to work things out with her. I’d seen a woman here and there over the last ten years, but I hadn’t gotten serious again with anyone. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part. I wanted to have what Rex had found with Kris, or Corey with Jessie. I wanted to have that secret look with someone again, that spark that never seemed to die.
I wasn’t a hopeless fucking romantic, but I was a man with needs, a man who wanted to feel loved.