by JR Thompson
Gagging, the teen took the hoe and began scraping dried clumps of manure off of the floor. He had gotten no more than one-fourth of it loose when a mouse literally ran up the wall beside of him.
“Rat, rat, rat!” Billy screamed before running out of the chicken house.
Mr. Bones chuckled while accompanying him back into the coop. “Where? I don’t see anything, man.”
“It climbed the wall!”
“Really, Billy?... You sure you didn’t just see your shadow?”
“I ain’t lyin’, Mr. Bones! It’s probably gonna drop on my head when I ain’t lookin’. We gots to be gettin’ outta here!”
“It’s extremely unusual for a rodent to go up a wall. And I really doubt it’s plotting an aerial attack.”
“You ain’t gonna make me stay in here with that thing?”
“It’s gone, Billy... You must have scared it off.”
Billy cautiously looked around the building for a moment. “Yeah, well… If he knows what’s best for him, he won’t be steppin’ back up in here. Know what I’m sayin’?”
“Look out!” Mr. Bones hollered, pointing behind Billy’s feet. “There he is!”
Billy danced around as if he had already been bitten while squalling and trying to get out the door. Mr. Bones grabbed hold of him, “Get control of yourself, man. It was just a joke.”
Billy punched the wall, “Ain’t cool, man! Don’t do that to me.”
“I see why that tiny little mouse wouldn’t want to come back up in here,” Mr. Bones chuckled. “You’d probably bust his eardrums with all that girly screaming.”
“I didn’t scream, man!”
“Yeah, whatever. Look, the mouse’s probably long gone by now. You can get back to work… Do you need me to stay in here to keep you safe?”
Billy didn’t want to be alone with a rat or even a chicken for that matter — unless the chicken was fried sitting next to a pile of mashed potatoes smothered in gravy. At the same time, he had already made himself look like a sissy. Somehow, the boy had to reclaim his dignity. He shook his head, “I ain’t afraid of no rat!”
“Good,” Mr. Bones replied. “I’ll be outside.”
Billy had to force himself to breathe as he watched Mr. Bones leave the chicken house. He worked as fast and furiously as possible, determined to get out of that rat-infested place as soon as possible.
It took him longer than he anticipated, but after thirty minutes or so, Billy finally felt confident the coop was clean. “Done!” he announced from the doorway.
Mr. Bones smiled, “Let’s have a gander.”
Together, the two stepped back inside. “Looking better, but you need to clean the floor under the nesting boxes. Oh, and check out that water bowl — that’s as disgusting as all get out!”
“Oh, no!” Billy argued. “You ain’t say nothin’ ‘bout no bowl. I ain’t even like cleanin’ my own dishes. Definitely ain’t up for washin’ none that belong to those feathery things.”
“I said you have to clean out this pen. The first step is removing the manure off of the floor. Now you get to scrub out their food and watering dishes, take out the old straw, and replace it with new — that should be it for this coop.”
How could his probation officer make things sound so simple and pleasant? Billy was certain the guy was laughing on the inside. Probably getting pretty amused at the faces he was making. But maybe not. Maybe he really didn’t realize how badly Billy hated this chore. If he didn’t know, he was about to find out. “Mr. Bones…,” the fourteen-year-old whined, “This is torture!”
“Fifty dollars, man. Fifty dollars you didn’t have to steal from anybody. Money you earned from a day’s worth of hard labor. Keep telling yourself that.”
Billy wasn’t complaining about the money, but he had no idea such dirty jobs even existed. “Could you have possibly found something harder for me to do?”
“Oh, I could have! Is that a challenge for next week?”
Billy was glad his probation officer was finding some humor in the situation. Personally, he wished he would have stayed in bed. He didn’t even want to imagine what other kind of mess Mr. Bones could get him into. “No, no!” he said. “This is good. Forget I said anything.”
By the day’s end, Billy was grumbling about how exhausted he was and about his desperate need of a shower. Still, he couldn’t help but smile as the property owner handed Mr. Bones the cash.
“Thank you, ma’am,” Philip told her.
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” Billy added.
As they left the grounds, Billy said, “Momma ain’t never gonna believe what you made me do.”
“She already knows, Billy. We talked about it before I picked you up this morning.”
“And she’s okay with this?”
“Absolutely. You’ve been living your life in a self-centered fashion. You never think twice about anybody but yourself. You’re going to have to walk a few miles in other people’s shoes so you can understand where they’re coming from.”
“Oh, I get it,” Billy said. “So, your little adult feelings got hurt, and now you’re getting revenge.” He chuckled sarcastically. “That’s what that whole sermon thing was about this morning, huh? You told my momma to say mean things about it because I made fun of how short your message was.”
“I didn’t tell your mother what to say. That was all her,” Mr. Bones replied.
Billy knew his mother better than that. She would never have stooped so low had someone not put her up to it. “Liar,” he said.
“I’m not lying, Billy. Your mom said whatever came to her mind. I didn’t put those thoughts in her head.”
“Yeah, whatever!”
“Did it upset you a little there, bud?”
“Oh, no! I loved studyin’ for three hours, writin’ down a bunch of notes, having my probation officer break into my bedroom and wake me up at the crack of dawn to make me preach him a stupid sermon just so he and my momma could have somethin’ to criticize!”
17
Carlos had no desire to check in with his probation officer — not after the last appointment. Too many embarrassing questions. Too much humiliation. Still, he followed his father into the office.
“Please sign in, and I’ll let Mr. Bones know you’re here,” the receptionist told them.
“Thank you,” Mr. Estrada replied.
Before they even took their seats, Rose returned and told them they could head back.
Mr. Estrada looked at his thirteen-year-old, “Do you want me to come with you or would you rather I wait out here?”
Carlos didn’t understand why his father even asked him that question. He always felt more comfortable with his parents when it came to appointments of any kind. “Come with me,” he said.
Mr. Estrada smiled, and the two walked down the short hallway to see Mr. Bones.
The probation officer was typing something up on his computer when they arrived. “Have a seat, gentlemen,” he said while opening the Estrada file. “I’ve received a report from Dr. Stewart’s office. Thank you for following through on the psychological assessment.”
“You’re most welcome,” Mr. Estrada replied.
“So, Carlos… how have things been going, man?”
Carlos felt like the man was out to get him. Like saying the wrong word might land him in the slammer. Pretending to relax, he said, “Good, I guess.”
“Has there been any more sexual acting out?”
Carlos shook his head.
“Glad to hear it,” Mr. Bones said. “Dad, is that true?”
“As far as I know,” Mr. Estrada replied.
“That’s the kind of report I like to hear… Carlos, I’m curious… do you have a girlfriend?”
The boy’s face reddened as he softly said, “Not anymore.”
Mr. Bones couldn’t help but chuckle, “A recent break-up, huh? What happened?”
Carlos shook his head, “I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Did it ha
ve anything to do with those pictures you texted?”
Looking toward the floor, Carlos said, “No.”
Mr. Bones stood and rolled his chair out from behind his desk. Sitting closer to the boy, he asked, “Do you get nervous coming here?”
Carlos didn’t know what to say. Nervous wasn’t really the right word. In all reality, he was horrified. He couldn’t just come right out and say that though. Instead, he softly said, “A little.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know you… and I don’t like answering personal questions.”
“That makes sense… I’ll tell you what, bud. I want you to feel more comfortable with me. So, let’s move away from the personal questions and get to know each other better. Shall we?”
Carlos felt as if he was being set up. Adults like Mr. Bones always had something up their sleeves. It was a catch twenty-two. If he said he wanted to change the subject, it would look like he was hiding something. If he said he didn’t, that would make it easier for the probation officer to continue grilling him about things he would rather keep to himself. Carlos didn’t answer. He just looked at the man in silence.
“Let’s try this,” Mr. Bones said. You can ask me three questions about anything you want. I’ll answer them to the best of my ability, and then I’ll ask you three, non-personal questions. Deal?”
“Deal.” Carlos looked around the office, “Tell me about these trophies. Are they yours?”
“They are,” Mr. Bones replied. “When I was in high school, I was a part of a glee club. Do you know what that is?”
“A geek club?” Carlos grinned.
“Not geek, Carlos. Glee… It was a group of us who got together and sang short songs; a lot of them were divided up into different parts.”
Carlos snickered, “And you got trophies for that?”
“Sure did. Believe it or not, we put a lot of hours into rehearsing. Most of us loved performing. For me, the best part was traveling around to different competitions… Okay, two more questions. What do you have?”
“Hmm…,” Carlos said, realizing his first question was way too lame. If his probation officer could ask him personal questions, what was to stop him from turning the tables and giving it back to him? “What’s the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done?” he asked.
Mr. Bones laughed, “Now, that was a good question — not necessarily one I’m going to enjoy answering though.”
“Now you know how I feel.”
“But I’m going to answer it nonetheless because I’m a man of my word… When I was six years old, I was extremely short for my age. My family went out to eat, and I needed to use the restroom. I insisted I was big enough to go by myself.”
Carlos grinned, knowing what was coming next. His probation officer had either missed the toilet and nailed some poor guy’s foot, or he slammed the lid on himself.
“Everything was fine until I got the door closed,” Mr. Bones continued. “The light switch was up way too high for me. I climbed on top of the toilet seat, and just as I hit the light switch, my foot slipped into the toilet. My pants leg was soaked, and I had to walk back out in the restaurant like that.”
Carlos burst out in laughter, “For real? You really did that?... How’d you turn the light back off?”
“I didn’t. Just left it on… Okay, last question. What’s it going to be?”
Carlos was beginning to enjoy himself. It was nice to see Mr. Bones as just another human being. He wasn’t perfect. He was as down-to-earth as anyone else he had ever met. One more question… one more question… what should he ask? It took him a minute, but Carlos finally managed to spit it out, “What kind of trouble did you get into when you were my age?”
Mr. Bones raised an eyebrow, “Somehow, I get the feeling this is a loaded question — but a promise is a promise. So, when I was thirteen… that would put me in what, about seventh grade?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, that was probably the worst year of my life. It was the first time I got in a fight.”
“Did you kick the guy’s butt?”
“Actually, she beat the snot out of me.”
“You got in a fight with a girl?” Carlos giggled, “And she won?... I would think that would be more embarrassing than falling in the toilet!”
Mr. Bones snickered, “You may have a point there, buddy. But to be completely clear on the matter, I didn’t fight back. It’s never right to hit a girl, no matter what.”
“Yeah,” Carlos laughed, “that’s probably what I would say too.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mr. Bones said. “Well, that was your last question—”
Carlos was a smart little cookie. He saw what was going on. His probation officer didn’t like being on the hot seat any more than he did. But, what were his words? Something about a promise being a promise. He was going to make him keep his end of the deal, “You only told me one thing you did. I asked what kinds of things you got in trouble for; not just for one example.”
The office phone rang, “Hold on, partner. I have to take this… “Philip Bones speaking… What’s he upset about?” Mr. Bones picked up an ink pen and jotted down a few notes. “How long’s he been in there?... Do you think he’ll talk to me?... Okay… I’ll swing by after work. Just don’t tell him I’m coming… Thanks, Tamara. See you in a couple of hours… Let me know if anything changes in the meantime…. Sounds good.”
After hanging up the phone, Mr. Bones apologized for the interruption. “Now, where were we?”
Mr. Estrada chuckled, “It’s okay. You were just about to tell my son more of the naughty things you did when you were his age.”
“So I was,” Mr. Bones smiled. “I’m going to have to move through this fast though so I can have time to ask you some questions. Okay?”
“Sure,” Carlos agreed. “As long as you don’t try to wiggle your way out of this.”
“Wiggle my way out? Why would I do that?”
“Cause you don’t want me to know that you did worse things than I did.”
Mr. Bones smiled, “Let’s see here... I told you about the fight that wasn’t really a fight, I, um… well… I sneaked out of the house in the middle of the night—”
“Where’d you go?”
“To a party. Nothing too significant happened there…, I slashed—”
“Nothing significant happened at a party? Come on, Mr. Bones. You have to be honest. Did you drink? Smoke pot? Get a girl pregnant? What happened?”
Mr. Bones shook his head, “I drank a little. But I didn’t touch pot, and I didn’t get anybody pregnant.”
“Boring!” Carlos grinned, “Ok, go on. So, you said you slashed something?”
“I did… the tires on my dad’s pickup.”
Carlos couldn’t help but smile, “And you act like I’m a bad kid... What else did you do?”
“Don’t get any bad ideas from this. You understand me?”
Carlos crossed his toes, “Yes, sir.”
“I egged my neighbor’s house, smoked cigarettes, made prank phone calls, pulled a fire alarm… you name it, I did it.”
“Wow, Mr. Bones!... And here I thought you were in a geek club. You were a pretty cool kid.”
“Thanks… I think,” Mr. Bones replied. “Okay, now I get to ask three questions. For starters, what’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for somebody?”
Carlos stared at him for a moment. That was not the type of question he had been expecting, “I don’t know. That’s a tough one.”
“Come on, Carlos. We all do nice things for people sometimes. What have you done?”
“Hmm…,” he said. “I apologized to an ugly kid in my class for calling him a zit-faced troll... I wouldn’t have said I was sorry, but my principal made me. Does that count?”
Mr. Bones chuckled, “If that’s the best you can come up with, I guess so. Question number two; if you could change anything about yourself, what would you change and why?”
Carlos shrugged. His dad answe
red for him, “How about your socks? They could use a good changing!”
Carlos smiled from ear to ear, “Like you can talk... I don’t know, Mr. Bones. I can’t think of anything.”
“Take your time. We’re not in any hurry,” his probation officer told him.
Carlos looked around the room for a moment, “I guess I would be an adult. That way, I wouldn’t have tons of people telling me what to do all of the time.”
Mr. Estrada laughed, “Do you not think adults have people tell them what to do, Carlos? I have to listen to my employer, to Mr. Bones here, to our landlord, policemen, the IRS, and a host of other people.”
“Yeah, yeah. I still think I’d change myself into an adult. You guys have it made,” Carlos said. “What’s your next question, Mr. Bones?”
“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to live and why?”
“That’s an easy one! The White House. If I was the President of the United States, I could do anything I want, and nobody could stop me.”
18
Tamara hollered for Mr. Bones to come in without bothering to get up.
Mr. Bones let himself in and closed the door behind him, “Still won’t come out of his room?”
“Nope.”
“So, tell me again what happened.”
“I came back from the store and discovered a pair of earrings missing. That boy of mine has done gone out and pawned them. Probably tryin’ to get more money for weed.”
“And you confronted him?”
“You better believe I did! I waited ‘til he came in from school and I tore into him. Told him I can’t stand a thieving liar and I ain’t gonna put up with it no more. He started givin’ me that whole, ‘But Momma’ spiel. I’ve seen those puppy-dog eyes far too many times. I ain’t buying it this time or ever again for that matter. That boy took my earrings, and he’s gonna pay for ‘em!”
Mr. Bones was disheartened. Somehow, he had to get Billy’s attention. That boy had potential. He could change, but what was it going to take? “And you’ve tried to get him to come out of his room?”