by Caleb Meeks
“I’m sorry.” Martin eventually uttered. I gave him a confused look. “I’m sorry for blaming you for something you had nothing to do with. And thank you, thank you for sharing with me. It made me realize some things about myself, too.” I gave a single appreciative nod. It seemed like the most appropriate response given everything.
Leo looked over at me, still in shock. He put his hand on my arm and squeezed. “We’re going to take him down, okay?” He was clearly choking back tears.
I reached up and squeezed his hand. “I know.” I smiled. He pulled his hand back and sat up straight. There was something newly invigorated about him. He wasn’t fighting this fight just for him anymore, we could all tell.
“This Abaddon character, where is he?” Jonathan asked.
“We don’t know. We’re waiting on a location right now, and once we’ve got it, we’re moving on it.” I answered.
He nodded. “I don’t know where everyone in this room stands with Jesus, but if it’s okay, I’d like to say a prayer.” Matthew and I gave each other a smile.
“That would be great.” I said. He smiled, clearly surprised. With that, I grabbed Matthew and Leo’s hands. The words ‘Father God’ never felt more like home than they did in that room.
Chapter Thirty.
“In Jesus name, Amen.” Martin finished.
“Amen.” We all echoed. I didn’t know what Leo believed, I’m not even sure if I knew what I believed, but what I will say is that it was what we all needed.
I looked up from the table, a stunned look on my face. Matthew noticed it first. He put his hand out and gripped my shoulder. “You okay, Judas?”
I took two shaky breathes. “I think I know where Abaddon is.” Everyone flashed me a look of stunned curiosity.
“Where?” Leo prodded.
“An old church.” I shook my head, looking up at him. “Leo, if you are going to round up a team, it would be a good time. This is happening, now.” I stood from the chair, my hands firmly placed against the tabletop.
He paused, almost frozen. “What about the location we found from the truck?”
“I know. I know, but this is it. I know it is.”
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll make some calls.” He stood up. “Matthew, you want to help me?” Matthew nodded. Everyone appeared fearful of what was coming. We’d all been preparing for it in our own ways, but on either side, it was coming to an end, and it was starting to settle in. He stood up, and both of them walked out of the room.
“Are you ready for it to be over?” I looked up to see Martin speaking to me. I was surprised he was talking to me, but something seemed to have settled between us. It was not how I saw it going, but it was more than welcome.
“I don’t think I have a say in it. I’ve been fighting for this to come to an end ever since it started. I can’t imagine it being over, though.”
“Me either. I started fighting this battle when you did, and to think it might be over is…something else” He locked eyes with me. “I’ve put a lot of people behind bars. I don’t know what’s going to happen when this is all done, but I can say I’ve never seen a more genuine transition. You are one of the good guys, I believe that now.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Jonathan.”
He smiled back, then stood up. Once he reached the doorway, he turned back towards me. “I’ll be seeing you around.”
“Alright.” He walked out of the room. I took a moment to breathe. This was happening. Finally. My battle was finally happening.
As usual, I found myself having wandered into the bathroom, in front of a mirror. There was something new inside me, and looking into my eyes, I could see a change. The gnashing teeth behind the black in my eyes had been muzzled. There were remnants, but it wasn’t what I was used to. It felt like a small spark, just a match light, had been ignited, and it was bringing a part of me to life I didn’t know was hiding inside.
I’d spent so much time staring into the same eyes, and every time I looked in, I saw my demons claiming more ground. Looking into them now, I saw myself first, not them. Who knows if I would ever have been ready to fight this fight, but if I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that sometimes you don’t get to be ready. I owed this to so many people, some with me, some not. It was time to go. It was time to face the end of this fight, one way or another.
Matthew walked into the room behind me. “You doing okay?”
I took a deep breath, taking the question to heart. “I am. Are you?”
He smiled. “I can’t confidently say yes, but I am. I’m ready for this to be over.” I could tell he was terrified, but he was ready. “You look different.” He analyzed.
“Yeah?” I didn’t know what he could have possibly meant.
“Yeah, something’s changed. I can tell.” I smiled. “Leo’s got the car ready. Let’s get going.” He gestured towards the door. I nodded, then took the first step towards the door. He patted me on the back, and we walked through the crowd of officers, who were staying behind. They all had faith we would win the battle, and for once, I did too.
I walked with Matthew down to the car Leo had readied. When he saw us coming, he extended his hand out, holding a set of car keys. “You’re driving.” He instructed me.
“Really?”
“Yeah. You clearly know this place better than we do, so chances are, you’ll be able to get us there easiest.”
I turned towards Matthew, who was nodding agreeably. “Alright, then.” I reached out, pulling the keys out of Leo’s hand. “Let’s go.” I walked around to the driver’s side. Leo got into the passenger seat, and Matthew buckled into the back seat. I turned the key, and the engine came to life. It felt foreign to my own vehicle.
We started on the way to the church. It was a bit of drive, but not more than two hours. With me at the wheel, less than that. After a few minutes of silence, while I assume they were adjusting to me being at the wheel, Matthew opened his mouth. “I don’t know if this is something you want to talk about, but what is the significance of this church? Why would Abaddon choose this place, and how do you know that he’s there?”
“That’s a perfectly reasonable question.” I answered. “I guess it all goes back to the incident four years ago.”
▪
I tried to ignore the bullet lodged in my abdomen, but every step caused more blood to ooze from the wound. There were four guards standing behind me, just to ensure I didn’t try anything. I could hear someone descending the stairs behind us, but I couldn’t turn back. He’d be lucky if one of the guards didn’t turn around and put a bullet in him. I couldn’t watch another person be gunned down because of me.
Every time I lagged, one of the guards behind me would shove their gun into my back. I learned that even if my vision went dark, I kept walking. They escorted me out of the building. Two black vehicles were parked just outside, waiting for us to load in. Of course, they pushed me over into the car that Abaddon had just taken a seat in. The back of the caravan had a floor space, which was lined with seats. Abaddon was seated at the head of it, and there were three guards on the opposite side. They didn’t look up, or even move, when the others threw me in the back. They slammed the door shut, then went and loaded into the other vehicle. We were moving within a few seconds.
“Now, why’d you have to go and do that, Judas?” Abaddon sarcastically asked.
I coughed, bringing up blood into my mouth, and looked up with just enough time to see his foot careen into my gut. I rolled over, recoiling from the spiraling pain that had just shot through my whole body. He was holding himself steady with a bar that ran across the roof of the vehicle. I laid there while he continued to slam his foot into me as hard as he could. Eventually, I could see my own blood coating the tip of his shoe, but he didn’t let up. The guards in the back didn’t turn and look, they just sat where they were, staring at the wall across from them.
I couldn’t fight back, because I knew it wouldn’t do anything. If I did, the guards would have st
epped in, and in the current condition I was in, Abaddon would have had no trouble putting me back on the ground. So, I laid there feeling more defenseless than I ever have in my entire life. Blood oozed from my abdomen and my mouth, to the point where I almost couldn’t feel it anymore. Death seemed like an easier alternative.
After a seemingly eternal car ride, the car came to a stop. Abaddon smiled villainously. Almost on cue, the three guards in the back stood up to open the doors of the car. I was lying crumpled on the floor of the vehicle, watching everything play out before me, but unable to do anything about it. The light seeped in as the door opened, and I realized where we were. An old cathedral style church stood just outside the doors. It didn’t look like it had been used in years, but the structure held strong.
The guards opened the door I had been shoved into at the station. Abaddon grabbed me by my shirt and used it to roughly drag me to my feet. Surprisingly, I managed to remain standing while we walked through the doors of the church. In the back, there was a large wooden cross. Dusty pews lined the aisles. From the back, it looked like a pastor leading a disturbed youth to the cross, but the front told a different story.
He walked me to the foot of the cross and threw me to the ground. My back smacked against the wooden base. “Now, since you decided to try and be the little savior of the day, you can die with the real savior.” He turned around and started down the aisle towards the door. “Boys, make sure he doesn’t leave.” The guards readjusted themselves, making sure their guns were readied. Abaddon stepped out of the room. The door closed behind him, and I was sure it would be the last of him I would ever see. For that matter, I thought the view of the church would be the last thing I would ever see. That was until one his guards got a little cockier than he should have.
He walked towards me, letting his gun fall to his side. “What are you doing?” One of the other men asked.
“It’s not like he can do anything. Guy’s practically dead already.” He said, kneeling in front of me.
“Your loss.” He replied.
The one in front of me gripped my chin as act of dominance. To further it, he slapped me across the face, displaying a pathetically powerful smile. Before he could react, I had him in my arms, and I felt the crack in his neck. He went limp, but I didn’t. I grabbed his gun and fired off two shots. Both other guards dropped to the ground before they could react.
▪
“Long story short, I called Dominic using the phone from one of the guards, and he came to save my life. If he wasn’t there for me, I would never have made it. It carries some importance to Abaddon because it’s the place he let me get away. It makes sense that he wants to end it where it all began.”
“What can we expect when we get there?” Leo asked.
“I wish I could tell you. I’ve seen him arrive with an army, and I’ve seen him act alone. I don’t know what to expect.” Leo nodded, and we rode in silence. I drove faster than I’d intended to, but it got us there faster. We were all walking through different scenarios in our minds, so even though the car was silent, there was plenty we were listening to. Leo had his life on the line. From what Matthew told me, he’d lost everything for his work, and this might well justify his decisions. Matthew was a new officer, and if he managed to close this case, it could change the course of his life. Not to mention, he took in a criminal, and failed to inform the police. He had just as much to justify as Leo. And then there’s me. This was the moment that would determine if I could take this second chance at life. If I won, who knows what would happen. Maybe I’d get arrested, maybe not. Either way, it was a new life away from the one I’d been living. And if I lost, well, if I lost, then I wouldn’t have to worry about what I’d do next. Only one of us was going to walk out alive.
We turned onto the dirt road that housed the old church. I’d driven it countless times. Why I always came back to it, I never really knew, but there was something about it that seemed to pull me, almost like a magnet. Maybe a part of me always knew that it would be where everything would end. Whatever it was, I could practically drive to it with my eyes closed.
I could see the group of cars behind us. Leo had managed to secure a sizeable detail from his friends across the board, so there was an impressive set of aid all around. A part of me was starting to wonder if it was necessary at all, though.
I could feel something as we approached the church. “Stop here.” Leo instructed. We were just outside of sight from the church. I pulled the car to a stop along the side of the road, and the train of cars behind us stopped as well. Leo, Matthew, and I all stepped out of the car. “It doesn’t look like there’s anyone around.”
I took a deep breath, locking my eyes on the church doors. There was no one around. Not a car, not a boot print, not a single trace of life, but I knew he was there. I could feel his presence like a noose around my neck. I walked around to the other side of the car where they were standing. “This isn’t going to be what I thought it was going to be.”
“So, he’s not here?” Leo asked.
“No, he’s here. I know he his. But this is my fight, I have to take it alone.” Both of them looked like I was speaking a foreign language.
“Judas, there is no way I am letting you walk in there without any backup.” Matthew rejected.
“Me either. You’ve got to be crazy. You know better than all of us what this guy’s done to people, what this guy has done to you, and you expect us to let you go in alone?” Leo joined.
“Yeah, I do know more than anyone what he’s capable of, which is exactly why I have to be the one to do it. Do you both remember me telling you that you can’t necessarily fight him to end him, but it’s up to each person to fight him when it’s their time?” Both nodded. “This is my time.” They didn’t like what I was saying, but I could see it clicking in both of their minds.
Matthew was the first one to break the silence. “We’ll be right outside.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“You’ve got this.” Leo said, slapping my arm. While it wasn’t particularly personal, I could feel the genuine care from them. I realized how weighty it was to accomplish everything, since now it was all on my shoulders.
I took one last look at them, nodded, and then turned around. Part of me wanted to turn around, look back at them, but I knew that I couldn’t. Instead, I put all of my focus into each step I took. Each step I took put me one second closer to the moment I’d been waiting for since before I could remember. Now that I was walking towards the fight, I realized it was always what I wanted. I just never let myself believe it.
I could feel everyone’s eyes as I walked away but tried to keep my focus on everything in front of me. The doors to the church were just ahead, and Abaddon was just inside. He knew I was coming, so I didn’t feel the need to approach stealthily. I reached the doors and set my hand on the cold steel handle. With one last weighty inhale, I pulled the door forward and stepped inside.
The room was just barely lit by the light coming in through the stained-glass nuances throughout the room, as well as a few candles. More dust had settled on everything, and I could see some graffiti. Black spray paint on the walls, broken glass across the floor, even some alcohol bottles tipped over on the pews. It didn’t look like anyone, delinquent or other, had been in the building for a couple years, though. Eventually, my eyes settled on the familiar wooden cross in the back of the room. Flashbacks of bleeding out just beneath it traveled through my mind. Dominic running in, throwing himself on the ground to desperately try and stop the bleeding, and seeing that cross just before my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Then, as I focused on the cross, my eyes settled on the poorly lit figure of a man standing in front of it. Abaddon.
“I’m glad you came.” His very human voice echoed throughout the whole room. “I was wondering if you’d figure out where I was. If you had followed through with the location your lovely little friend Leo had found, well, they might not be standing just outside. Also, I hope you lik
e the candles. I thought you would, given your flare for the dramatic.”
“It was only fitting. You tend to be predictable.”
“It’s a bit nostalgic, isn’t it? I still remember your blood all over my shoe in this exact spot.” He gestured to the ground he was standing on. “I guess I didn’t expect you to make it out alive, but I don’t mind having an encore performance.”
“I’d be surprised if you did. I have to ask, though, why’d you disappear for so long?”
He smiled. “I hoped you would ask. I disappeared because I was curious what you’d do. When I heard that you were still alive, I wanted to watch you. But I didn’t want you to know I was watching you. Turns out, you carried more of me with you than I thought you would. I’m glad you kept up my legacy even while I was gone.”