Strong hands skimmed down her sides before sliding up to brush aside her damp hair; the light touch made her shiver. “Sentinels aren’t supposed to do a lot of things.”
“But how did you get in here?”
“That’s what doors are for.”
Kali rolled her eyes. “Dumb jokes are my territory.”
A faint smile touched his mouth. “Sadira’s with the other mages at dinner; she’s to keep any of them from leaving. Nicely,” he added with a frown. “Although I’m not sure how.”
“She shouldn’t risk anything for me,” Kali said.
“She wanted to, and besides, I couldn’t have gotten in here without her help. Lieutenant Wren’s squad was scheduled for bastion patrol tonight, but he hates bastion patrol and prefers to be out in the city, which, coincidentally, my squad was scheduled for. Given that the lieutenant had been scheduled for bastion duty every day this week, he was eager to trade.”
“Convenient,” Kali said, one brow lifted. “But something in your eyes tells me none of that was accidental.”
“Ah, well. You see, Cobalt’s turned the duty roster over to me. And of course, I’ll do anything to help the garrison run smoothly in this time of strife.”
The formal tone of his voice, coupled with his wry smile, made her stare at him, half stunned, half delighted. “You devious bastard,” she said, laughing.
His grin turned boyish. “I have my moments. And most of my squad is on patrol, by the way.”
“I suppose you can’t use your new responsibilities to get this collar off?”
His smile died. His touch against her skin was light as his thumb grazed the collar and her still-tender scar. “Only Talon and Cobalt have the keys, and I couldn’t see a way to swipe one without either of them noticing. I’m sorry,” he added, softer.
“It’s all right.” And it was. She leaned into his touch.
“Kali,” he said. “What happened to you at Parsa?”
Sweet blood. Sweet magic. Give it to us. Now.
Her cheeks burned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Kali.”
Stonewall’s voice was quiet, but heavy, and his earnest gaze upon her filled her to the brim. He had risked so much to come here, for her. The moment he learned what was wrong, he’d demand she seek another mage to help her; definitely the wisest option. But she wasn’t feeling so wise now.
She leaned her cheek against his cuirass, ignoring the uncomfortable press of hard leather and hematite, and took a deep breath. “I think I’m possessed by the Fata.”
His body went rigid until he drew back and urged her to look at him. Worry was plain in his eyes, but she saw his warrior’s determination studying her, assessing this new threat from all angles. “Why do you think that?’
“That night—Heartfire—before the thralls attacked, I heard them, but only in my mind at first. Somehow, I felt them coming.”
“You jumped like you’d been bitten.”
“But it’s more than feeling emotions that aren’t mine. I also want…” Kali struggled to find the right words. “Magic. Not just mine, but other mages’. It’s like…a hunger so intense, I can’t think of anything else. It started in Parsa, when I healed that woman, the one who…” She trailed off, her fingertips brushing the scar at her throat. Tears stung her eyes. “I sensed something wrong with her particles, something beyond injury or illness, so I investigated.” She shivered. “I found the Fata. And they found me.”
“Your eyes are…normal.”
She swiped away the wetness on her cheeks, working to shore up her own resolve. She was no warrior, but she could fight in her own way. When she looked up at him again, she ensured there was steel in her gaze. “I’m controlling the feelings: the rage and the fear. I’ve had some…strange dreams, but nothing I can’t handle. As to the hunger, it’s easier to control myself if I avoid other mages. I can’t risk hurting them. But–”
“You shouldn’t be avoiding them,” Stonewall broke in. “You should do the opposite. Maybe Sadira can burn that thing out of you or…something.” He strode to her pile of clothes and began collecting them with shaking hands. “Come on. Let’s find her and ask.”
But Kali stayed in place. “Stonewall… I can’t risk it.”
“It’s all right.” He held out her tunic. “I won’t let you hurt anyone.”
She stared at him, but her thoughts had raced ahead. What ifs and maybes whirled through her mind, chasing the otherness that she’d come to think of as the Fata within. Whether it was a temporary reprieve or a permanent one, she did not know, but she seized the momentary advantage of a clear head. Her father’s words echoed in her memory. “Magic is a terrifying gift, Kali. The One has entrusted you with great power, so you must always use it wisely, and for the greater good.”
Some of Kali’s hard-won calm slipped away and hunger prowled on the heels of her agitation. All the power in the world could be hers. She only had to take it. But she shook the thought away at once, focusing on her crystalizing resolve. Yes, this was the reason she’d been possessed: knowledge.
Kali shook her head. “I…need answers.”
“Don’t we all,” he muttered. “Come on. We’ll go now. Sod my orders.”
“Stonewall, I’m in a unique position to learn more about the thralls – and the Fata.”
He stared at her, one hand still outstretched with her tunic. “What are you saying?”
“I will seek help,” she said. “But not yet. Not until I get some more information.”
“What are you talking about? Are you going to…” His hand tightened around the fabric. “Chat with the sodding Fata? You’re sick, Kali. You need–”
“I need to understand what’s going on.”
“At what cost?” Stonewall’s words echoed through the bathing chamber.
“My life is my own to risk, remember?” she said.
“It’s not just your life at stake.” He seemed to force the next words out. “If you do…turn into a thrall, completely, you could do so much damage.”
“I can handle this,” she replied, sharper than she meant to. “For a little while, at least. Stonewall, if I can learn what the Fata want, what they’re doing to our people, perhaps I can find a way to help those they’ve turned to thralls. I might even learn how to stop the Fata, for good.”
“This is folly,” he whispered, still clutching her shirt. “Kali, you’re not thinking clearly.”
Anger swelled within her, hot and sudden and strong, and when she spoke, her voice was not her own. “If you don’t trust me, then leave me alone.”
He stared at her. “I do trust you. But not…the thralls, or Fata, or whatever’s…taken hold of you.”
She managed a wry smile. “Nor do I. But I’m on my guard. I’ll be fine.” She held out her hand. “Give me my shirt. I’m freezing.”
He passed over the garment, clearly still at a loss. While she dressed, she shot him another look, hoping to change the subject. “Did you really do those duty roster shenanigans out of worry for me?”
Stonewall leaned against the bathing room door, tucked his gloves in his belt and rubbed his forehead. “I’ve been trying to find a way to see you. A lot’s happened since we got back. Talon put me on probation,” he added, scowling.
“Can’t say I blame her,” Kali said as she wriggled into her leggings. “You are plowing a mage, after all. That’s surely against the sentinel code of conduct.”
A low chuckle escaped him and his gaze on her was heavy with longing. “You’ve asked me twice to run away with you.”
Kali’s heart stuttered and she looked up at him, her slippers in her hand. “Aye. And twice you’ve refused.”
“Ask me again.”
She approached him, her heart beating a wild tattoo against her ribs, the stone floor now only cool beneath her thick socks. “Elan?”
He took her hands in his and pulled her close, and his voice dropped to a whisper. “We must leave.”
“How
?”
He rested his hand over the collar at her throat, his thumb brushing her scar. “We walk out the front gates.”
She scoffed. “And you think I’m mad.”
“We both are.” Stonewall held her cheeks and pressed their foreheads together, speaking with deliberation. “I’ll pull some more shenanigans with the duty roster. It won’t be easy and Talon will likely catch on in short order, so we’ll have to be quick. But we have a chance.”
She searched his face and found only hard resolve and that earnestness that he put into everything. “You’re serious.” She gave a weak laugh. “I shouldn’t be surprised; you’re always serious.”
“I was a fool to think we could live here and be together. I see now that’s not possible.” His breath was warm on her lips. “What do you say?”
If Talon discovered that Kali was possessed, her life would come to a quick end. But in the wide world, away from other mages, she could perhaps learn to control the Fata within her and—even better—help others who had been taken over. Maybe she could learn how to prevent this terror from spreading further.
More than that, though, and perhaps selfishly, Kali could spend all her time with the man she loved, the man who looked at her like she was every star in the sky.
“What about your squad?” she whispered.
He lowered his hands to take hers again. “I believe they’re of the same mind as me. I’ve not officially broached the subject, but none of them are pleased with life in the garrison.” He scowled again. “Especially not after Talon’s little announcement today.”
Kali frowned at him. “What announcement?” As he relayed the garrison’s latest set of orders from the Pillars, all other things fell out of her mind and she gaped at him. “You’re to capture Sufani? What about the thralls?”
“There was much…discussion on the matter,” he said bitterly. “But our esteemed commander was firm in her resolve. Apparently, these orders come from the Pillars themselves.”
“And their word is law among sentinels.”
“Yes.” He frowned again. “Do you remember the Aredian soldier my squad found, the one who’d been turned into a thrall?”
“You said his armor had burned his skin.” It was one of the clues that had led her to investigate a connection between the thralls and Fata.
“The Pillars claim they weren’t burn marks,” he said. “But chafing from ill-fitting gear.”
A chill swept over Kali as she recalled Arvad’s journal, and the Pillars with their glowing eyes. “Stonewall…do you think the Pillars could be connected to all of this, too?”
“The Pillars are not glimmers,” he replied. “They’re mortal men and women. I think someone would know if they were…otherwise.”
He faltered and they shared a look. Sadira had said much the same thing, but given Kali’s current predicament, she had her doubts. Stonewall evidently did, too.
“But if Fata can somehow wear the skins of men and women,” Kali said. “Who would dare question them? Have you ever seen the Pillars in person?”
He shook his head. “But I’m one lowly sentinel. Why would they want to see me? Besides, others have seen them. High Commander Argent, for one, lives in Lasath, where they’re stationed, and he often meets with them.” He sighed again and squeezed her hands. “None of us were happy with Talon’s announcement, but if we want more hematite, we must follow their orders.”
“What does that mean?” she asked. “Why wouldn’t they give you more…” She trailed off, studying him as best she could in the flickering lantern light. There were shadows beneath his eyes and he looked leaner than she remembered. “You’re due for another dose,” she murmured.
He lowered his gaze. “Aye.”
Fear stirred in her heart – and anger. That sodding hematite. “How much longer do you have?”
“A couple weeks. Maybe.”
“Maybe?” She took a deep breath; the collar made even simple breathing difficult and she had to fight the urge to try and claw the thing off. If she could get a sense of his particles, maybe she could ease his suffering, maybe even help him live without the wretched poison his brethren were so eager to ingest.
But the collar remained stubbornly in place, muting her world and her magic.
So her next words were bitter. “The Pillars coerce you into doing their bidding under pain of death.”
“We must obey their word, or be Forsworn. And the hematite is for our protection.”
Stonewall’s voice had taken on a flat, lifeless tone as he recited what had surely been forced into his brain since he was a boy. Stars and moons, she wanted to slap him and cry all at once. Frustration and anger—her own or the Fata’s, she could not say—rose like bile in her throat. “How can you possibly believe that?” She grabbed his cheeks, drawing his gaze. “Holy or not, the Pillars control the Circle, who control you and your friends. The same Circle who taught you how to swing a sword, but not to read. To obey, but not to think. How can you still trust them? They may keep us mages under lock and key, but you’re their prisoner.”
He stared at her, honey-brown eyes wide.
“Kalinda? Who are you talking to?”
Foley’s voice outside the bathing room door made her jump. Stonewall reached for his daggers before he checked himself and Kali glanced around the room. She considered grabbing one of the privacy screens for Stonewall to hide behind, but surely the lantern light would create a sentinel-shaped silhouette. Finally, she pointed to the wall behind where the door would open. Stonewall shook his head, but Kali pointed again. This was the best option.
Stonewall grimaced and darted for the wall. But he was bulky with his gear, and should the First Mage enter the room, there was little chance he would miss the armored man.
Foley called out again. “Kalinda, are you decent? I have some ginger tea for you.”
“Thank you, but I’m…washing,” Kali called, hurrying to the tub to splash the water around. “Just leave it outside.”
There was a brief pause, then Foley said, “I’m afraid I must speak with you, Kalinda. I’m going to count to three and then enter. Please cover yourself. One.”
She and Stonewall shared wide-eyed looks before he shut his eyes and pressed his back close to the wall.
“Two.”
The collar felt tighter with each breath as Kali pushed all her weight against the door and tried to inject vehemence into her voice. “Foley, I’m washing. If you’re so keen to speak to me, I’ll find you when I’m done.”
“You haven’t yet, though I’ve left messages outside your door,” Foley replied. “I’m sorry, but I must have a word. I’ll be quick. Cover yourself. Two-and-a-half.”
Kali looked at Stonewall again. He’d ducked his head, like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. She’d have to distract Foley. Perhaps, if Stonewall held still and the door cast a broad enough shadow…
“Three,” Foley called.
The door pushed open, making Kali stumble back. The First Mage entered the room, gripping a mug of tea in his hand, with his other forearm flung over his eyes. “Are you decent, Kalinda?”
“Uh… Just a moment.” She motioned to Stonewall to slip out, but there wasn’t enough room in the small space for him to get past Foley unnoticed. Panic caught in her throat. Shit!
Foley exhaled. “Despite all appearances, I do have other matters to attend to tonight.” He opened his eyes and glanced around the small chamber, his gaze landing on Stonewall…
But Stonewall was gone. Kali gaped at the empty shadow where he’d been. How in the blazing void had he slipped out past her notice?
Foley looked back at her, tilting his head in curiosity. “You’re dressed. That was quick.” He offered her the steaming mug of tea. “I hope that means your healing sessions with Sadira have made some positive impact on your knee?”
Careful not to touch the other mage, Kali gripped the warm ceramic mug, mentally trying to shake herself out of her shock. Stonewall could
n’t have gone far; she had to keep Foley occupied long enough for her sentinel to sneak out of the dormitories. She made a show of rubbing her bum knee and gave Foley what she hoped was a convincing nod. “Yes. Yes, Sadira’s done wonders.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Foley said. “But is there trouble between you two? She says she hasn’t seen you in a few days. No one has, actually.”
A flicker behind the door caught her eye. Something stirred in the shadows: the vague shape of a man. An armored man. A sentinel. What in the stars…?
Seeing that her attention had slipped, Foley glanced back at the wall, but again, showed no recognition. The older mage looked at Kali again, his brow furrowed, and stepped toward her. “Are you well? You seem…agitated.”
Sweet blood. Sweet magic. Give it to us.
Kali swallowed the urge and took a step backward. “I’m just…” The shadow flickered again and Kali bit her tongue to keep herself from looking. “It’s just this blazing cycle. It’s dreadful this month. Thanks for the tea, though it could have waited a few more minutes.” She sipped the warm liquid: the spice of ginger blended with fragrant citrus.
Foley studied her. “I was married, once. Women’s troubles are not entirely foreign to me.”
“Well, you know… Nature can be cruel.” She sipped the tea again. “But I’m quite tired, so I think I’ll just finish up here and then head back to my room.”
She limped to stand by the door, hoping he’d get the hint. But Foley only regarded her. “You’re not…with child, are you?”
Of all the things he could have said, that was the most unexpected. The shadow behind the door stirred. Stunned, Kali only gaped at the other mage. “No!”
“Are you certain?”
“Completely,” she shot back. “And even if I were, the…state of my womb is none of your business.”
“Anything that involves a member of our bastion family concerns me,” he replied. “But I admit, I’m glad to hear you’re not pregnant. I did wonder, as sentinel men cannot generally father children, but there are exceptions to every rule.” He cleared his throat. “And if you were pregnant, you couldn’t do anything about it as long as you wore the collar. But I see now that there’s no need to fret.”
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