A pause, then a cool, “Very well.”
The spring warmth faded. The air on Kali’s wet cheeks was colder than she remembered, and when she swiped her tears away, bits of grain clung to her sweating palms. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Sweet blood. Sweet magic.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she said, glaring at the brushwork behind the chicken coop. “Tell me what you want. With more than those stupid words.”
Silence.
She sighed and ran a hand down her unraveling braid. Her efforts to learn about the Fata had been…inconsistent, at best. Most of her energy was spent trying to keep the rage and hunger at bay, and she was starting to think this plan of hers was a bad idea.
Her mouth pulled in a grim smile. No doubt Stonewall would agree.
A crow landed upon the fence post before her, cawing. Kali started back, but the crow only watched her as the wind ruffled the scruff of feathers around its neck. Kali frowned. What in the stars was…?
Her stomach twisted at the realization. “Eris?” she whispered.
Another caw and the crow tilted its head as it regarded her.
“Eris?” Kali asked again, still uncertain if this was some curious, wild creature, or her shape-changing friend. She had never actually seen Eris in crow-shape. Even if she had, she wasn’t sure if she could have picked out her friend from a true crow. Besides, she sensed no magic emanating from the bird. Surely if it was Eris, the Fata within Kali would have caught the scent of her magic.
The crow tilted its head again and then jumped, landing on Kali’s shoulder. Kali yelped in surprise, but before she could do much else, the crow lifted a wing and brushed the tips of its pinions across Kali’s nose. The tickling sensation confirmed the crow’s identity, and despite everything else that weighed upon her, Kali laughed aloud.
“Stop, stop, Silver Girl,” she managed, raising a hand. “I understand.”
The crow cawed again, a note of satisfaction in the sound, and hopped from her shoulder, inching down her arm until Kali got the hint. She extended her forearm so Eris could better face her. Even up close, there was no hint of the woman behind the crow’s liquid dark eyes, but Kali hardly cared. Eris was alive.
“Thank the stars,” she whispered, stroking the bird’s smooth back. “I feared the worst. Are you…?” She bit back the words, uncertain how to broach the subject, or if she even should.
Eris-the-crow preened beneath her touch, but then cawed again, flapping her wings as if about to take off. Thinking her friend needed room to fly, Kali lifted her arm, but the crow folded her wings and gave Kali an annoyed look that was entirely Eris.
“What do you want?” Kali asked. She glanced around, suddenly fearful that Foley or someone else would come upon her talking to a bird when Eris was a known shape-changer. But she and Eris were alone – save the hens.
The crow turned on Kali’s arm so that her beak pointed toward the mage dormitories, and bobbed her head. “You want to go to my room?” Kali asked. “So we can talk properly?”
Another caw and another bobbing head motion that Kali took for assent.
But something held Kali in place. Once Eris changed to her human form, would the Fata hunger for her magic? Could Kali even hold a conversation with a dear friend any longer, or had the Fata taken that, too?
And then there was Gideon’s grave. Eris probably had no idea what had happened to her husband’s body and in truth, Kali was reluctant to share the news of his burial, even though the disgrace had been rectified. Kali sighed. One tragedy at a time. She would tell Eris soon enough. She nodded to the crow. “All right. I’ll meet you at my window.”
A flurry of dark wings, an absence of weight on Kali’s arm, and Eris was aloft. Kali dusted off her hands, pulled her cloak tight around herself, and set off for her room. She tried to hurry without looking like she was hurrying, which, ironically, her limp made easy. Once Kali entered the dormitories, she spotted Hazel stepping out of the common room.
“Look at you, out and about,” the teenager said with a bright smile. “Are you feeling better?”
“‘Better’ is subjective,” Kali said, clenching her teeth against the Fata’s leap of hunger for the other mage’s magic.
“Aye, you look…” Hazel pursed her lips. “Well, terrible.”
“You should ask Foley if I’m pregnant,” Kali muttered, and slipped off before the girl could question her further.
Thank the stars she met no other mages and soon she was safely in her room. Once she latched the door, she rushed to fling open the window and peer out, searching the sky for a distinct black shape. Nothing. Kali squinted up at the bastion wall, when a blur of feathers fell into her vision. She scrambled out of the way as Eris darted into her window and landed between a discarded tunic and her viol case.
Kali latched the window and drew the curtain, but did not turn as she braced herself for the onslaught of Fata emotions once her friend shifted back to her proper shape. Indeed, Kali knew the moment Eris changed, for she could taste her friend’s magic in the air; a sweetness that called her name. You can do this, Kali told herself, gritting her teeth against the foreign hunger. You’re not a thrall; you just have to control one for a little while.
When Kali finally turned, Eris-the-woman stood before her, clutching a ragged cloak around her nude body. “What happened to your clothes?” Kali blurted. “And your hair! I’ve never seen it so short.”
“I cut the hair and left the clothes in the forest. It’s still difficult to shift them, but apparently I can manage this tattered thing just fine. Still, I’d rather not be naked.” Eris glanced around the room, brow furrowed. “Where’s that dress Sadira gave you? The one with the embroidery on the collar. That should fit.”
They found the dress after some digging, and Kali sat upon her sleeping pallet. Now clothed, Eris made to sit beside her, but Kali held up her hand. “It’s best if you keep your distance.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure if you realize it, but crows don’t smell…nice. And people who have been crows don’t smell much better.” Kali tried to keep her voice light and teasing, hoping to deflect Eris’ curiosity until the appropriate time, but Eris only stared down at her.
“What’s wrong with you?” Eris asked.
“Too much to choose just one thing. You first. What are you doing here?” Kali’s throat tightened. “Did you come back for…him?”
Eris’ face turned to stone. “My husband is dead. I came back for you.”
Kali hugged her sides. “You didn’t have to.”
“And why not? Seren only knows what sort of trouble you’ll get into without me around.” Eris lifted a brow. “The hemie took you to Parsa, didn’t he?” The bitterness in her voice took Kali by surprise, although it shouldn’t have.
“He did,” Kali said. “But you were there when I chose to go.”
Eris scowled. “You were cuffed and he had the key. You had no ‘choice’ in the situation. Bastard. Did he force you to…?” She shook her head and began to pace around the room again, searching through the clutter. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter now. You’ll be gone from here, soon.” She found Kali’s rucksack and began stuffing it with random clothes, but her movements were jerky and fumbling. “It won’t be easy, but I’m working on a plan to get you out of here. But I must find Drake, too. Did the hemies bring in another mage?”
“Yes, but–”
“Good. No doubt Talon threw him in a cell. Getting him out will be tricky, but I must. I owe him a great deal.” Eris grabbed a pair of loose trousers and a wooden comb to shove inside the pack. “You’ll like freedom. It’s harder than life here—that will be an adjustment for you—but it’s worth every trouble, I promise. Gid says…”
She trailed off and went still, staring at the sack in her grip, shoulders hunched. Unthinking, Kali rose to her friend’s side. Her knee burned, but she focused on that pain and tried to ignore the urge for Eris’ magic. She tou
ched Eris’ shoulder to draw her attention. When Eris looked up, her green eyes were wet.
“What are you doing, Kali?” she whispered. “We must make plans. There’s no time for your woolgathering.”
“The sentinels buried his body,” Kali said, as gently as she could. “But afterwards, the other mages and I cremated him. We saw Gideon safely to his next life. Eris… I’m so sorry.”
Eris was trembling now but nodded stiffly. “Thank you.” She seemed to consider something, and then placed a hand upon her stomach. “I’m pregnant.”
Kali’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Without the magic-dispelling effect of the hematite collars, preventing—or encouraging—pregnancy was simple for a mage, but rarely did bastion mages wish to bring children into their world of high walls and hematite. Life would be hard for the child, no matter on which side of those walls they were forced to live.
“I’m only a few weeks along,” Eris continued. “I don’t feel any different. Is that normal?”
“I don’t know anything about babies or childbirth,” Kali managed. “There wasn’t much of either back at Starwatch.”
Eris’ face crumpled. “I can’t do this without him.”
She dropped the pack and covered her eyes, and shook with the force of her sudden sobs. Kali said nothing. There was no debate within her, although there should have been. She embraced her friend, close enough to feel Eris’ frantic heartbeat as tears soaked them both. This close, the Fata’s desire for magic hammered at Kali’s brain, so she bit her tongue to give herself something else to focus on. At some point, when she thought Eris might collapse with grief, she managed to steer them both back onto her pallet, where she sat awkwardly as Eris continue to weep into her shoulder.
At last, Eris quieted. “Thank you,” she murmured.
Kali rubbed her friend’s back and tried to keep her own reply light. “Don’t mention it. And… We’ll learn about babies together, Eris. I’m sure Adrie knows something. Or Sirvat – didn’t she go with you? She was rather far along at the solstice. Oh, and I’m sure we can find a midwife somewhere, or perhaps there’s a book or scroll I can study. We’ll figure it out. Everything will be fine, Silver Girl, you’ll see.”
She couldn’t help but add her old nickname for her friend. At the words, Eris sat up to regard Kali. Her nose was red and swollen; her short hair was plastered to her high cheekbones. But despite all of this, or perhaps because of it, Eris held herself like a queen, and her gaze was steady. Kali smoothed back the matted strands of Eris’ hair and gave a soft, sad smile. “It suits you.”
“You think?” Eris touched the strands, and then shrugged. “It’s far more practical. You should try it.”
A memory of Stonewall weaving his fingers through her hair made Kali look away. “Maybe one day.”
Eris swiped at her eyes and cheeks, and looked at the unlit lantern by Kali’s bed. “They put a collar on you.”
“Not just me.”
“Because of…” Eris hesitated. “Me and the others?”
“Yes.” Kali’s hand crept to her throat. There was just enough room to slip two fingertips beneath the leather and hematite. “The sentinels locked us in the dormitories for days. We’ve only just been allowed outside, but no one can leave for any missions. And there’ve been so many more patrols than before.”
Some of Eris’ regal bearing deflated. “That wasn’t my intention. I wanted you to come, too.”
Kali swallowed. “So did I.”
“No, you wanted to go to that sodding village,” Eris said. “Where everyone’s dead now, so I hear. What really happened?”
“It’s…a long story.” Kali took a deep breath, twisting her hands in her lap to distract herself from the urge to somehow wrest Eris’ magic away. “I’d rather hear yours first.”
She thought Eris would object, but her friend humored her and shared the tale of the Heartfire escape. Eris’ smooth, aristocratic voice remained steady throughout the telling, while horror clutched Kali’s heart. Only when Eris related Gideon’s death did she falter. Kali could not help herself, and risked a soft touch on Eris’ shoulder. The leap of Fata hunger made her head spin, but she tried to ignore the feeling.
When Eris was finished, Kali goggled at her. “You. The other mages, a Sufani, and… The Assembly? All coming here? For me?”
“And Drake,” Eris replied firmly. “As soon as I figure out how.”
Kali thought back to her and Stonewall’s conversation from the previous day. “I might have a way to the cells.”
“Well, it’s getting out of them that worries me.” Eris frowned at Kali. “But what do you mean?”
Heat crept up Kali’s neck. “I have a…friend who could get down there, unnoticed.”
“Your hemie lover?”
“His name is Stonewall.”
Eris snorted and rose to pace around the room. “This is the one you were weeping over last time we spoke? The one you thought was a ‘good man?’”
“He’s the kindest and best of men,” Kali replied, frustration welling within her. Yes, sweet blood. “We made amends. He explained everything–”
“Oh, I’m sure he did,” Eris broke in, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure he knew just what to say to convince you to let him back in your bed.” She pointed to Kali’s collar. “If he’s such a good man, why do you still wear that?”
“He…couldn’t get the key.”
Eris crossed her arms. “Forgive me if I don’t swoon from the shock of such news. No doubt he’d rather cut off his manhood then let his captive plaything get away. I imagine that’s why the sod took you to Parsa when you should have gone with us.”
Hatred dripped from each word; an answering anger rose in the back of Kali’s throat. What did Eris know of Stonewall? “Aye, and I’m lucky I did go with him,” Kali shot back. “I can’t exactly run with the rest of you. I might’ve shared Gideon’s fate.”
Eris’ eyes narrowed and she lifted her chin.
Kali flushed. “Eris, I’m sorry. That was–”
“It’s fine,” Eris said. “You’re clearly not feeling well.”
“No, I’m not.” Kali rubbed the scar at her neck. “But…I would like to leave this place.”
Eris lifted a single black brow. “Alone?”
“Well, no. I’d like Sadira to join us…” Kali trailed off at the memory of how she’d treated her friend. I’m sorry, Sadira. You were right. She would have to make it up to the Zhee mage – somehow.
“Kali?”
She braced for the incoming argument and tried to rush out the words. “Stonewall wants to come with me. And bring his squad. He says he has a way to simply walk out the gates, and I believe him. He’s quite clever, when he pulls his head out of his own…”
She trailed off as Eris threw her head back and laughed, although there was no merriment in the sound. “Walk out the gates with the hemies?” Eris said. “I know you have your own special sort of humor, Kali, but that’s ridiculous, even for you.”
Sweet blood. Sweet magic. Give it to us.
Kali clenched her jaw against the swell of anger within her heart. Hers, or the Fata’s? She could not say. “It’s no joke,” she managed. “Eris, we need all the allies we can get. You’re the one working with the Assembly, after all.”
“They’re friends of Drake’s,” Eris said, waving a hand. “Fodder for the hemies, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care what happens to them. But you…” She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Seren’s light. ‘Walk out the gates.’ What other lies has the metal-blooded bastard told you?”
Sweet blood. Give it to us. Now.
“Enough!” Kali rose as quickly as she could—which wasn’t very much—and glared at her friend. “You don’t know him like I do. You only see the armor, but he’s more than that. He loves me, and I love him. I don’t care if you don’t understand that or don’t like him. Your opinion doesn’t change a thing.”
With each word, Kali’s anger bloomed from an em
ber into a blaze, until she was practically shouting. And beneath it all, the thrum of hunger did not relent, only strengthened. Every muscle clenched tight and her body ached from the tension of trying to keep the Fata’s desire at bay.
Eris gave her a pitying look. “You poor, stupid fool. You’re his prisoner, too.”
Give it to us. Now.
The thread of control Kali had wound within herself snapped and she lunged for her friend. A shriek bounced off the walls of her room, but the voice wasn’t her own. It was otherworldly, a high-pitched wail that would have reverberated through Kali’s bones had it not come from her own throat. But her body was slow and ungainly, and her knee silently screamed in protest at the sudden motion. Eris ducked out of the way and Kali tumbled into a pile of books at the foot of her bed, sending them clattering to the floor. Her chin struck something solid, making her bite her tongue hard enough to taste copper. For a moment, Kali only stared at the open book: one of the Fata stories she had read with Stonewall. An illustration of a beautiful man with curving horns looked back at her, glowing eyes fixed on hers.
Sweet blood, the Fata snarled in her mind. Give it to us!
“No,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut against the renewed swell of yearning as Eris crouched beside her, reaching for her arm. That hunger beat against Kali’s brain like desperate wings against a winter storm; she could hardly think through the force of it.
“Kali. Come on. Get up.”
“Go away,” Kali cried, jerking away from her friend. She could not allow Eris to touch her, not when she was in this state. “Leave!”
“Kali,” Eris said, a note of irritation in her voice. Irritation…but also worry. “This is silly. You’re acting like a child. You lost your balance, that’s all. Here, I’ll help you get–”
“Get out of here,” Kali interrupted. “Leave me alone, Eris. Just go. Now.”
The final word broke with a sob. Eris rose. “I’ll return for you in about a week,” she said as she stepped away. “If you want to come with me, be ready.”
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