by Kit Eyre
‘I wasn’t saying –’
‘It’s not that she’s like Elena’s parents. If I needed her, she wouldn’t abandon me. That’s what her mum did to her the moment she got in trouble.’
Drew swallowed. ‘Right.’
‘Do you get it now?’ Amy pressed.
‘I didn’t –’
‘She’s not evil, she’s not. She’s done some stupid stuff, but she still my mum, okay?’
‘Okay,’ he echoed, shooting her a sideways glance. ‘Amy, you know it wasn’t me, yeah?’
‘Of course I do,’ she replied with a snort. ‘You’re too scared of Elena to risk it.’
Three minutes of persistent knocking hadn’t achieved anything.
Every second that they stood there tightened the knot in Amy’s stomach. A closed door was indicative of Max’s guilt, even if she didn’t want to believe it. She was about to pull Drew away when the door was yanked open and Max squinted at them.
‘What the hell’s all the banging about?’
Amy opened her mouth, but the words died in her throat. She looked to Drew and he handed over the newspaper he’d been tapping against his leg before stepping back a few paces. Amy didn’t follow suit. She wanted to see Max’s face while she read the article. The flash of horror was brief, but it was enough.
‘Where is she?’ Max questioned. ‘Is she all right?’
‘I don’t know,’ Amy replied. ‘I’m worried for her. Since Monday, she’s been all over the place.’
Even if they didn’t mention exactly what had occurred on Monday, they all knew what she was referring to. Max bit into her lip until it whitened and Drew scuffed his sleeve against the wall. Amy sighed, taking the paper back from Max and folding it into quarters.
‘Max, when she broke up with Foster, she lit a stick of dynamite. If he did this to her because she wanted to get away from him and try to do the right thing finally . . . Well, I don’t care if other people think she deserves it. I know she doesn’t. She’s my mum and we’re in this together.’
‘That’s good,’ Max murmured, running a hand through her hair.
‘And what about you?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Are you in it too?’ Amy asked.
Max shot a glance at Drew then cleared her throat. ‘I need to know she’s all right. I owe you that, even if I don’t owe her.’
Chapter 43
Thank God for social media.
That wasn’t something Max had ever thought before, but, since Valerie had turned both her mobiles off, that was the way they found her. There was a post on Twitter about the local MP getting drunk in a cocktail bar in the town centre. Max hadn’t even heard of the place, neither had Drew. He drove them over without so much as a sarcastic comment and parked up around the corner, promising to wait. Whatever was going on in his head at the minute, Max was just grateful he wasn’t kicking off.
The bar was above an estate agent’s, up a dank stairwell that rivalled some of the grimiest clubs she’d ever been in. Then, suddenly, they were in a massive room, full of glistening glass and panoramic views over the town. From here, the hospital was the focal point, glittering in the afternoon sunlight while apartment blocks and office buildings loomed around it. Jazz music was echoing around the bar, coming from a proper piano in the corner.
‘Whoa . . .’ Amy murmured.
‘Yeah,’ Max agreed.
She was looking around for a flash of blonde hair, but there was nothing yet. A large window separated the bar into two halves, offering a bit of privacy without blocking the views. Max motioned Amy through the gap and there was Valerie, perched on a stool at the bar chatting to a bemused barman while a cocktail glass wobbled in her hand. She might’ve been oblivious to everything outside her bubble, but the other customers were blatantly staring.
Amy nudged Max. ‘That one’s filming it.’
Heat raced through her body. She didn’t know what she was doing until she snatched the phone out of the guy’s hand and squeezed it in her fist.
‘Oi, what are you doing?’ he demanded.
She fended him off with one hand while trying to work out how to delete the video with the other. Amy grabbed it and pressed a few buttons before slamming it down on the table. The man glanced between them then shrank back into his seat.
‘Max,’ Amy hissed with another elbow into her stomach.
Except for the music, everything else in the bar was quiet. Max twisted around to find Valerie slipping off her stool like a cat, staring at her the whole time.
‘Max,’ she whispered.
She risked a step forwards. ‘Hiya.’
Valerie hesitated then closed the distance between them, padding over the floor in her tights. She stretched out a hand and took Max’s into her own, all the while nibbling on her lip. In the past, she’d taken what she wanted, but this was an outright question.
Max’s breath hitched as she lifted her free hand up and trailed it through Valerie’s hair. She felt the little buzz of desire against her wrist and couldn’t help leaning forward to kiss her until Valerie’s fingers had hooked inside her belt and brought them within millimetres of each other. They mutually brought the kiss to an end and rested their foreheads together.
‘My knight in shining armour,’ Valerie said.
‘Habit,’ Max replied.
‘Can I buy a drink to say thank you?’
She shook her head. ‘Just cook me dinner sometime.’
‘You’ve got a deal,’ Valerie returned then she kissed her again. ‘I love you. And I love Amy – where’s Amy?’
They looked sideways at the same time. Amy was watching them with one eyebrow raised and her arms crossed. If Max hadn’t seen this a hundred times – from both of them – she might’ve been worried. As it was, she reached out an arm to Amy and the three of them ended up in a lopsided hug right in the middle of the bar. It was only the click of another phone camera that snapped Max out of the moment, but Valerie grasped her hand.
‘Max, it’s okay,’ she said. ‘Let them.’
She frowned, but she didn’t have a chance to speak before Amy butted in.
‘It was you, wasn’t it? You talked to the paper. You leaked your own story.’
Max almost laughed at how stupid the idea was just as the truth of it hit her. Valerie’s brand of silence was as good as a confession, snuggling into Max’s shoulder like it was her own personal cocoon. All Max could do was manoeuvre her over to the nearest table, a high-backed circular booth slanting towards the grand windows.
‘Three Americanos with milk, fast as you can,’ she called to the barman.
Judging by the look on Amy’s face as she settled into the booth, he’d taken his cue. The three of them sat in silence until the coffees appeared, though Valerie was still curled into Max’s side. She made to reach for her cup then Amy caught hold of her hand, forcing her to look up.
‘Why didn’t you tell me this is what you were planning?’ she asked.
Valerie shuffled closer to Max. ‘I should’ve told you. I was scared.’
‘Scared of what?’
‘Changing my mind,’ she answered with a wispy smile. ‘I knew it, I knew what I had to do. On Monday, when I realised how alone you’d felt – because you didn’t trust me – I knew what I was up against. But I still thought I might bottle out and I didn’t want you to think less of me than you already do.’
Amy exhaled. ‘Mum, I don’t know if you’re brave or crazy. Why do it so publicly?’
‘I thought it was my only chance. Grand gestures, deeds instead of words. You told me that on election night, do you remember?’
‘I remember,’ she said.
Valerie turned her face towards Max. ‘I hoped if you saw I was serious that . . . Oh, Max, I need a drink for this, a proper drink.’
‘Just talk to me for a minute. You look like you’ve had enough.’
‘I’m not drunk,’ she insisted.
‘You’re well on the way. Keep goi
ng, come on. You’re doing fine.’
‘What am I doing?’ Valerie asked with a frown.
Max pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘Talking. You’re good at it, remember? Carry on. What happened with Foster?’
‘Nothing happened. Not when we were together, I promise.’
‘Keep talking,’ Max instructed, stroking her cheek.
Valerie nodded and kissed her fingers. ‘Once you’d – once we’d . . . I thought, why not? It was logical, it made sense. It didn’t matter to me whether I was with him or somebody else. It wasn’t you, it didn’t matter. I just needed to get through the election, deal with it after. But when I lost you, I lost Amy. I lost us – me. And John’s useful, he’s there. So, why not marry him? What harm could it do? It’s the best thing, it is. The best thing for me and my career, and it doesn’t do John any harm either. It’s right, it’s the right thing.’
‘Go on,’ Max prompted when she stopped.
‘Amy had it right, she could see it. She’s always been more intelligent than me. I hated John, every little thing he did just grated. Some people you can learn to live with – he’s not one of them. I had the job I wanted and that was fantastic, but nothing else was close. Nothing else was right. And, in the end, the job wasn’t enough.’
A tear ran down her cheek and Max scooped it up.
‘It was perfect,’ Valerie continued as she dabbed at her eyes. ‘The three of us, it was perfect. But I just had to push and push. I thought it’d ping back into place, all of it. I knew I had to take responsibility – that’s what the newspaper article was about. I don’t care what the consequences are for my career, I honestly don’t. I just need you – both of you.’
When her chin lifted, it was as if she was doubtful what the response was going to be. Max didn’t prolong the suspense, kissing her until the answer sunk in. Then, when they broke apart for air, Amy shuffled round the booth and gave Valerie a hug too.
‘I’m proud of you,’ she said.
Valerie rubbed her arm. ‘Not nearly as proud as I am of you. Whatever you choose to do with your life, we’re going to be there cheering you on.’
‘You bet,’ Max added.
Amy straightened her spine, reaching out for her coffee. ‘Then we need to talk to Biddy.’
Chapter 44
The closer they got to Biddy’s, the more nauseous Amy felt.
Drew drove them, saying nothing to Valerie during the journey. If that was their idea of a truce, Amy could cope with it. She was far more concerned about what awaited them at Biddy’s. To keep herself busy, she messaged Ed with a long thread about everything that had happened so far.
Elena’s car was still in the drive when they pulled up. Drew muttered something about staying well out of the way, leaving the three of them to walk across to the door like a troupe of condemned prisoners. Valerie tried the handle and it gave, though the buzzer warned Biddy they were coming. Amy reached out and clutched Max’s arm as they went straight through into the conservatory.
Biddy was in her chair with Hannah asleep in her arms. Elena was standing beside the door, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. She glanced over as they came in and Amy knew at once how painful this was going to be.
‘Clarice,’ Valerie said.
‘You’re not welcome in my home,’ she answered, keeping her gaze fixed on Hannah. ‘Amy can stay, of course, but I’d rather she had nothing more to do with you. You’re poisonous, absolutely abhorrent.’
Amy’s snicker slipped out before she could help it. That brought all eyes over to her, including Biddy’s. She quivered at the sight of her next to Max and Hannah began squirming around at the movement. Elena stepped forward to take her then, without hesitation, put her straight into Max’s arms. A couple of soothing words and Hannah settled against Max’s chest. Meanwhile, the expression on Biddy’s face had morphed into something indecipherable.
‘Listen, Clarice,’ Valerie said after a prolonged silence, ‘I refuse to ask for permission. Contrary to what you may believe, my relationship with Max is nothing to do with you. It concerns the two of us and Amy – that’s all. I would appreciate your blessing, but, since I already know I have Tim’s, I won’t beg for it.’
‘Timothy wouldn’t approve of this,’ Biddy snapped.
‘Oh, but he would. He was the most generous, openhearted man I’ve ever met. You know his last wishes, you were there. He wanted Amy to live her life and for me to live mine. I’m only doing what he wanted.’
‘You’re twisting something noble into something sordid.’
‘It has never been sordid. I’ve been a coward, but I’ve never been ashamed of Max. Now, I don’t want to argue with you. However, there is something else we need to tell you while we’re here.’
Amy stiffened until she realised Valerie was referred to the Durham situation rather anything else. Brushing that mess under the carpet while the spotlight was on her relationship with Max was so motherly that it brought a weak smile to Amy’s face.
‘Okay,’ she said.
Biddy’s forehead creased as she levered herself from her chair. ‘What’s this now, hmm? Don’t tell me she’s marring the gorilla. That’d be the final straw.’
‘Ed’s a good man,’ Valerie answered. ‘He owns a business that Tim invested in and he’s been nothing but a gentleman all the time I’ve known him. It’s not about him, though.’
‘Go on,’ Biddy muttered and Valerie crossed her arms.
‘Amy isn’t going to Durham. She doesn’t enjoy Law and, as a result, her tutors refused to let her apply. She’ll be taking a bit of time out and seeing what she wants to do with her life.’
Nothing happened. At first, Amy wondered whether Biddy had heard or understood, then she saw her nails working against the fabric of her trousers. She shrank closer to Valerie while Max shushed Hannah behind them. A glance at Elena suggested she wished she was anywhere else, but she stayed still and let Biddy’s silent fury ripple through the room. Biddy eventually fixed her attention back on Amy.
‘Is this true?’ she queried.
‘Yes,’ she said as Valerie slotted an arm around her waist. ‘Please, please, don’t be mad. I tried so hard to do everything you wanted me to, but I couldn’t. And I thought that – that Dad wanted me to do it as well until I realised that he loved me anyway, whatever I did. It didn’t matter – it doesn’t matter – it still doesn’t. He chose Law because he loved it, didn’t he? You wanted him to be a doctor. If I suddenly decide I want to be a doctor, does that mean I’m doing what you wanted him to do?’
Biddy frowned. ‘Do you want to be a doctor?’
‘No. Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to think of anything except Law since he died. But, the point is, he didn’t follow the path you wanted for him, but you still wanted me to follow him down that path. And I know why.’
‘You know everything,’ Biddy replied.
‘You miss him,’ Amy said, feeling the crack in her voice before she heard it. ‘The same way I do. The same way Mum does. You think that me going into Law is him living on or something. I don’t need to do that to make him live on in my head or Mum’s. Why would he want me to do something I don’t love just to stay close to him? He wouldn’t, Biddy. You know that as well as I do.’
‘But it’s your future!’
‘I’ll find another, I just don’t know what it is yet.’
‘At your age, that’s the death knell for any career. You mark my words –’
‘Biddy, please, it isn’t. I haven’t been able to think logically in the last few years, not really. You know, I don’t think I grieved properly. I got so caught up in being angry and trying to be this person I wasn’t that I didn’t let myself grieve. I think I need to do that, maybe you do too.’
‘She doesn’t need to,’ Biddy said, jabbing a finger towards Valerie. ‘She’s already moved on to this degenerate new –’
‘Please, don’t,’ Amy interrupted.
‘How on earth can you condone it?’
‘Dad would’ve loved to see us happy again.’
‘You can’t seriously tell me you approve of it.’
Amy let out a chuckle. ‘Approve of it? Biddy, I love Max. She’s already like a second mum to be, things are better when she’s around. That’s the way it’s meant to be and – and, if you can’t accept that, we’ve got a problem.’
Horror crept over Biddy’s face as all the colour drained out of it. Amy saw the attack looming and darted forward to catch her before she fell.
‘Where’s her spray?’ Valerie asked.
‘Handbag,’ Amy said.
Biddy struggled away, trying to steady herself. ‘I don’t need it.’
‘Well, do you want to end up in hospital or worse? You need the spray.’
‘Fine,’ she muttered.
Once they’d settled her back into her chair, it took a few minutes for the spray to take effect. Elena discreetly excused herself with Hannah, leaving Max and Valerie hovering by the door. Amy had started off by Biddy’s side, but she’d edged away as the danger faded. She ended up between Valerie and Max, something that immediately caught Biddy’s attention when she came back into her herself.
‘You can’t expect me to simply accept this,’ she said.
Max coughed and took a step forward. ‘Can I say something?’
That surprised all of them. Amy exchanged a glance with Valerie then they both raised an eyebrow when Biddy assented in a murmur. Max scuffed her hand through her hair and spoke directly to Biddy.
‘You’re within your rights to think whatever you want about me. I can’t change it so I’ve learned not to care. But I know something about pushing away your family and not treating them right. That’s what Elena’s parents did and all that happened was it pushed her closer to Drew.’
‘She told me,’ Biddy said.
‘Yeah, and my parents wanted me to be something I’m not. So, I decided to carry on being me and stuff them. They’d have to crawl back on their hands and knees for me to listen to anything they had to say now. Elena’s parents would have to do the same, I reckon, and they’re missing out on Hannah – their granddaughter. But Amy’s here and she’s asking you to just – I don’t know – suspend your disbelief. Maybe that’s it. Suspend your disbelief for a bit and let it play out. No snap decisions, no words you can’t take back.’