“This isn’t over,” Jack promised Jayson. Then he turned to Gia, having the decency to look guilty. “I can explain.”
“Not now, Daddy.” She put up a hand and kept her eyes on her ex-husband. She had issues with both of them right now, but the one with Jayson was paramount.
Her father silently followed Macy into the house. Jayson folded his arms over his chest and waited until they heard the Knox family car leave the driveway.
“I wanted to run tech,” she told him.
Jayson’s mouth was a grim line. “I know.”
“And my father gave to it to you like...some sort of dowry?” Gross. That’s what this was. “You never told me. And you had an opportunity to do so the other night.”
“I only wanted to protect and care for you. I—”
“I only wanted you to love me!” she shouted, tears rolling down her cheeks. Damn him. He hadn’t changed at all.
“I tried! Do you know how hard it is to want to be everything to the woman who needs nothing from you?”
She shook her head, but he kept talking.
“You could make a career out of pushing me away.”
“What about the last time we were together?” she asked. “What about you leaving and telling me where we stood? That was you pushing me away.”
“I know your pattern. The second we get close you back away. I was giving you an out.”
“You were protecting yourself!”
“Oh, really?” His expression shifted from disbelief to anger in a snap. “And what about now, when your dad offered me the vice president position on a silver platter? Was I protecting myself?”
No.
He wasn’t.
“I don’t want a pity job, Jayson.” She put the cake on the table, the melting ice cream pooling onto the plates in the warm night air.
“It’s not pity.” Exasperated, he threw up his hands. “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. You don’t want me to give you anything, but you don’t want me to take anything for myself either. And by the way, I did love you. So much I was stupid with it. Can you say the same?”
Yes. And she could say that right now, in fact. Judging by everything he’d just said, though, he wouldn’t want to hear it. She found herself guilty of doing what she’d accused Jayson of doing—protecting herself.
“You don’t have to answer that,” he said. “That’s the benefit to being divorced. We don’t have to answer to each other anymore.”
He walked around her to the patio door but before he disappeared inside, he had more parting wisdom. “Being in the role of vice president is your destiny, Gia. You wanted to be involved with tech, marketing? The entire damn company? Here’s your chance. Take the VP position and step into your role at ThomKnox. For a change, claim what you deserve.”
Then he was gone.
She slumped onto the lounger, her eyes clouded with tears and her mind racing. Her emotions were battling each other. She wanted him, but was afraid to tell him. She wanted to step into a greater position at ThomKnox, but didn’t want to risk failing. She’d crowed about wanting a shot at making her own decisions and mistakes. Now she had the opportunity and she was too scared to do either.
And, possibly the most depressing of all... She’d wanted to tell Jayson that she loved him but she couldn’t.
He didn’t love her. Not anymore.
* * *
Chester filled a small shot glass with golden liquid and pushed it under Jayson’s nose.
“I fucked up,” Jayson said, his speech slurred thanks to the three tequila shots that had preceded this one. He’d come here straight from Gia’s. Too pissed off to drive home and stew in his own juices, and maybe a little bit needing the comfort only Chester’s empanadas could provide.
As it turned out, Jayson couldn’t eat.
Ches, a bartender, had taken one look at him and asked what was wrong and Jay had spilled his guts.
“It happens to the best of us,” Ches said. “Now drink.”
“I don’t want it.” But Jay took it anyway. Drinking until he forgot what an idiot he was wasn’t a great plan, but it was the only one he had. After downing the liquor that’d done a good job of making his head swim already, he lay back on the uncomfortable outdoor couch. The palm trees overhead canted at an awkward angle and his stomach flopped. He was horribly uncomfortable without a pillow—as if the cushions were built out of the same hard material as the frame. He sat up as quickly as he’d lay down, his head spinning in protest. “I hate this couch.”
“So do I,” Mason said, stepping outside to deliver a tray of beers in pilsner glasses. “And he paid five grand for it.”
Jay sent Chester an appalled look. “Seriously?”
“Shut up. This is not about my couch.” Chester moved to sit on the overpriced piece of furniture next to Jayson. “You know I adore you. But, Jay, honey, why didn’t you tell her you let her dad give you that position while you were married?”
“Secrets like that tend to grow hair.” Mason sat across from them in a chair that matched the couch, but at least he had a pillow that looked squishy.
“Tell me about it. Before I had the chance, we were talking about divorce and then... I dunno.” Jay felt his mouth pull into a miserable frown. He knew why he’d procrastinated telling Gia. He didn’t want her to hate him and she’d seemed to be heading there at a fast clip already. And if she hated him he couldn’t live with himself. Which was where they’d ended up, even though he’d tried his damndest to prevent it. “She hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Mason argued. “She’s pissed off. There’s a difference. And by the way, she has a right to be. Probably feels like she was swapped for a flock of sheep or something.”
“Thanks, Mas.” Jay reached for his beer. Not needing it, but wanting it.
“Don’t be mean to your brother,” Ches warned his husband as he patted Jayson’s back. “He’s going through a tough time. Jay, you can stay here tonight.”
“Yeah, you can sleep on our five-thousand-dollar patio couch,” Mason said with a smile.
Jay surprised himself by laughing. “Pass.”
“You were supposed to move on,” Mason reminded him unnecessarily. “That’s why you took Natasha to the wedding, right? You weren’t supposed to sleep with Gia at said wedding. And you weren’t supposed to sleep with her over and over again. Especially since she didn’t know her own father bribed you.”
“Not helping,” he grumbled at his brother. Jayson’s arms felt like cement. He let them lay heavy on his legs when he leaned back on the couch that might as well have been crafted of that same cement. “I do not like this couch, Ches.”
Like that, he lost his only ally. “You two hash it out. I’m done helping.”
Once his husband was gone, Mas lifted an eyebrow in judgment.
“Like if you lost the love of your life you wouldn’t do anything in the world to be close to him again? Even temporarily?” Jay gestured to the house behind him where Chester had disappeared.
Mason blinked. “I didn’t realize you were still in love with her.”
“It’s a moot point, dontcha think?” Jayson lay on the couch anyway, his spine screaming in protest.
“I don’t know. Did you tell her that?”
He let out a morose laugh. “Are you kidding?”
“No. I’m not.” Mason sounded scarily serious. “If you’re in love with her why not tell her?”
“Um, hello? How much have you been drinking? We’ve said everything we needed to say and most of that was said too many times and the wrong way.” Jay took a hearty gulp from his own beer glass. “And she just found out I’ve been trying to control her for my own gain.”
“Have you?”
“Jesus, Mason. No! But that’s how she sees it. And if you know Gia—and I know Gia—you know that t
he only thing that matters on this planet is her perspective.” He lifted the glass again then set it aside, an idea sparking. “I know. I could quit.”
“You’re not going to quit. You love ThomKnox.”
He did.
“I could step down,” Jayson said anyway. “Give her my position. Work in the mail room or something.”
“Are you high?”
“No. Drunk.” But he didn’t feel all that drunk. Sure, the earth was moving under his feet, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Tell her how you feel,” his brother said. “Man up. Grow some balls.”
“Weren’t you just banging the don’t-date-your-ex drum?”
“That was before I knew you were a goner for her. How long have you been in love with her, anyway? And how much longer are you going to let your bravado stand in the way of what you really want?”
“Jack offered me vice president.”
“What?”
“He said ThomKnox is adding a VP position and I was in the running. He said that my being with Gia, and seeing through my promise to take care of her, would stack the deck in my favor.”
“What an asshole.”
“That’s Jack.” But that wasn’t all Jack was. He was also eccentric and grossly friendly. He loved his family with a fierceness that was hard to understand, especially when Jayson’s own father couldn’t have given two shits about him. But Jack also had a way of undermining his family when he had his own plans in mind.
“You weren’t seriously considering his offer, though.”
“No, I wasn’t.” Jayson shook his head. “Gia deserves it. She deserves the best. That’s not me.”
“That’s not you?” Mason let out a sharp laugh. “Give me a break. You know I know both of you, right?”
A frown pleated Jayson’s forehead.
“You’d break your own back trying to prove yourself worthy—trying to prove you’re not your asshole dad. Then when Gia doesn’t need you to handle her, you sulk.”
“Fuck you.” Jayson was aware he was sulking now, though, which pissed him off more.
“Listen, man. You chose a strong woman. That’s not a bad thing. Give her what she really, truly needs, though. Don’t just try and shine in her eyes. Okay?”
What she really, truly needs.
Jayson turned that over long after Mason went inside. Long after the air grew cold and his beer was gone.
Sometime during the night he came to a conclusion about what she needed. It had nothing to do with him or what he wanted.
He was going to have to give up what he wanted more than anything.
And he’d do it. For her.
Twenty-Four
By the next afternoon, Gia couldn’t stand her own company any longer. She’d spent the entire morning cleaning the house. She’d thrown out the float shaped like a giant lemon slice because it reminded her of Jayson whenever she saw it. She’d even hauled the big-ass pasta maker out from under the cabinet and put it into a box bound for Goodwill.
She’d stripped the bed and washed the sheets, before going online to order a new bed so she wouldn’t have to sleep in the same bed where she’d slept with Jayson.
What a mess. What a big, fat, stupid mess.
Her anger had spread beyond the boundaries of her person and her house, which was how she found herself at her parents’ home without an invitation.
When her mother opened the front door, Gia stormed in. “Where is he?”
“Enjoying his afternoon iced tea,” Macy answered as Gia blew by. “On the balcony.”
Shoulders squared, Gia rerouted to the stairs.
“Don’t throw him over!” Macy called up to her.
Her father’s office led out onto a wide balcony outfitted with chairs, a table and an awning. She stepped into the room, rich with red leather and brass accents. Her father’s lair.
She’d never before pictured him in here scheming. Until recently.
The French doors were open and she found her father reading the Wall Street Journal, a glass of whiskey and the carafe within reach.
“Gia.” He smiled. The crinkles around his eyes and his puff of white hair used to be comforting. Not today.
“You owe me an explanation.” She stood over him. “And an apology.”
“I had my reasons.”
“I’m listening.”
He gestured to the chair across from his and folded his paper. “Sit. Please?”
She did, because he said please. She still vibrated with anger and while she wasn’t going to toss him off the balcony she thought emptying his whiskey bottle over the edge might make her feel better.
“You gave Jayson the position of CTO because you didn’t think I could handle it. You completely overlooked me.” She’d come here for his explanation, but she had a point to make, too.
“I wanted him to feel worthy of you,” her father told her. His legs where crossed, and he rested his folded hands on one knee. “I didn’t overlook you, Gia. I know exactly what you’re capable of. World domination, I imagine.”
She didn’t smile at his joke.
“You’re a powerful woman. I couldn’t be prouder of who you’ve become. But, honey, Jayson isn’t from the same world we are.”
“This is about image,” she said. “You were embarrassed of him.”
“No.” Her father’s voice was firm, unyielding. “It was about him feeling as if he belonged and not like he was limping behind the rest of you. He’s a good man. I care about him. I can tell you’re in love with him. Still.”
She slumped in her chair. “Is it that obvious?”
“I know you’re mad at me. I do. And... I’m sorry.”
She lifted her eyes to her father’s to see if he meant it. He looked like he did.
“I was trying to make up for my mistake. I was trying to offer him vice president so you could finally have the position you want. Then he went on about you taking VP and I started talking out of my hat. You know I don’t like to be challenged.”
“Pretty sure I inherited that same instinct.” She gave him a wan smile.
“Jayson was right. You’re the worthiest candidate for vice president. I just didn’t want him to leave the company, especially since you two have been...close lately.”
“You were bribing him to keep seeing me?” Ugh. That was horrible.
“Incentivizing,” Jack corrected. He took her hand in both of his. She tugged it away. “I was wrong to interfere. Then your mother told me you two were, uh, dating.”
Gia winced.
“I wanted to make you happy again,” he continued. “You’ve been unhappy. I only ever wanted you to smile.”
“Well, giving my job away wasn’t the best tactic. I thought he’d earned that position.”
“He did. He’s fantastic in that capacity. I care too much about my company to hire anyone who didn’t make us shine. Honestly, Gia, I thought you’d have given your brothers a run for their money when I announced my retirement. And yet you never wanted CEO.”
“No.” She shook her head. She had ambitions and aspirations but running ThomKnox wasn’t for her.
“And after that, I didn’t think you’d want the vice president position.”
“I don’t know what I want.” But she did. She wanted her ex-husband.
“Jayson cares for you.”
“He does,” she admitted. “But not in the way you were hoping. Not in the way I was hoping.”
Her father hummed and released her hand. “I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past—in the recent past. I’ll call him and apologize. I owe him that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“But don’t blame him for taking the tech position back then. I practically forced him into it,” Jack said. “He took it for you.”
“How was taking CTO from me done for me?”
“I told him you didn’t want it. That you’d...asked me to give it to him.”
“Daddy!”
“You were compensated well and I thought you would find your way to a higher rank. I never doubted you. I was trying to make sure Cooper had a place in our family enterprise.”
“And he does.” Jayson was a big part of the reason ThomKnox was so successful.
“How are things between you two now?” Jack asked carefully.
She shook her head. “They didn’t end well. This afternoon there’s a party happening at work, so I’m sure that won’t be awkward at all.”
Her father stood. “This is my fault.”
As tempting as it was to let her father shoulder the blame, she couldn’t.
“No, you only managed to tip the already leaky boat.” She stood from her chair and touched his arm. “I understand why you did what you did. It was noble, in a way. I wish you would have talked to me, though. I wish Jayson would have talked to me. It would have saved a lot of misunderstanding over the years.”
“Would it?” Jack frowned.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I tend to be as stubborn as you are, Daddy.”
“Stubbornness is a good quality when you want to graduate with honors.” He offered a half smile.
“Not so much in marriage,” she said. “Compromising, I hear, is a thing.”
“Stop blaming yourself. You did what you knew how to do. You guarded your life and your choices. I’m sorry I didn’t honor your union and keep my nose out of it. I’m learning, too.” He held out his arms. “Forgive me?”
“Yes.” She embraced him, understanding better why he’d done what he’d done. It seemed Jack had believed in her strength after all. Even though he’d gone about showing it in a way she didn’t agree with.
“Off you go to claim that VP position, then?” He held her at arm’s length.
“I’ll talk to the executive team about it,” she said. “Taylor. Royce. Brannon.” She poked him in the chest. “Not you. You’re retired, remember?”
“Trying to,” he admitted.
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