by Kieran Lynn
ARTHUR: Why don’t we talk to the soldiers?
OLIVIA: That is a good idea.
ARTHUR: (Shouting.) Hello! Excuse me!
OLIVIA: It’s no good shouting. They’ve got ear defenders on.
REIVER: Ear defenders. I knew I forgot something.
OLIVIA: How can we speak to them?
REIVER: There is a lot of equipment with this job.
ARTHUR: The radio?
REIVER: The radio is just the beginning really.
OLIVIA: Let me use it.
REIVER: You can’t use my radio.
OLIVIA: Why can’t I?
REIVER: You wouldn’t know how to work it. I barely know how to work it.
OLIVIA: I want to speak to George.
REIVER: What do you want to say to him?
OLIVIA: I want to tell him that there is no need for his men to point their guns at us.
REIVER: I can’t give you my radio.
ARTHUR: Pretend we’re threatening you.
REIVER: I feel like you are threatening me.
OLIVIA grabs the stun gun.
OLIVIA: Now give us the radio.
ARTHUR: Why didn’t you just take the radio?
OLIVIA: ... Shit. I didn’t think.
ARTHUR: Now we are threatening you.
REIVER: Are you going to stun me?
OLIVIA: No, I just want to... I can’t remember what we are trying to do.
ARTHUR: Call George.
OLIVIA: Why did I take the stun gun?
ARTHUR: I think you just got carried away.
OLIVIA: Give me the radio.
REIVER: Okay. Okay. I am reaching for the radio.
He hands it over.
OLIVIA: Now don’t move. George. Hello. George. This is Olivia. I’m in the park. Very nice thank you. I took it off one of your border guards. I will give it back to him. I wanted to speak to you first. We have a bit of a situation down here George. It’s getting out of hand. Yes they are. About twenty. Yeah, with guns. I don’t know. I can’t see from here. The long ones. The two handed ones. Really? I’ve never fired one.
ARTHUR: Olivia?
REIVER: She is getting more out of him than I do.
OLIVIA: Yes. He is still over there. No, he isn’t. What exactly is he threatening to do? What? No, we are just people. Normal people. George. I haven’t finished yet. Fine. He wants to speak to you.
REIVER: Had a feeling he might. What’s up George? Sorry sir. No sir. I didn’t give it to her. She took it. She threatened me. With a stun gun. Mine. She took that as well.
ARTHUR: What did he say?
OLIVIA: He said that you had better stay where you are unless you want things to get worse.
REIVER: No. No, I can handle this George. Please... George?
ARTHUR: Right, enough is enough. If my own country won’t help me, then I will go down there and talk to this country. Hopefully, I’ll get more sense out of them than I have got out of you. I will sort this out myself and get back to Olivia, where I belong. I will not take no for an answer.
ARTHUR exits.
OLIVIA: Be careful Arthur.
REIVER: He said that he is sending someone to relieve me.
OLIVIA: I’ve never seen him like that before.
REIVER: That I have failed him.
OLIVIA: He was so worked up.
REIVER: That I was weak and not fit to serve.
OLIVIA: I liked it.
REIVER: He sounded so disappointed.
OLIVIA: I wish he was like that in bed.
REIVER: Olivia, I may be about to lose the best job I have ever had, can I have your attention for a moment?
OLIVIA: What’s wrong?
REIVER: George is sending someone to relieve me.
OLIVIA: He was probably just angry.
REIVER: He said that I couldn’t handle the responsibility.
OLIVIA: We all say things we don’t mean when we are angry.
REIVER: I didn’t want to let him down.
OLIVIA: You are being too hard on yourself.
REIVER: George has high standards. He expects the best from people.
OLIVIA: He will calm down.
REIVER: Will he?
OLIVIA: Of course he will. But you need to show him that you can handle responsibility. No more words, now is the time to act. You need to make it your mission to make sure that this conflict goes no further. Did they teach you about peacekeeping at border guard school?
REIVER: No.
OLIVIA: What did they teach you?
REIVER: How to use the radio, the border guard secret handshake and some judo.
OLIVIA: Talk to George again. Tell him you are going to prove to him that you can do your job.
REIVER: Yes. That’s a good idea. George? I’ve got something... Really? That happened fast. I suppose you’re right, we need as many as we can get, if things are going to get out of hand.
OLIVIA: What is happening?
REIVER: He said we have begun conscription, of everyone aged eighteen to twenty-one. They want to be prepared for the first wave.
OLIVIA: They don’t even know if there’ll be a first wave.
REIVER: George? He’s gone.
OLIVIA: Conscription?
REIVER: See, it isn’t all bad, Arthur may be in a foreign country, but at least he beat the draft.
ARTHUR enters in the uniform of the country he is in.
ARTHUR: They said they wanted to be prepared for the first wave.
OLIVIA: Take that off Arthur.
ARTHUR: I can’t. They told me I had to put it on. I told them I was from the other country, but they called me a traitor and threatened to have me shot. I told them I was joking. I was scared, I didn’t know what to do.
OLIVIA: (To REIVER.) It is all up to you now. If you want to convince George that you are man enough to do your job, then you need to prevent this from going any further, you need to explain that it has all been a misunderstanding and you need to get Arthur back where he belongs.
REIVER: Right, here is what I will do. I will go and talk to the guards. No more radios. Face to face. I am going to go down and get this all straightened out, and nothing is going to distract me.
REIVER exits. Silence.
OLIVIA: Could you live without me Arthur?
ARTHUR: ...I suppose so.
OLIVIA: What! Arthur!
ARTHUR: Oh. I didn’t understand the question. I mean no. I couldn’t.
OLIVIA: You could?
ARTHUR: No. Well, I wouldn’t want to. But I could. Couldn’t you survive without me?
OLIVIA: ...I don’t know.
ARTHUR: Of course you could. We choose to be together, we don’t need to be together.
OLIVIA: You choose to be with me?
ARTHUR: Of course.
OLIVIA: Isn’t love supposed to be a power out of our control?
Aren’t you supposed to need me? To be incapable of life without me?
ARTHUR: I don’t know.
OLIVIA: So what would you do if you could never get back?
ARTHUR: I would be very upset.
OLIVIA: And then?
ARTHUR: Well, I suppose eventually, I would start to get on with my life.
OLIVIA: Do you think you would find someone else?
ARTHUR: Eventually.
OLIVIA: How can you say this?
ARTHUR: Well there are a lot of people. And we are not all that different are we? At some point in my life I am bound to meet someone else who I like.
OLIVIA: You make it so simple. Like finding another pair of shoes after your old ones are worn out.
ARTHUR: I don’t know Olivia. I don’t want to know. I would be perfectly happy not knowing anything about my life. Just like a duck.
OLIVIA: Arthur, you are not a duck. You will never be a duck.
ARTHUR: I can dream, can’t I?
OLIVIA: All you do is dream Arthur. But not about me it seems.
REIVER enters, with a very big rifle.
REIVER: L
ook at this.
ARTHUR: What did they say?
OLIVIA: Why have you got that?
REIVER: All the border guards are getting one.
ARTHUR: We have to wait a week before we get guns.
REIVER: So did we, but what with war an almost certainty, they wanted everyone to be armed.
ARTHUR: That’s not fair. What did they say about getting me back over there?
REIVER: Oh no. I forgot to ask.
ARTHUR: You forgot?
REIVER: I feel taller with this.
ARTHUR: How could you forget?
REIVER: Do I look taller?
OLIVIA: Where are his papers?
REIVER: Oh. They have taken your papers.
ARTHUR: What?
REIVER: They told me to hand them over. I didn’t know what else to do.
OLIVIA: So he has no identification?
REIVER: I’m really sorry.
OLIVIA: We have absolutely no way of proving he is, who he says he is?
REIVER: I said I was sorry.
ARTHUR: How am I ever going to get back?
REIVER: Well, you couldn’t come back anyway, not dressed like that. Although, maybe, if you were a spy we could help you out. Is that something you might be interested in?
ARTHUR: You want me to become a spy?
REIVER: That’s a good idea. George will like that. You scratch our backs, we can scratch yours.
OLIVIA: He doesn’t want his back scratched.
ARTHUR: I’d make a good spy.
REIVER: I could be your contact.
ARTHUR: I’ve always had a flare for espionage.
REIVER: We could set up an underground network.
ARTHUR: La Résistance.
REIVER: We need a secret handshake and code names.
ARTHUR: Can mine be Peter Pan?
OLIVIA: No. No no no. Arthur, you are not becoming a spy.You are going to go back down there, give them back their uniform, and then come back here in your own clothes.
ARTHUR: I was drafted.
OLIVIA: I don’t care what you were. Down there now.
ARTHUR exits.
REIVER: Bye Peter.
OLIVIA: His name is Arthur.
REIVER: That’s right. Arthur. Anything else you heard, I would ask you to forget, you could compromise La Resistance.
OLIVIA: La Resistance doesn’t exist.
REIVER: That’s right Olivia. La Resistance does not exist.
ARTHUR re-enters, with a very big rifle.
ARTHUR: Look what they gave me.
OLIVIA: I don’t believe this.
REIVER: It’s not as big as mine.
ARTHUR: It’s bigger.
REIVER: No it isn’t.
ARTHUR: Is.
OLIVIA: It’s a good job I don’t have a gun.
ARTHUR: And they gave me a stun gun.
REIVER: I had one first.
ARTHUR: And a radio.
REIVER: Whatever.
ARTHUR: There is someone on the end of it. His name is Geoff. He is my superior.
REIVER: Good for you.
ARTHUR: He is a nice guy.
REIVER: Why don’t you go and marry him then?
ARTHUR: Shut up!
REIVER: You shut up!
OLIVIA: ARTHUR, go and give that gun back.
ARTHUR: I tried, they made me take it.
OLIVIA: Well, make them take it back.
ARTHUR: You say that like it is easy.
REIVER exits, unnoticed. He begins bringing on sandbags and putting them in a line along the border. He can do it throughout the scene until a substantial wall has been built – He also leaves his gun offstage. ARTHUR and OLIVIA are wrapt in their argument and do not notice, this argument must build quite steadily, but seriously, so that soon they are ready to kill each other.
OLIVIA: Isn’t it?
ARTHUR: No, it isn’t. These are soldiers you are talking about.
OLIVIA: So?
ARTHUR: So, some of them are really tall.
OLIVIA: What difference does that make?
ARTHUR: And they have all got tattoos.
OLIVIA: You need to stop letting people push you around.
ARTHUR: I need to stop letting you push me around.
OLIVIA: I don’t push you around.
ARTHUR: You try your best.
OLIVIA: Well, if you had listened in the first place this would never have happened.
ARTHUR is in the way of REIVER’s next sandbag.
REIVER: Excuse me.
ARTHUR does, without looking up, continuing to argue.
ARTHUR: It’s because I listened to you.
OLIVIA: What?
ARTHUR: You told me to cross the border and I end up unconscious.
OLIVIA: That wasn’t my fault.
ARTHUR: You tell me to talk to them and I end up recruited in their army.
OLIVIA: You should have /...
ARTHUR: Stop telling me what to do.
OLIVIA: Someone has got to.
OLIVIA is now in REIVER’s way.
REIVER: Excuse me.
She moves continuing.
OLIVIA: Someone has got too, otherwise you would never do anything. You are all talk and no action.
ARTHUR: And what have you done?
OLIVIA: I went home to get your passport.
ARTHUR: Call them papers Olivia.
OLIVIA: I took the stun gun, I spoke to George, I’ve done everything I possibly could Arthur. You have done nothing.
ARTHUR: I went to talk to the /...
OLIVIA: You’ve done nothing but stand there like an idiot.
ARTHUR: Well whenever I try /...
ARTHUR is in REIVER’s way.
REIVER: Excuse me.
ARTHUR: (Turning his rage on REIVER.) What are you doing!
REIVER: I am building a sandbag wall.
ARTHUR: Why?
REIVER: To keep you out.
ARTHUR: It’s only a foot high.
REIVER: Well, to discourage you then.
OLIVIA: I wouldn’t worry about Arthur jumping the wall. Apparently he only does things that I tell him to do.
ARTHUR: Just shut up and leave me alone Olivia.
OLIVIA: ...Maybe I should leave you alone. Maybe I should go home and leave you stranded out here. What would you do then?
ARTHUR: I would be grateful of the peace and quiet.
OLIVIA: I could leave you here with your army friends.
ARTHUR: At least in the army they don’t tell you what to do all the time.
OLIVIA: I hope you have a really nice time telling all the little soldier boys how you wish you were a duck.
ARTHUR: I’d make a good duck.
OLIVIA: YOU DON’T LIKE FLYING!
REIVER has had enough.
REIVER: Will both of you shut up? It is a good job there is a border between you or you would have killed each other.
He looks at his radio.
REIVER: George is calling me. And I am going to take it. Now you two better not start fighting again or you are both taking a one-way trip to Stun Gun City. Hello George.
Silence.
OLIVIA: Is this worth it?
ARTHUR: Worth it?
OLIVIA: Is it worth going through all of this?
ARTHUR: Of course it is. What do you mean?
OLIVIA: Maybe a break is what we really need.
ARTHUR: A break?
OLIVIA: Maybe we need some time to think all of these things over and to remind ourselves of what we each want.
ARTHUR: So now you want me to stay over here?
OLIVIA: Well, with you stranded over there, it does seem like a good time for us to split up.
ARTHUR: I can’t believe I am hearing this.
REIVER enters, he is searching for signal.
REIVER: George? I am not getting any signal. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?
REIVER exits.
OLIVIA: ARTHUR the only way for us to be together, is for one of us to cross t
he line.
ARTHUR: I can’t believe that you want to split up.
OLIVIA: We are already split up.
ARTHUR: We are physically, but I was under the impression that emotionally we were fairly together.
OLIVIA: This line has made me realise that we are not as close as we thought.
ARTHUR: This is what they want us to do Olivia. They want us to give up, go our separate ways, and not cause any more trouble.
OLIVIA: Why don’t we go our separate ways? It would be much easier.
ARTHUR: Life isn’t always about doing what is the easiest.
OLIVIA: Says the man who wishes he was a duck?
ARTHUR: We have to stay together Olivia.
OLIVIA: Why? What’s the point?
ARTHUR: We love each other. Don’t we?
OLIVIA is silent.
ARTHUR: I’ll get back Olivia.
OLIVIA: How?
ARTHUR: I’ll find a way.
OLIVIA: There is only one way Arthur. You cross the line.
ARTHUR: There must be another way.
OLIVIA: This is real life Arthur. People don’t find ways, people do as they are told and stay where they are told to stay.
ARTHUR: Why do people do what they are told to do?
REIVER enters.
REIVER: It wasn’t George. That light flashes when the battery is low.
ARTHUR: Why do people stay where they are told to stay?
REIVER: We are in a bit of a pickle, aren’t we?
REIVER offers OLIVIA some fudge.
OLIVIA: A pickle?
ARTHUR: Why should I need papers?
OLIVIA: I think this is slightly worse than a pickle.
REIVER: A jam?
OLIVIA: Worse.
ARTHUR: Why aren’t you two listening to me?
REIVER: I thought you were being rhetorical.
ARTHUR: Why shouldn’t I just step over the border right now?
REIVER: What?
OLIVIA: What?
ARTHUR: Why is it a crime? I should be allowed to go wherever I want.
REIVER: You should, but you’re not.
ARTHUR: I am a free man, aren’t I? I should be free to be with the woman that I love.
REIVER: When did he become so noble?
OLIVIA: I love you too Arthur.
ARTHUR: I don’t want to be kept apart from you.
REIVER: Arthur, no one cares what you want.
ARTHUR: Why do you have the power to tell me what I can do? Why shouldn’t I just cross the fucking line?
OLIVIA: Yes.
REIVER: I don’t think it would help.
ARTHUR: Well it wouldn’t hurt.
REIVER: It might.
ARTHUR: I need to be in control of my own life.
REIVER: Now is not the time to be brave Arthur.