by Measha Stone
And now, as he stared down into the wastebasket at the pregnancy test glaring up at him, the last piece slid into place. With shaking hands, he reached down to pick up the stick. A wave of relief flooded him at the negative result, mingled with a sense of disappointment. He shook his head at the notion. How could he possibly think of children with Alyssa? She'd never known a real family, so how could she even fit into a situation like that? And would it only be so she'd be provided for—so she wouldn't have to live in shitty apartments and wait tables for the rest of her life?
The sound of his office door shutting drew his attention. Keeping the pregnancy test in hand, he marched into the room where Alyssa stood at his desk with a solemn look on her face. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the test he was holding, and she began to speak, but he threw his hand up in the air to ward off her words.
"I thought you said you were on birth control."
She winced at the harshness of his tone. "I am."
"I've never seen you take the pill," he accused. "And now I find this in my bathroom?" He threw the test down into the garbage beside his desk.
"Alex, what's going on? Why have you been so angry with me?"
He dragged his hand through his hair and stared at her from a safe distance. If he reached for her, touched her, he was sure his resolve would crumble. "I've just been taking stock of a few things. Were you trying to get pregnant this whole time?"
"What? No, I haven't."
"You've made quite the change over the last week." He leaned against his desk. "What happened to wanting your complete independence?"
Her eyes narrowed, and the tension in her shoulders increased.
"Don't want your own place anymore? Don't want to keep your second job to pay your way?"
Her hands balled at her sides.
"I thought you'd be happy," she began, her voice tight as she fought back the emotions bubbling inside her. "I was trying, really trying, and I thought we were happy—"
"Of course we were. You gave what you could to get what you needed. Maybe you're not as different from your mom as you thought." His words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. She stepped back as if he'd slapped her, her eyes widened, and the tears she'd been fighting filled her eyes.
"I trusted you," she whispered. "I thought I could trust you."
"I thought the same thing. I guess we've both learned a lesson here." His chest tightened at the sight of her unshed tears glistening in her eyes. It didn't feel right.
"Yes. I suppose so." Her words were strangled, but her chin thrust upward. She shook her head, as if to shake away thoughts she didn't want, and turned, stalking to the door.
Even if he wanted to stop her, he couldn't. His body rejected every thought of reaching out to her. Feet planted solidly on the floor, his brow furrowed at her stiff spine. He was losing her…why was he losing her?
She flung open the door, and without another word, she slammed it behind her retreating body. He let out a ragged breath and slumped against the desk. What had he done?
Alyssa stood outside the office door trying to collect herself enough to make her way back through the crowd and to the elevators. She didn't think she could get to the breakroom without someone seeing the state she was in, and all she wanted to do was to get as far away from him as possible. She decided her heart would simply have to keep it together until she managed to get somewhere private to breakdown.
The people in the lounge area were mingling and chatting while waiting for the second round of slaves to be brought out. Alyssa managed to squeeze through the crowd and head toward the exit, but not without running into Jessica and Kelly.
"Alyssa?" Jessica grabbed a hold of her arm as she tried to rush past. Her concerned voice mirrored the look in her eyes. "Oh no. What happened?" she asked, glancing behind her toward Alex's closed door.
"Did he yell at you?" Kelly took up the space beside Jessica, looking near angry at the thought.
"No." Alyssa shook her head. She needed to get out of there before the sobs broke free. "I have to go. I have to get away from here." She tugged her arm free of Jessica's grasp.
"Okay, hon," Kelly soothed. "Kendrick and I will take you home."
Jessica nodded to Kelly, then pulled Alyssa into a warm hug. It was too much. A single, hot tear slid down her cheek. "I'll be by later. We'll open a bottle of his most expensive wine."
"I'm not going back there. I have to—" Alyssa broke off her sentence as a sob threatened to escape. She swallowed. "I need to leave."
"Okay. Okay." Jessica released her and looked to Kelly.
"I'll call you in a bit."
"C'mon, ladies." Kendrick placed a large hand on both of their backs, leading them toward the elevator. His expression told Alyssa he was ready to punch someone.
"I don't want to put you out," she quickly said. She’d ruined their play night.
"You aren't, hon," Kelly assured her. "That's not his pissed face, that's his someone-hurt-one-of-my-girls-and-I'm-going-to-ram-my-fist-into-his-face face."
Kendrick stood guard at the elevator doors, protecting the girls behind him.
"What the hell?" He gasped as the elevator dinged. "Is that Erin on the auction block?" Their view was cut off by the elevator doors sliding closed.
Chapter 32
Alyssa woke up to the sunshine blinding her. She wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep. It hadn't seemed like she'd ever be able to calm herself enough to rest. Her pillow was still damp from her uncontrollable tears.
Damn him.
She'd gone over everything he’d said: every word, every syllable, every twitch of his lips. Then she'd racked her brain with memories of the past week, trying to find the moment where she fucked it all up. She couldn't find anything.
Sitting up in bed—Kelly's bed—she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hands. She couldn't stay with Kelly and Kendrick. She needed to figure out her plan—and quick. First, she needed to call the diner and see about getting some of her shifts back. The club was out. After just taking off during her shift, she couldn't imagine she'd still have a job—and Alex was there. He owned the damn place!
Exhaustion swept over her again, and she gently laid back on the pillows. How had she let things get so out of hand? She'd never thought of herself as a twenty-four-seven type of girl. Submissive or otherwise, why had she thought it would work with Alex? He liked the challenge she presented, not her. Once she'd started warming up to him, finding her way into submission, he’d thrown her away.
Her cell rang out his ringtone. She picked up the phone and rejected the call, noticing it was well past noon. There were five text messages from him. She swiped them away. He'd said everything pretty clearly the night before.
He had compared her to her mother. He actually thought she'd tried to get pregnant in order to latch on to him and his money. She'd never wanted his money. Never asked for his help or his charity. But everything was charity. The apartment, the food, the job, probably the sex too. He wasn't into her; he was just using her as a fuck buddy until he was done.
A new shame consumed her. She was as bad as her mother. Her muscles twisted into a pretzel of tension. More than any single bath could unravel.
"Alyssa?" Kelly peeked her head through the door. "You're up. Good." She pushed the door open all the way and walked into the room carrying a cup of coffee and a small plate of toast. "I thought you might want some coffee. I tried to sneak a little wine in, but Kendrick took it from me." She made a face before placing the items on the nightstand.
"I don't blame him." Alyssa sounded pitiful, even to herself.
"Don't start that," Kelly warned. "Anything we have is yours. You don't have to even ask. He's just such a prude when it comes to early drinking."
"Thank you, Kelly." Alyssa sat up again, leaning on the headboard.
"I’ve gotten two calls from Alex so far. He's determined to see you." Kelly plopped down on the bed, facing Alyssa. "I told him to fuck off."
"Thank you. I do
n't want to see him. I can't." Alyssa shook her head. "I need to shower, and I need to get a hold of my old landlord. If I’m lucky, he’ll have something available in the building. It wasn’t the Ritz, but it was affordable."
"I thought Alex said that place was a dump," Kendrick said from the doorway.
Alyssa shook her head again. "It was fine," she tried to assure him, but he didn't look convinced.
"I'm pretty sure he told me the elevator was hanging by a literal thread," he continued.
"Don't pester her," Kelly tried to chastise him, but ended up muttering an apology herself when he glared down at her. She turned to Alyssa. "You aren't going anywhere. You'll stay here until you figure something out or until Alex apologizes enough for you to take him back."
"I can't go back to him. He…" Alyssa took a long breath. "He doesn't want me."
"Then why's he blowing up everyone's phone?" Kendrick asked. "Hon, I'm sure he fucked up. I could tell the moment you stepped out of his office he'd done something awful, but the guy who's been texting us and calling us isn't a guy who doesn't want you."
"That's true. Jessica called a little while ago and said he called her three times this morning. She wouldn't tell him where you went last night, only that we drove you. I'm surprised he hasn't shown up here."
"I told him to stay away," Kendrick informed them. "I told him when you were ready to hear him grovel, you'd call him."
Kelly turned away from him to Alyssa. "See? We have our own bodyguard. Now, eat up, take a shower, and we'll figure out what to do next. I'm thinking we meet up with Jess for lunch. I've been trying to get a hold of Erin all morning, but she won't answer her cell, and Jonathan won't answer either. Something's going on. Kendrick swears he saw her being auctioned off as we left last night. Jessica said she ran into Alex's office to give him a piece of her mind right after we left, so she didn't see. I'm not sure if I should be worried or excited."
"I don't get it," Alyssa said in amazement, looking from Kelly to Kendrick. "I haven't known you guys all that long. You've known Alex for years, why would you help me like this?"
"Because." Kelly shrugged. "You're family. Alex is family and so are you. We watch out for each other, even when one of us is being a complete asshole and deserves to be punched in the dick."
"Kelly." Kendrick's chuckle served as warning enough to bring the smile back to Kelly's face and wipe away the vengeance lurking there.
"Bottom line. Everything is going to work out. I know it." Kelly stood from the bed. "Now eat, then shower. I'll call Jess and let her know where to meet us for lunch." Without waiting for a response from Alyssa, she scooted Kendrick out of the doorway and left her to herself.
Chapter 33
The week from hell showed no signs of ending as Alex sat at his kitchen table on Thursday night. He'd tried everything he could to get to Alyssa. He'd even pounded on Kendrick's door, demanding to be let in. Kendrick had merely opened the door and shook his head at him.
"Let me see her, dammit." Alex had demanded.
"No way. She's not ready to see you, and Kelly is pretty close to scratching your eyes out." Kendrick had stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him.
"I have to see her, to make sure she's okay, to tell her how wrong I was," Alex had pleaded, but Kendrick wouldn't budge.
"Normally, I'd say go for it. Throw her over your shoulder and carry her away, but I saw her face last week, man. Whatever you said, you crushed her. She's not ready to face you, and you aren't getting near her until she is." Kendrick had acted as a concerned friend. He had been protecting Alyssa.
"Fine. But you do what you have to do to get her to answer her fucking phone." Alex hadn't been able to hide his irritation. "I have to tell her how sorry I am—how wrong I was."
"I'll relay that message. Maybe that will help." Kendrick had gone back into the apartment, leaving Alex to go home and lick his wounds—wounds of his own making.
Alex laid low after that attempt, only sending a few texts a day and hoping she was at least reading them. Jessica had stopped over to pack up a bag for Alyssa. She had purposely only taken a few changes of clothing. Alex was grateful for that…even if Jessica was still glaring at him.
He sat now at his table with a book that made little sense to him. Jessica had dropped it from Alyssa’s things on her way out the other day. The beat-up leather-bound journal poured out her entire childhood leading up to only a few weeks prior.
There were no journal entries of a worried child, or lovesick teen, but a running total of every generosity his father bestowed on her. Lists of clothing that arrived with an estimated value placed beside them written in a young girl’s handwriting.
It was the last page that had him staring at the table with a level of self-hatred he'd never experienced before. At the top was his name written in block letters and below it a financial accounting of their time together. She'd accounted for rent, utilities, grocery estimates, even the price of the dress he'd bought for her to wear to the auction.
The bell rang, causing him to launch himself from his chair and sprint to the door. It had to be her. Without stopping to check the peephole, he opened the door to find Paul glowering at him.
"Dad! What are you doing here?" He ushered his father inside. Paul rarely made the trip to the city, mostly because of the traffic and his intolerance of it.
"Where is she?" he demanded, steam escaping his ears. "Where is that little girl? I am going to tan her hide!" He stalked into the apartment farther. "Alyssa! Get your ass out here!"
"She's not here," Alex whispered. "She's gone." He firmed his voice and looked at his father. "I was hoping you had talked with her."
Paul sized him up and took a deep breath. "What did you do?" he demanded with less venom than Alex deserved.
"I fucked it all up." Alex stuffed his hands into his pockets.
"Obviously. Get me a beer and tell me what happened."
Paul listened intently as Alex went over everything that had transpired with Alyssa over the past few months. He divulged his secret life, his secret business, and his secret desire to quit advertising. Not being one to spill too much too fast, he managed to leave out any personal details of his relationship with Alyssa. When he finally got to the events of the night of the auction, he paused. His father was going to hate him for what he'd said. He hated him for what he'd said.
Alex couldn't bring his eyes to meet his father's after relaying the last bit of information. "You idiot," Paul finally breathed out.
"I know."
"Well, that might explain this." Paul shuffled in his seat and pulled out a check, tossing it on the table toward Alex.
Alex picked it up. Every muscle in his body clenched, and his heart sank. A check, neatly written out to Paul for $8,546. Paul tossed another check made out to Alex for $1,435. The totals matched the ledger he'd been looking through when Paul arrived.
"Those arrived in today's mail. I've been trying to get a hold of her, and she won't answer."
Alex dragged his eyes up to meet his father’s, expecting to see uncontrolled rage. Instead, he found concern. "She's been tracking everything you did for her since she was a kid. Look." Alex pushed the worn book toward Paul, who dug out his glasses and looked it over. "This is why she wouldn't give up the diner job. She's been scraping to pay you back."
"And you." Paul pointed to the book. "That girl got it in her head that she was a charity case, that everything I did for her was out of complete pity. She never understood her damn worth. Always thought she was too stupid to get anywhere in life. That's why she pushed against school so hard, she didn't think she had the smarts." Paul shook his head. "And you! You go and say a thing like that! I ought to beat the hell out of you!"
"I'm fully aware you should. And I'd willingly take it if it meant she'd at least take my calls." He'd been so wrapped up in his work, trying to balance both jobs left him exhausted and open to the suggestible idiocy of an asshole. Alyssa wasn't anything like her mother.
>
She was everything to him, he knew that—had realized it weeks ago. He thought of her constantly, and when he couldn't be with her, he craved her. Her touch, the sound of her voice, the gentle smile she'd give him from across the lounge. He'd let his own fears destroy the best thing that had ever happened to him.
"Why did you hide all this from me, son?" Paul's question, and the disappointment his voice, hit Alex hard. His father had never been disappointed with him. Irritated at childish pranks or temper tantrums, but never truly disappointed.
"I guess I thought you wouldn't understand," Alex admitted. "I didn't want to disappoint you."
"Disappoint me? Hell, son, you think you're the first man to give his woman a slap on the ass when she got out of line?"
"It's more than that."
"Oh, I know." Paul grinned. "I know plenty. We may not have used all the fancy labels and gone to high class sex clubs, but plenty could be arranged in a small bedroom of a suburban house."
Alex stared at his father while letting his words sink in. "I don't want to know," he decided out loud, and was rewarded with a whooping laugh from his father.
"Look. If the club is where you find your happiness, buy that other quarter you talked about and give it a real go. You said it's doing great. I don't care if you're rich or poor, just so long as you're happy. Don't slave away at the advertising gig if it's not where your heart is. Hey, I worked construction for thirty-five years. I may have hated some days, but I loved my job."
"That resolves that issue. But there's this issue." He picked up the checks and waved them.
"Well, obviously you need to apologize, and in a big way. Then you need to shred these checks. I'll be damned if I take this money from her. She’s been over-working herself for years to save this kind of money. I ought to tan her hide for working all those extra shifts, scraping away just to pay back some make-believe debt when she could've been going to school!"
"You leave the hide tanning to me." Alex waved his father down. The man would give himself a heart attack if he kept getting so riled up.