by Kay Correll
“Cece made a mistake. A mistake over twenty years ago. She’s never forgiven herself, even though Bree has forgiven her. We make mistakes when we’re kids. It’s life. She’s been paying for the mistake for a very long time. She was just starting to make peace with it… and you’re screwing that up.”
“Me?”
“Don’t you see? If you walk away from her now because she told you the truth… she’ll just use it to punish herself again.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t let your hang-up about Felicity and your business partner ruin a good thing. Cece is not Felicity. She’s a great woman. Kindhearted. And if you break her heart… well, that’s on you. She was honest with you. You do what you need to do… but walking out on her now will crush her.”
A heavy weight pressed against his chest. He hadn’t meant to hurt Cece. He’d just… been… afraid? Nah, he wasn’t afraid, he just couldn’t deal with someone cheating on him again. He needed to trust them. He looked at Jason standing there glaring at him.
“Maybe you’re just too scared to take a leap of faith. Too scared to risk your heart. She’s worth it, you know.” Jason turned to leave but glanced back. “And as I said, you’re a fool if you let this mess things up between the two of you.”
He sat there for a long time after Jason left, mulling over his words. Maybe Jason was right, he’d been a fool. He was still being a fool. Was he going to let his fear destroy what he had with Cece? What he wanted with Cece?
He jumped up from the table, knocking the stool over in his haste. He hurried out of the chalet and off to find Cece.
He didn’t want to be a fool for one more minute.
Cece sat on the swing by the lake, unable to get motivated to go over to the lodge to work. Or maybe she was just making sure she’d avoid Zach. She was certain it would crush her to see him again. She needed time to get herself together and find a way to hide the pain. She’d hoped the swing would bring her some kind of comfort. She trailed her fingers over the well-worn wood, but still, she couldn’t find the energy to get up and do something. Anything. Anything but sit here and feel sorry for herself.
She turned at the sound of someone approaching and her breath caught in her lungs.
“We need to talk.” Zach stood in front of her, not asking her, but telling her.
“It’s okay. I understand. I don’t need you to spell it out for me. You can’t trust me, and trust means everything to you.” She swallowed and glanced to the left, trying to avoid looking at him.
He sat down next to her, and it took all her power not to scoot away from him. His familiar fresh, outdoorsy scent surrounded her, and she wanted to escape it. Escape this one last confrontation.
He took her hand, and she looked at him in surprise. “Look, it’s my hang-up about Felicity. Jason ever so kindly pointed out to me that I’m being a fool.” He looked right into her eyes. “And I am.”
She sat there in silence, stunned, letting him speak.
“I’m sorry I walked away. It was wrong. I just—I know my baggage with Felicity and my partner is… well, it’s my baggage, my problem. You’re not like her. I know that.”
She looked at him as sadness overwhelmed her. He was giving her a chance. Giving them a chance.
And yet… she couldn’t take it.
She’d never really know if he trusted her. And he probably wouldn’t. It would always be a question in the back of his mind. She couldn’t do that to him and didn’t think she could do that to herself either.
“So, we can go back to how things were, okay? Before I was a fool.” His eyes pleaded with her.
She sat there, looking into his eyes, searching for the right words. “Zach… no. You’ll never truly trust me. I don’t want you to have to live like that. With that always hanging over our relationship. I’ve made my mistake and I’ll live with it. But you don’t have to.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“But it is. It will always be there between us.”
“I can work with it. I’ll get over it.” He squeezed her hand.
She pulled her hand away from his. “You shouldn’t have to deal with it or work with it. I just want you to be happy. Not in a relationship that you’ll always question.”
“It won’t be like that.” He shook his head.
She stood. “I know it won’t because there isn’t an us. There isn’t a relationship. I can’t forgive myself for what I did, so why should you?”
He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes filled with sadness. “Or maybe…” He hesitated. “Maybe you’re afraid of forgiving yourself. Afraid to take a chance on being happy.”
His words bit into her with their hint of truth.
But it was what it was. She’d never been able to forgive herself, and she wasn’t going to put him in the middle of a relationship where he’d always have doubts. She turned and walked back to the cabin, her heart breaking, leaving him sitting alone on the swing.
But certain she’d made the right decision. For him. For them.
Chapter 20
A week later Cece walked around the loft area of the chalet. She’d made sure Zach was away from the job site before she’d trekked over there. She glanced around the area, visually picturing the finished loft in her mind. They could use this area, with chairs, if the bride had a larger wedding. Everything had been planned so well on this design. The flooring up here was reclaimed wood, rich in color and worn to a luminous patina. The area had been stair-stepped up so anyone sitting up here would have a view of the arbor below in the main area.
The workers still needed to finish the front railing to the loft. They’d only put up a temporary rail. But this part of the chalet at least was almost finished. Well, except for the large picture window. The window had come with a crack in it, and Zach was waiting on a replacement. Or so she’d heard. Because he didn’t talk to her. If he saw her come over to work, he headed the other direction. Not that she blamed him.
She sank onto a stack of boxes near the edge of the loft. The view was beautiful from up here, too. They were so close to finishing if something else didn’t come along to ruin things. The last inspection was scheduled on the chalet, and Nora said that Zach assured her everything would be ready.
Madeline and Gil were due here in just a few days.
She should be happy. She’d done a good job for Nora on the venue. It was going to be a lovely place to get married. Mac had finished the arbor, and it was even better than she imagined. She looked down at the arbor sitting in front of the windows spanning the front of the chalet.
One of those windows was missing, too. She frowned. There wasn’t much time, and she wanted it all to be perfect for Madeline.
The stairs creaked slightly and suddenly Zach appeared in the loft. He looked as surprised to see her as she was to see him.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were up here.”
“I was just leaving.” She stood, and a box she’d been sitting on crashed behind her.
He hurried forward and picked it up, glancing at the label. “Oh, no problem, nothing breakable”
“Sorry.”
He set the box on top of the stack she’d been sitting on. She took a step away. “I should go.”
He shrugged. “Don’t let me chase you off.”
“No… I…” A noise behind Zach made her reach out her hand. “The boxes—”
He whirled around, trying to catch them before they cascaded to the ground floor. She watched in horror as he lost his footing as he wrestled with the boxes. His arms flung wide as he struggled to catch his balance.
Time stood still. Peter’s face and his sparkling blue eyes flashed before her as he tumbled over the side of the trail. Zach’s stormy blue eyes opened wide as he struggled not to fall off the loft.
A scream escaped her, torn from her throat, raw and full of terror. “Zach!”
A loud cracking noise exploded through the air as the railing split. She watched in disbelief and re
ached out for him, to steady him, to catch him. But he disappeared over the edge, followed by an awful crash as he and the boxes hit the floor below.
She whirled around, not daring to breathe, and rushed down the stairs. Zach lay crumpled on a stack of smashed boxes. She cleared some debris to reach him. “Zach? Zach, are you okay?”
“I—” His eyes opened but fluttered closed again. “Not sure.”
“Don’t move.” She scanned the area. No one was around. “Help. Somebody help.”
No one answered. She reached in her pocket for her phone but realized she’d left it at the lodge.
“Help. Help us.” It was all so eerily familiar. All alone with an injured person. No one around. Yelling for help. She closed her eyes briefly to chase away the memories. “Help us!” She yelled again. And again.
She brushed a lock of his hair away from his face and noticed the blood on his hair. “Sh, don’t move. Don’t move.”
The sound of loud footsteps on the wooden floor drew her attention from Zach’s ashen face.
“Oh, Jason, thank goodness. Call for help. Zach fell from the loft.”
Jason grabbed his phone and dialed as he sank beside her on the floor. “Need an ambulance. At the lodge. Zach Berry has taken a fall. Not sure.” He turned to her. “How long ago?”
Minutes? Hours? “I don’t know.” She panicked and looked at Zach. “Maybe ten minutes? I’m not sure.”
“Ten minutes, maybe. He’s kind of conscious, but not totally. There’s blood on his head. No, we won’t move him. Right. We’re at the chalet job site. I’ll get someone to meet you at the entrance to the lodge and direct you here.” He clicked off his phone and redialed. “Mom, Zach’s hurt. I’ve called an ambulance. Meet them at the entrance and bring them here to the chalet. Yes, Cece is here with him. Okay.”
He dropped his cell phone and leaned over Zach. “You’re going to be okay. I’ve called for help. Hang in there, buddy.”
Zach’s eyes opened briefly, and he opened his mouth.
“No, don’t talk. Just stay quiet.” She touched his face as he closed his eyes again. She looked at Jason and could see the concern in his eyes.
“What happened?” Jason asked softly.
“I was up in the loft. He came up… the stack of boxes I was sitting on started to fall and he tried to steady them and lost his balance.” She closed her eyes and felt Jason’s hand on her shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay. Help is coming. I’m here with you. It’s going to be okay.” His words were a litany of comfort as he tried to soothe her, but it wasn’t working.
Flashes of Peter’s fall and Zach’s fall mingled and twisted in her brain. It was all she could do to take in breath after breath, her eyes on Zach’s face, willing him to be okay.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. She timed her breaths to his jagged ones.
“Zach, please, please be okay.” She whispered the words against his cheek as her tears fell on his face.
She sat in the waiting room of the hospital.
The same hospital she’d sat at over twenty years ago when they’d brought Peter here. Only Peter had already been dead when they brought him here.
Zach was not dead. She kept reminding herself.
Zach was going to be fine. He was. If only her thoughts could make it so.
When she’d come here with Peter, she’d known he was gone. She’d known that, but his family hadn’t. She’d had to stop them as they rushed into the hospital, and she’d started to tell them what had happened.
But then she’d fainted.
She refused to give in to a fainting spell now. She would be strong. She looked down at Zach’s blood on her shirt and wiped at it ineffectually with a tissue.
She jumped up from her chair and paced the waiting room. Jason sat leafing through a magazine but wasn’t even pretending he was reading it or concentrating on the pictures in it.
She paced back to stand by Jason. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Sure he will.” Though Jason’s eyes didn’t show the certainty that his words said.
“Cece.” The familiar sound of her sister’s voice broke her thoughts. Bree rushed over and wrapped her arms around her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s… Zach.”
“Nora called me and told me. I got here as soon as I could.” Bree looked closely at her. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look pale.”
“I’m fine. Really.” She wasn’t, but—well, how she felt didn’t matter now.
“Are you Zach Berry’s family?” The doctor entered the waiting room.
Jason stood and walked over to him. “Zach’s sister is on her way. He’s the builder working at our lodge on the lake. This is Cece, Zach’s… friend.”
“Ah, that’s who he’s asking for. Cece.”
“He’s asking for me? He’s awake?”
“He was. We gave him something for the pain.”
“Is he…” She sucked in some air, but it didn’t seem to have any oxygen in it. “Is he going to be okay?’
“He’s one lucky guy. Dislocated shoulder that we’re going to fix when the pain meds hit. No broken bones. Couple dozen stitches in his head. Possible concussion. We’re going to keep him a day or so. And he’s going to be pretty bruised up and sore for a while.”
She started to crumble then, but Jason steadied her. “He’s going to be okay. It’s all okay.”
The tears started to pour in hot streams down her cheeks. For Zach. For Peter. For the relief she felt right now.
He was going to be okay. Zach was okay.
She turned to Bree. “Can you take me home?”
Her sister frowned but took her by the arm. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
“You’re not going to go in and see him?” Jason questioned.
“No… I…” She shut her eyes and slashed at the tears on her cheeks. She opened her eyes. “No. He needs to rest.”
“But you’re coming back when he’s awake?” Jason stared at her and Bree shot him a leave-her-alone look.
“Come on, sweetie, let me get you home.” Bree led her out of the waiting room, out of the hospital, out into the fresh air and sunshine.
Only, she still couldn’t breathe.
Chapter 21
Cece slept fitfully all night, tossing and turning with dreams of people she loved falling and falling. She’d woken up with a start, again and again, her heart pounding. She finally gave up trying to sleep and went to go sit out by the lake, wrapped in a quilt. She watched as the stars began to fade and the sun began its magic, lighting up the sky.
Bree came to join her, pressing a cup of coffee into her hands. “You been up long?”
“A while.”
“You going to head in and see Zach?” Her sister settled on the swing beside her.
“I—I don’t know. I mean, we broke up and that hasn’t changed.”
“It could.”
“Could what?”
“It could change.”
“But he’ll never forget what I did. That I cheated with Peter. It will always be there between us.”
“Well, it’s there between you and me, and we don’t let it ruin things for us,” Bree said matter-of-factly.
“And it took us over twenty years to get to this point.”
Bree turned to face her. “It’s like this, Cece. And listen to me carefully. You almost lost him yesterday. You deserve happiness. Someone who loves you. Zach does love you even if he doesn’t realize it yet.”
“No, he doesn’t.” She pursed her lips. Did he?
“He does. And you have to forgive yourself and realize that you are worthy of love. Worthy of happiness. Please, it’s time to forgive yourself and move on with your life.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive myself.” Her words were but a whisper.
“Then you’re making the biggest mistake of your life. Bigger than the one with Peter. You’re throwing away happiness because you’re afraid to admit you deserve it.
You’ve never been a coward, Cece. Don’t start being one now.”
Bree stood up and walked away and Cece looked out at the lake. No wind stirred the surface. The birds were silent. It felt like the whole world was waiting for her decision.
Zach slowly woke up the next day with the worst headache in the history of headaches along with every single muscle in his body screaming at him. He peered between slit eyelids and squinted against the light. A machine beeped. He glanced around the sterile hospital room as the memories slowly came back to him.
The fall.
He closed his eyes.
He started to reach up to touch a sore spot on his head, but his arm was trapped in a sling. He licked his lips, sure he was dying of thirst.
“Hey, buddy.” Jason’s voice made him attempt to open his eyes again.
“Jason.” His voice croaked the word. “Water.”
“Sure. Here.” Jason held a glass of water and helped him with the straw.
The cool water soothed his parched throat. “Thanks.” His voice still sounded like a scratched record.
“You remember what happened?” Jason offered him another sip, which he took gratefully.
He started to nod yes but quickly realized that was a mistake. He gritted his teeth against the pain. “A fall.”
“You were lucky, though. No broken bones. Dislocated shoulder. A bit of a concussion. Some stitches in your scalp.”
He swallowed as he tried to gather his thoughts. “Cece. She was there. She’s okay? I saw her reaching for me…”
“She’s fine.”
He turned his head slowly—ever so slowly—to look around the room. “Is she… here?” He tried to hide how eager he was to see her.
“She was here yesterday. Bree took her home.”
“But she’s okay? She screamed and—”
“She’s pretty shaken up. I think it was so similar to watching… to seeing Peter fall over the edge of the trail.”
“I bet she’s upset. It must have brought back all those memories. I’m a fool. I know how to be safe at construction sites. I just wasn’t concentrating. I—” He smiled sheepishly. “She just throws me off balance. Literally this time I guess.”