Nikolai

by Sandy Alvarez

  "Don't for one second think I get joy out of anything that causes you pain, Malyshka."

  "Nikolai," I breathe, closing my eyes.

  The grip on my neck tightens. Nikolai gently pulls me in closer, his hand still wrapped around the back of my neck. There is not one inch of space between our bodies and I suck in a sharp breath when my breasts press flush against the hard plains of his chest. "I'd sooner cut off my arm than to intentionally cause you pain, Leah. Yesterday, I fucked up. I was caught off guard by my mother showing up with Katya, but that's no excuse. I take full responsibility. Had I been there when you showed up on my doorstep, I…" he doesn't finish his sentence.

  A flash of pain crosses Nikolai's face, and on instinct, I reach up and palm his cheek, running my fingers through his beard.

  "Fuck, baby." He shakes his head. "When Maxim told me you had been in an accident, I lost it. All I could think about was getting to you."

  "Nikolai," I whisper.

  "No, Leah. You don't understand. The thought of losing you. Fuck." Nikolai rests his forehead against mine. I don't realize I am holding my breath until Nikolai says, "Breathe, Malyshka."

  I do as he says, my breath washing over his face. I can't help looking at his mouth as he speaks. I bite my bottom lip at the memory of our kiss. And when a growl rumbles through Nikolai's chest, my gaze abandons his full lips and travels up his face to see his nostrils flare, and his pupils dilate. Suddenly my tummy flutters as I recognize the look he has. It's the same look he gave me the night I played for him. "Fuck it," he bites out just before his mouth crashes down on mine, breathing life back into me. One second, I feel empty, and the next, his kiss if giving me back all I lost.

  An hour later, Nikolai is sitting on the sofa in the living room with Chinese takeout on the coffee table in front of us, and I am still trying to come down from my post kiss fog. Nikolai and I spent what seemed like forever exploring each other's mouths. That kiss left no doubt on exactly how he feels about me. But that doesn't mean I still don't have questions. I stab my chopsticks into my noodles, contemplating how to broach the subject of his mother. Nikolai and I have been spending a lot of time together, but he hasn't talked much about himself. Sure, we discussed his father and, of course, Logan, but never his mom. His confession about his mother showing up has me wanting to know more about his relationship with her. Although my gut tells me, it's not a good one.

  Setting my food down on the table, I turn toward Nikolai, who is sitting beside me. His eyes are already assessing me, and I realize he must have been watching my contemplation the past few minutes because he too has stopped eating like he knew what conversation was coming.

  "I've never heard you talk about your mom. Earlier, you said she showed up unannounced. Was that a good thing or bad?"

  Nikolai lets out a heavy sigh. "Whenever something concerns my mother, you can assume it's bad. My mother has spent my whole life lying and manipulating me. She did the same to my father for the length of their marriage. The stunt she pulled yesterday with Katya was just another one of her tactics. To be clear, before this conversation about my mother goes any further, I want you to believe me when I say Katya was never my fiancé or girlfriend."

  "She was someone you were intimate with, though, right?" Nikolai's jaw clenches, and he looks like he doesn't want to answer the question but does anyway.

  "Yes. It's been over a year since I last saw her, though."

  At his age, I knew Nikolai was no choir boy. But having it thrown in my face stung.

  Nikolai cups my cheek. "I know that hurt you, Leah. I'd probably lose my shit if I ever come face to face with an old boyfriend." He shakes his head. "Fuck, I don't like even thinking about you with someone else."

  An old boyfriend? Nikolai thinks I've had boyfriends. Oh, God. How embarrassing.

  "Um…I don't have any ex-boyfriends." I look down at my lap, my face heating at my confession.

  "What? Surly you…"

  I shake my head before the last word leaves his mouth. Nikolai places his finger under my chin, forcing me to look up. "Are you telling me there has been no one before me?"

  "No one."

  "In every sense?"

  My breathing picks up because I know he's referring to sex. "Yes," I whisper.

  Nikolai's pupils dilate. The heat coming off him is palpable as he runs the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. I don't know what possesses me to look down, but when I do, I gasp at the sight of his very noticeable erection, resting against the inside of his thigh, tightly concealed behind the zipper of his jeans. Realizing my mouth is hanging open, I snap it shut and bring my eyes back to his. Only his focus is not on my face. No, Nikolai's attention is on my chest. And when I look down, I see why. My nipples are peeking through the front of my t-shirt. My chest begins to rise and fall with my heavy breathing. Nikolai's arm that was resting on the back of the sofa drops to around my waist. The next thing I know, I'm straddling his lap, and his mouth is on mine. The moment my center presses down on his hard length, my mouth opens on a groan, and Nikolai takes full advantage, sneaking his tongue past my lips.

  Breaking our kiss, Nikolai bites his way along my jaw, and his husky tone fills my ear. "I want to make you come. Will you let me?"

  Unable to speak, I nod.

  "Stand up, Malyshka."

  Nervously, I slide off his lap and stand between his spread legs. He doesn't take his eyes off mine as he hooks his thumbs into the band of my leggings and drags them down my legs, leaving me in my panties. I grab hold of his shoulders as I step out of them. It takes all the strength I can muster not to fidget at how exposed I am. I fail when I fist the hem of my shirt and try pulling it down to cover myself.

  Nikolai knocks my hands away. "Stop. Never hide from me. Do you understand? I love your body, Leah. You have the body of a woman." He runs his palms up my calves and over my thighs until both hands cup my butt. "Straddle me," he commands, his voice gruff.

  Setting over his lap, with my knees on either side, Nikolai slips his hands under my shirt, cupping my full breast. My eyes close and I let out a throaty moan when he lightly pinches my nipples. His hands then travel to my back and downward, inside my panties. My nails dig into the flesh of his shoulders when one hand slowly makes its way to the front.

  "Relax for me, Leah." At the soothing tone of his voice, I allow all the tension to leave my body and focus only on the pleasure Nikolai is giving me. The world around me fades away, and the only thing I feel is his touch.

  "That's it, Leah. Let go and feel what your man is doing to you," Nikolai says just as his thumb presses against my clit the same time a second finger slips inside me.

  "Fuck, you're so wet and tight."

  "Oh, God." I moan. I've never felt anything this good. Not even when I touch myself does it feel anything like Nikolai's.

  "That's it, Malyshka. Ride my hand. Take yourself there."

  At his command, I grind down on his hand. My core tightens, and my center flutters. "Nikolai," I cry when the pleasure becomes too much."

  "Let go, Leah."

  The second my name rolls off Nikolai's tongue, my vision fills with white flashes of light. And just as my orgasm crashes through me, Nikolai's lips are on mine.

  Minutes later, I am still coming down from my post-orgasmic high, when I barely register Nikolai standing from the sofa with me in his arms and climbing the stairs to his room where he lays me down on his bed. The last thing I remember before sleep takes me is having his scent surround me as the crisp, cool sheets touch my heated skin.

  The sound of a murmured voice wakes me from sleep. I open my eyes to see the bedroom cased in a warm glow from the floor lamp in the corner of the room. The space in the bed beside me is empty, and the sheet crumpled, letting me know I haven't been alone long. Sitting up, I find Nikolai standing at his floor to ceiling window with his back to me, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. I take the time to appraise his muscular thighs, tight butt, and well-defined back—a tattoo
of a massive black and grey dragon, which spans the width of his shoulders.

  I'm brought out of my musings when Nikolai's tone to whoever he is talking to on the phone, turns angry. He's speaking in Russian, but from the sound of things, he's not happy. A second later, he takes the phone away from his ear and turns away from the window toward me. His face is hard, but the second his gaze lands on me, his features soften, and he saunters toward the bed. Setting his phone down, he pulls back the sheet and climbs in. Next, he snags me around the waist and hauls me up. I lay my head on his chest. "Is everything okay?"

  "Nothing for you to worry about, Malyshka."

  The two of us fall quiet as Nikolai begins to run his fingers through my curls. After a few short seconds, he finally speaks. "Starting tomorrow, if you're not with me, I want Maxim taking you wherever you need to go."

  At his random statement, I disentangle myself from his hold and sit on my knees, facing him. Nikolai follows suit by leaning his back against the headboard.

  "Why? My apartment is close enough to everything in town, I can just walk to work every day, and I'm sure Alba or Sam will give me a ride to the store when needed. At least until my car is fixed or I can save to get a new one."

  "First, you won't be fucking walking to work. I plan on you sleeping in my bed every night or vise versa, so I'll be the one taking you to work. And two, there is no need to ask Alba or Sam for a ride because, as I said, if you're not with me, you'll be with Maxim. He is not to leave your side."

  An ugly feeling starts to creep up my spine at how adamant Nikolai is about Maxim. Something tells me there is more going on than I know. "Nikolai, why do I suddenly need a bodyguard?" my voice quivers.

  "Fuck." Nikolai runs his palm down his face.

  "Nikolai," I prompt.

  "I have a bad feeling about your accident. I'm cautious until I know for sure your father wasn't involved."

  At the mention of my dad, my body locks up, and my heart starts beating rapidly against my chest.

  Nikolai reaches for me. "Breathe, Leah."

  "Nikolai," I croak. "Is he…did he...?"

  "That son of a bitch won't get near you. I'll kill him if he tries."

  "How?"

  "I have one of my men watching him. I also visited him yesterday."

  Nikolai's admission shocks me. "You what!"

  "I did some digging into your father. I know the club has been keeping an eye on him, but I wanted to know more. I told my guy to find me everything he could on James Winters. Only digging up shit on James Winters uncovered other things."

  I don't miss the way Nikolai's jaw ticks when I ask, "What things?"

  "A broken jaw, a fractured wrist, a broken arm, three concussions, stitches."

  My nails dig into Nikolai's arm as he ticks off every documented injury I received at my father's hands as tears stream down my face.

  "Jesus, baby. What the hell does a seven-year-old girl do to warrant having her jaw broken? Not a Goddamn thing."

  "I saw something I wasn't supposed to. Then I opened my mouth about it."

  The grip Nikolai has on my hair tightens but not painfully, and his eyes flare. "Say again?"

  "Dad made sure I didn't open my mouth again." I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob. It's the first time I had spoken about what happened when I was seven. But with Nikolai, I feel safe enough to give him my demons, the things that eat me up inside, and haunt my dreams. And when Nikolai hauls me into his lap, I do just that. I tell him everything. I tell him about the night when I was seven and what I saw outside my bedroom window. The following morning, I learned my dad was not the hero I thought he was, and he has everyone believing he is a good guy. I told him how my father preached the word of God and, to this day, sits in the front row at church every Sunday, and how he raised me to talk, dress, and act in the way that best reflected his image. I told him how my father controlled every aspect of my life right down to the food I put in my mouth when I began to gain too much weight. And although I could feel how rigid Nikolai's body got with every truth that spilled from my mouth, I kept going. I kept going because I could feel the monster inside me, breaking free with every confession. Not once did Nikolai interrupt me, and by the time I was done, I felt like new, I felt as if the weight of the past twenty years had been lifted off my shoulders.

  A long stretch of silence passes between Nikolai and me. I know he's absorbing what I just laid out for him. I don't know how much time has gone by before he finally speaks.

  "Never again, Malyshka. Never again."

  No clarification is needed. Nikolai has made a vow, and I trust him.

  An hour later, the heaviness of mine and Nikolai's previous conversation has faded, and now the two of us are sitting in the middle of his bed, eating our previously abandoned diner. I'm still in my t-shirt and panties; my hair probably looks like a rat's nest; my eyes feel like sandpaper from crying, and no doubt, my face is red and splotchy for the same reason. So, when I catch Nikolai staring at me, I pause mid-chew and ask, "What?"

  "I'm just thinking about how beautiful you are and imagining what your pussy tastes like."

  Not expecting that response, I begin to choke on my food. Nikolai smirks and passes me a bottle of water. After taking a hefty swallow and getting my bearings back, I glare. "You can't say stuff like that."

  "You asked, babe."

  My cheeks heat. "Well, If I had known you were going to say something like that, I wouldn't have asked."

  Nikolai flashes me a smile. "You're gorgeous when you blush."

  I groan and cover my face. "I hate my blush. Seriously, what do you see in me? I mean, look at us. I'm awkward, shy, nerdy, and all you have to do is look at me, and my face turns red."

  "Malyshka." Nikolai grips my chin, keeping me from looking away "Those are all the things that make you, you. And I happened to like awkward, shy, and nerdy. I especially like your blush. You see those traits as flaws. I only see beauty."

  17

  Nikolai

  Lying in bed, I lose myself in the warmth of my woman's curves. Waking up with Leah's body draped across mine, securely in my arms is the best fucking feeling in the world.

  Last night was a significant tipping point in the start of a new beginning for both of us. I've never shared so much of myself with anyone. We talked for hours.

  A knock on the door stirs Leah from sleep. "Sir," Maxim speaks from the hall. "Your father has landed, and requested you meet him at The Kings' compound." Shifting, I look at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, noticing we've slept past 9 am, which is late for me.

  "You have to go?" Leah says sleepily.

  I sigh and pull her close. "Yes," I say, knowing we need to resolve the threat hanging over our heads, and my father may have answers. I kiss the top of Leah's head. "Go back to sleep if you wish." Reluctantly, I pull my arm from beneath her and roll out of bed.

  After throwing some clothes on, I stride across the room, as Leah climbs out of bed. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her to me. "You have free reign of the house. My home is yours. You'll notice more men hanging around than usual."

  "Is everything okay?" Leah asks.

  I brush the curls from her face. "They are here to protect you."

  "Can I have coffee on the deck out back?"

  "As long as Maxim is close by,' I tell her.

  Leah sighs. "Will it always be this way. Is this what your life is like all the time, never a moment to yourself?"

  "No, Malyshka. But, for now, things stay as they are." Not able to resist the urge any longer, I press my lips to hers. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

  "I'll be waiting." Those three words sink deep into my soul as I walk away.

  Arriving at the clubhouse, I walk through the door and look around the room, finding most of Jake's brothers hanging out, including my father. "What's bothering you, son?"

  "Nothing I can't take care of." I give a vague answer. He eyes me for a moment but says nothing more.

 
; "Well," Jake stands. "Let's get this shit show started, shall we?" Walking toward the other end of the room, he yells, "Church." I fall in behind my father and Logan.

  Once everyone has filled the room and taken their seats, including Victor, who is always at my father's side, Jake slams the gavel on the surface of the table. "Alright, listen up. As you all know, we had ourselves an incident that took place out at Charley's." Jake looks at me. "Neither one of those fuckers had any identification on them, so we put the word out trying to identify who they are. Unfortunately, none of our contacts or people in town knew anything about them, and believe me, in this town, people notice new faces hanging around. I contacted Lex and asked him for a favor. I sent him images of the guys from the security feed at Charley's. If he gets any hits on the FBI database, he'll email the results. These men threatened Demetri's woman. A threat none of us are taking lightly." Jake peers around the room. "With that said, I'm givin' the floor to our brother." Jake jerks his head toward my father.

  Leaning back in his seat, my father speaks. "As most of you already know, a threat was made against Glory, and those details were shared with you. Because of that, and now with what happened here in Polson, I have to assume, both threats are related, yet we have no leads."

  "Well, I sure as hell was hoping for more answers than what we have. Now, we've got a bunch of dead men and zero leads on who's fuckin' with my family," Logan quips.