“It’s still dumb,” Davis muttered.
“No one is arguing that,” I said. “But mom’s right. Getting that pissed off isn’t really going to do us any good. Did the school call yet?”
“They’ve said they’ve reviewed the security footage and are in the beginning stages of determining what punishment best suits the person.”
“Expulsion,” I said. “At least, according to the code of conduct.”
“Or a swift kick in the ass,” Davis added.
“You’re both probably right,” my mom said. “But, even when they decide what to do, I doubt that we’ll ever hear who did it and who got punished for it.”
“Which is again, bullshit,” Davis said.
“Davis, watch your language.”
I smiled a little. “It’s okay. Mom’s right. After we put the latest video up, they’re going to know that they didn’t really get to me, anyway.”
“That’s my boy,” she said with a smile. “Did you decide what you are wearing to Homecoming yet? Need me to swing you by the Midtown Crossing?”
I shrugged.
“Wait, does that mean you’re thinking about not going?” she asked.
“You have to go,” Davis said as he hopped up on a bar stool. “Not going would send the message that they won and you just told me that they didn’t.”
“That’s exactly what Rory and Tab said,” I replied. “But, I dunno. I mean, I don’t want to go just to prove a point. I don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable. I mean, I just want acceptance. I don’t want to force it on anyone.”
“Do you want to go?” my mom asked.
“I thought it might be kinda fun,” I replied. “But I also really don’t want to go alone.”
“Pretty sure that Rory and Tab wouldn’t let you go alone,” Davis said.
I nodded. “They already offered to be my dates.”
“And you told them no?”
I looked over at her with a confused look on my face. “Um, yeah I told them they should go find actual dates.”
“And you aren’t an actual date?” Davis asked. “I’m confused.”
“Okay, I told them they should go find some girls they’re romantically interested in and not worry about taking me out on a pity date.”
“That seems pretty harsh,” Davis said. “They were just trying to be nice.”
I sighed. “That’s the point. Look, it was a sweet gesture, but even if we did go together, it’s not like we’re going to dance together or anything.”
“Why not?” Davis asked.
“Yes, why not?” my mom said.
“Cause they don’t want to dance with me,” I answered.
“Seems you should probably stop trying to figure out what they want and listen to what they’re telling you. Rory and Tab are good guys. If they want to take you as their date, I wouldn’t consider a pity date at all.”
I flinched. “That’s not what it feels like.”
“Let them do something nice for you,” my mom said. “But just think about it, okay?”
“I will,” I said.
Even though I had no intention of actually taking them up on their offer.
“Do you know what song Rory is going to sing?” Davis asked.
“Are you even sure that Rory can sing?” my mom asked. “I never remember him singing before.”
“That’s what we keep saying,” I said. “But he insists that he can.”
“Either that or he’s going to make a total ass of himself,” Davis added.
“Yeah, well, that could happen, too, but he appears to be pretty confident.”
“Confidence is a thing,” Davis said. “But really, you don’t have any idea what he’s going to sing?”
“We think it might be some kind of power ballard,” I said. “But he won’t tell us.”
“How’s the election going?” my mom asked.
I winced. “It’s not going well.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Tab’s been trying to keep, well, tabs on what way everyone is going to vote, but after that whole locker incident, Rory and Tab aren’t exactly trending upwards.”
“That has got to be the lamest thing I’ve never heard,” Davis snapped. “They should be voting for him because he is the one that stood up for you.”
“I think the football players are secretly trying to figure out which one of them is gay.”
“Is there a gay football player?” Davis asked.
“Has to be,” I replied. “Given the sheer mathematical odds.”
My mom and Davis laughed.
“Regardless, I don’t think that Rory is going to win, and he seems okay with that now.”
“Is Tab okay with him not winning?” my mom asked. “You said he seemed totally into the whole thing a little while ago.”
“I think he’s realizing that there are more important things,” I said. “Either that, or we just wore him down.”
“I’m going with it being the second one,” Davis said.
“Well, tell him we’re looking forward to it.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Now go upstairs and shower,” my mom said. “We’re supposed to meet your father for dinner in forty five minutes and you stink.”
“Be down in a few,” I said, heading upstairs.
“And no touching yourself in there!” Davis shouted after me.
“Davis!” my mom snapped.
I smiled to myself as I jogged up the stairs. Maybe things were going to be okay after all.
CHAPTER 19
“Friendship… is not something you learn in school.
But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship,
you haven’t learned anything.”~ Muhammad Ali
“Are you sure we should let him go through with this?” Tab asked as we entered the auditorium.
“I’m pretty sure that it’s really not up to us,” I replied.
We found out that morning that Rory had indeed lost the election, although not by the landslide that we thought it would be. It was actually pretty close, but in the end, Hunter won out, despite the fact that he was a douchebag. Well, those were Tab’s words, not mine. Aside from that, the last few days were pretty uneventful. What happened to my locker seemed to be slowly fading into the background.
Rory and Tab didn’t let me go anywhere alone, and at lunch I was pretty much surrounded by the whole soccer team. Luke even asked when our next meet was. We had never seen anyone from school at the meets, aside from a few kids who had sisters on other teams. That didn’t mean the stares or whispering stopped, but I was starting to get pretty good at ignoring the looks and snide comments.
What threw me for an even bigger loop was the fact that he asked when the next dueling competition was and if they could come watch. No one had ever wanted to actually come watch before, unless you counted Rory. I was more than a little surprised and even a little floored when Luke asked for my phone number.
As we started to make our way down the aisle, I glanced to the left and saw Hunter and most of the football players huddled near the cheerleaders. He looked at me and smirked, prompting me to change direction and head right for him. I barely registered Tab snapping something at me and marched right towards Hunter.
I know what you’re all thinking, that I was going to punch him right in the face. As good as that would feel, I knew that would only get me kicked out of school and that was not something I intended to happen. However, that didn’t stop me from striding toward him with Tab hot on my heels.
“What are you doing?” Tab hissed as he caught up to me. “Dude, not a good place to make a scene.”
“Not going to.”
“What the hell do you want?” Hunter snapped as soon as I was within a foot or so. He also took a step back. “I told you that I had nothing to do with the locker thing.”
“I don’t care,” I said. I was surprised at how steady my voice was. “I’m telling you that I’m done taking your
shit. We both know deep down that you thought about doing something like that.”
I took a small step toward him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It was a cowardly thing to do and that’s exactly what you are, Hunter, a coward. I’m not going to let you push me or anyone else around anymore. This. Is. Your. Last. Warning. We clear?”
“Um, yeah. Totally clear.”
I took great pleasure in hearing a little bit of a tremble in his voice. I turned and walked back to the other side of the auditorium, Tab right next to me. I looked over at him and saw him grinning from ear to ear. I shook my head and resisted the urge to smile like a total idiot. Saying that to him felt good, probably not as good as punching him out, but good nonetheless. Cole, Giovanni, and Scarlett were already waving us toward a group of seats on the other side.
“What?” I asked as we approached our seats.
“That was pretty fucking amazing, and if no guy throws himself at you after hearing you talk like that, then they’ve lost their minds.”
I blushed. “Um, thanks.”
“Wait, why is he blushing?” Cole asked.
“Because he just freaked Hunter the fuck out,” Tab replied. “I’m pretty sure that may have made me chub up a little.”
“Oh God, please stop it,” I begged.
Tab just grinned.
“Oh, confident Henry. See, I told you it was sexy.”
Again, I shook my head.
“Very nice eyes, by the way,” Tab said, looking at Giovanni as we took our seats. “I mean it, man, those are cool as hell.”
“Um, thanks,” Giovanni replied. “Still getting used to the looks I’m getting without the contacts.”
“Fuck’em,” Tab said.
“Yeah,” Giovanni said. “I get that a lot these days.”
“Does anyone have any idea what he’s going to be singing?” I asked.
“Maybe he’ll sing it shirtless,” Scarlett suggested.
“Huh. That might have helped us in the polls,” Tab said.
“Is he still sorry he lost?” Cole asked.
“He doesn’t seem to be,” I said. “Actually, he seems pretty okay with it. I think it has more to do with the fact that he wants to start GSA here. He even took home a bunch of paperwork from the office.”
“GSA?” Giovanni asked.
“Gay Straight Alliance,” Tab replied. “And yeah, we’re both pretty serious about it. Never another Noah, not here.”
“We need one of those at my school,” Cole said as the lights came down low.
The theater teacher, Mr. Winslow, came out and said a few words of thanks and then they went right into the acts. We were treated to a rather amusing standup routine by two freshmen. And then some really weird interpretive dance by some juniors. I was pretty sure that everyone was just as confused as I was. After almost forty five minutes, Rory appeared on stage.
He didn’t look the least bit nervous. I would have been a freaking mess. He gave a short bow and took the mic from Mr. Winslow. I could see Luke behind him with a guitar.
“Um, so I haven’t ever really sung in front of anyone before,” Rory said, addressing the audience. “Well, unless you count my cat in the shower.”
That got a round of laughter.
“But, anyway, my best friend recently inspired me to share my weird with the world. Although I wouldn’t say singing is all that weird, it was something that I never let anyone else see me do, until now. Henry, this one’s for you.”
I blushed and sank lower in my seat. Tab glanced my way and gave me a huge grin. It suddenly dawned on me that he probably knew exactly what song Rory was going to sing.
Luke started playing his guitar, a soft melody that I vaguely recognized. Seconds later, Rory started to sing. And man, could he sing. He sounded like a professional, perfectly in tune with the music and so full of emotion. It took me a few seconds to realize the words and what song he was singing.
True Colors. I loved that song, I loved it even more when I understood the meaning and now, hearing my best friend belt it out on stage, I was pretty sure that it was my favorite song. Rory poured emotion into the song and I could see tears glistening in his eyes. I couldn’t say anything because I was constantly wiping tears away from my own eyes. We he finally finished, the whole audience stood up and gave him a standing ovation.
“You knew,” I whispered to Tab as we took our seats again.
“Yeah, I knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“Because Rory wanted it to be a surprise.”
God, I really loved these guys.
The show was pretty lackluster after that. No one who sang came close to Rory’s performance, though a few tried. In the end, Rory took home second place, which made all of us happy as hell. I honestly couldn’t understand how he lost to the freshmen, but he didn’t seem to care.
“You could have warned me,” I said outside the auditorium.
Rory shrugged. “I could have, but where would the fun be in that?”
“So, you guys ready?” Tab asked.
“Got big plans?” Cole asked.
“Just a bonfire,” Rory replied.
“Have fun,” Cole said. “We’re going to go watch Giovanni attempt to meet a blind date.”
“Lucky girl,” I said. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Giovanni muttered.
“And good job, Rory. Seriously, that was some powerful stuff. I think you gave everyone a lot to think about.”
“Nah, he did that,” Rory said, gesturing to me. “I just encouraged everyone else to do the same. You know, be yourself and all that.”
“See you guys later,” Cole said. “And awesome job, man.”
“Come on,” Tab said, grabbing our arms and dragging us to the doors. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
I stared into the flickering flames of the bonfire for a long time, trying to figure out just how honest I was supposed to be with my friends. After everything that had happened this week, well, I wasn’t sure what the answer was. Having to deal with the vandalism at school, the fact that the other parents wanted me kicked off the team, it was a lot. I had told Davis and my friends I would never hurt myself, but there was that brief moment in my bathroom where I almost broke that promise.
And it terrified me down to my core. Now I could see how Noah got to the place where he thought that was his only way out. I could understand the feelings of isolation, of loneliness, and the feeling of being broken. The sheer hopelessness that I felt for only a moment was the stuff of nightmares. I couldn’t imagine thinking that I would have to face all this all alone.
Should I tell Rory and Tab? Our friendship had endured a lot lately; first with me coming out, then the fall out with the rest of the team at school, and finally, the fact that Shawna refused to date Rory on the grounds that he was friends with me. I still hadn’t told Rory that I had been present for that entire conversation.
“We’re always supposed to be honest, right?”
Rory looked up from where he was grabbing s'mores supplies. “Yeah, that’s what friends do. What’s up?”
“Wait, are you going to tell us which one of us you’d do?” Tab asked, taking a seat on the bench next to me. “Because I think we both know that it should be me.”
“Wait, why should it be you?” Rory asked.
“Why are we talking about this again?” I moaned. “I don’t want to do either of you.”
“Silence,” Tab said. “Because I’m the better lover.”
“You’re still a virgin!” Rory snapped.
“So are you!”
“Guys!” I yelled, getting to my feet. “Calm your asses down. It has nothing to do with which one of you I would do. I just, I need to tell you something, and I don’t want either of you to freak out.”
I took a few more deep breaths before taking my seat. Rory arched an eyebrow, but came and sat down on the other side of me.
“Alright, spill it.”
“Y
ou asked me when I first came out if I ever felt like hurting myself,” I said softly.
“No,” Rory said.
The force behind Rory’s words took me back. I looked over and saw tears in his eyes.
“You don’t get to do that. You never get to do that.”
“Rory, I’m fine. It's just that with everything that happened this week, I got real down for a moment.”
“I don’t care how down you got,” Tab said. His voice was thick with emotion. “Rory’s right, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make the decision.”
I sighed and hung my head, feeling hot tears sting my eyes.
“I know, I fucking know that now, okay? But Rory, I heard why Shawna wouldn’t go out with you. I know that she said it was because of me. I know that being friends with me ruined your one shot with her. It broke my heart to hear that.”
“Fuck her,” Rory snapped.
“Actually you can’t fuck her, that’s the problem.” Tab added, rather unhelpfully.
“Shut up,” Rory hissed.
Rory gently pushed my head up so we were looking directly at each other. He reached over and wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. I had never seen him do something so intimate before. I don’t mean that in a sexual sense at all. I just mean that it was an act that was so utterly loving and tender and one that I had never witnessed before. I once again felt like I really didn’t deserve these guys.
“I’m sorry that you had to hear that.”
“But you liked her so much,” I said. “I mean, you liked her the whole summer.”
“But I’m not gonna trade her for you. Never in a million years,” Rory said. “Besides, I’ve liked you longer than I liked her.”
“What if the love of your guys’ lives comes along and makes you choose,” I said.
I was having a harder time controlling my emotions now and could feel a full on ugly cry threatening to break through to the surface. Before I totally lost it, I felt Tab wrap his arms around me.
“Stop it, Henry,” Tab said softly. “Any girl that we date is going to love you. She’s not going to have a choice. You’re a part of my life, Henry, and you always will be. I love you, man.”
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