Lillith

by Carol Buhler

  Numbly, I allowed him to mount. On the way home, I said nothing. Again, I couldn’t think what to do. He’d spent his life preparing for the role and I’d been there with him all the way.

  I can’t let it end like this!

  Chapter 9—Fifteen Years Later

  ~ Lillith

  An early fall fog drifted up the canyon wall, soft, gray, producing eerie dimness and dampening normal pre-dawn sounds. The sun should be rising shortly, to burn the mist away, I thought, although this dismal clamminess suits my mood. I stood on the ledge leading into our huge cavern home, knees locked, staring south at the dark shadows of the jagged peaks that loomed between Eyrie and Center.

  Shaking my head in an effort to banish my depression caused strands of fog-dampened forelock to slap across my eyes. I rubbed them away on my hip, then flicked my ears back to focus on the sounds in the rooms behind me: my oldest daughter scolding her young son for leaving a mess in the middle of the hall; the herd of colts and fillies shrieking in the arena during early morning exercise; the don banging pots and utensils, preparing the first meal of the day. Normally, I tuned out such noises but this morning, I craved the warmth of family.

  Out of the gloom, a figure appeared, soaring rapidly toward the ledge. My eldest son landed and brushed past shedding droplets of water, then turned back to touch me gently on my shoulder.

  "Mother! What are you doing out here on this miserable morning?" he asked.

  "Feeling melancholy," I admitted, curling my neck to touch noses with him. "It's the fifteenth anniversary of their death."

  My chunky charcoal-gray son, looking so much like his father had in his younger years, shook his body splattering water everywhere, then arched his neck and focused a large brown eye shading orange on me. "I didn’t realize. Going to be a rough day for us all, then." He spun and disappeared into the vast cavern behind us. Gazing after him, I sighed. He doesn't have his father's sweet temperament. His abruptness must come from me.

  Facing once more into the mist, I reached into my memories and brought forth the glory of my eightieth birthday and the meld with Joedon. I’d been so afraid, all for naught. I chuckled and pulled memories up as if proudly relating them to a newly-made friend. "Young Joldon was a darling child, fun to tend, quick to learn. And he grew into a splendid don, taller than his father, stronger and more skilled." Allowing my mind to wander, I pictured him at every crossroad of his younger years. It didn’t help me feel better.

  Minutes later, not having accomplished a thing with my reminiscing, I sighed and made my way back into the home we'd built. We’d only lived here for a year before Joedon’s parents died fifteen years ago and our promising future came to an end in grief. Such a waste!

  **

  When Joedon didn’t join us for breakfast, I probed gently into his mind. Asleep at his lab table, again! He’s going to drive himself mad, concentrating so vehemently on his experiments. Well aware that he used his studies to isolate himself, I fretted over how to pull him out of his ever increasing withdrawal.

  Standing just outside the door to his suite, I was debating about waking him when I received an odd message from Memm. Cocking my head, I wondered at the bubbling excitement that certainly didn’t fit my image of the young bay. A prankster he is, but never giddy.

  As I tried to picture the heavily muscled young reeth prancing around in joy, I passed his message on. "Joedon, wake up. Memm’s telling me he and Raedon are on the way with a splendid surprise."

  He jerked himself awake. I must have projected my mental picture of Memm into his head along with the message as he immediately started chuckling. "No, Lillith. You can’t seriously think Memm could be that silly."

  "No, of course not." I echoed his chuckle with a like snigger. "It’s just that he sounded so different." Before he could come up with a reason to make himself unavailable, I hurried on. "You haven’t seen Raedon for two months!" lacing in a hint of accusation.

  He sighed; I pictured him slumping on his stool as he gave in. "You’re right." His negative thoughts shifted to anticipation as he admitted, "I’ve missed him."

  "Get yourself cleaned up and join me in the eating room. I’ll see what’s left over from breakfast and make sure we have plenty to feed them. Memm said they’d be here within the hour."

  When he finally strolled into the dining room, I studied my mind-mate critically. His long, thin face seemed pasty with puffy eyes underscored by dark circles. His heavy fair hair was swept back damply in an effort to contain it, not entirely successfully, in a knot at the back. Normally, he wore it cropped short. I hadn’t realized how much it had grown in his most recent neglect. Dressed casually in loose shirt and trousers, he appeared faintly seedy as he walked up to me, placed his forehead on mine, and stitched slender fingers into my mane. My heart melted.

  "Come, Joedon." I curled my neck around his slim body and nudged him toward the bowl of rice awaiting him, warm and swimming with milk and honey just as he liked it. "You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten."

  Fifteen minutes later, I caught the message that our guests were close; Joedon and I went out to the ledge to meet them. The mist had disappeared and the sun glinted brightly over the canyon, highlighting the incoming reeth. Two of them! Memmyon, larger than his companion, glistened, his blood red body glowing like a hot coal while his mane and tail streamed behind, black as smoke. His companion, also bay but less brilliant, was smaller, feminine in build, and also carried a rider. I refrained from probing for identities from the incoming minds to avoid spoiling their surprise.

  Memm landed first and his rider, Raedon, swung smoothly down. Their surprise evidently was Joedon’s cousin, Saradon, lightly dismounting from the second reeth. What is the filly’s name? I frantically searched my memory for Saradon's mind-mate. Sissith—that’s it!

  ~Joedon

  Delight surged through me as I strode past Lillith toward Sara, hands outstretched. I hadn't seen her for a couple of years. Unlike me, she sparkled with life. Grasping her hands, I pulled her into a tight embrace.

  "Well, I like that," said the dark-haired don that accompanied her. Raedon stood staring at us, hands on his hips and a typical glower on his face. "Not even a hello for me!"

  Laughing, I released Sara and turned to grasp Raedon’s hand and clap him on the shoulder. "Leave off," I said. "I’ve seen you in the last two months. I haven’t seen Sara in forever! Lillith said you were bringing a surprise. This is a great one."

  Raedon arched a brow. "I have more surprises for you, my friend. But let’s go in and make ourselves comfortable." He turned to Lillith and stroked the side of her neck in greeting. "You have room for us, I know."

  "Of course. Welcome." She projected her mental voice to all, a talent which had surprised her, developing as it had after our mind-meld. She was the only reeth who could communicate with more than one don at a time. "Follow me," she said, and we all did.

  I seated Sara at the large wooden dining table and started to sit next to her. Harrumphing, Raedon nudged me out of the way and waved to the place across. With a smirk, I conceded and moved around the table. Nanadon, Lillith's charge-de-house, brought a tray with mugs of hot Lareina wine and her special sweet cakes while Lillith led Memm and Sissith to the nearby wall where they happily buried their noses in large baskets of freshly cut grass. Her back was turned but I was well aware that she was keeping an ear trained toward the table, determined to stay out of the conversation but not miss a word.

  Ignoring her, I demanded, "So what’s the rest of your surprise?"

  Raedon flushed pink, not something I'd ever seen him do. Fascinated, I watched color rising slowly from his neck to his high forehead. He glanced at Sara as if for courage, swallowed, then spoke hesitantly as if not quite as confident of his surprise as he'd indicated earlier. "We wanted you to know before anyone else." His unease grew and Lillith shot me a command to stop drumming my fingers. "You're making him nervous," she whispered into my head. Me? How could that be? I stilled my hands
.

  Raedon blurted, "Saradon has agreed to marry me." Grasping her hand, his words became formal. "We came to ask the blessing of our Supreme Don."

  I gaped, speechless. My first thought: I'm not the Supreme Don. But this was my best friend—the two most loved persons in my life were staring at me with earnest belief that my blessing meant something. It doesn't!

  "It does!" Lillith hissed into my head. "Don't be ugly."

  Burying my chagrin, I grinned. "That’s wonderful!" Both them started breathing again. "You’ve taken me off the hook!"

  Sara reached across the table and touched my hand, smiling mischievously. "I know you don’t want to marry me, and I certainly don’t want to marry you, but you don’t have to be quite so relieved."

  Throwing my head back, I shouted with glee. "I’m going to love watching you tell the Council!" After a few moments of shared laughter, I regained control over my rioting feelings. I reached forward to take a hand from each and said, "You know they’re not going to let you get away with this without a fight. They’ll plead, and reason, and cajole. They’ve had it in their heads since you were born that you would marry me and reunite the two royal lines."

  Sara squeezed my hand. "Doesn’t matter. Nothing they could do will make me change my mind." Her face twisted with a rueful smile. "You know we would've hated each other eventually and I don’t intend to live my life in misery because of their stupid old-fashioned notion." Turning fondly to Raedon, she continued. "We’ll have a fun and exciting marriage, I just know it."

  Thinking of the battle to come, I stiffened and focused on Raedon. "You’ll have to learn to control your temper."

  He nodded. "I know. Memm’s going to help. And between the four of us, I’m sure we’ll manage to survive anything those old freaks on the council throw at us."

  Enlightenment dawned. "Oh!" I swung around and leered at the big bay whose face was buried in a tub of grass up to the star on his forehead. "I guess you have the same notion—marrying Sara’s mind-mate, you big lug!"

  Memm picked his head up; his eyes twinkled blue. "Foal yes. Sissith’s the best thing that ever happened to me." He swung his head around to run his forehead down the velvet neck of his love, who had been sharing the basket of grass with him. She ducked her head in shyness, but didn’t push away from the caress. What a good plan!

  I sat back in my chair and studied the two couples, one don, one reeth. "This just might work."

  ~Lillith

  Joedon continued to quiz the happy pair about their plans and offered several tips on how to handle the Speaker's Council, sure to be adamantly against the proposed alliance. Contented with the intense interest he was showing, I let my mind wander to things happening around me in our home. Then, something he said brought me back to the conversation.

  "When you have a child, he can take over being Supreme Don. Relieve me of that responsibility." He sounds serious! Quickly, I checked the thinking of the other two; they didn't shrink from the suggestion.

  "No!" I wailed to myself, blocking my reaction from my mind-mate. "That's not what I want!" A sudden movement caught my eye as Lillyon hurried out of the arena toward me.

  "What is it?" he asked, searching for a source of my outcry, his eyes whirling an alarmed red.

  I ducked my head and flattened my ears in embarrassment as everyone looked at me. "I didn’t mean to startle you all," I said, forcing my mind and voice into a calm I didn’t feel. "I thought I heard something. But evidently, it’s nothing."

  My concerned husband bent a stern eye on me but I kept my mind empty and gradually, he stopped worrying and went back to his training exercises with the colts.

  When Joedon yawned for the fourth time, Raedon smirked before announcing it was time for him and Sara to return to Center. "Have to meet with her mother and father at two." He didn’t appear nervous, except he’d clenched both fists.

  Sara grinned and took one hand, relaxing him. "They’ll be happy with my decision." She beamed at Joedon and me. "They’ve always liked Raedon. And they’ll be happy I’m going to be settled so well." She lifted an eyebrow at Joedon. "You do realize only you and Raedon have fairly new homes outside of Center? Everyone else that lives away is old and has ancient homes. Mine will be brand new!"

  "So that’s why you said yes." Raedon's attempt at a scowl slipped into a beam he couldn't suppress.

  "Of course, dear." Sara stroked his cheek, then reached a hand out to Memm. "And besides, if I married Joedon, who would Sissith marry?"

  We laughed, although it was true. Anyone who marries Joedon will have to deal with me and all my family. I scrutinized the blissful pair. They’ll be much happier with Sissith and Memmyon by their sides.

  When they had gone, Joedon announced, "Going to go take a nap." As he strode down the broad stone hall to his quarters I followed him with my eyes. His mind was tired, but contented. And he’d totally forgotten about the day’s anniversary.

  Grateful, I sent out a thought directly to Raedon. "Thank you for coming and bringing Sara." Joedon hadn't been so animated for months.

  I had a hard time falling asleep that night as I mulled over the conversations of the day. I pictured Joedon as he’d appeared in the morning with his lackluster eyes and listless movements. He’s worked at becoming disassociated from other don. The pair's visit had livened him up; when they'd left, he'd been tired but seemed happier than he’d been for weeks.

  Is he afraid of leading the don?

  It’s what he was born for. It’s what he was trained for.

  Is he really willing to turn it all over to a baby that hasn’t been born yet?

  It was hard to admit, but he’d become distant from me as well. I never used to hide my thoughts from him.

  Does he hide his thoughts from me?

  My mind went round and round until I finally dozed, fitful and troubled by dreams of our world imploding. No matter how I twisted and struggled, each episode ended with a child, wearing diapers and bib, crawling on the council chamber stone floor, being beaten by old cranky don with canes.

  The next morning, the dreams seemed too silly to share but also seemed to foretell the future. I have to do something to banish that nightmare.

  Chapter 10

  ~Lillith

  To my surprise, two days later Tallyon arrived on the ledge unannounced depositing his mind-mate Taldon at our doorstep. I knew the bright chestnut well but knew little about the don standing next to him. He was older than Joedon’s father had been, with gray peppering his dark hair and bushy eyebrows slashing over keen, brown eyes. He’d served as the elected chairman of the Speaker's Council for the last fifteen years, since Joedon had refused to take his rightful position. I respected his courage and skill in leading the willful don without holding the birthright.

  "Taldon. It’s a pleasure to meet you." I extended my neck for his greeting stroke. "I’ve heard much of you from Tallyon."

  After sliding his hand firmly down my neck, he transferred it to the chestnut shoulder at his side. "Thank you, Lillith. I’m very pleased to meet you, too." He peered past me into the cavern. "Is Joedon available?"

  "I’ll call him. Would you like something to drink while you’re waiting?"

  "No, thank you." He glanced around as if nervous. "Truthfully, we've come to beg your help. While I try to explain the situation to Joedon, Tallyon will fill you in."

  I trained a surprised, concerned eye on him, then transferred my gaze to the chestnut. He bobbed his head. "Patience," Tallyon said softly. A few minutes later, Joedon appeared, looking better than he had the day before, and escorted Taldon into his part of the cavern. I led Tallyon to the arena where the youngsters were playing a rousing game of kick-ball; we walked across the sand, dodging the racing reeth and the big heavy ball, to join Lillyon who was supervising the play.

  "Tallyon, great to see you again." Lillyon stepped away from the frantic action around him. "How are you? What brings you to Eyrie?" Tallyon and Lillyon traded deep nods of friendship.


  "Doing well, myself, thank you," Tallyon said. "My mind-mate, however, is worried. That’s why we’re here today." His eyes roiled red with agitation as he turned to include me. "We need your help."

  "Of course. Give me a minute." Lillyon sent word to the youngsters, giving them the rest of the morning off. Then, we escorted our guest to a private salon deep within the cavern where the dense stone would help shield our mental conversation from outsiders.

  "The council is running around in circles." Tallyon stood facing us, hunched, his back to the wall, his expressive eyes depressed and worried. "I know you haven’t been to Center lately, and probably haven’t heard the complaints, but the city is literally falling apart." He began to project a scene from a flyover he said he and his don-mate had made in preparation for this meeting. I felt as if I flew slowly alongside him over a vibrant green and white quilt, stitched together with broad leafed trees, that some giant had spread over the bluff to dry in the sun. A scene I'd often seen: white granite homes and lighter green gardens gleamed in their patchwork. The ancient stone city had been the government hub of our two civilizations for more than a thousand years.

  The view banked lazily over the edge of the bluff; land dropped steeply away to reveal the high mountain bowl of Center valley. Ten miles long and two miles at the widest, the bowl provided lush grass and sheltering trees to reeth families attached to Center don. He purposely shifted his head and I glimpsed the huge Lill family complex where Lillyon and I had been raised, ranging from the mouth of the river, along the east side of the lake, and all the way to the fifty-foot cliffs on the north edge of the bowl.

  Tallyon broke the projection with a caustic comment. "That’s what everyone sees as they fly over. But here's the reality when you look closely." He changed his projection, this time zeroing in on a specific estate: walls crumbling, roof fallen in. "The Pam mansion," he said gloomily. "The girls abandoned it shortly after their father died over a hundred years ago." Another mansion appeared, its center caved in leaving only the reeth side halls intact. "The Abo place, empty for at least sixty years." Another, with walls smothered by vines, roof shattered. "The Ams place. Taldon says the last member of that family is over one-hundred and sixty. I don’t know her myself." And another. "Oba—“