“James has never been so cold and ugly to me. Not even in the beginning.”
Fear flickered in her eyes. “Jed won’t let him hurt you. Joe won’t either.”
“I’m not scared he’ll hurt me physically,” I said through my tears. “He acted like he hated me. That I was nothing to him, and the baby was less than nothing.” I started to sob harder, and she reached over and pulled me into an awkward hug over the center console.
When I settled down, she leaned back and gave me a watery smile. “Then Skeeter Malcolm is a fool to let the best thing that ever came into his life slip away.”
“It’s not that easy, Neely Kate. It’s a whole big mess.”
“I know, honey,” she said, reaching up to wipe the tears from my face with her thumb. “But you knew from the beginning you and Skeeter were never meant to be.” There was no attitude in her statement, only sympathy and love.
She was right, yet that didn’t ease any of the pain.
“Jed and I will help you in every way we can,” she continued, “and he told me about you askin’ us to watch your baby if you go to prison.” Her words choked off as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. “First of all, you never, ever have to worry about your baby. We will always be there for him or her.” She took a breath, then said softly, as though worried she’d be overheard even though we were in the car with the windows rolled up, “But Jed and I will never let that happen. Your baby needs you, and no matter what, we’ll find a way to make sure you don’t get stuck in jail.”
Something in her statement made my chest squeeze. “What are you talkin’ about?”
“Jed and I talked over lunch. He has connections. I know you want to avoid leaving Henryetta, but we’ll sneak you away if need be. He’ll give you and your baby new identities.”
“Go on the run?” I asked in shock.
“Hopefully, it will never come to that,” she said. “And that’s borrowed trouble for another day, but for now I need you to know I won’t let my jealousy ruin this for you. I want to be part of this all the way, Rose. I want to share your pregnancy with you.” She gave me a warm smile. “But I know some things are private, so to help you with that, I got you a gift.”
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “My first baby present?”
“No,” she said, reaching under her seat and pulling out a rectangular gift box with a white bow. “It’s for you. Open it now.”
I took the gift, surprised at its heft. The wrapping paper was white to match the ribbon and bow, and she’d obviously spent so much time making it look pretty that I hated to rip into it. But I was eager to see what she’d gotten me, so I carefully tore the paper and slid off the ribbon, surprised to see a hardbound dark blue book.
“It’s a journal,” she said softly, and I lifted my gaze to hers. “Dora lived at your farm and journaled while she was pregnant with you. I thought it might help you feel closer to her as well as the baby.”
A lump filled my throat as my eyes burned. How had I not connected the dots between my birth mother’s experience and my own? Both single mothers, having a baby with a man we couldn’t be with. Both living on the farm.
“Neely Kate…” I choked out. “This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.”
She swiped at a tear on her cheek. “Now don’t go thinkin’ you need to keep everything to yourself in that journal. I want to be very much a part of all of this.” Her voice softened. “But I also know that no matter how much you love me, some things are just between you and your baby. Keep those moments in there, and maybe someday your baby will read them too.” Then she quickly added, “But not because you’re dead.”
I hugged the journal to my chest. I was sure I’d fill this book with all kinds of doubts and fears about James, just like Dora had written about my father. But just because Daddy had eventually left Momma to be with Dora didn’t mean I’d have a happy ending with James. Besides, Dora’s happiness hadn’t lasted very long. J.R. Simmons had had my birth mother killed while I was just an infant. If I stayed in James’s world, I could end up suffering a similar fate. That was definitely a topic for my new journal.
“Thank you, Neely Kate. I love it and I love you. I’m so relieved you don’t hate me.”
“Hate you?” she scoffed. “That’s plain crazy talk. I love you, Rose Gardner, and you have no idea how disappointed I am in myself for ruining your happy news.”
“Happy news?” I choked out.
Her eyes shone as her gaze penetrated mine. “You’re havin’ a baby, and I can’t think of anyone who will be a better mother than you. This is happy news. We need to celebrate it.”
I smiled. No more sorrow over this sweet baby.
Violet was right. Only joy.
CHAPTER 25
We headed to the farm after we picked up the kids, and Violet seemed to get a second wind. They set up Candy Land on the coffee table and Neely Kate joined us for several rounds, all of us helping Mikey count out his spaces. Joe came home around dinnertime, and the kids nearly tackled him with their hugs around his legs, begging him to play with us.
Violet beamed and I did too—I hadn’t seen her looking so content and healthy in weeks.
Jed and Witt showed up shortly thereafter, and Witt headed straight into the kitchen to pester Carly.
Neely Kate rolled her eyes and got up to go intervene.
“I should go set the dining room table,” I said. The kids were crawling all over Joe, who’d just sat in a chair in the living room.
“Can we eat in the kitchen?” Violet asked with a hopeful look. “It’s so much more homey in there. So much more you.”
Her request caught me by surprise, especially since she knew we’d all have to cram around the table.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked her. She still seemed to have more energy than usual, although I wasn’t sure how long it would last. “Do you need to get up and go to the bathroom?”
“I’m good,” she said with a contented smile. “Go set the table so we can eat. Whatever Carly’s makin’ for dinner smells good.”
Maybe that meant she’d have a better appetite.
When I went into the kitchen, Witt was trying to help Carly cook, but she waved him off with a wooden spoon.
“I know what you’re up to, and I’m not goin’ out with you.”
“Come on, Carly,” Witt said, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter as she mashed a pot of potatoes with a hand masher. “It’s just one date.”
Leaving her hand on the masher in the pot, she put her other hand on her hip. “I’ve told you fifty million times I’m not ready to date.” Her mouth twisted into a grin. “And besides, you’re Neely Kate’s cousin. How awkward will it be when I break your heart and we still have to deal with each other?”
“Very funny,” Witt said sarcastically.
“No means no, Witt,” Neely Kate said in a stern tone. “If you don’t stop harassing her, Rose is going to stop letting you come to dinner.”
I shot him a dark look, but he gave me his megawatt smile.
I didn’t want to address Witt’s antics right now. I suspected it was a game to him and he had no expectations that she’d concede, but I needed to find out if she was tired of it. The moment she felt uncomfortable I’d be sure to put an end to it.
Neely Kate and Carly carried food to the table as I finished setting out the plates and silverware. Jed and Witt carried in two extra chairs to accommodate all of us. Joe had insisted Mikey could sit on his knee to give us extra room, since we all knew Mikey would end up on someone’s lap eventually anyway.
Dinner was loud and boisterous with lots of laughter. Everyone avoided the topics of the grand jury and my pregnancy and my sister’s illness, and the kids added to our entertainment. I snuck a glance at Violet, relieved to see her looking relaxed and happy, and thrilled that she’d eaten her portion of mashed potatoes, a bit of her meatloaf, and even some green beans.
I couldn’t help hoping that she might be getti
ng better. Maybe all the love and good energy surrounding her had helped fight off some of the cancer in her body and we’d have her with us awhile longer.
After Mikey finished his dinner, he asked to sit on Violet’s lap.
“Of course, baby,” she said, holding out her arms. Joe helped set him on her lap, and I noticed he and I were both watching closely. Violet had lost so much weight, I was worried Mikey might hurt her if he got too rambunctious, and from the close eye Joe kept on them too, he must have been concerned about the same thing.
Witt was knee-deep in a story about some hunting expedition for opossums he’d ledwith his and Neely Kate’s cousins, and we were totally entertained. I cast another glance at Mikey, who was now facing Violet, playing with her necklace. Violet was lightly stroking his back, only half listening to the story. Then, out of nowhere, Mikey sneezed in her face.
Everyone instantly stopped all conversation and stared at Violet in horror. Violet’s immune system was compromised, and a secondary infection was our biggest fear.
Carly jumped out of her chair and ran into the living room. “I’ll get the baby wipes.”
Joe reached for Mikey and tried to lift him off her lap, but the sudden movement and the tension in the room scared him. He started to cry, wrapping his arms around Violet’s neck and burying his face into her neck.
Violet lifted her gaze up to Joe, shaking her head. “Leave him.”
“But Violet,” I protested, my heart rate increasing. “He sneezed. In your face.”
She gave me a pleading smile. “He wants his mother, Rose.”
“But Vi,” I insisted, my fear spiking. “He might get you sick.”
“It was a sneeze, Rose,” Violet said, her voice barely audible above Mikey’s sobs.
“But it might be a cold.”
Violet held Mikey closer. “The damage is already done. He stays.”
I watched her in horror. If he got her sick, it might be a death sentence. As weak as she was, it probably would be.
The knowing look in her eyes told me she understood.
Mikey buried himself into her as she rubbed his back, whispering soothing sounds into his ear.
Carly came running back into the room with the wipes and stopped in the doorway, realizing everyone was frozen—all of us watching Violet comfort her son.
Violet looked up at Joe and said with a firm voice, “Can someone bring the rocking chair in my room down? I’d like to rock my baby.”
I started to protest that she should hand Mikey off to someone else. We needed to wash her face and sequester her in her room and pray she didn’t get sick. I wanted to beg her to think this through.
But then I saw the love and adoration on her face and held my tongue.
Violet had stopped treatment because she didn’t want to waste any more time with her children than she already had. She’d spent months in Texas, hoping for a cure so she could spend decades more with them, but God had other plans. The bone marrow I’d donated to her hadn’t helped, and she was back to square one. Instead of enduring more months away from her children for a cure that might not come, she had ended all treatment and came home to die surrounded by the people she loved. But the months away had disrupted her relationship with her children, and while Ashley had been quick to come around, Mikey had been much slower. Her little boy had begun to pull away, and the separation had been keener these last weeks, with the kids staying more and more at Mike’s. But now he clung to her, sobbing into her chest as though he knew he didn’t have her for much longer and was already mourning the loss.
“I’ll go,” Jed said in a gruff voice as he got to his feet. “I’ll bring it down.”
Ashley sat by me, her gaze locked on her mother and brother, but she turned back to look at me and whispered, “Is Mommy going to get sick again?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly as I started to rub her back. But as I watched Violet comfort her son, I heard him release a tiny cough. In my heart I knew she’d catch another cold. And this time it would likely kill her.
Neely Kate, Witt, and Joe stayed in their respective places, looking like they were staring danger in the eye and unsure how to react. Finally, Neely Kate said as she stood, “Come on, Muffy. Let’s go outside.”
Muffy was lying in her dog bed in the corner, but she jumped up and ran to the back door.
“Want to come, Ash?” Neely Kate asked.
She looked up at me with wide, frightened eyes, as though seeking permission.
I nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Keep an eye on Muffy for me.”
“Okay, Aunt Rose.” She slid out of her chair and ran for the back door, as though she was racing Muffy to see who could get out first.
Neely Kate stood in the open doorway, watching Violet with horror-filled eyes, then she hurried out the door after them.
Witt scooted back his chair. “I’m gonna go out there and watch over ’em,” he mumbled as he rushed out after the others.
I got to my feet, my thoughts racing. What could I do? I started to head for the living room to make room for the rocking chair, but the sound of furniture scraping along the floor in the living room told me Carly was already on it.
“Calm down, Rose,” Violet said softly, clutching her son to her chest. “We all knew this was comin’.”
“It might be allergies,” Joe said as he eased onto his chair next to her. “No sense borrowin’ trouble.”
She gave him a sad smile.
“Got it,” Jed called from the other room.
Joe tried to take Mikey from Violet so she could walk into the other room, but her arms locked around her little boy. So Joe and I got on either side of her and helped her walk into the living room with her son cradled in her arms.
Carly held the chair still while Jed took my place at Violet’s side. Then both men practically carried Violet and Mikey’s weight, easing her onto the chair as I stood to the side. Helpless.
As soon as she was settled, Carly let go and rushed over to the sofa, snatching up a throw to place over Violet’s lap and legs and tucked it around her. Violet looked up into Carly’s eyes as a warm smile spread across her face. She mouthed thank you.
“Do you need anything, Vi?” Carly asked.
“I have my baby,” she said as Mikey sank into her, his eyes fluttering closed. “I’m good.”
Carly grabbed a throw pillow and tucked it under Mikey’s butt to help support his weight, then took several steps back. “I’m gonna clean up the kitchen.”
The two men looked at a loss, so they followed Carly. I started to do the same, thinking she’d want time alone with Mikey, but Violet called out, “Rose? Can you sit with me for a moment?”
“Yeah,” I pushed out as I perched on the edge of the coffee table.
“Being a mother means making choices—choices that people don’t always agree with. Trust your gut and your heart—they won’t steer you wrong.”
I nodded slightly.
She watched me for several moments, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. “I wish I could stay long enough to see you hold your own baby.”
I choked back a sob.
“I want to tell you a secret, something you must swear never to tell another soul,” she whispered, then placed a soft kiss to Mikey’s forehead. His eyes were closed, and his breathing had deepened.
“I’ll keep your secret, Vi,” I vowed solemnly.
“Until I had my babies, I loved you the most.”
I blinked, unsure I’d heard her right. “What?”
“You have no idea how much I’ve loved you. You have no idea all the orchestrations I put into play to protect you. To punish the people who hurt you. I married Mike with the sole purpose of moving you out of Momma’s house. I made Mike give up a job in Little Rock so I could stay in Henryetta and watch over you. For my whole life, my purpose was to love and protect you. I took it seriously, Rose.” A sheepish look filled her eyes. “I admit, I devoted myself to it too seriously at times. I’ve mad
e many mistakes, but loving you wasn’t one of them.”
“Vi…”
“You were my first love, Rose. My first responsibility, and while I feel like I’ve failed you by letting this cancer steal my life, when you told me that you were pregnant this morning, I realized my job was done. It’s time to trust you to live your own life. And you’ll be amazin’.”
“Violet, I’m nowhere close to bein’ ready to let you go.”
“You’ll be okay.” She motioned her head toward the kitchen. “You’ll be loved.” She paused. “But I need you to make sure my own babies will be okay.”
“I will, Vi,” I vowed. “I swear it.”
She leaned her head back, closing her eyes as she rocked. “I never once doubted it, but I had to hear you promise.”
I could see she was dozing, her toddler sprawled across her chest, and I let her words soak in deeply. Had I been too hard on my sister? We were raised in an abusive family, and we both had our roles, roles that had been hard to break even after we were grown. Why hadn’t I thought to cajole Violet to go to family counseling with me last fall when I started seeing Jonah for my own growth? Why had I squandered so much time?
I headed into the kitchen to help clean up, but they were almost done. Neely Kate and Witt were still outside with Ashley, but Carly, Jed and Joe eyed me anxiously.
“Do you think she’ll get sick?” Carly asked.
“It’s probably allergies,” Joe insisted, drying his hand off with a towel.
I nodded, but it was forced, and I couldn’t look into his eyes. I didn’t think either of us really believed that.
“I’m tired,” I said, turning to Joe. “Can you take the kids home? I don’t think my heart can take it.”
Joe walked over and pulled me into a hug. “Of course, Rose. You go to bed, and Jed and I will get Violet upstairs.”
“I’ll get her tucked in,” Carly said. “I feel guilty that you’ve been working yourself to the bone this last month. You should have been getting to bed early.”
I shook my head. “None of us knew why I was so tired, so no need for guilt.” I pushed out a sigh. “But I still need to go back to the doctor for an ultrasound. I should have called to make an appointment.”
Come Rain or Shine: Rose Gardner Investigations #5 (Rose Gardner Investigatons) Page 24