by Katie Lane
“Cord! Look at this ornament. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Cord! Is this supposed to be Santa Claus ’cause he looks more like the street guy in Cheyenne who used to ask for quarters for coffee.”
“Cord! Should we go check on Maple and Ruckus? It’s pretty cold outside and they might need a warm blanket.”
“Cord! Can I put on the star now? Can I? Can I?”
Christie would’ve intervened if Cord had seemed annoyed by her daughter. But he didn’t. He laughed at her funny comments, patiently answered her questions, and set up the ladder for her to put on the star before calling Danny Ray over to help. Danny Ray didn’t look as thrilled as Carrie Anne by the prospect. The look of fear on his face made Christie remember that he had always been afraid of heights. She started to volunteer when Cord handed Carrie Anne the star and followed her up the ladder.
Christie couldn’t help feeling a little nervous when her daughter leaned over the tall tree to place the star on top, but Cord was standing right behind her with a protective arm around her waist. Christie lifted her phone and clicked off numerous pictures. Once the glittering star was on and Carrie Anne was safely on the floor, she reviewed the shots she’d taken. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. Not only because of Carrie Anne’s happy, smiling face, but also because of the look on Cord’s as he watched her.
It was a look of complete and utter love. A look that Christie had hoped and prayed would come from Danny Ray. Instead, it came from a man who didn’t have her blood, but who had still made room for Carrie Anne in his heart.
Chapter Seventeen
Jasper snorted. “That boy ain’t dealin’ with a full deck.”
Cord watched Danny Ray struggling to maneuver the forks of the front loader under the bales of hay. He should probably go over and help him, but he was hoping he would eventually figure it out on his own. “He’ll get it. He just needs some time.”
“Yeah, maybe he’ll have that hay stacked by Christmas . . . of next year. Damn, it’s cold out here.” Jasper flipped up the collar of his sheepskin jacket.
If ever a man looked like a cowboy, it was Jasper. His body was bent from all the horses and bulls he’d been thrown off of. His face was weathered from all the heat waves and windstorms he’d driven cattle through. And his blue eyes held a wealth of knowledge that only time and experience could give you. Cord could only hope that time and experience would teach Danny Ray.
“Give Danny Ray a chance,” he said. “It took me a long time to figure out what I was doing wrong,”
“Because you were swimming in a bottle of tequila. That boy”—Jasper nodded his head at Danny Ray who had just toppled the two rows of hay bales he’d stacked—“is stone cold sober.”
“Okay, so he’s a slow learner. But I don’t give a damn if he can stack hay. I care if he can learn to be a good daddy.” He’d given up on the good husband idea. Christie had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want Danny Ray back. Part of him was pretty upset about that. He had hoped that her getting back with her ex would get rid of all the emotions that consumed him every time she was anywhere near. But the other part of him, the emotional part, was damned happy that she was no longer in love with Danny Ray.
Jasper leaned his arms on the top rail of the fence. “I hope Danny Ray can be a good daddy too. It sure would be nice for that sweet little Carrie Anne.” He glanced over at Cord. “Of course, you don’t have to be a blood relative to be a good daddy.”
Cord leaned on the fence next to him. “I hope you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking. Because I can’t be a good daddy to Carrie Anne when I couldn’t even be a good daddy to my own son. You were there. You saw what a deadbeat father I was. Which is why you didn’t like me to begin with.”
“I didn’t just dislike you. I pretty much hated you. You were one arrogant, screwed up, sorry SOB.”
Cord shot him a glance. “Gee, thanks.”
Jasper grinned. “It’s the truth. And if I hadn’t run into those old boys from the Double Diamond Boys’ Ranch, I would’ve never learned why.”
“Lucas and Chester had no business telling you about my past.”
“If they hadn’t, I might not have looked beneath the asshole to the hurt man beneath.” Jasper’s eyes filled with concern. He might be a crusty old cowboy on the outside, but on the inside, he was a big ol’ marshmallow. “It had to be tough losing your daddy at an early age and being left with a mama who couldn’t recover from her grief long enough to raise her son proper.”
“It wasn’t that bad. I loved being at the Double Diamond Ranch.”
“From the sounds of it, those two old cowboys did right by you. But they couldn’t heal everything that was wrong. Which is why you tried to heal it in a bottle.” Since Cord couldn’t argue with that, he kept his mouth shut. “But you’ve climbed out of that bottle,” Jasper continued. “And I’m damned proud of the man you’ve become. It’s time that you become proud of that man too.”
He buttoned up his coat. Jasper was right. It was damned cold outside. “I can’t be proud of causing my son the same pain and hurt that my mother caused me when she sent me away. I can’t be proud of that.”
The punch came out of nowhere and knocked him on his ass. Jasper had always had one helluva punch. Cord sat in the dust, holding his jaw and staring up at his friend.
“What the hell was that for?”
Jasper spit a stream of tobacco onto the ground. “Because I’m damned tired of you bellyaching about how you did your son wrong. Hell yeah, you did Ryker wrong. No one can argue that point. But you also did him right by coming here and spending the last few months trying your damnedest to gain your son’s forgiveness and respect. And from what I can tell, Ryker has given you both.”
Cord got to his feet and dusted off his jeans. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“Then you’re a damned fool. A son who hasn’t forgiven you is not coming to your house for no tree-trimming party. He’s not spending hours a day helping your business be successful. And he’s not watching you just like a proud son watches his daddy.”
Cord stared at him. “Ryker looks at me with pride?”
“He does. And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your self-pity, you’d realize it.”
“Then why won’t he hug me back or call me Daddy?”
“Maybe he’s as stubborn as his father. Maybe he’s hanging onto the past and fighting against his feelings.” Jasper squinted at him. “Sorta like you’re fighting against the feelings you have for that pretty little Christie Buchanan.”
“I don’t have feelings for Christie Buchanan,” he said a little too quickly. “We’re just friends.”
Jasper laughed. “Yes sirree. Those looks you were giving her the other night looked real friendly to me. You almost set your entire house on fire with those friendly looks.” He picked up Cord’s hat and dusted it off on his leg before he handed it to him. “But go ahead and stick your head in the sand if you want to, boy. It’s no skin off my nose.”
There was nothing to say to that. Cord was working damn hard to keep his head buried in the sand where Christie was concerned.
The sound of tires on gravel had both men turning to the dirt road that led to the ranch. Cord recognized the blue Ford Fiesta immediately. Since the tree trimming party, Granny Bon had showed up every afternoon to cook supper for the three men. She was a nice woman and a great cook, but she was also a little bossy. Something that Jasper didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Yeehaw! Bonnie’s here.”
“Get a grip on your hormones, Jasper. She’s Summer’s grandmother. Not to mention that she’s older than you.”
Jasper shrugged. “So what? If you want to ignore the pretty young thing who only has eyes for you, you go right ahead. But I’m not going to ignore a beautiful woman just because we weren’t born in the same year.” He took off his hat and hurried over to open Bonnie’s door.
“Good mornin’, Miss Bonnie. You’re lookin’ awfully bea
utiful today.”
Granny Bon got out. “Why, thank you, Jasper. Now get the groceries out of the back. And if you dribble any of that tobacco juice out of your mouth onto the groceries, I’ll have your hide.”
Jasper grinned from ear to ear. “You can have all of me, sweetheart. All you have to do is ask.”
“Mind your manners, you ornery cowboy,” Granny Bon said, but there was a twinkle in her gray eyes that said she didn’t mind Jasper’s flirting all that much. Cord had to admit that the two made a cute couple. Granny Bon was just feisty enough to handle a crusty old cowboy like Jasper.
After Cord helped Jasper and Granny Bon bring in all the groceries, he went back out to see if Danny Ray had made any progress with the hay. He hadn’t. In fact, he’d made a real mess of things. He looked more than relieved when Cord took over the job and sent him inside to warm up. The temperature had dropped considerably, and if the clouds were any indication, they were in for more sleet and ice.
Cord hurried to get the hay stacked beneath the shelter before that happened. As he worked, his mind wandered back to what Jasper had said. Was his friend right? Had Ryker forgiven him and Cord was just too wrapped up in his own self-pity to notice? Ryker did help him out a lot with his business. And he had shown up to the tree decorating party and seemed to have a good time. He had even stayed for lunch the day before and then watched Cord work with Raise-a-Ruckus. Now that Cord thought about it, he had seen a little sparkle of pride in Ryker’s eyes. Of course, he could’ve just been looking at the horse.
His cellphone buzzed in his pocket. He finished stacking the last bale of hay before he shut off the engine of the front loader and answered it. He was instantly concerned when Christie’s frazzled voice came through the speaker.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Cord, but I didn’t know who else to call. I took a day off from the bakery to go Christmas shopping for Carrie Anne at the Walmart in Fredericksburg and my car broke down in the parking lot. I can call a tow truck so that’s not the problem. The problem is that I’m not going to make it back in time for Carrie Anne’s school Christmas party.” Her voice quavered. “And this is her first Christmas party at her new school and I wanted to be there for it, which is one of the reasons I took the day off. Now the other kids will have their parents there, but she won’t have anyone.” A heart-wrenching sob came through the speaker. “Not anyone.”
Her tears almost brought Cord to his knees, and he wished like hell he could reach through the phone and pull her into his arms. Instead, he tried to convey his comfort through his voice. “It’s going to be okay. Now you stay put. I’ll call a tow truck to come get your car. And I’m coming to get you.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I’m fine. I want you to be with Carrie Anne.”
“I’ll take care of Carrie Anne. I give you my word. Now stay put.” He hung up the phone and called a tow service before he headed into the house. He found Jasper and Danny Ray sitting at the center island watching Granny Bon cut up vegetables.
When Granny Bon saw him, she set down her knife. “What happened?”
“Christie’s car broke down in Fredericksburg and I need to go get her. But Carrie Anne’s holiday party is today and she needs family to be there with her.” He looked at Danny Ray. “You’re up, Daddy.”
“What?” Danny Ray shook his head. “I don’t want to go to no kids’ party. One kid is fine, but multiple kids scare the hell out of me.”
This time, Cord wasn’t willing to wait while Danny Ray figured things out on his own. He grabbed him by the front of the shirt and lifted him off the barstool. “You don’t need be afraid of kids. You need to be afraid of me. If you don’t show up at that party and make your daughter happy, I’m going to kick your ass from one end of Bliss to the other. Do you understand me?”
Danny Ray swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He released his shirt. “Good. Now I’ll be back as soon as I can with Christie.”
“You want me to go with you?” Jasper asked. Before he could answer, Granny Bon cut in.
“I’m sure Cord can handle it just fine without you.” She followed him to the door. “There’s no need to hurry. I’ll make sure Danny Ray gets to the school.” She paused. “Along with the rest of Carrie Anne’s family.”
He glanced at her in surprise. “You know?”
“Yes, but I wish Christie had trusted us enough to tell us.” She smiled. “You must be special if you were the first one she shared her secret with.” She gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Something I knew the moment I met you. Now go get our Christie and bring her home.”
Cord pulled on his cowboy hat. “Yes, ma’am.”
He went over the speed limit all the way to Fredericksburg. He planned on calling Christie when he got to the Walmart to find out where she was. But as soon as he pulled into the parking lot, he saw her standing next to the tow truck. He pulled up next to her and hopped out. She did not look happy to see him.
“I told you I wanted you to stay with Carrie Anne,” she said. “Now she won’t have any family with her.”
“Trust me. Carrie Anne will have plenty of family at the party.” He came around the front of the truck. “Now finish yelling at me in the truck. It’s freezing out here.” He opened the passenger side door, but when she started to climb in, he noticed the tears in her eyes. “Hey.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.
That was all it took for her to fall into his arms. She pressed her face between the open lapels of his sheepskin coat. “I can’t do it,” she said in a muffled voice that heated right through the cotton of his western shirt. “I can’t give Carrie Anne her perfect Christmas. The tree I picked out doesn’t fit in the trailer and I had to leave it outside in a big bucket and act like that was so much better than having it inside. But it’s not better, and she knows it. And I’m not going to win the gingerbread house contest, so I won’t have money to buy her the bike she has her heart set on. I couldn’t even buy the decorations I wanted for the stupid tree because my credit card got rejected. And now, I’m missing her Christmas party. I’m the biggest failure in the history of mothers.”
She burst into tears, her shoulders shaking with big racking sobs. The people walking by with their full carts slowed down to stare, but Cord didn’t care. All he cared about was comforting Christie. He opened his coat and pulled her closer, wrapping it and his arms tightly around her. In her high-heeled boots, her head still only reached the center of his chest. He pressed a kiss to her sweet smelling hair and tried to come up with something to say that would make her feel better. What he finally came up with was a truth he’d just now realized.
“I guess all parents feel like they’re the worst parent in the world at one time or another. It’s just part of being a parent. But I figure if you’re worried about it, then you aren’t bad at all. You’re just like all the rest of us that are struggling to do right by our kids.”
The tow guy finished hitching up her car and glanced at Christie’s head peeking out of Cord’s coat. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. She just needs a minute.” He took note of the name and address printed on the door of the tow truck. “Go ahead. We’ll meet you at the garage.”
A few minutes after the tow truck left, Christie finally stopped crying and drew back. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her eyes were red-rimmed, but she still looked beautiful to him. “I’m okay now,” she said. “You can let me go.”
“You sure? Because I don’t mind standing here holding you for a little while longer.” Like for days. Or maybe years. It was another truth he’d just realized. He liked holding Christie. He liked kissing her. Hell, he just flat out liked her. And he couldn’t hide from it anymore.
But she stepped out of his arms. “No, I’m fine.” She glanced around. “Besides being completely humiliated.”
He pulled out the bandanna from his back pocket and handed it to her. “I bet you aren’t the first person to cry in a Walmart parking lot. And you won’
t be the last.”
They didn’t say much on the drive to the garage to check on her car. He cranked up the heater and then turned on the radio. It was a country Christmas station that Jasper had programmed in, and he quickly changed it to something that wouldn’t remind Christie of missing Carrie Anne’s party. Although she had more to worry about than missing her daughter’s party when the mechanic gave her the list of what he thought was wrong with her Chevy Malibu.
“If I was you,” the guy said. “I’d sell it for scrap metal and be done with it.”
When Christie looked like she was going to burst into tears again, Cord stepped in. “Can you keep it for a day until she decides what she wants to do?”
“Sure. Just call me tomorrow. Even if you decide to fix it, it will take two weeks to order the parts and fit it into the schedule.”
“Thanks.” Cord looked at Christie. “Is there anything you need to get out of your car before we leave it?”
She nodded, and he could tell she was struggling to hold back her tears. “Carrie Anne’s booster seat.”
He handed her the keys to his truck. “I’ll get it. You go get warm.” He figured she needed a few moments alone so he took his time getting the booster chair and calling Granny Bon.
“Did Danny Ray get to the party?” he asked.
“Not only is Danny Ray at the party, but so are Autumn, Spring, and Summer,” Granny Bon said. “Ms. Marble is covering for Summer at the bakery. And I’m covering for Spring at the sheriff’s office.”
“Did you tell them?”
“No. I figure that Christie’s job. They went because she’s their friend and they care for her and Carrie Anne. Now how is everything going there?”