by Fable Gray
He listened to my words with rapt attention. It was the most I’d given him so far, the most I’d told him about my true feelings.
“I feel the same way,” Declan said after a moment. His lips brushed against mine. “My life changed in an instant and now I can’t imagine it any other way.”
I knew exactly how he felt, but that part did scare me. I had no idea where things would go from here and that made worry crop up again.
“Don’t,” Declan murmured, his lips brushing mine again. “Don’t worry about things you can’t control right now. Just stay here, in the moment, with me.”
It was the best advice I’d gotten in a long time. To live in the moment. Not too difficult considering the god of a man that stood before me. I slid my hand into his hair and tightened my fingers, loving when he groaned and took my mouth again.
He kissed me recklessly, as though he feared I may never kiss him again. I found myself wanting to be as close to him as possible, to show him I was here with him right now—and right now was all that mattered.
I slid slick hands down his toned arms and over his abdomen. His stomach tightened when I moved even lower.
“Royal,” he breathed.
I kissed his cheek and jaw, then moved lower, pressing kisses to his chest while my hands slid over his thickening shaft. In moments, it was rock hard, straining in my grip. I lowered myself to my knees on the hard tile, my gaze level with his cock.
Declan opened his eyes and gazed down at me. “Royal,” he started.
“Please. Let me do this for you.”
His lips parted, but I moved before he had the chance to say anything. My lips closed over the head of his cock. Declan groaned, and it was like his whole body groaned. His entire body relaxed, as though he’d been holding some kind of tension for far too long and he could finally give in. Finally let go.
One of his hands propped against the shower wall, fingers white with the pressure while the other fisted in my hair.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “That feels so good.”
Encouraged by his words, I bobbed my head, sliding my tongue along the underside of his shaft while my hand clenched at the base. I hollowed my cheeks and tightened the suction. His body jerked at the feel of it, encouraging me further.
“Royal,” he gasped, his fingers clenching in my hair. “I’m so close. I—”
His body shuddered. I could tell he was holding back, trying to make it last. But I wanted him to lose it. To lose his control for one moment and fall apart in my hands.
“Royal,” he said again, voice choked.
This time, I got to my feet, wanting to see his face when he came. Wanting to hold him as shudders racked his body. I reached down and stroked his shaft once—just once was all it took.
He exploded against me, the climax hitting him hard and fast. His arms wrapped around me like bands of steel, his mouth at the crook of my neck as his body trembled against mine. I held him, smoothing my hands over the muscles of his shoulders until his heartbeat slowed and he was able to lift his head again.
When he did, his eyes locked on mine. His hands moved to my cheeks almost reverently. “What can I do for you. Anything, just name it—”
I smiled at him. “You don’t have to do anything. I—”
“Royal, please.”
“Will you wash my hair?”
He blinked, as though surprised I’d asked something so simple. Something far from sexual. But in an instant, he had shampoo in his palm. I turned away from him and then closed my eyes when his fingers massaged my scalp.
I sighed. This. This was enough right now. I was nearly dead on my feet after everything that had gone on this week. Being here with him while he washed my hair and took care of me in such a simple way was more than enough.
In fact, right now, it was everything. Declan finished washing my hair and went a step further, lathering his hands with body wash and running them all over my body.
He pressed a kiss in every place he washed, turning me on. I could see the renewed heat in his eyes, but he did nothing more than finish his job and stand again.
“Come on,” he murmured, stepping out and taking my hand. “You look so tired.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” He shook his head and whipped a towel off the counter to help dry me. “You shouldn’t apologize. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s normal to get tired and I don’t want to push you past your limits.”
I scanned his features. He didn’t look exhausted, he looked energized. Like he could go all night. I knew he could. And part of me felt guilty that I couldn’t give him more.
Declan shook his head again and turned me so he could squeeze water from my hair with the towel. “I can tell what you’re thinking—and see it on your face. Don’t feel guilty.”
“Declan,” I mumbled.
“Royal,” he returned mildly. “We have the whole weekend. And, trust me, once you’ve had some rest, we’ll take advantage of it. Why don’t you get in bed?”
“Are you coming with me?”
“Of course. This was one of the things I was looking forward to the most about this weekend. The simple moments with you.”
I walked to the bed and got in under heavy, soft sheets. I leaned back on the pillows, in complete agreement with what Declan said. It had been a whirlwind since we started our relationship, and moments like these were hard to find. Now, we were getting into a rhythm. Learning what each other was like and some of our little habits.
I yawned, and then put my hand over my mouth when he stopped at the end of the bed. “I’m fine,” I told him. “Really.”
He chuckled and repeated, “We have plenty of time.” He walked to the side of the room and closed the curtains, then took off his watch and set it on the dresser.
I watched him do all these things, his nighttime rituals, and wondered if they really were his regular nighttime rituals. Either way, he made them look good. He was still stark naked, looking like a bronzed god and moving like a panther.
Declan glanced over and caught my eye. “I like this,” he murmured. “Seeing you in my bed. And knowing I get to wake up to you.”
“No, I get to wake up to you. You don’t wake up at all because you never go to sleep.”
His eyes burned into mine, and I knew he was trying to figure out where those words were coming from. I didn’t even realize it until they came out, then I sank lower in the bed pulling the covers up over my chest as if it would shield me from his scrutiny.
I tried to change the subject. “Why do you even have a bed?” I asked with a smile. “Or is it just for all the women you bring home?”
He smiled as if he knew I was trying to bait him. And instead of answering the question, he walked over and got in next to me, his legs brushing mine under the covers.
“Is it a problem for you? That I don’t sleep?” he asked.
I laughed softly partly because I felt like an idiot and partly because when he said it like that, it sounded silly. “No, it’s not a problem. Of course it’s not. You should do whatever you want at night. I mean, that’s a lot of hours to just be sitting here.”
“It goes by fast,” he said softly, his eyes tracing my face and moving down to the swell of my breasts above the covers. “I like to be in here with you. I like to see the moment you wake up.”
I swallowed. I liked having him next to me when I woke up too, but now it seemed ridiculous to ask that of him. “I know. It’s just that you don’t have to—”
Declan levered himself over the top of me so I was looking up into his gaze. He kissed me softly on the lips and said, “I could understand this better if you would just explain it to me. Then I could fix it or—”
“Fix it? There’s nothing to fix. It—” I broke off when I saw the look he was giving me. He was being patient and I was being petulant. I blew out a breath. “So, that relationship I told you about in college. That one that messed up my head and kind of made me weird about relationship
s?” Declan moved again, lowering himself to my side with a nod. He brushed his fingers on my cheek. “He…he spent a lot of time telling me things that he didn’t mean. Like how he loved me and how he wanted to spend forever with me. He also spent a lot of time telling me how I should dress, how I should look, how I should fuck him.”
Declan’s fingers stilled in my cheek and he cursed quietly. When he realized I’d stopped talking, he touched my cheek again. “Sorry. Go on.”
“I, uh…constantly felt like I was doing something wrong. It wasn’t often that he would come over to my dorm room to stay the night. Only if he was bored and had nothing else to do. He would come over to get what he wanted, but he would never stay. He’d always say he had somewhere to go or classes to study for. And for as much as he said he loved me, I always wondered why I woke up alone. Even when I went to his place, he would always tell me that I needed to leave, that his roommate was a light sleeper, or that he had early classes and he didn’t want to wake me.” I shrugged like it didn’t matter, though the unfairness of it all and how stupid I’d been still bugged me. “Anyway, I saw how ridiculous it was after the fact. After I met Xander and he pointed it out to me and told me that Tate was totally using me. I saw that it wasn’t love. And it wasn’t even healthy.”
I shrugged again and fell silent, not knowing what else to say. But I had finally opened up and told Declan, and I could see right there as plain as day that was the root of my concern about him sleeping in the same room as me. I supposed I equated him not being there the whole night with him not wanting to be there.
“It’s silly, I know. It’s not fair to expect you to be here—”
“It’s not silly.” Declan leaned in to drop a kiss on my lips. “It’s not silly, and I get it. I completely get it. It brings you comfort to have me here and it shows you how I feel about you.”
“I know how you feel about me, and you don’t have to be here to prove that.”
“For now, let’s make it simple. I’ll be here when you fall asleep and I’ll be here when you wake up. Because I want to be. And because it means something to you. And if there’s something else I need to do, I’ll let you know. It has nothing to do with me wanting to be here. I promise you.”
I nodded and smiled at him. “I know that.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Good.” Declan reached out and turned off the light by the bed. Then he hooked one of his legs over mine. He was like a furnace, but it felt good. It made me feel warm and wanted.
All I could hear was his quiet breathing and feel the heat of his body near mine.
“Thank you for telling me,” Declan murmured.
“Thank you for listening. I don’t really like to talk about that time in my life, probably because it makes me feel so out of control. But I’m glad you know. I’m glad you understand where my craziness comes from sometimes.
“Not craziness. Human-ness.”
I smiled to myself. “Well, now you know one of my weaknesses. But you don’t seem to have any.”
I felt him brush his fingers down my cheek and then trail over my jaw, down my neck to my collarbone, making me shiver. “My weakness,” he said simply, “is you.”
#
When I woke sometime in the middle of the night, I turned to my side, automatically stretching my legs out to feel Declan, but he wasn’t there.
I was jolted awake when I reached out with one hand and also felt nothing. His side of the bed was cool like he hadn’t been in it for a while.
Easing up on my elbow, I frowned. Where was he? After the conversation we’d had, he wouldn't have left unless there was a reason.
I sat up in the darkness and then heard a low voice. It was coming from the bathroom. However, there wasn’t a light on from what I could tell from the crack underneath.
What the hell? I crawled to the bottom of the bed and listened as closely as I could, but I could only hear a murmur.
Was he talking to himself in the restroom? Why?
It hit me then that he was probably on his phone. And he was trying to be quiet in order not to wake me. But who could he be talking to in the middle of the night?
I heard the toilet flush and scrambled again for the covers as fast as possible. Only seconds later, the door opened. In a flash, Declan was next to me in bed.
His arm bumped mine. “Royal?”
“I woke up,” I told him honestly, “and you weren’t here.”
“I had to use the restroom. Another one of those things that makes me human, just like you.” There was humor in his voice, but it also sounded strained.
“I thought I heard you talking,” I told him, snuggling up against his side.
“Just talking to myself. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I froze for a long moment. He was lying to me. I knew he was talking to someone and he didn’t want me to know. But then I blew out a breath. Maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it right now and he would tell me tomorrow.
I didn’t have any reason not to trust him.
“You didn't wake me,” I told him.
He shifted to stretch his arm out and let me crawl closer against him. I did so without hesitation, telling myself things will be cleared up later instead of the middle of the night.
And then I fell asleep again.
Chapter 30
Sunlight touched my cheeks. I opened one eye at the brightness of the room, distinctly remembering Declan closing the curtains last night and wondering how it was so bright in here.
“I’m being selfish,” Declan said, standing by the curtains, which he parted slightly to let the sun in. He was stark naked, which woke me up faster than the light.
“Selfish?” I mumbled. I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly ten am. I rubbed my eyes and mumbled, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Declan walked back to the bed and looked down at me. “That’s why I’m being selfish. I wanted to spend time with you so I purposefully woke you up.”
I chuckled softly and stretched my arms above my head. The comforter slid down, nearly exposing my bare breasts. Declan’s gaze dropped and a smile curved his lips.
“I think I know the real reason you wanted me to wake up,” I murmured.
He crawled onto the bed, his body poised over mine. “Can you blame me?”
“Not one bit. I’m sorry. I don’t usually sleep in this late. Or at all, really.”
“It was a long week,” Declan said. He bent to kiss my lips. “Are you hungry?”
I grinned. “Yes.”
I lifted the covers so he could climb underneath, but the moment he did, it got hot quick.
“You’re so warm,” I told him, closing my eyes again when he wrapped his arms around me.
His nose touched my cheek and then he whispered in my ear, “You're so cool. That’s why I can’t stop touching you.”
“I’m going to catch on fire if you keep doing that.”
He chuckled, but instead of moving away, he took the covers and whipped them off my body. I gasped when cool air hit every bit of naked flesh.
“Better?” he asked.
“Slightly.”
“How about this?” Declan levered himself over the top of me, taking away the heat on the left side of my body. Then he nudged my legs apart and slid inside of me like silk.
I sighed. I wasn’t thinking about the heat anymore. “Better,” I whispered.
“You can take another shower after this if you need to.”
Then he was pumping his hips against mine and driving me to a frenzied peak. The heat swelled around me, but I didn’t want him to stop.
He swiveled his hips and hit me right where it ached in my core. I shoved my hips against his as hard as possible, wanting to feel him so deep inside it was like we were the same person.
Declan didn’t relent, making me come quickly with a yell of his name. I loved the way his body shuddered against mine and he held on for dear life as if letting go woul
d mean the end of pleasure as he knew it.
Before my breathing had even slowed, Declan kissed my cheek and got out of bed in a rush of energy.
“How can you do that?” I shut my eyes and stretched on the cool covers. “Just get up like that with endless energy when I feel like a noodle.”
“I need to stretch my legs,” was all he said.
I instantly felt bad. It probably wasn’t fun for him to stay in one spot all night, his muscles getting stiff instead of being able to use them.
Then I remembered. He hadn’t been in bed all night. Not when he’d been in the bathroom.
I opened my eyes immediately and then stood while he was going through the drawers at his dresser.
I flashed him a smile as I walked past and went to the bathroom. He started to say something, but I assured him it would only be a minute and shut the door quickly.
And there it was. Right on the edge of the counter. His cell phone.
I almost reached for it, almost pulled up whatever information there was from last night because I wanted to know. I wasn’t a jealous person but I still had my moments of insecurity like everyone. And I had reasons from the past to feel that way.
An image of him and that woman he’d been with the first day I’d met him flashed in my mind. She’d been beautiful, no doubt. And closer to my age. Young, pretty, everything a billionaire bachelor would want.
But no, that wasn’t Declan. I didn’t really believe he would cheat, did I? And he was hardly a bachelor anymore. He was with me.
I jerked my hand back from the phone. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t worried he was cheating. And I was only a little worried he was keeping something from me. But he’d tell me in time, right? Or if I asked him? If it was something important, we’d discuss it.
I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, leaving the room with a smile on my face. No sense in ruining the day because of my insecurities.
“Everything okay?”
“No,” I told him with a grin. “I can’t find my clothes.”