by Ellen March
Running down the stairs he shouted, “Emily!”
* * *
Emily’s eyebrows shot up in shock as Jago bounded into the kitchen, larger than life. His hair was still wet, and as he shook his head, the droplets arced through the air, throwing a shimmering mantle across his shoulders.
“Nice to see you up, er, sober,” she commented, not caring if she offended.
“I’ve come to my senses at last, Em. I’m going to find her. I’m going to fetch her home,” he said. His face was earnest, his green eyes restored to life. Their dull moss green had been replaced by a blazing vibrancy.
“But how? Her last name is ‘Smith.’ And the agency won’t give up her address.”
“Then that’s where I’m going. And trust me, I won’t leave till I get it.”
Emily nodded her head with confidence, because when Jago wanted something, he got it. “Coffee?” she asked, automatically pouring the thick black liquid, the heady aroma infusing the air in the kitchen.
“And toast, the way Riley makes it.” His lips twitched at the thought of her earthy style of eating. He wanted huge doorstops dripping with butter and coated with jam, a cholesterol-laden feast.
“Coming up.” Emily grinned, just glad to have the old Jago back. And oh so thankful that he was going to do something about finding Riley. They were made for each other. He just needed to convince the girl.
* * *
Riley paced around the house. For the first time in her entire life she was off her food.
And that was serious because nothing ever caused that. Every time she shut her eyes, Jago’s beautiful face swam in front of her. So she tried not to sleep, which gave her large black circles beneath her eyes. She glanced in the mirror and thought she looked like a panda, with her black hair and white face. She turned away in disgust.
Riley didn’t want to look at herself. She was ugly, lonely and unwanted … and one other thing that she refused to admit.
That in itself was a worry, but like an ostrich, she buried her head to it.
Rob looked in on her, watching her stare sadly out of the window. Her former vibrancy was a thing of the past, and an aura of haunted sadness surrounded her. He knew it couldn’t go on like this. She was fading before his eyes. Never big, apart from her breasts, she was now tiny.
And it was his fault.
He’d destroyed any happiness his sister might have had. And he’d be damned if he’d stand back and watch her ruin her life because of him.
Lighting up a cigarette, he strolled into the lounge. “What are you going to do?” he asked conversationally.
“Well, not watch television, that’s for sure,” she replied, glancing at the broken screen.
“You know what I mean. Why don’t you call him?” he pushed, puffing out the blue smoke in a long spiral.
She shook her head. “No, it’s over. Leave it there, Rob,” she said firmly.
“Did you love him?”
“Very much.” A raucous sob broke free. “And I still do.” The sentence ended on a high wail.
Rob winced, wishing she’d stop. She sounded like a harpy, and he was convinced his hearing would be permanently damaged. “So why not go to him? He wants you; you want him. And yet you’re both staying apart? Sorry, but I don’t get it,” he shouted in exasperation.
“No, you wouldn’t. You think text dumping is fine.” She reminded him of the reason she’d left in the first place.
“Don’t keep on! Jeez, you’ve got the memory of an elephant.” He tried to decide on his next plan of action.
“Just leave it there, will you?” she shouted back, and everything went hazy before her eyes. “Rob?” she whimpered. Then darkness descended and she collapsed to the floor.
“Christ, Ri, are you okay?” He dropped down beside her and worriedly shook her shoulders.
She groaned. “Will you stop that? You’re worse than Jago, waking me up.” The tears sprang to her eyes as she thought back to those times.
“Well, what happened?” he asked with uncharacteristic concern, and helped her to her feet.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s probably because I’m not eating,” she lied, fighting down the nausea. She tried to calm herself by breathing deeply until she could speak without throwing up.
“Well, you’ve got to do something,” he said. “You can’t stay cooped up here all the time.” He relit his fag, relieved she was back on her feet.
“Oh, and excuse me … what about you? Why can’t you get a job and get out from under my feet? It would make for a bloody change,” she bit back. Slouching in the chair, she glowered at him. Her head was still swimming. She tried to shake it off, but she knew the real reason she’d blacked out.
Rob listened to her tirade, eventually followed by an avalanche of tears. He knew she wouldn’t thank him, but he couldn’t live like this anymore. He filched her telephone book from her bag.
* * *
Emily was in the kitchen when the phone rang.
“Hello?” she asked, dusting the flour from her apron.
“Can you take this number down and ring me back? It’s Rob, and I’m out of talk time.” He clicked his mobile off just as the last of his minutes died.
Emily frowned at the number she’d scribbled down, relieved there was always a pad and pen close by the handset. She was wondering if it was a wind up when Jago loped in.
“What’s up?”
“Well, don’t really know,” she tried to explain. “Do you know anyone called Rob, by any chance?”
“Who? Are you sure you heard right?” His eyes glowed with feral intensity.
“Yes, there are many things that happen with old age, but I haven’t succumbed to them all.”
“Sorry, Em, but he’s Riley’s brother.” Jago tried to calm his heart banging in his chest and snatched the phone off her.
“Oh, my goodness.” She ripped the sheet out of the pad and handed it over. “Here’s the number. I hope I took it down correctly. No talk time or something and can you ring him,” she bubbled excitedly.
* * *
Rob hovered by the phone and wondered how long it took to connect to Wales—or from Wales, he corrected as it rang.
“Hello?”
“Is this Rob?”
“Yeah, I need to speak to Jago. It’s about Riley.”
“Speaking. How is she? Is she okay?” Jago was so frantic for news that he ached with it.
“That’s why I’m ringing up. Got a pen? I’ll give you our address,” he said before dropping the bombshell. Jago wouldn’t be in any fit state once Rob had relayed his message.
Jago signalled to Emily. “Yes, go ahead.” He recited it aloud as she wrote it down.
“So, how is she?” he repeated, realizing he’d avoided his question. He swallowed nervously.
“Sorry to tell you, Jago, but she collapsed today. She’s dying.” He omitted the bit about her broken heart. But people did die of that, he thought reasonably. And if she kept up her banshee wailing, then murder seemed the only way out.
Jago dropped into a chair, feeling sick. His head felt fractured and his body, numb. A little over a month ago she had been fine, and now?
“But how … what?” he stuttered, unable to string a sentence together. His mind was in a mess, his brain scrambled. The inside of his stomach felt as if a vice were inside, tearing him apart.
“I can’t go into detail, but she hasn’t got long. Think you’d better come down as soon as you can if you want to see her.” He was unabashed at the extent of his lying, justifying that it was a means to an end.
Jago knew he had to see for himself. His voice choking with raw emotion, he whispered. “I’m leaving now.”
“What’s wrong?” whispered Emily, terrified to see him so pale.
“Her brother said she’s dying. But she can’t be, can she, Em?” His tortured gaze bled over her, his eyes awash with tears.
“You go to her, love. That’s the least you can do,” she man
aged quietly, choking on her words.
* * *
In less than two hours Jago pulled up outside the address Rob had given him. He’d broken every traffic regulation around and didn’t give a damn. All he wanted was to see his Riley one more time. And he knew that if she died, then he would too, because he couldn’t go on without her.
A month was bad enough; a lifetime wasn’t an option.
He stared at the house, looking intently at the windows for any sign of life.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed through the broken gate and trod warily across the crazy paving—cracked and blanketed with green moss. Walking slowly up to the door, he saw that the paintwork was peeling and patched up with wooden panels. He rapped on the rusted knocker, his hand trembling, and fiddled nervously with the bracelet she’d bought him.
“Will you answer that?” called Riley, staring dreamily at the crossword, pen in hand. Her thoughts were firmly back in Tyrian. She wondered what Jago was doing now. She hoped he was missing her and suffering from the same soul-destroying agony that had been eating at her insides till she wanted to curl up and die.
Rob jumped up from the settee and checked his watch in disbelief. That man had it bad.
“Nah can’t, got to go the loo. Think it’s something I ate.” Quickly he ran up the stairs, making his escape.
“Great,” snapped Riley as the knocker rapped again, this time with a keen sense of urgency.
Taking a deep breath, she stood shakily, cursing her wobbly legs and having to force them into action.
She pulled the door open. “Yes?” She looked up into a pair of worried, deep-green eyes. Her breath hitched, and she fell forward, collapsing into Jago’s arms.
Chapter Twenty
Jago’s gaze blistered over Riley, noting the dark smudges under her eyes and the weight she’d lost, evident in her sharp cheekbones. He kicked the door shut and carried her into the house, looking about for some place to lay her down. He finally decided on the battered settee in the lounge. He noted the broken television and sparse furnishings, desperately wanting to take her out of this place that closely resembled a dump.
She groaned, and her eyes fluttered open. She was convinced she was dreaming until she stared into Jago’s ruggedly handsome face, his features strained by anxiety.
Her eyes welled with tears, and she wished he hadn’t come. Because she knew she couldn’t let him go again.
“Hey, why the tears?” he asked softly and held her hand. He feasted on her face, so dear to him that he never wanted to move.
“Why did you come here?” she sniffed, swiping the solitary tear that insisted on making its way down. There was always one that had to escape.
“Your brother phoned me. He said you were … ill.” He was unsure how to phrase it. How could he ask what she was dying of?
“Oh, so, is that all?” she snapped. “If I was fighting fit you wouldn’t give a damn.”
“Yes, I would,” he said quietly. Lacing his fingers through hers, he could feel how fragile she was. “I love you, Riley, more than you’ll ever know.” Relief washed over him that at last he’d told her.
“You what?” Her eyes widened in disbelief. Her stomach was putting in some serious tumbling. She was feeling nauseated again and pressed down on it, willing it to behave.
“You heard me: I love you. I think I have since the first day I met you. Except I was too damned stubborn to admit it.” A grin tugged at his lips, and he held his arm out to show her the bracelet. “You can’t tell me you don’t love me. Because I’ve got it in writing.”
“That’s in the past.” Riley couldn’t forget the damning words he’d hurled at her. “You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“I was hurt and angry and took it out on you.” He was desperate to make her understand. “I’m sorry, Riley, but you must know I didn’t mean any of it.”
Riley groaned and shook her head. “I can’t come back. You’ll do it again, and I couldn’t stand it,” she cried. “I love you too much for that, do you understand?”
“Then what if I ask you to marry me?” he whispered, laying it on the line. He held his breath for her answer. Either way he wasn’t leaving her here, no matter what it took.
A minute passed. “What?” she finally asked, unable to believe her ears.
“I want you as my wife. I want to live with you, fight with you, love you, and die with you,” he said quietly, his hand holding her small one in his and stroking it nervously.
Still she looked on, her blue eyes wide with shock, wondering if she was hallucinating. For the first time in her life she was at a loss for words.
“Riley, say something. Don’t put me through any more agony. I’d die for you! Hell, I’ll die without you.” His arms snaked around her, pulling her to him. “Please, Riley, say yes,” he begged.
“Are you sure?” she asked, still in shock. It was what she’d dreamed of. She prayed to God she wasn’t going to wake up and find that it was all a figment of her imagination.
“More sure of this than anything in my life,” he swore, his voice trembling with emotion.
“And you promise not to shout at me, moan about my mess in the house, how I dress, and the way I speak?” She ticked the list of his dislikes off on her fingers.
“Honey, you can do what the hell you like as long as you say yes,” he said. He kissed the inside of her wrist, and his lips grazed her skin. His eyes pinned her, pleading with her to accept his offer.
“Will you teach me to swim?” she asked, with a glint in her eye.
“Anything,” he beseeched. “For pity’s sake, just say yes.”
Finally Riley held up her arms. “Come here,” she said, shakily. The tears began falling again, and she cursed her hormones. Jago melted into her embrace. Riley’s arms tightened around him and she kissed his face, savouring the special taste that was unique to him.
“Oh, Riley, I love you so damn much. You don’t know what it’s been like this last month. At one point Em was going to book me in for AA counselling.” He laughed, yet his voice still quavered.
“I know the feeling. Rob has been the same. Except I haven’t been drinking, but actually off my food.” She paused. “How long ago did he phone you?”
Jago put his head down. He realized now what he’d said was a ploy to get him here. “About two hours ago. He told me you were dying.”
“He’s right.”
Jago felt his world collapse; he couldn’t envisage a life without her. “He, I mean, he wasn’t lying? Please, Riley, tell me the truth,” he stammered, his earlier euphoria evaporating.
Seeing his distress, Riley couldn’t keep up her teasing. “From a broken heart.” She gave him a wicked smile.
“Thank God for that! I was so scared when he told me,” he groaned, pulling her into his arms. His lips seared across hers, pouring his love deep inside. She tapped him on the shoulder, and reluctantly he raised his head.
“Take me home, Jago.”
With a shudder of relief, he held her close and swore never to let her out of his sight again. From here on in, if she said black was white, he’d believe her. And if she wanted a wardrobe full of sluttish outfits, he’d buy them. From here on in, it was going to be her world.
Just the way she wanted it.
Rob gave a relieved smile and shook hands with his brother-in-law-to-be. His sister had picked a good man. Now it remained for him to find a partner. Then, thinking back to the howls and cries that had gone on for the last month, he decided to remain single.
And sane.
* * *
On the journey home, Riley didn’t come up for air, but kept up a constant stream of jabber. Jago ignored the nagging tentacles of a headache. He loved it; he loved her. This was part of what made her special.
“How is Tom?” she asked, feeling ashamed she hadn’t written to him. He’d been so good to her.
“To be honest, I don’t have a clue. I’ve been blind drunk for the last four weeks,�
�� he admitted. “I only sobered up recently. It’s not something I’m proud of. But honey, I couldn’t live with myself, and couldn’t live without you. The only hope of blotting you out of my mind was drink.”
Riley leaned over and patted his leg, rubbing her hand up and down soothingly. “I couldn’t believe such a magical day could turn into such a nightmare,” she said, recalling Mick’s visit. “What about Eve … what part did she play in this?”
“A woman scorned, or whatever,” he said quietly. “It was Eve who put the needle in the numnah, and the snake in the stable. So when she got hold of your mobile, well ….” He left the rest unsaid. It was still too raw.
“Where is she now? I hope she’s not at Tyrian?” Riley bit her lip with worry.
“No, I sacked her. Told her to get her scrawny ass off my property and not to come back.” He glanced at Riley, pleased to see her smile approvingly.
“What happened to the drugs and Mick?” She didn’t really care but she needed to bring closure to the whole business.
“The police arrested him. My guess is he’ll be a while in prison for the drug charges. The thug who broke into your house and smashed the TV will be joining him.” He gripped the steering wheel tightly. “I left you out of it. I didn’t want you reliving what he did to you in the courts.”
“Thank you, Jago.” Her voice shook. “I couldn’t go through that again.”
“I’m just glad he didn’t rape you because I wouldn’t have stopped. I could have killed him as it was.” His voice was low with the intensity of the emotions that racked him at the memory. “When I saw him on top of you, and you lying unconscious ….” He shook his head, trying to clear the vision he had tried in vain to purge.
“Hush! He didn’t and it’s over.” She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek lightly. “It’s time to move on, just the two of us.” Riley crossed her fingers at her little lie.
Jago nodded and briefly rested his hand on her leg, squeezing it affectionately. It was all he could manage while driving. But when he got her home, they had a lot of time to make up for.
It was close to midnight when the Jeep rolled into Tyrian, and the house was shrouded in darkness until the sensor light switched on.