Isn’t the ego a tricky thing? It can twist a post around to make it seem like it’s supporting someone else when it is really all about the mom herself. Either way, the whole thing is ridiculous, and you can see how the ego works in mysterious and tricky ways. If she should be worried about anything, it should be about how her baby’s head is so blurry.
Staying in the Competition: Manufacturing Our Online Personas
The idea of “identity” is an interesting subject. In his book A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle talks quite a bit about how people who have no true sense of identity often “roleplay” an identity. This can give them a false sense of identity for a while, by providing a convenient template to use with a particular set of expectations and rules of conduct. Culture, and people around us, often help reinforce those expectations. But roleplaying—wearing a mask—causes problems, because that mask is not genuine. Sooner or later either you will no longer be required for the role, or you’ll outgrow the mask.53
Do Looks = Identity, Especially If You’re Female?
Some people tie up their entire identity in their outward appearance. I believe the emphasis on appearance and the constant feedback loop might be why so many people are depressed nowadays. Some beautiful people are depressed because they actually feel an emptiness inside, no matter how many positive comments they get, because of this role as a beautiful object that they’re expected to play. Some people with banal looks feel empty because nobody says anything positive about the way they look. It’s all kinda crazy, right?
Yes, it is well known that, for women especially, looks are one of the major factors that others evaluate. Many studies show that, while both women and men understand the importance of appearance for social functioning, women are judged more by their looks than men are, in almost all spheres of life.54
Often, many of the other desirable attributes in a woman, like intelligence, sociability, personality, and sense of humor, fall by the wayside. One of the strange aspects of Instagram is it can really only indicate one of those attributes: appearance. This focus magnifies the importance of that single attribute more than ever before.
Studies have shown that women between the ages of 16 and 25 typically spend up to 5 hours per week taking selfies and sharing them on social media. Individuals who want to boost their self-esteem upload more photos.55
The research also shows that women (rather than men) tend to be more motivated to create a positive self-presentation on their photos, so they exhibit more photo-enhancement behaviors.56,57 Social media has provided yet another platform for women to strut their stuff, and for others to judge them based on it.
Selfie Made Men: Showing off Wealth on Instagram in India
The props may look slightly different, but men are not immune either. There is no real reason to pick out India as an example because every country and culture has its own particular social media quirks. However, this example does highlight that there is no universal selfie-posting behavior across the diaspora of the world.
And yes, there are many female models on Instagram in India as well, but they are not nearly as intriguing of a case study as the following examples. I chose these examples because I think they illustrate the phenomenon of showing off wealth through physical objects and commodities, especially expensive ones, quite well.
I often wonder about the thought process people use when creating an Instagram account. In this case, this guy must have been thinking, “Hmmmm, well, my grandmother had this classic saying of ‘It’s Lavish Bitch’ so let’s see if @itslavishbitch is already taken.”
The doors go like this.
I must admit that I am not cool enough to understand his intrepid description of “Ball so hard haters start following you.” Note that I added the period, as I don’t want to misquote wise words from the Oracle of Delhi.
Hey, you have a great Saturday too there, el guapo.
Yes, we see these kinds of photos that men take in most countries. From what I’ve observed, in India, it’s off the charts. And because some of the most popular people do it and play this role, millions of Indian men copycat this behavior, which graduates the phenomenon into mass delusional behavior, a topic I cover in some length soon.
In any species, there is a natural “preening” that happens with both sexes during their reproductive lives. In a way, we are not too different from bowerbirds, who decorate their mating-nest with as many bright blue objects as possible. They even collect those bright blue bottle caps from water bottles. Female bowerbirds are attracted to the male that amassess the largest collection of blue stuff, because it is an indication of a resourceful DNA. Then, they, too, can have awesome bottle-cap collecting babies.
In a way, Instagram has become a lot like a mating nest for humans. The more they can show off, the better mates they can attract. Whether it’s sexy gym photos from women or conspicuous consumption photos from men it’s almost understandable. This behavior is also the product, however, of a materialistic, superficial culture, where companies and brands use advertising to convince everyone that their lives will be better if they are rich, beautiful, and own well-regarded products.
Instagram Selfies
A young woman takes a selfie in Beijing, China.
In an email exchange I had with photographer Thomas Hawk, he waxed poetic about the nature of selfies. He philosophizes, “Are they doing it to create art? Usually not. Usually, they are doing it to garner attention, and it’s probably destructive.”
I also talked to Digital Influencer Lauren Bath (@laurenepbath) about the subject of selfies, and she had quite a reflective response:
Over my years of working with different Influencers and reading anything I can get my hands on the topic, I’ve seen and heard a thing or two. The worst is when you see a beautiful girl taking photos of herself (or having someone else take them) only for her to practically cry when reviewing the shots, loudly proclaiming how fat or ugly they are. Then eventually she’ll pick the best, most flattering shot to post accompanied by an upbeat caption. To me, it’s a tragedy.
I’ve always tried to live my life (online and offline) avoiding the comparison to others, but it’s taken a lot of maturity, a lot of work on myself, and a lot of experience to get to where I am. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have bad days on the ‘gram,’ days where I feel like I don’t stack up, that I’m too old and too ugly to be in this profession. FYI, I’m 38, I have an incredible career, and I’m beautiful! So why does it make me feel like this? And if I feel like this, how do the masses feel?
Now, you might think I will be very negative in this section on selfies, and you’re right. Well, you are kind of right. There are two varieties of Instagram selfies. One is harmless. The other is incredibly annoying, and that’s the one I’m negative about. The difference can sometimes be quite subtle because it’s all about intention. However, like United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in 1964, “I know it when I see it.”
The first type of selfie, the harmless type, is the one that is created out of sheer joy and pure interest in telling your story. For example, friends may be heading out to have some margaritas and they all squeeze in for a quick one. That’s cool. This is a “fun, casual selfie” that shows what you’re doing, without ego or artifice. I’m not saying all selfies are bad—these ones certainly are not.
My philosopher friend Jason Silva is never short of words for making things sound rather dramatic, and, in this case, he agreed with me that some selfies can be good. “As far as the meaning of the selfie: I think the selfie is loaded with metaphysical and philosophical significance,” he told me over email. “The selfie is an affirmation of our own existence. It is the digital equivalent of carving our name on the tree. It is a way of saying that WE ARE HERE. It is an affront against impermanence and death. It is a way of raging against the dying of the light.” So yeah, he’s pretty bullish on them it seems.
However, I’m a little in disagreement with him when I see the
deluge of selfies that don’t seem to reach his level of universal ecstasy. That’s where the second type of selfie comes in.
The second type of selfie, which seems to serve narcissistic purposes, occurs when the selfie-takers take about 100 photos, spend 10 minutes in silence picking the best, and then add the perfect filter that smooths their skin and enhances their other bits so all their other friends who weren’t there have no choice but to succumb to their fabulousness.
This comment-inviting selfie pose has become such an unoriginal trope that it was lampooned in a recent article on Fstoppers.58
Selfies: Harmful to the Psyches of Young People
Selfies are ubiquitous. Ever since the infamous Ellen DeGeneres selfie a few years ago, where she took a photo with several of her friends at the Oscars, anyone with a mobile phone feels empowered to explore this new mode of self-portraiture.
However, is it possible that we’ve gone too far? In this chapter, I explore the idea that selfies might, in some cases, do more harm than good, especially if taken for the wrong reasons.
Travel Influencer Liz Carlson (@youngadventuress) agreed that selfies can lead to negative outcomes. She told me over email, “I think it’s really damaging. It’s not real, it’s selling a fake lifestyle that isn’t attainable. With Instagram being a popular platform with younger people, I think it sets an impossible standard for beauty, travel, etc. that can never be achieved. You inevitably begin comparing yourself to people that aren’t even real. How can that not be damaging to anyone, let alone teens or kids?”
There was a notable study that just came out of the psychology departments of York University and Flinders University on the effects of selfies on the mental well-being of young women specifically. The researchers began by citing other studies that confirm what most of us already suspect:
Social media presents innumerable idealized images of thin, lean/tone, beautiful, Photoshopped women, and the “thin ideal” and “athletic ideal” are displayed as a normal, desirable, and attainable body type for every woman59,60,61
Furthermore, the Internet and social media have been found to promote thinness, dieting behavior, and weight loss through idealized images of “perfect” women 62
Women who use social media often internalize the “thin ideal,” causing them to strive for an unrealistic, unnatural standard of beauty and to feel ashamed when they are unable to achieve it63,64,65
So, based on the data collected, they ran a scientific study on selfies to see what effects it had on the psyches of women between the ages of 16 and 29. I’ve included some highlights from their paper, entitled ‘Selfie’ harm: Effects on mood and body image in young women.66
The research team split the group three ways:
Group A– Untouched Selfie: This group of young women got to take just one selfie, but it must remain untouched before uploading.
Group B– Retouched Selfie: This lucky group of gals got to take several photos, choose their favorite, and then retouch it using basic mobile app software.
Group C– Control: These people did not take selfies, but instead read articles that had nothing to do with appearance.
Interesting study, right? Here’s what the researchers found:
After testing, you can see the results of the three groups. There is a sizable increase in anxiety in the two groups that took selfies. The young women who did not retouch their photo had the most anxiety. The control group had lesser levels of anxiety.
It’s not surprising that when anxiety goes up confidence goes down for the Untouched Selfie and the Retouched Selfie groups. The control group went down a little in feelings of confidence too, but it’s the variance among the three groups that are noteworthy.
Last, we see a dramatic dip in these young women’s feelings of attractiveness after posting the selfie. The act of posting a selfie, even when she has some control over it, leads to women feeling less attractive than before posting.
This study is clear in demonstrating how posting selfies is harmful to young women. It’s interesting to note that being able to retouch their own photo did not result in feeling significantly better about themselves. What’s even more troubling though is that if you remember, an earlier study found that individuals who want to boost their self-esteem upload more photos.67 This could inadvertently lead to a dangerous downward spiral of mood and self-esteem for these young women.
The selfies used in this study were only of the young woman’s face and did not include her body. The researchers speculate that if the selfie tests were to include her body, the results might be even more drastic than you see below. (Speculating is generally frowned upon in the research world, so they may have to do that follow up study for comparison.)
Our friend, photographer Thomas Hawk, weighed in on selfies. He said, “I think when people focus too much on self, to the point where kids are being killed by trying to take more and more daring selfies on top of electrical towers, or when young women must get skinnier and skinnier because it produces more likes, or when people ignore more important things to focus too much attention on a network, they can be harmful and unhealthy.”
Remember our two categories of selfies that we talked about above—the harmless, and the harmful? I’ve gone a little further here and loosely defined some buckets, or types, of selfies to help us explore this not-so-subtle art form, and I can show you what I mean.
Dangerous Selfies
2015 was the first year in recorded history where more people died while taking selfies than were killed by sharks.68 Since then, sharks have shown no signs of dieting, but the number of selfie deaths has increased year-on-year.69
This kind of nonsense happens way too often. It’s a side-effect of this mass delusion that encourages social media users to go to such extreme lengths to show people how awesome their lives are. If you’re happy that you’ve just gotten married, then you already know it, so then it seems unnecessary and delusional to have to tell the world about it. Source: PetaPixel
Wikipedia has a page that keeps track of the increasing number of selfie deaths, including the gruesome and sad details. Source: Wikipedia
The next candidate for Mom of the Year is this woman, who took the time to take a selfie with her sick baby before heading to urgent care. Obviously, this post is all about the mom and not about the daughter at all, but that’s how tricky the ego can be. No doubt her comments had the predictable “Thoughts and Prayers” responses, which are materially useless. Source: reddit
What better time to take a selfie than when on a dangerous highway? Source: reddit
It’s sad that people go take these photos just to copy other people, and sometimes they die.
Ridiculous Selfies
Many people have begun to take the selfie craze to the next level. To the casual observer, many of these people have achieved an impressive level of insanity.
Here’s Hillary Clinton. What’s wrong with people nowadays? This is what I am getting at as we get into the topic of mass delusional behavior. I mean, couldn’t they just tell their friends they saw Hillary? Do they need to prove it with a photo? They aren’t even looking at her. Source: CNN
A group of women surrounding James Franco and desperately trying to get a selfie with him. Source: reddit
This guide explaining the best way to pose for a selfie was helpfully included with the purchase of some leggings. Source: reddit
Some people use selfies to promote their causes. There is more in another chapter about how social media algorithms are pushing opposite sides of controversial issues even further apart. But for now, I just like how you can see the baby’s hand on her mother’s shoulder with the Confederate flag blazing in the background. Source: reddit
Queen Elizabeth is surely very confused by this behavior, and those around her don’t look too pleased. This kid wasn’t happy with this selfie, so he chased her down for another. Source: Daily Mail
You know what they say, “If at first you don’t succ
eed, selfie, selfie again.” I’m sure the Queen was silently thinking, “WTF,” but in a very proper British accent. Source: Daily Mail
Look-At-My-Amazing-Life Selfies
Yep, we all know ‘em. These are the sorts of selfies meant to portray the perfection that only the selfie-takers seem to be able to achieve. Most of these selfies actually take quite a bit of work, planning, and staging. And it’s clear that many of them are absolutely dripping with ego.
Here’s @theposhpt, showing us one of his bad angles. By the way, this charmer was one of the 5,000+ people that a bot followed when it absconded with my account. I’m now following him for his steady stream of manimal.
He gets dressed here, tagging his photo with Dolce & Gabbana to illustrate he really is the full package.
It is important to reflect on the most important things in life. It’s also important to keep your travel documents warm.
Under the Influence- How to Fake Your Way Into Getting Rich on Instagram Page 15