“You’re just in time for dinner!” one roared. “I hope you like meatballs and earthworms!”
Nancy slammed the door. “No Nadine in there,” she said nervously. “Thank goodness.”
The girls heard music behind the next door. George pulled it open and they peered inside. A werewolf smiled at them from behind a piano. His hairy fingers flew across the keys as he sang, “Bluuuue Moooon!”
George slammed the door shut. “This place is too weird,” she said with a shudder. “Where is Nadine, anyway?”
“Maybe Dr. Funk-n-Stine has her!” Bess cried. “Maybe he’s doing some weird experiments on her in a laboratory!”
“But where is Dr. Funk-n-Stine?” Nancy asked.
CREEEEAK! The girls spun around. The suit of armor’s arm clanked as it pointed to one more door.
“Th-th-thanks!” Nancy stammered.
A white mist floated out from beneath the door. Bess pulled the door open. The mist swirled around their feet as they walked inside.
“Where are we?” asked Bess.
Nancy held her breath as she looked around. They were in another laboratory. This one had stone walls and all kinds of machines crackling with electricity. On a shelf stood glass jars filled with stuff that looked like brains. A raven sat perched inside a cage squawking, “Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore.”
“What’s that for?” Bess asked. She pointed to a long table in the middle of the room. Next to it was a lever.
“That reminds me of a movie I saw,” said George.
“What movie?” Nancy asked.
“Frankenstein,” George replied. “It was about a mad scientist who built a monster right in his lab!”
George hopped up on the table. She lay down flat.
“George!” Nancy said. “Don’t touch anything—”
“The monster was dead at first,” George said. “But then Dr. Frankenstein pulled a lever. And the table rose all the way to the ceiling.”
“You mean like this?” Bess asked. She grabbed the lever and pulled it all the way back.
The table and George began to rise.
“Not funny, Bess!” George called down. “You can stop this thing now.”
The table rose higher and higher—too high for George to jump. Bess gripped the lever with all her might.
“I can’t stop it!” Bess cried. “It’s stuck!”
Chapter Nine
Write Away
Nancy and Bess both grabbed the lever and pulled hard. But it was no use. The lever didn’t budge!
“Get me down!” George shouted.
Suddenly another pair of hands grabbed the lever. Nancy spun around. It was Dr. Funk-n-Stine!
Nancy and Bess stepped aside as Dr. Funk-n-Stine pulled the lever back. The table began to drop slowly.
“Sorry,” George said, hopping off the table.
“It’s not your fault,” Dr. Funk-n-Stine said. “If my boss found out I left this room, I’d be toast!”
“Ghost?” Bess gasped.
“Not ghost—toast!” Dr. Funk-n-Stine said. He unwrapped a piece of licorice gum and popped it into his mouth.
“Then you’re not a ghost?” George asked.
“Nope,” Dr. Funk-n-Stine replied. “My career may be dead—but not me.”
“But your website said you went to the Great Beyond,” Nancy said.
“And I did!” Dr. Funk-n-Stine said with a smile. “Welcome to the Great Beyond Haunted Halloween House!” Then he leaned over and whispered, “And it’s not really haunted.”
Nancy smiled. Dr. Funk-n-Stine had just answered a very important question. But she still had more.
“Why did Dudley’s studio look like your Groovy Mad Lab?” Nancy asked. “Are you having a Halloween party?”
Dr. Funk-n-Stine shook his head. “The station decided to have a Dr. Funk-n-Stine reunion show,” he said. “I knew I’d be back someday.”
“Is that why we heard your music?” asked George.
“Probably,” Dr. Funk-n-Stine said. “I was trying out my old music tapes in the back.”
Nancy, Bess, and George traded smiles.
“So that’s why all those old clothes were in that room,” Nancy said. “And why those test tubes fizzled over last Saturday.”
“What test tubes?” Dr. Funk-n-Stine asked. “I wasn’t at the TV station last Saturday.”
Nancy stared at Dr. Funk-n-Stine. “You weren’t?” she asked. “Then how . . . what . . . ?”
George grabbed Nancy’s arm. “We’d better go,” she said. “We have to be home before it gets dark, remember?”
Bess twirled on her toe. “Can you guess what we’re all dressed up as, Dr. Funk-n-Stine?” she asked.
“Sure!” Dr. Funk-n-Stine said. “I see a ballerina, a dragon, and . . . a recycling machine!”
George sighed. “I’m a robot.”
The girls thanked Dr. Funk-n-Stine for his help. Then they walked out of the lab and into the hall.
“So Dr. Funk-n-Stine isn’t a ghost!” Bess declared.
The girls stopped short at the sound of a scream.
When Nancy whirled around, she saw Nadine running down the hall in her old-fashioned dress.
“Help!” Nadine shouted. “I’ve been bitten by a vampire!”
“Hi, Nadine,” said Nancy.
Nadine stopped running. “Oh . . . hi,” she said.
“What are you doing here?” George asked.
“I won a screaming contest at the mall last week,” Nadine answered. “The prize was a chance to work at the Great Beyond.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Bess asked.
“I had to keep it a secret,” Nadine said with a shrug. “Or no one would be scared when they saw me.”
“We were scared, but not anymore,” Nancy said. “Dr. Funk-n-Stine told us all about the Great Beyond.”
“It’s not that great,” Nadine whispered. “Truth . . . I’d rather be trick-or-treating.”
Nancy, Bess, and George dodged dancing skeletons, falling cobwebs, and a zombie cheerleader as they made their way to the main door. They even ran into Kevin and his mom and some other classmates.
When they were finally outside, Bess sighed with relief. “Now we know Dr. Funk-n-Stine is not a ghost!” she said.
“But we still don’t know why those beakers bubbled,” Nancy said. “Or who wrote the formula that disappeared. Or who messed up Dudley’s experiments last Friday.”
“Maybe we’ll never know,” George said. She knelt down to tie her sneaker lace. Suddenly her eyes widened.
“What’s wrong?” said Bess.
“Do you remember that Dudley and Kirby both signed my sneaker?” George asked.
“Sure,” Nancy said.
George pointed to her right sneaker. “Dudley’s autograph is still here,” she said. “But Kirby’s autograph . . . has disappeared!”
Chapter Ten
Monster Bash!
Nancy looked to see where George was pointing. Sure enough, Kirby’s autograph was no longer where he’d written it.
“It disappeared just like the science formula disappeared,” said George. “How did that happen?”
“Kirby must have used a pen with disappearing ink,” Bess figured.
Nancy remembered when Kirby signed George’s sneaker. He had used his own pen.
“You guys,” Nancy said slowly, “do you think Kirby wrote his autograph and the science formula?”
“Why would Kirby write a science formula?” Bess wondered. “It’s not like he works on experiments.”
“Maybe he does,” George said. “Remember the day Kirby’s face was covered with gray smudges? And his hair was sticking up like a porcupine’s?”
“Yes, so?” Nancy asked.
“Static electricity makes hair stand up,” George explained. “Maybe Kirby was doing his own experiments.”
“But it’s Dudley’s show, not his,” Bess pointed out.
“Kirby said he wants his own show someday,”
Nancy remembered. “He could have been practicing or something.”
“No wonder his face was dirty.” Bess giggled. “He must have been making a huge mess!”
Mess?
The girls stared at one another as it suddenly clicked. “Dudley’s messed-up science experiments!” they chimed together.
Nancy wasn’t sure if Kirby worked on Dudley’s experiments too. But she was determined to find out!
“Let’s go back to the TV station after school tomorrow,” Nancy suggested. “But this time we won’t look for ghosts. We’ll look for Kirby Kessler.”
“I can’t believe you put jellybeans in your tuna sandwich today, George,” called Bess from her bike.
“What else am I going to do with all the candy I got last night?” George called back.
Nancy pedaled her bike behind her friends. It was Wednesday afternoon. As soon as school ended, the girls had run home for their bikes. Then they rode alongside Hannah on her bike to the TV station.
“I’ll stay outside and watch your bikes,” Hannah offered. “But don’t be too long. You have homework to do.”
The Clue Crew burst through the door of the TV station. When Beatrice the guard saw them, she groaned under her breath. “Now what?” she asked.
Nancy saw Dudley passing through the lobby. “Hi, Dudley,” she called. “We were at your show last Friday.”
“Oh, that show.” Dudley groaned. “I still don’t know why everything went wrong.”
“We think we do,” said Nancy. “That’s why we’d like to see Kirby Kessler.”
“I’ve been looking for Kirby myself,” Dudley told the girls. “But I think I know how we can find him.”
The girls followed Dudley through a door. Inside a dark room were computers, a switchboard, and a whole wall covered with TV monitors.
“This is the control room,” Dudley explained. He smiled at a woman sitting behind the switchboard. “And this is Claudia, the assistant director. Claudia, turn on the studio monitors, please.”
Claudia flipped some switches. A picture of a different studio appeared on each of the monitors. Kirby was not inside any of them.
“One more,” said Claudia. She flipped another switch. The set for a cooking show appeared on the last monitor.
“There’s Kirby!” George said.
Kirby was standing behind a counter. He held up two bottles, looked straight into the camera, and said, “Yo! Give it up for me—Kirby the Science Kid!”
“He’s doing his own show!” gasped Claudia.
Kirby poured a white powder into a bottle. “Today we’re making an awesome carbon dioxide gas!” he announced.
“He’s pouring in too much,” Dudley exclaimed. “It’s going to blow!”
Dudley and the girls shot out of the control room and raced down the hall. But as they burst into the studio—
BOOM! FIZZZZZ! Everyone jumped as a small white cloud puffed out of the bottle.
“Pee-ew!” Nancy said, squeezing her nose.
“What a stink!” George declared.
“What are you doing, Kirby?” said Dudley. “You’re not allowed to touch anything unless you’re helping me.”
“That’s the problem.” Kirby sighed. “I’m tired of being second banana. When I have my own show, I’m going to be the star!”
He brushed some powder off his sleeve. “I guess I just need a little more practice,” he said.
“Did you ever practice on Dudley’s experiments, Kirby?” Nancy demanded.
“Like last Friday?” George added.
“What are you, some kind of detectives?” asked Kirby.
“The best!” Bess said with a smile.
“Then you’d better tell them the truth, Kirby,” Dudley said. “Go ahead.”
Kirby heaved a big sigh. “Okay,” he said. “I snuck into the studio before the show started so I could try out those experiments.”
Kirby explained how he left the lid off the bat house after he fed them. And how he replaced the egg he cracked with a raw one. And how he refilled the bottles with too much vinegar and baking soda.
“They were accidents,” Kirby said. “But not all my experiments are duds. I whipped up my own disappearing ink formula, and it really works!”
Kirby held up his pen.
“We know all about it,” said Nancy.
The girls were about to present the note and the sneaker when Dudley grabbed the pen from Kirby’s hand.
“Disappearing ink, huh?” Dudley said. “How would you like to make some on my show next week, Kirby?”
“Wow! It’s a deal,” Kirby exclaimed.
“Wait a minute, Dudley,” George said with a frown. “Our class couldn’t be on your Halloween show, thanks to Kirby.”
“Sorry,” Kirby said.
“Can we come back for another show?” Bess asked.
Dudley scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I have a better idea,” he said. “This guy named Dr. Funk-n-Stine needs an audience of kids for his show. Ever hear of him?”
“Does this answer your question?” Nancy asked. She turned to her friends and they began to sing: “Get up, get groooovy!”
“I guess that means yes!” Dudley laughed.
A few weeks later Mrs. Ramirez’s third-grade class was back at WRIV-TV. But this time they weren’t wearing their Halloween costumes. They had on cool clothes from the 1970s!
The girls’ platform shoes clunked as they danced to the beat of Dr. Funk-n-Stine’s Groovy Mad Lab.
“I told you I didn’t believe in ghosts!” Nancy shouted over the music. “Well . . . most of the time.”
Shelby and Deirdre danced over. Both girls were wearing tie-dyed dresses with wide sleeves.
“Listen to this, you guys,” Shelby said. She turned to Deirdre and said, “Go ahead. Spill.”
“Okay, so Dudley is a real scientist,” Deirdre admitted. “But Dr. Funk-n-Stine is totally cool.”
“You mean groovy!” George said.
“Whatever,” Deirdre sang as she danced away.
“Does this mean the Dudley the Science Dude Fan Club is a go?” Nancy asked Shelby.
Shelby shook her head. “I have a new favorite TV star,” she answered. She nodded at Dr. Funk-n-Stine, who was pouring some ingredients into test tubes. “He may look a little creepy, but he’s the real deal!”
A TV camera rolled past Henderson and Marcy as they pretended to dance like space aliens.
“I’m glad our class is finally on TV,” Bess said. “And I’m glad the Clue Crew solved another case.”
“You really are great detectives,” Shelby said. “How do you do it?”
“I guess we have mysteries down to a science,” Nancy replied with a smile.
George wiggled her fingers and laughed. “You mean mad science!” she said.
IT’S A STRING THING!
(String of Ghosts or Jack-O’-Lanterns)
It’s no mystery that Halloween is more fun with cool decorations—like a string of ghosts or smiling pumpkins to hang across your room or window. Not only are they fun to make, they’re as easy as pie . . . pumpkin pie!
You Will Need:
Construction paper (orange and black for pumpkins, white and black for ghosts)
Crayons or markers
Scissors
Glue, tape, or staples
A long piece of green or black yarn or string
On Your Mark . . .
Get Set . . . Ghost!
Draw a ghost on white paper, or a pumpkin on orange paper. Don’t forget to draw a long stem on the top. The stems will be folded over later when it’s time to hang up your ghosts or pumpkins.
Cut out your ghost or pumpkin. Use black paper to make eyes, a nose, and a mouth. Or use your crayons or markers to draw them on.
Fold the ghost’s stem all the way back. Fold the pumpkin’s stem halfway back. Now hook the ghost or pumpkin onto a long string or yarn (black yarn for ghost, green yarn for pumpkin).
Tape, glue, or staple the
back of the stem to hold it in place.
Add more ghosts and pumpkins in all shapes and sizes—until you’re ready to string up your creepy creation!
More Ideas: Mix up ghosts and pumpkins on the same string. Or go wild with black cats or bats. When it comes to Halloween, THE MORE THE SCARIER!
The Halloween Hoax Page 4