Chapter 24
Confess
(Olivia)
Driving to school with Mason and Evie is torture. Mason at least had the decency to sit in the back today. Evie tried to come talk to me last night about everything that happened, but I couldn’t stand the idea of reliving it one more time and refused to let her in. She sits beside me quietly as we pull into the parking lot.
As I kill the engine, Evie looks over at me as says, “Come find me if you need me today, okay?”
All I can do is nod. She slips out of the car, and I follow quickly, desperate to get away from Mason. He keeps his distance as I make my way to my locker. Mom offered to let me skip school today and rest up, but I have a research paper to turn in. In all honesty, though, I didn’t want to stay because I knew Mason would stay as well and the idea of being trapped in the house with him all day is a million times worse than showing up at school looking like I got in a bar fight.
As I step into the building, it’s acutely obvious that my makeup isn’t doing nearly enough to hide the black eye or split lip. Furtive glances dart at me as I walk down the hallway. I’m sure they’re all wondering, but I don’t care to fill them in. I spot my locker and make a beeline for it. I’m yanking open the door when Hayden slides up next to me.
“Hey,” I say.
He smiles. “That’s all I get? A hey?”
“Sorry,” I say with a half-smile—the half that doesn’t hurt to move. “Not feeling like my usual peppy self today.”
“You have a usual peppy self?” Hayden asks. “Why have I never seen it?”
I roll my eyes, amazed at his ability to cheer me up. “Okay, I may not have a peppy side, but I’m certainly feeling worse than my usual quiet, loner self. How’s that?”
“Much more accurate,” he laughs.
Hayden’s fingers brush along my cheek carefully. I try not to wince, but even breathing on that side of my face hurts. His fingers slide down to my chin. Thankfully he doesn’t get too close to my lip. His mouth turns down. “You look even worse than last night.”
“Thanks, that makes me feel better,” I grouch. “You do too, by the way.”
He grins. “I know.”
“How’s your side?” I ask. I remember the attacker punching him repeatedly in that area.
Hayden lifts the edge of his shirt and I gasp at the mottled bruises covering nearly half his stomach. Several of the students around us stop and stare. “Oh my gosh, Hayden! That looks terrible!”
“Yeah, I won’t be playing basketball for a few weeks, which I’m sure you’re devastated about, but I’ll be fine.” He drops his shirt back down and leans against the lockers. I can see him wince at the movement.
“I feel so terrible about last night. It was my fault you were there so late. If you hadn’t been there trying to make me feel better …”
“If I hadn’t been there you may have gotten hurt a lot worse, or taken, or… or other things I’d rather not think about,” Hayden finishes. He grabs my hand and pulls me over to him. “But if you’re feeling guilty, you can always make it up to me by having lunch with me today, and every day.”
“Lunch?” I stare at him. How is he being so calm about all of this? “Uh, sure. Okay.”
Hayden grins and pushes away from the lockers carefully. “See you at lunch then.”
The final bell rings a moment later and the hallways begin to clear. I shuffle off to my first class in a daze. I hold the door open for Mason out of habit when I reach class, and nearly jump out of my shoes when I feel him slip in past me. I don’t look at him, though.
I keep my eyes squarely in front of me as I walk to my desk. I can still see Mason parking himself on the window sill like he usually does from the corner of my eye, but I refuse to acknowledge him. I’m relieved when he doesn’t try to talk to me.
All morning he follows me around like a ghost. We don’t speak to each other. I pretend I can’t see him anymore than anyone else, but his eyes never leave me. It’s honestly the first time I can say having Mason near me makes me uncomfortable. And that’s underneath the anger and hostility I’m still carrying around against him, too. Needless to say, I am completely drained by the time lunch finally arrives.
I dump everything in my locker and practically run for the cafeteria in an effort to escape Mason. I know he’s not far behind, but halfway there he backs off a bit and gives me some space. As I round the corner to the cafeteria, I spot Robin approaching the door as well. She freezes, eyes wide before walking over to me.
The last thing I want to do right now is talk to Robin. I do my best to make that obvious by turning away from her, but she isn’t deterred. “Olivia, are you okay?” she asks. “I heard about what happened.”
Spinning around to face her, I say, “I have nothing to say to you after what you’ve done.”
“What I’ve done?” Robin asks. “Look, Olivia, it wasn’t my idea. I told Mason …”
“I don’t care what you told him or who’s idea it was. I don’t want to see either of you. Keep him away from me. That’s what you’re good at.”
Stalking away from her, I’m so angry I am tempted to pick up a chair and throw it at a wall. Luckily, I spot Hayden sitting at a table on the opposite side of the cafeteria from where I usually sit with Mason and head in that direction. I collapse into a chair next to him with no food and a scowl that seems to be on its way to becoming permanent.
“Everything okay?” Hayden asks.
I want to snap at him for asking such a stupid question, but I don’t. I watch as Mason and Robin sit down at our usual table. My eyes narrow. I want to scream when Robin puts her hand in Mason’s. They start talking a few minutes later and I look away.
“I’m sorry, Hayden,” I say, “I’m not very good company again today.”
“Well, it would be hard to have a worse day than yesterday, so you can at least feel good about that.” He pops a fry into his mouth and looks at me with a knowing expression.
Tired of feeling like crap, I decide to ignore Robin and Mason completely and focus on Hayden, who has been nothing but nice to me—pretty heroic actually—and force myself to be in a better mood.
“Not all of yesterday was horrible,” I say. “I was having fun before that psycho tried to grab me.”
“So was I,” Hayden says. “I think we should do it again.”
Cocking an eyebrow at him, I say, “I thought you were grounded from basketball for the time being.”
“True. I guess we should go see a movie then.”
Hayden is so sweet, but the idea of going out on a date with him makes me feel… weird. I don’t know what to think. Being furious at Mason doesn’t change the fact that he has been my best friend for twelve years or that I am in love with him. I want him more than anything in this world or his.
But no one has ever hurt me as badly as he did.
“Sure,” I say quietly. “When?”
“Friday night?”
“Um, okay.” Given my glaring lack of extracurricular activities—sports especially—I’m pretty sure I’m free. “Do you have a movie in mind?”
Hayden shakes his head. He leans closer to me, his hand coming up to brush against my uninjured cheek. My heart stutters a moment, but whether in fear or something else I don’t know. He smiles as he says, “Why don’t you choose?”
I really couldn’t even tell him a single movie at the theaters right now. Needing some space and a moment to think, I turn to grab my phone so I can check the movie listings. Without meaning to, I elbow Hayden in the side. I don’t get him very hard, but it’s on his injured side and he groans. I gasp and spin back around more carefully.
“Hayden, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay,” he says after taking a deep breath. He looks anything but fine.
Gently, my hand presses to his abdomen where I elbowed him, as if it does any good to protect that area now. His heart is beating so rapidly, I
can feel it echoing through his whole body. Did I hurt him that bad?
I look up and find him staring down at me with a look that is not filled with pain, but with something else entirely. His hand covers mine gently and slowly pulls it north to his chest where he curls his fingers around mine and simply holds onto me.
“Can I confess something?” he asks.
“You lied about how bad I hurt you?” I guess.
He shakes his head with a chuckle.
“Then what?”
“I’ve wanted to ask you out since sixth grade.”
Honestly surprised, I ask, “Really?”
He nods.
“Then why didn’t you?” I ask not so much because I would have jumped at the chance anymore more back then than I did today, but more out of curiosity.
“I wasn’t sure you even knew who I was. I didn’t think you were interested. You always seemed to be, I don’t know… like you were happy just being on your own. You never talked to me unless I asked you a question about one of our classes.”
I always knew people thought I was a little strange, but it’s embarrassing to hear how out of it I have been. “It wasn’t anything personal,” I say. “I did know who you were. I was like that with everyone, though.”
“Well, I hope that won’t be the case anymore, because I actually enjoy talking to you.”
Smiling, I say, “I like talking to you, too.”
And surprisingly enough, it’s true.
Hayden finally releases my hand and pulls out his phone so he can bring up the movie listings for the nearest theater. I steal a French fry from his tray while he scans the movies. I don’t really care what we watch. I’m not even totally sure if I want to go to a movie with Hayden. I do know that he makes me feel better about my life and the lousy turns it has taken recently, and for now that is enough.
“Comedy?” Hayden asks.
“Sure.”
“Seven o’clock?”
I nod.
“Is it okay if I pick you up, or would you rather drive separately?”
I don’t answer right away. Driving separately would give me a getaway car if I got desperate and wanted to bail. Letting him pick me up will force me to sit through the entire movie, ride to and from the theater with him, rely on him. The idea of that scares me at first, but then I think it might be nice to rely on someone else… for a little while.
“You can pick me up, if you don’t mind.”
Hayden attempts to put his arm around my shoulders, but only moves his arm a few inches before thinking better of it and takes my hand instead. “I don’t mind at all,” he says.
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