Part of me argues that I should just brush her off. I want to walk away and not let myself feel any sympathy for Mason. A much smaller, infinitely more fragile part of me is begging for any shred of hope I can find.
“The truth?” My voice is weak and trembling.
Nodding, Evie looks up at me. “He said… he said he was trying to protect you the only way he knew how. I don’t know what he meant by that. He seemed to think it would be better if he told you himself.”
Evie touches my arm gently. “He told me it was the worst mistake he’s ever made and when you’re ready, he’ll explain everything.”
“Protect me?” I choke out. My lungs constrict, refusing to take in air. “But he… he kissed me, and not just a peck on the cheek. He kissed me. The kind of kiss I will never, ever forget. The kind that spawns an addiction with one touch. It was a kiss that I can’t get out of my mind no matter how hard I try!”
My hands press against my face, holding hostage emotions and tears alike. I refuse to cry over Mason again. I refuse!
“And then he walked away like it never happened, like it meant nothing,” I whisper. “Does he not understand how much that hurt?”
“He does now,” Evie says, “but I don’t think he did at the time.”
The fire I felt in that instant reignites as I think about Mason’s lips pressing hungrily to mine. Terrible heat spreads through my body. I know he felt it, too. It wasn’t just me.
“How could he not know?” I ask quietly.
Evie’s eyes slip past me to Dad and Mason. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but her expression flashes between a smile and a frown. Her face echoes the turmoil she must be feeling. When she looks up at me, her eyes are filled with careful determination.
“You know Mason is in love with you, right?” she asks.
My face scrunches. “He was, maybe.”
Evie shakes her head. “There’s no maybe, no was. He is in love with you. Desperately.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t want to contradict her, because I want it to be true so badly, but I just don’t know if it is anymore.
“Are you in love with Mason?” Evie asks.
Maybe saying no out loud will make this less painful. Maybe it will make it true. It’s a foolish hope. “Yes,” I say, almost a whisper.
“Does Mason know that?” Evie asks.
I wrinkle my nose at her, not because I think she’s being a snot, but because I realize I don’t know the answer to that question. Evie shakes her head slowly.
“Mason said something to me today. He said he’s spent so much time knowing you don’t love him the way he loves you that he thought it would be easy for you to forget one kiss and move on so you could be safe.” She holds up her hands apologetically. “I don’t know what he meant about being safe, but you’re lying to yourself if you think the rest of it isn’t true.”
“But …” My voice trails off.
“Maybe things between you two have been inching closer to something more physical, but you’ve never given him reason to think he’d break your heart if he backed off. Sure you guys kissed, and even if it was as amazing as you make it sound, you ran away from him, Olivia.”
My throat tightens painfully. I look over at Mason feeling like I suddenly can’t breathe. My eyes dart back to Evie.
“I don’t know what Mason found out, but whatever it was, it convinced him that you’d be better off without him. The way you’ve acted toward him made him believe you’d be able to brush it off and get on with life. With Hayden, apparently,” Evie says, grumbling that last part.
“I just… things just started to change and I… he didn’t give me time, I mean …” A million thoughts jumble in my head and only gibberish comes out.
Sitting back in her chair, Evie reaches out a hand and takes mine in hers. “I know you’re hurt, but you know Mason better than anyone else. Does all but confessing his love for you and then skipping off into the sunset with Robin really sound like something he would do?”
“But he did,” I argue.
Evie gives me a stern look.
“No,” I say, “it doesn’t sound like Mason.”
Squeezing my hand, Evie says, “Then I think you should talk to Mason and find out what’s really been going on.”
The anger and pain I have been keeping close company with the last few days begins to fade. Slowly, it is replaced by concern. “Did he give you any hint about why he did this?”
Evie shakes her head. “All he said was that he was trying to protect you.”
A terrible thought occurs to me and my fingers strangle Evie’s. “What if he knows something bad is going to happen to him? What if he’s trying to distance himself from me?” Dread sinks into the very deepest parts of my soul. “Evie, what if he dreamed something?”
“Has he had any nightmares the past few nights? I know you’re the only one that can hear him, and I know you usually end up in his room when they come. Has he mentioned anything?”
Guilt like I have never known assaults me. I nearly break down right there on the porch. “Yes,” I whisper, “he’s had nightmares the past few nights, but I don’t know what they were about. Oh, Evie, I heard him yelling, but I refused to go to him. I made him suffer because I was so angry with him. How could I be so cruel?”
Evie grimaces, but pats my arm. “Well, under the circumstances, I think you’d have to be a saint to be willing to get up in the middle of the night and go comfort the guy who stomped on your heart.” She shrugs apologetically.
Mason would have done it for me if the situation were reversed. I know he would have, but I was too stubborn and vindictive. As I laid awake the past few nights listening to him cry out, part of me was glad he was scared and alone. Don’t get me wrong, I had to nearly tie myself to the bed to stop myself from going to him, but a small part of me felt like he deserved it.
I close my eyes and focus for just a moment on what a horrible person I have been the last few days. The ache I feel when I think of Mason settles in deep, chastising me for ever taking any enjoyment from his pain. I should have seen that something was wrong, that the Mason I knew would never do something so horrible to a person just because he could. I was too wound up in my own pain to realize something had him so scared he was willing to lie to me and hurt me.
Taking a deep breath in, I resolve to set things right.
“Hey, everyone,” Mom says cheerfully as she steps out onto the porch. “Dinner is ready.”
I watch with a small smile as her eyes find Mason and watch him all the way to the door. The grin on her face is infectious. She’s so happy just to watch him walk! She and Dad clasp hands briefly as he walks by, but Mom slides an arm around Mason’s shoulders and ushers him into the house. I look over at Evie and notice she too can’t seem to stop staring at Mason.
“I’ll talk to him after dinner,” I say to her.
Her expression brightens. “Thank goodness.” She turns to me and grins. “I already thought he was pretty darn near perfect when he was invisible. Add in actually being able to see his gorgeous self… you better snatch him up before somebody else does.”
That’s exactly what I intend to do. Smiling, I don’t say that to Evie. Instead, I say, “Come on, let’s get some dinner.”
We both head back into the house and make our way to the kitchen. Everyone else is already seated and Mom is dishing out chicken cordon bleu. There is a seat next to Mason, and one on the opposite side. Lately, I have taken to sitting as far away from Mason as I can get. Evie doesn’t even ask me where I want to sit. She just heads around the table, leaving the seat next to Mason open.
When I sit down next to him, he freezes. His chest stops moving, no air going in or out. It takes a few seconds before he looks over at me with a strained expression. It takes a little effort for me to smile at him, but I manage it half-convincingly. He stares at me for a moment before the corner of his mouth twitches up.
; That’s about as much as I can handle at the moment, so I turn to grab a plate from Mom and stick a piece of chicken in my mouth. We’re halfway through dinner—a meal filled with chatter mainly directed at Mason—when the sound of a car nearing the house steals all the life out of the room. With everything that’s happened lately, and the fact that Mom hasn’t been able to get a hold of the DeWalt’s daughter to find out if they’re alright, anyone approaching the house unexpectedly makes us very wary.
All eyes go to the window above the kitchen sink. Fears of Sentinels coming to kill Mason stiffen my body. The blue four door truck doesn’t look familiar, but I choke on my food when I see Hayden step out on the sidewalk.
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