by Arthurs, Nia
Why is he hugging me? And why do I like it so much?
James finally pulled back. Excitement glittered in his eyes. A broad smile split his handsome face. He thrust a paper at me.
I studied it. “Is this your test?”
“I got a B minus.”
“James!” I launched myself at him, swept up in my own happiness. “That’s awesome!”
He grunted, stumbling back to catch me.
I realized what I’d done and shyly dropped my arms, but James didn’t. His arms circled my waist. “Thank you, Monique.”
“It was nothing. You did all the hard work. I just guided you along.”
“Ehem.” Angie grinned at James. “Hi, Catherine.”
I narrowed my eyes.
Angie just grinned evilly.
James dropped his arms from around me and offered his hand to her. “Hey, I’m not Catherine. I’m James. Are you Monique’s friend?”
“We’re not just friends,” Angie said. “We’re like the best of friends.”
I snorted.
Angie’s smile did not falter.
“Cool,” James said. “Do you mind if I steal her for a minute?”
“Take her for a whole day. I don’t care.” Angie shooed me away.
With one last dirty look at her, I grabbed my school bag and my tray and hurried after James. He helped me toss the food in the garbage can and led me down the hallway.
I noticed we were heading to the parking lot, but I didn’t question why or remind him that freshmen weren’t allowed off-campus during lunch.
My smile grew the more I thought about how proud I was. A ‘B’ in a class he’d been failing just a few weeks ago was a huge improvement. It was his hard work that made the difference, but I’d been a part of it. There was something incredibly satisfying about helping someone achieve their potential.
James turned back to look at me, still grinning. “It felt like I was doing one of your mock tests. To be honest, you grade harder.”
I laughed. “Good to know. Now we just gotta tackle the rest of your subjects and bring them up to scratch too.”
“We’ll worry about that later. For now, we celebrate.”
I smiled and stumbled behind him into the parking lot. At the same time, two boys climbed out of a car and strode in our direction.
James stopped short. His smile dropped immediately, replaced with a frigid sneer. “Eric.”
I glanced at Eric and then at the guy beside him. “Harley?”
“Mo?”
Eric grinned like we were having a friendly reunion. “Hey, Monique. It’s been a while, huh? I loved that interview you did for the paper. Riveting stuff.”
“What are you doing, Eric?” James asked coldly.
“What does it look like?” He slung his arm over Harley’s shoulders. “I’m recruiting my new guitar player.”
15
The Baby Blindside
James
My fingers closed into fists. I wanted to punch that smug grin off Eric’s face. Monique was the only thing that held me back. She stood beside me, her gaze locked on Harley. I could feel her confusion. I didn’t want to multiply it by flying at Eric and rearranging his face.
Monique gasped. “Harley, you joined Eric’s band?”
“We lost a guitar player. He was a bit of a diva anyway, so it worked out.”
I gritted my teeth, bristling against Eric’s unfair assessment.
Harley strode forward, his eyes locked on Monique. “Where were you going? You know you’re not allowed off-campus during lunch.”
“Oh, I…” Monique shot me a hesitant look. “We were—”
“Come on.” Harley grabbed Monique’s hand and pulled her back toward the school.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I snatched her other hand. Monique bounced to a stop between us. Harley whipped his head around, his gaze burning into me.
Eric chuckled. “Well, this is awkward.”
“What are you guys doing?” Monique wiggled her arms. “Both of you, let go.”
A tick started in Harley’s jaw. “You might get away with breaking the rules because of your daddy’s money, but we don’t have that kind of security if we get in trouble.”
“Harley, it was my choice to follow him.”
“He should know better,” Harley said. “If he’s really into you, he should think of your situation too. He should protect you instead of manipulating you so he gets what he wants.”
I wanted to defend myself, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Harley had already made up his mind about who I was and no words would be powerful enough to convince him otherwise.
So I let Monique’s hand go.
Without another backward glance, Harley pulled her away. Monique turned and cast an apologetic look over her shoulder as she stumbled behind her friend.
“Oof,” Eric said, “that must hurt.”
I whirled around. Monique wasn’t here anymore. There was nothing stopping me now.
Fire blazed in my chest. My anger was slightly irrational. Eric had kicked my pride, but it shouldn’t have left me this shaken.
One corner of his thin lips arched up. “You wanna hit me?”
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.”
He held his ground, not flinching even when I strode forward. “She’s still watching.”
Eric moved his eyes to a point just over my shoulder. I turned around and found Monique, staring at us. She’d freed herself from Harley’s clasp and had one foot in front of the other, her entire body straining toward me.
“Show her who you are, James.”
I ground my teeth together. My anger cried out for blood, but I couldn’t become the monster that I hated. My dad used his fists to express his displeasure. Would I be any different from him if I made that choice?
“I’m not gonna hit you. I just want to talk.”
“Ask away.”
I snuck a peek through the corner of my eye. Monique was coming this way. I jerked my chin to Eric’s car. “Somewhere else.”
“Suit yourself.”
We climbed into his car and drove off. In the distance, Monique called my name, but I squeezed my eyes shut and pretended I hadn’t heard.
Eric snorted. “You don’t usually play around with your little fan girls. What’s so special about her?”
“She’s not a fan girl.”
“Then what is she?”
Monique was someone I cared deeply about, but I figured she should be the one to hear that first. Not Eric.
“Stop here,” I instructed when we’d left the school gates.
“We might as well have stayed in the parking lot.”
“I can’t go anywhere with you. It’s too tempting.”
“What is?”
“Beating your face in.”
Eric blinked.
I turned to him. “Why did you suddenly go after Harley when you said he didn’t make the cut?”
“Why do you care?”
Because Monique cares about him. “Because I don’t trust you.”
“Look, I’d kick Harley out in a minute if you’d just come back where you belong.” Eric leaned over the console and spoke in a cajoling tone. “We’ve got a gig at the Christmas tree lightning this December. Why don’t you quit throwing your little tantrum and help us out?”
“If you invited Harley back, you should give him a chance.”
He flopped back into his seat. “You’re still playing hardball? What more do you want?”
“I’m not interested in rejoining the group, Eric. Leave Harley alone if you’re only using him to get me back.” I opened the door and stepped out.
“James! Wait up, man! James!”
I slammed the door on Eric’s protests and stalked back to the parking lot. When I looked around, Monique was gone. Maybe that was for the best. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her right now.
That afternoon, I sulked through the rest of my classes. I kept replaying the sce
ne where Harley grabbed Monique’s hand and hauled her away from me.
My chest burned.
His snarky comment about protecting her had hit a soft spot, but I knew in my heart that I would never do anything to harm Monique. Sneaking out of campus wasn’t a big deal, and I could tell Harley was just blowing it out of proportion because I was the one by her side.
Then what was really bugging me?
I thought of Harley touching Monique and the burning in my chest amplified. They were so close. If it was a game for Monique’s heart, Harley had a head start. How could I compete with a guy she’d known since childhood?
I bowled over, rubbing my chest through my T-shirt. What was this strange feeling?
Am I… jealous?
The bell rang.
I gathered my books, disregarding the girls who crowded around my desk asking when the next concert would be. My backpack slapped against my shoulder as I trotted into the hallway.
Jealous? Me?
I didn’t get jealous. Everything I wanted was available at the snap of my fingers. Food, cars, instruments, girls—I said the word and whatever I could imagine was mine.
But you want Monique and she isn’t yours.
Someone touched my arm.
I shrugged them off.
“James,” a voice said. I glanced over and spotted Marissa’s green eyes staring earnestly at me. She played with the strap of her purse. “Can I talk to you?”
I wasn’t in the mood but, fearing it had something to do with her pregnancy, I nodded.
She led me to an empty classroom. I locked the door and followed her to a corner all the way at the back. She’d been keeping her distance since our argument earlier in the week so this stunt came as a surprise.
After a few moments of silence, I grunted. “You said you needed to talk.”
“Give me a minute, will you?”
“Fine.” I shuffled my feet, willing my irritation to remain deep inside.
“Why do you like her?” Marissa mumbled.
I straightened. “Who?”
“You know who.” Her head lifted. “Why her and not me?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“I tried really hard to be the type of girl you’d want. I thought I was doing everything right. If you just tell me what I did wrong,” she reached out, “I’ll fix it.”
I stepped back, letting her hand shrivel in the air. “Marissa, stop.”
“Is she prettier than me? Is she smarter? Is she more exciting in bed? I need a reason!”
“I said stop! There’s nothing to compare, okay? I was clear with you from the beginning.”
Her eyes watered. “You jerk.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I really didn’t intend to do that—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t apologize. You’ll make me feel even smaller.”
I watched her. She was gorgeous. Pale skin. Dainty nose. Thin lips. Striking green eyes. She could get any guy she wanted. It wouldn’t be that hard.
“You’re right.”
She glanced up, beautiful eyes swimming in tears. “What?”
“I am a jerk.” I stepped closer to her and squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t cry. If you’re upset, it might affect the baby.”
Her nose flared and she whirled away. “It’s fine, James. Your precious baby is fine.”
“I get that you’re angry but—”
“You don’t ‘get’ anything.” Marissa advanced. “You must think that I chose you because you’re hot and rich. That’s not true.” She shook her head. “I like you because I see the real you. You act cocky and perfect, but on the inside you’re broken. Just like me. We’re the same.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Yes, we are.” Marissa held my gaze, her hand going for my pants. Her voice became a seductive whisper. “We can make each other feel better.”
My fingers twitched. Even though my heart felt nothing for her, my body didn’t suffer the same problem. The effect she’d always had on me struggled to shake my resolve.
I could easily bang her in the classroom, pull my pants back up and move on.
I could.
And a part of me even wanted to.
But instead, I snatched her wrist and said in a hard voice, “Look at me.”
“I can make you forget about her,” she said, struggling against me. I heard tears crackling in her voice. Marissa’s skinny arm fought to finish unzipping my pants. “I know you want me. I can see it. Take me, James. Use me. I don’t care. Just don’t… don’t go to her.”
I grappled with her aggressive arms and then drove her away. Still holding onto Marissa’s shoulders, I instructed. “Look at me.”
She did. A tear spilled down her quaking cheek.
“You’re not like your mom. You deserve someone who can love you for who you are. That person isn’t me, Marissa.”
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “So you won’t change your mind?”
“I’ll be there for you and the baby, but that’s all I can give you.”
She seemed to calm down a little so I let her go and stepped back, still observing her face. While Marissa got herself together, it dawned on me that I’d just said ‘no’ to sex with her.
Unbelievable.
So many times in the past I’d tried to turn her down. I’d seen her growing feelings and I didn’t want to encourage them, but I was too weak to break it off.
What had changed?
Monique’s face flashed to mind and my heart pounded.
“James?”
“W-what?” I asked absently.
“I need you to do something for me.”
I focused on Marissa. She stood with her back ramrod straight and her shoulders stiff.
What is she thinking?
“Is it for the baby or—?”
“Stop your tutoring sessions with Monique.”
My first instinct was to laugh. “No.”
“Why not?”
“My tutoring has nothing to do with you.”
Marissa tilted her head. “Don’t make me do this, James.”
“Do what?”
She inhaled a deep breath. “Quit your tutoring or I’ll tell Monique the truth about us.” A hand rose and caressed her stomach. “Even if she likes you, I have a feeling she won’t take it well.”
“You’re crossing a line, Marissa.”
“I don’t care anymore. You don’t want me and I’m going to have to accept that, but if I’m not happy, you can’t be either.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” I hissed.
She shrugged.
My voice hardened. “I can’t. I can’t let her go.”
“Alright then. I’ll just find Monique and have a chat—”
“Wait.”
Marissa froze.
I let out a shuddering breath. “The tutoring is important to keep my grades up. What if I agree not to date her?”
“Oh, honey. You can’t date her anyway. Not unless you want to introduce our little bundle of joy.” Marissa folded her arms over her chest. “Drop Monique or I tell her everything. What’s it gonna be?”
Marissa was playing hardball, but what choice did I have? I’d rather cut Monique off now than be on the receiving end of her disappointed gaze after she found out I got Marissa pregnant.
My chest felt like it had been shredded when I bit out, “I’ll end it.”
“When?”
I ignored Marissa’s smug grin and growled, “Today.”
16
Wish Them Dead
Monique
I adjusted the pen on the library table so it lay perpendicular to the textbook. Then I shifted it around to the left. Put it back to the right. It didn’t look good there either. I gave up with a groan and shoved the pen inside the book.
My gaze slipped to my phone.
James was late.
He hadn’t been late to tutoring since that first day. In fact, he was usually here before me. I had to
rush to the library after class to beat him.
Fifteen minutes passed.
He’ll be here any minute.
Thirty minutes flew by.
I squirmed and wondered if I should just leave.
Is he avoiding me because of Harley?
Whatever reason James had for dropping out of Eric’s band, it had something to do with my best friend. James never told me that outright, but it was fairly obvious since his decision came on the heels of my ‘reinstate Harley’ demand.
How could I not feel sorry for James? Harley dissed him by jumping right back in with Eric. Since I didn’t trust Eric in the first place, that ticked me off too.
My mind jumped to the fight I’d had with Harley after he dragged me out of the parking lot.
I tore my arm away. “You’re hurting me.”
“Sorry.” Harley ran a hand through his hair. His short blonde locks stood on end. “I just… I couldn’t let you make a fool of yourself.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Eric told me all about James and the way he treated you when you interviewed them. It’s clear he’s messing with you.”
“That’s not true. You can’t believe everything Eric says.”
“So you’re taking up for James now?”
My chest heaved. “Did Eric tell you why he wanted you back in the band?”
“Because I’m a better musician.”
I snorted.
A vein popped to life in Harley’s temple. “You think he’s lying?”
“That’s not—”
“You don’t believe in me, do you?”
“I think you’re a great guitarist, but isn’t there a part of you that questions why Eric’s on your side all of a sudden? Be honest, Harley.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve wanted to play for months and I finally have the chance. Can’t you be happy for me?”
“Not if Eric’s just going to kick you out of the band again when he feels like it.”
“Fine.”
“Harley!”
“Have fun with James.” Harley glowered. “I don’t need friends like you.”