by Dylan Steel
“I’m afraid that’s not an option. It’s rather urgent, and you’re not a very experienced rider.”
Sage frowned. She didn’t want to go with him, but she couldn’t help feeling a little insulted.
“Even if you were, that much riding takes a toll on a person,” he continued quickly, noticing her expression, “and you’ve been through more than enough recently. You need to rest.”
“It’s fine,” she said, brushing off his explanation.
“You’re in good hands here, and I don’t expect to be gone more than a day or two.” He set his hand on hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze that made her treasonous heart leap. “And it’ll give you a chance to get to know some of the other members of my staff.”
“So if I’m not coming with you, does that mean I’m not tethered to you?” She cringed as the words slipped out. The uncertainty had been hanging over her head all day, but she hadn’t meant to ask so bluntly.
Weston studied her seriously for a moment. “You’ll have complete freedom to explore the grounds, but don’t venture beyond the Bennick estate lines.”
“How would I know if I did?” she asked, trying to hide how hard her heart was pounding as she waited for him to admit that doing so would kill her instantly. Even though he still thought she was pregnant, she couldn’t be sure benefactors were unable to make exceptions under those circumstances. After all, he’d killed the officer who attacked her last night, and that wasn’t supposed to be possible either.
His lips twitched. “It’s a large estate. You’d almost have to be trying to leave to find the boundaries,” he said coolly. All hints of his earlier friendliness had vanished once again. The man’s moods shifted fast and often. It was infuriating—and more than a little terrifying.
“Do you believe in fate, Sage?”
“Fate?” She blinked at the sudden abrupt change in topic.
“Things just happen the way they’re going to happen regardless of what we do. For instance, our encounter last night—you being paired to me—it was all inevitable. No matter what other path we tried to take, we still would have wound up here, having this very conversation.”
She frowned. She wasn’t exactly sure she liked the sounds of that. “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Well, I don’t,” he said firmly. “If our lives were determined by fate, none of our actions would matter. But I think everything we do matters. Some things more than others, of course. But I believe every moment of our lives leads to the next because of the choices we make. I think, sometimes, our choices look like fate because in a moment of decision, we can’t imagine making a different choice even if we had every opportunity to.”
Sage’s eyebrows furrowed. He wasn’t making much sense. And if she applied his theory far enough back, it meant that her parents’ deaths were somehow their own fault. Penelope’s and Everett’s too. She didn’t like that idea in the least. In fact, that sounded a lot like what Eprah believed.
“Maybe I do believe in fate. Or maybe not,” she said quietly. She lifted her eyes in a challenge. “Did you consider choosing not to become a benefactor when your parents died?”
“Could I have remained just a doctor?” He pursed his lips, nodding thoughtfully. “Tell me. Would it have been the right decision? Letting the estate go to someone else—someone with less experience and training who was unlikely to manage it well? Would that be the best service to Eprah?”
She looked away, refusing to answer the rhetorical question.
“It wasn’t an easy decision,” he admitted, “but I believe it was mine to make.”
Leaning forward, he put a finger under her chin, gently directing her back until she met his gaze. “So do we rely on fate or our own choices? One of them determines the course of our life while the other is nothing more than a fanciful tale.”
It sounded like a riddle—one which she couldn’t hope to solve. She searched his eyes for an answer but found none.
“Tethering you puts your life in my hands,” he continued. “In my view, it removes fate from the equation.”
Her throat suddenly felt very dry. She licked her lips. “You said you don’t believe in fate.”
His blue eyes pierced hers with unwavering intensity. She sucked in a shallow breath.
“I did.”
Despite her best efforts to remain calm, her chest rose and fell quickly as she waited for him to say more. To give some indication that he hadn’t meant what he’d just implied. To say she wasn’t tethered.
But he didn’t. He stood and walked away in silence, closing the door behind him.
Sage slumped back in her chair, despair wrenching at her soul as she was left alone in her room.
He hadn’t answered her question. She still didn’t know if she was tethered—though it certainly sounded like she was.
6. ELIZA
Light streamed through the window, sliding harshly over Sage’s skin. She squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over with a grunt, smashing one of the bed’s extra pillows over her head.
Based on the intensity of the beam heating up her shoulders, it had to be at least eleven o’clock in the morning. Maybe later. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t needed to get up early to keep to someone else’s schedule, but she was supposed to rest. Weston had insisted. And on this, she wasn’t about to fight him. Not when it meant burrowing deeper into the most luxurious bed she’d ever seen.
Besides, Martha had showed her where the kitchen was last night, so it wasn’t like she was going to starve.
With that thought, her stomach growled.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m getting up,” she mumbled to herself, shoving pillows and blankets out of her way as she stumbled out of bed.
Literally.
Jerking forward as her legs unexpectedly buckled beneath her, Sage caught herself on her hands and knees, barely avoiding hitting the ground with her face. She groaned. The muscles in the bottom half of her body were beyond sore. Riding a horse for most of the day yesterday hadn’t done her any favors.
Pushing herself up slowly, she took a few tentative steps forward. Her legs burned in protest, but at least now she knew to expect it. Satisfied she wasn’t going to collapse again, she pulled on some clothes and threw her hair up before wandering out of her room.
Pausing only briefly to look at the statue in the alcove, Sage focused on recounting the directions Martha had shown her. The manor was enormous, and this was only one of the many buildings on the property. She couldn’t imagine ever becoming familiar with all the massive spaces, but she hoped she at least wouldn’t get lost on her first day.
She kept a watchful eye out as she turned each corner. She still wasn’t sure if Sam was around or if he’d gone into hiding when officers had come for Sophia. Or maybe he’d heard she joined the estate and was avoiding her. One part of her was convinced he was going to show up any moment and whisk her off to a hidden room and lock her away forever—and the other part of her was absolutely certain she’d never see him again.
It wasn’t like she could’ve asked Weston. She didn’t know Sam’s real name, and she’d never told anyone that she could identify her guard. If she told Weston, it might get back to Mr. Gaztok that she hadn’t been totally honest with him before, and she didn’t want to think about how he’d react. Probably accuse her of being Lawless—and she knew how well that had gone for Sophia Bennick and Mr. Walsh. Being paired with Weston offered some protection, but she didn’t know if it extended as far as almost-Quorum-members—and she didn’t want to find that answer out the hard way.
Pain shot up her thighs, snapping her attention back to her current path. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the railing to help ease herself down the stairs. So many stairs. At least she knew the kitchen wasn’t much farther.
Of course, she would’ve found it faster if she hadn’t made two wrong turns.
By the time she finally padded into the kitchen, her stomach was twisting in on itself in hunger. She waste
d no time rummaging through the closet’s food stores until she found some fruit and bread and a couple wedges of hard cheese. She bundled it to her chest greedily and walked over to the table, dumping her haul in front of her. Collapsing in the chair, she dug right in to her small feast.
It hadn’t been more than a couple days since she’d tried to escape Eprah and join the Rogues, but since the moment Weston had walked into her life, she hadn’t had any time alone to think. Just because this cage was more beautiful than the last one didn’t mean she wanted to stay. Being at the mercy of a benefactor’s whims was no better than surviving other citizens on the streets of Eprah. Everett had reminded her that truly living was worth risking everything, and her heart was still bursting for freedom.
She just needed a plan.
The sound of approaching footsteps halted her mid-chew, putting a stop to her mental list of theories on how to become untethered.
“Oh!” A girl about Sage’s age froze in the doorway. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”
Sage hurried to swallow the too-large bite she’d taken. “Do you need me to leave?” she asked, wincing at the rough edges of apple scraping down her esophagus.
“Don’t be silly.” The girl waved a gloved hand, sending her golden waves tumbling with the motion. Her hazel eyes brightened as she noticed the pile of food in front of her. “May I?”
Sage shrugged. “Sure.”
“I’m Eliza.” She grinned and pulled out the chair beside her. “You must be Sage.”
“How—”
“Everyone’s been talking about you.”
“Everyone?”
“Uh-huh. Everyone that works here.”
Relief swept over Sage’s body like a blanket of cool air. Everyone knew she was there. Including Sam—if he was still there. At least now she could be pretty sure she wouldn’t see him.
Eliza popped some cheese in her mouth. “It’s kind of a big deal. Mr. Bennick’s never had a pair before.”
“He hasn’t?” Sage didn’t do a good job of hiding her surprise. “But he’s not—he’s older, right?”
“Well, yeah. But not, like, ancient.” She winked. “And definitely still young enough to be gorgeous.”
Sage felt her cheeks redden. Rox. Ok, yes, he might be—maybe definitely was—attractive, but that didn’t change things. He’d still rushed in and stolen her one best opportunity for freedom.
The girl’s bright eyes looked up and down Sage with a sort of curiosity. “Kinda weird that he waited so long after graduation though, isn’t it?”
“I guess…” Sage trailed off, not wanting to share the events of the past couple days with a total stranger. She frowned, thinking aloud. “He’s really never been paired? I thought everyone had to…”
“He’s a benefactor.” Eliza rolled her eyes. “You do know they live by an entirely different set of rules, right? And it’s not like they’re usually lacking in pairs throughout their lives if you know what I mean.”
A shudder of revulsion passed through Sage. She did know. She’d seen benefactors like Edward Grayson use and discard their pairs for years. Was she just the first of many for Weston? Her forehead creased. She couldn’t think like that—like she was his possession. She wasn’t. Never would be. And she’d figure out a way out of this mess soon and be on her own.
“You’re lucky,” Eliza said. “Mr. Bennick’s not just easy on the eyes. He’s actually really nice. I sure wouldn’t mind…” she trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows.
Sage’s ears burned. Why were they talking about this?
“Eh, but Jonah’s not a bad pair. Can’t complain, really,” Eliza said, picking up another piece of cheese.
“You’re still paired?”
“Well, yeah. Just graduated and all.”
Sage looked at her in confusion. If Eliza had really just graduated, they were the same age—maybe would’ve even had some classes together. They definitely would’ve shared the same Common Lounge. But she didn’t look familiar at all.
“Sorry… probably all the craziness of the past few days, but I don’t remember ever seeing you. Did we have any classes together?”
Eliza laughed. “Of course not. I was raised here. At the estate.”
“What?” Sage’s mouth fell open. “But I don’t—I thought only benefactors’ kids—are you—”
“I’m not a Bennick,” Eliza interrupted, giggling. “My parents work here. The Bennicks have always let the kids stay here instead of going to the Institution if their parents want. We rotate through different training, so we’re practically guaranteed to be assigned here at graduation. I already know how to do at least half of the jobs here.” Her chest puffed up a little. “I’m on prep and dish duty tonight—this month, really, that’s why I have some time off right now—but next month I’ll start forest duty, and after that, I think it’ll be the fields. Not the best, but at least I didn’t get stuck with it over the summer. That’s the worst.”
“Oh,” Sage said dumbly, feeling a little useless as she fingered the half-eaten roll in front of her.
“Sorry,” Eliza said, looking sheepish. “Here I am going on about work, and you’re probably just thinking about how much you want Mr. Bennick to come back.”
Not exactly.
Sage forced a smile. “Any idea when he is coming back? He said it’d just be a day or two…”
She shook her head. “I barely even heard he left—and that was just because everyone’s talking about you. Martha’s really the only one that keeps up with his schedule. But there’s always so much to do around here, we don’t even see him all that much.”
“Oh.” Sage didn’t bother trying to hide her disappointment. Eliza would apparently misinterpret it as her missing Weston anyway. What a weird thought—missing someone she’d just met.
“Aw, don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be soon.” She hopped up and hugged Sage in an unexpected show of support. “I think it’s sweet you’re already so attached.”
Try tethered. Sage bit back the retort.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Eliza continued happily. “There haven’t been a ton of new grads the past couple years, so there’s hardly anyone my age. Oooh—” she squealed, “we can both ditch our pairs one night and stay up late and talk and—what’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure that’ll work,” Sage said cautiously.
“Well, sure, ok, you probably can’t ditch Mr. Bennick, but he leaves the estate all the time. And I can totally ditch Jonah every once in awhile now that I’m pregnant.” A shy grin spread over her face. “But I think he’s gonna ask me to marry him soon, so I might not have many nights left just for girl talk.”
“Wow, that’s—” Sage stopped, not sure how to react to everything she’d just heard. “I mean, that’s great for you and… Jonah? But I meant my room’s right next to Weston’s, and he probably doesn’t want me making a ton of noise.”
“That’s fine. You can hang out in my room. Jonah can take one of the couches or something in the worker’s den.”
“The worker’s den?”
“Yeah, you know. All of us live in the building over there.” Eliza pointed at the wall. Sage assumed the den was in that direction, but there were no windows in the kitchen, so she couldn’t be sure.
“So you live over there?”
“Yup.”
“Do you have a kitchen and everything?”
“Uh-huh.”
Sage’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Then why are you over here?”
A blush spread over Eliza’s face. “I was hoping I’d run into you,” she admitted, looking guilty. “Everyone wants to meet you.”
“Am I that fascinating?”
“Kinda.” Eliza shrugged.
Sage nodded thoughtfully. “Ok.”
“Ok?”
“I think I get it. Sort of. But I have a lot to learn about this place.” She tilted her head. It would probably help to get a feel for the estate before planning her escape. “Starting with
where everything is. I’m going to explore the grounds today. Wanna give me a tour?”
Eliza started to say something but then glanced at the clock. “I… I only have a couple hours before I need to get back to work.”
“C’mon.” Sage elbowed her playfully. “If you don’t, I’ll wander around on my own, and I’m sure I’ll get lost somewhere. Several times, probably. Or worse, I’ll go past the property, and my tether will kick in.” She grinned wryly. “Then we definitely won’t get to have any late-night talks.”
“He tethered you?” Eliza’s eyes grew wide. “Did he actually say that?”
“I think so.” Sage’s brow furrowed. “I mean, he definitely made it sound like he had.”
Eliza’s golden waves swished around her shoulders. “That doesn’t sound like something he’d do. Unless maybe you made him really mad or something. Did you?”
Sage frowned. “I don’t think so…”
“It doesn’t matter anyways,” Eliza said, throwing her hands in the air. She’d obviously been struck by some sort of epiphany. “Not like you’re going to do anything to set it off. The property’s huge, and you’d basically have to be trying to run away to get anywhere close to the end of it. And you’d have to be insane to run.”
“Yeah,” Sage said quickly, barely managing to contain her shock. Being raised on the benefactor’s estate had obviously fried this girl’s brain. She didn’t even realize the freedom she was missing. “All the same, I’d rather not take the risk, so…?”
Eliza stared at her for a moment, deliberating. “Ok, fine. But only for a little bit. If I’m late again, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
7. FRESH AIR
“What do you want to check out first?” Eliza grinned as she stood in the middle of the hall.
“Uh…” Sage hesitated, glancing around. She didn’t want to suggest that they start heading straight for the end of the property—she couldn’t afford to appear too eager to leave. No sense raising any alarms until she had a real plan for losing the tether. “Maybe the house first? Then we can go from there.”
“Ok.” Eliza grabbed her hand, pulling her along. “Let’s start on this side since you’ve sort of seen the other half already. Your room, silly,” she said in response to Sage’s perplexed look.