I was broken, and when my ride-or-die friends didn’t want to come to my pity party, I found some different folks who didn’t mind wallowing in negativity with me. But that’s the good thing about the right circle, they won’t come to your pity party and they won’t let you stay long at it either.
Still, picking myself up was hard. And then, one day, I realized my children were watching. And how I pulled myself up could make all the difference in the world when it came to shaping who they would become. So as one year morphed into another, I made myself a vow. There was more to life than what I was living—or in this case, not living. And though I took a different twist on this book, ultimately, it’s about finding that which brings you joy—and doing it. And realizing that sometimes, God has to knock us on our behinds so that we can get up and fly!
I cried and cried about all that I had lost. What I didn’t know then was that God was preparing me for something greater. I’m still working toward that greatness every day but I’m so happy to say I’m moving. Maybe I lost my book deal because I’d gotten comfortable and God knew my destiny was greater than that. I was blessed to land with another publisher (hence the reason you’re reading this book ) . . . and back with my original editor who helped put “ReShonda the author” on the map in the first place. Maybe God moved me so that we could go to the next level (I’m ready, Selena James).
I don’t know the reasons for everything I went through, but I do know that which didn’t break me made me stronger. I changed my attitude, and it changed my life. The happiness I thought I’d never know again greets me daily with an intoxicating hug. And yeah, I may have my down moments, but they’re just that—moments. Now I dance every day like no one’s watching.
That’s what this book is all about—finding your joy, finding the strength to start over, releasing your fear, pursuing your passion, and stepping out on faith to follow your dreams! I’m ready to soar!
Now that I’ve let y’all all up in my personal business—it’s cool because hopefully my testimony will inspire someone else to walk in their purpose—I need to get down to the hard part: thanking all of those who made this possible. I know with fifty books, it’s like do you really need to thank all these people again? Yep. Because each book is made possible by some amazing people and I will continue to recognize them again and again.
First and foremost, my babies—the reason I do what I do—Mya, Morgan, and Myles. You three are the strongest, most amazing children any mother could ask for. Though I may have fallen short at times, know that the most fulfilling job I have is being your mother and I will work tirelessly to make you proud.
My sister . . . words can’t even express my love for Tanisha Tate. She has been my biggest cheerleader since the day she entered this world. Our mother did her best to raise two amazing daughters, and watching the way my sister steps up to the plate—as a single mother, as a daughter, as a sister, as a soror, as a friend—fills my heart with joy. To my mother, a stroke and brain tumor sidelined you, but the love you have for us is still evident and I am forever grateful God decided to make me yours.
To Victoria Christopher Murray (the friend that almost wasn’t) . . . you have become more than my business/writing partner, you are my sister for life. I truly would not have gotten up off the sofa if it were not for you. Thank you so much for not bailing on our business or our books when I was that monster that made your life miserable. This book—like all the others—is better because of you. My life is better because of your friendship.
To my forever friends who literally kept me sane, dried my tears, and slapped me around and told me to snap out of it: Jaimi Canady, Raquelle Lewis, Kim Wright, and Clemelia Humphrey Richardson. Love you for life!
To Pat Tucker, thank you for the hours and hours and hours . . . of just being my friend. Of helping me find laughter when all I wanted to do was cry.
To Jeffrey . . . thank you for helping me find balance, for listening, for laughing, for encouraging and making me remember to always “Choose kindness.”
To my BGB family . . . thank you so much for all that you do. To our amazing partners . . . Thank you for your patience and understanding.
I’ve already mentioned my editor Selena James, but I want to thank her again for believing in me, and I want to give a shout-out to the whole Kensington family. I’m getting my hustle on to make you proud. As always, thank you also to my agent, Sara Camilli.
To some very special friends who help my muse be her best on this book: my sisters in Da Baddest Authoresses (Tiffany Warren and Renee Flagler) . . . you ladies have no idea how our interaction (along with VCM) help me get through the day. Thank you Raine Bradley. Special shout out to Eric Jamal, Nakecia Bowers, Yolanda Gore (thank you for helping me get this done), Shay Smith, Sonny Messiah Jiles, Norma Warren, Sedaris Preston, Eddie Brown, Lisa Paige Jones, Marilyn Marshall, and Jay T. Carraway.
Much love to my Texas Southern University family: Melinda Spaulding (an amazing boss and even better friend), Isoke, Karen, Dominique, Shenetra, Crystal, Bosede, Jeff, Joneen, Connie, Louis, Tan, Ernest, and Donna. Thank you for all that you do.
A thousand thanks to my literary colleagues: Nina Foxx, Terri Ann Johnson, Landis Lain, Eric Jerome Dickey, Victor Mc-Glothin, and Curtis Bunn. Special shout-outs to: Davion Anderson, Jason Frost, Monique S. Hall, Sharon Lucas, Naturopath Cecie Reed, Sophie Sealy, Isiah Carey, Tres Dunmore, April Moore Gipson, Bridget Crawford, King Brooks, Tiffany Tyler, Orsayor Simmons, Radiah Hubbert, Jessica Hill, Monica Green, Pam Gaskin, Ivy Levingston, Shajra Austin, Jean Cormier, Addie Heyliger, Erika Gentry, Lisa Meade, and Monique Bruner.
I could list book clubs for days. But I want to give a special acknowledgment to Black Orchid Bookclub, A Novel Idea, Brownstone Book Club, Bettye Jean, Sistahs in Conversation and Sistahs in Harmony, Black Butterfly, Cover 2 Cover, Savvy, Nubian Page-turners, Cush City, Black Pearls Keepin it Real, Mahogany, Women of Substance, My Sisters & Me, Pages Between Sistahs, Shared Thoughts, Brag about Books, Mocha Readers, Characters, Christian Fiction Café, Sisters Who Like to Read, Readers of Delight, Tabahani Book Circle, FB Page Turners, African-American Women’s Book Club, Women of Color, Zion M.B.C. Women’s Book Club, Jus’Us, Go On Girl Texas 1, Book Club Etc., Pearls of Wisdom, Alpha Kappa Omega Book Club, Lady Lotus, Soulful Readers of Detroit, Brownstone, and First Baptist Church—Agape Book Ministry (please know that if you’re not here, it doesn’t diminish my gratitude).
Thank you to all the wonderful libraries that have also supported my books, introduced me to readers, and fought to get my books on the shelves.
People often ask why I take time to thank my Facebook friends. But I’ve gotten so much love, encouragement, and support for my social media family, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge them. While I’m sure I’m missing someone, thank you to: Bernice, Allison, J’son, Natalie, Davina, Michelle, Karla, Tracey, Karyn, Crystal, Nina, Eddgra, Tonia, Kimberlee, Cindy, Annette, Nicole, Chenoa, Brenda, JE, Tanisha, Beverly, Dwon, Noelle, LaChelle, Kim, Princis, Joe, Charlenette, Karla, Yasmin, Terri, Tres, April, Cheryl, Kelley, Katharyn, Tashmir, Bridget, Juda, Alicia, Arnesha, Tamou, Antoinette, Cynthia, Jackie, Ernest, Wanda, Ralph, Patrick, Lissha, Tameka, Laura, Marsha, Wanda, Kym, Allison, Jacole, Stephanie, Dawn, Paula, Nakia, Jodi, Cecily, Leslie, Gary, Cryssy, KP, Tomaiya, Gwen, Nik, Martha, Joyce, Yolanda, Lasheera. (Y’all know I could go on and on . . . )
Lots of love and gratitude to my sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. (including my own chapter, Mu Kappa Omega), my sisters in Greekdom, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., who constantly show me love . . . and my fellow mothers in Jack and Jill of America, Inc, especially the Missouri City—Sugar Land Chapter.
And finally, thanks to YOU . . . my beloved reader. If it’s your first time picking up one of my books, I truly hope you enjoy. If you’re coming back, words cannot even begin to express how eternally grateful I am for your support. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you!
It’s my fiftieth book, y’all. Here’s to fif
ty more.
Livin’ my best life . . . Much Love,
ReShonda
A READING GROUP GUIDE
MORE TO LIFE
ReShonda Tate Billingsley
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The suggested questions are included to enhance your group’s reading of ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s
More to Life!
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. From the beginning, it’s evident that Aja loves her family; however, she seems exasperated with Charles, Anika, Eric, and even her mother-in-law, Judy. Are her feelings justified? What was the most challenging aspect of each character? And what role did she play in “creating those monsters,” as Roxie said?
2. Aja constantly feels like there’s a void that needs to be filled. What was the catalyst that made Aja truly feel like there had to be “more to life”? Did she set out about achieving her new chapters the right way?
3. Aja often talked of feeling suffocated. In what ways was this manifested throughout the story?
4. Aja set her dreams on the shelf to take care of her family and they continued to belittle her dream. Since it’s obvious they loved her, why do you think they repeatedly stepped on her dream? Who was to blame for their actions?
5. How could Aja have avoided losing herself in the marriage? Is this something that women do quite often? How can they keep this from happening?
6. Judy never felt that Aja was worthy of her son. Why do you think she felt that way? What role did Judy play, if any, in making things difficult between Aja and Charles? How should Aja and Charles have handled Judy from the very beginning?
7. Everyone dismissed Aja’s painting as a hobby. Is this something she should’ve addressed early on? How could she have better gotten her loved ones to understand her passion?
8. In the Dominican Republic, Aja interacts with both Jewel and Don Juan. What role does each of them play in helping Aja rediscover herself? What role does the stranger on the plane play?
9. On the surface, Charles appeared to have it all. What were some of his biggest drawbacks? Could you overlook some of his negative attributes because of all his positive ones?
10. Would you consider Aja’s friends supportive? Why do you think they initially didn’t want her to quit her job? Should they have talked her out of leaving her marriage?
11. Charles took Aja back and nursed her back to health without hesitation. Were his actions understandable? Did you agree with them? Why or why not?
12. Should Aja have found a way to make her marriage work after the accident since Charles took her back?
13. Do you believe that Sunnie Ray had intentions on developing a relationship with Charles from the beginning? Was that Judy’s goal? Would you allow a therapist like Sunnie into your home?
14. Aja talked about how she had gone from taking care of her brother and sister to taking care of Charles to taking care of her children. Did that play a role in her feeling unfulfilled? Do you think at some point, most women burn out?
15. Was Aja’s desire to open a gallery realistic? Should a mother be prepared to let some of her dreams go when it comes to raising her family?
More to Life Page 23