Attempted Vampirism

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Attempted Vampirism Page 23

by L. G. Estrella


  And then there’s Zephyra. Being a young, up-and-coming goddess isn’t easy when all the good jobs have already been taken. Being the goddess of raccoons might sound great, except the raccoon she’s stuck with is a kleptomaniac with a penchant for trouble. It’s a good thing that she’s not the only young god hoping to get some more experience. Young Death is looking for a part-time job too.

  And let’s not forget Fate. There’s no way Fate could possibly lose at poker, right? Most of the time, that would be true. But her opponents in this game are Luck, Misfortune, and… Mischief. There’s no way this doesn’t end in disaster.

  Divine Interference is a collection of fourteen short stories about the gods and their attempts to keep Creation running smoothly. There are dragons to negotiate with, cities that have to be destroyed artistically, and kingdoms in need of saving from vicious fish people. There’s nothing like a bit of divine interference to make life interesting.

  The Galactic Peace Committee

  The Galactic Peace Series Part One

  In one universe, humanity conquers the stars. In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy.

  This is not one of those universes.

  In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo.

  In theory.

  Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier.

  The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

  Galactic Diplomacy

  The Galactic Peace Series Part Two

  Man versus machine. Synthetic versus organic. The galaxy has seen countless conflicts between these factions. Civilisations have fallen, worlds have burned, and stars have died.

  Clearly, the Galactic Peace Committee has more work to do.

  As a proud diplomat of the Galactic Peace Committee, Jake Smith is all too familiar with the difficulties involved in keeping the peace between men and machines. From the petty – like convincing a robotically enhanced organic to join a gang of robots – to the absolutely horrible – like killer robots with plasma chainsaws for arms – Jake has seen it all… and somehow managed to survive even if there’s usually a lot of running, screaming, and bashing things to death with pieces of furniture involved.

  And, well, if sometimes there’s a little bit of collateral damage, what’s a planet or two between friends?

  But Jake’s life isn’t all about evil killer robots. There’s his killer robot secretary, and she’s only kind of evil. There are also volleyball-loving aliens with a penchant for dismemberment and aliens with advanced technology who are perfectly happy using that technology to rob people of their pizza pockets. Yes, there’s plenty of villainy to go around, both minor and major.

  And then there are the tree people.

  The galaxy is a weird and wonderful place. Unfortunately for the brave – some would say suicidal – diplomats of the Galactic Peace Committee, it also tends to be less than peaceful.

  The Trouble With Werewolves

  The Department Series Part One

  Listen up rookies, I’m going to keep this short, and I’m going to keep this simple. If you’re going to be an agent for the Australian Department of Unusual Events, then you need to know how to deal with werewolves. And werewolves, rookies, are not pleasant creatures to deal with. The average werewolf is seven feet tall and weighs roughly two hundred and fifty kilograms. The average werewolf also wants nothing more than to rip your face off and eat you for dinner.

  If you want to beat a werewolf, you can’t afford to fight fair. No, you cheat – you cheat as much as you bloody can. If that means sneaking up on it and putting a silver bullet in the back of its head with a sniper rifle, then that’s what you do. But I’m not going to waste your time by telling you what you already know. I’m not going to tell you about a mission where everything went right. I’m going to tell you about a mission where things went wrong because things always go wrong and learning how to deal with that is the only way you’ll last more than a year or two in the Department.

  So pay attention and take notes. It could save your life.

  Beneath a Shattered Sky

  The Fracture Chronicles Part One

  There were idiots – and then there were the Ancients.

  More than two thousand years ago, the Ancients decided that simply killing each other with all the power in one world wasn’t enough. No. They had to use the power of countless other worlds to kill each other.

  Unfortunately, things didn’t quite work out the way they planned.

  The barriers separating the world of Fracture from other worlds shattered, and the Ancients were overrun by endless hordes of otherworldly monsters. Civilisation collapsed, monsters ate lots of people, and pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

  Oops.

  Eventually, the survivors invented barriers, a powerful form of magic capable of stabilising parts of Fracture and keeping out otherworldly monsters. Score one for civilisation.

  Sophie is a graduate of Relic’s Temple, a warrior trained to use innate magic to fight all manner of bloodthirsty otherworldly monsters in hand-to-hand combat. At her legendary mother’s behest, she goes on a journey to find her mother’s almost-as-legendary former student. The problem is that Matilda isn’t quite what all the legends say.

  Oh, Matilda has got ass kicking down to an art form, and she’s an absolute genius at barrier magic, but she’s also an irredeemable (and highly successful) flirt who is seemingly immune to the effects of alcohol. She also likes to give people nicknames – irritatingly accurate nicknames.

  Before she knows it, Sophie is part of Matilda’s crew, journeying across Fracture in semi-epic fashion while performing acts of heroism for fame, charity, glory, and the occasional big payday. When she’s not being fired out of a sky-ship to board a pirate vessel, she’s fighting hordes of otherworldly monsters with a troubled city in their sights.

  But it is beneath a shattered sky that Sophie finally learns that Matilda really is every bit the legend people say she is.

  Copyright and Disclaimer

  Attempted Vampirism

  Copyright © April 2019 L. G. Estrella

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review (contact [email protected]).

  Cover image from Sarosi Matyas/Bigstock.com. Alterations by L. G. Estrella.

  This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and settings are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, names, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

 

 

 


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