Until one day an email arrived from a Korean friend telling me about a church that was looking for someone to work with their English ministry. I had never wanted to go to Korea, mainly because it had such a high number of Christians already and they were the second largest missionary sending country in the world. So I had zero interest in Korea - until that email. While it was not where I wanted to be I prayed God would use it as a stepping stone to the unreached. God had heard my prayer - I had no money - so He provided a way to Asia, with a job that included a plane ticket, paid for by the church.
Later in the days when I would be begging God to let me leave Korea He would remind me of when I begged Him to let me go there. To be human is truly a wonderful thing! So I arrived in Korea, my bag packed with hardly anything, heart full of joy, and head full of dreams and high hopes. Those first few weeks went beyond any dreams and hopes I could have had. Everyone was very loving; everyone was excited; everyone was welcoming. I met people and felt we instantly became friends. The generosity of Koreans I think was what was really overwhelming. Everyone was constantly giving me something. It was touching and I think it made me feel extremely welcome.
There were some surprises like a realisation that I was not going to instantly love Korean food which made every meal difficult. But it did turn every meal time into a chance for true heartfelt prayer "Oh God please; please help me to eat this food, please God You know I have to do this so Father please do a miracle." How I know God answers every prayer - by the end of four years I was getting to the point of preferring Korean food to western style food. Though I never did quite get into eating kimchi (fermented cabbage with spices that is eaten with every meal)!
But I arrived ready to work for God - I believed ready to do anything for Him. My work was at a church so I was thrown into Korean life and culture immediately. Firstly attending the daily early morning church services -5am, secondly doing house visitations along with other pastoral staff. Thirdly leading and teaching at our church's English Ministry for children, and then also teaching English in our church's kindergarten.
I now don't remember exactly but I think the first 6 or so months - though filled with moments of loneliness were just amazing. I could not stop thanking God for prayers answered beyond anything I could have asked or imagined.
But how does it happen? How do exciting, new things become annoying, old things?
It is strange that there is something about going to another land to work for God which makes people to think you have become holier. But what's even stranger is having the same feeling about yourself. That somehow that journey from your home to a new country to serve God will make you holier all by itself. I think in my mind's eye when I thought of being a missionary I was always a lot holier. All the petty sins that had been a problem when I was at home were not a problem in my vision of life on the mission field. But apparently that air-plane ride did nothing for my holiness. If I was to go on what I learned about myself in Korea I would be tempted to say it drained some holiness out. If only this was so, but in fact, the same person landed in South Korea who had left Zimbabwe but facing new pressures brought out sides of me I never knew existed.
At first things were interesting. It was interesting to learn a new language and write it and going from seeing drawings to making out letters and then words and then sentences. It was exciting to see new ways of doing church, and new ways of doing everyday life. But after some time I began to realise how exhausting it all was. At first I was content to be an outsider and a novelty because I felt that way. But after a while things were no longer so novel and I wanted to be an insider but I could never be. Whatever I did I was an obvious foreigner. I could not walk down the street without feeling like a rock star for all the attention my mere presence got. At first it was cute and interesting when people wanted to touch my hair and skin. After all, I had seen it happen when we went to rural areas with white people. But it's different to experience this on a one week mission trip and to have it be your life. After a while I didn't want people touching my hair and touching my skin and being amazed every time I walked into the room.
I was tired and eventually the loneliness was getting to me too. Until that time I had never known loneliness can become a physical ache in your body. I was so lonely it hurt. I had friends but because of the language barrier our conversations remained shallow. I did not know any foreigners and because of the heavy schedule I never had time to meet anyone. I missed having constant spiritual input and fellowship. I missed having relationships that challenged me spiritually. I missed interacting without having to make so much effort. I missed the parts of me which could not be expressed in Korea because no-one would get it. I missed Sundays at home where I would go to church then spend the day with my family. Everything was getting hard. I was beginning to feel disappointed in people from whom I had expected so much. I had thought I had made friendships but realised that after the initial excitement of friendship with a foreigner most people lost interest because it was too hard to keep interacting with me.
Then there was the dawning understanding that came with knowing Korean, the terrible understanding of African stereotypes. I remember when I first started attending Korean lessons. Two of my teachers asked me how I was experiencing Korea - whether or not I had faced discrimination since arriving there. At the time I had enthusiastically replied that I had had no such experience, much to my own surprise. But with growing understanding of Korean came knowledge of what people truly thought of me. That they were surprised I was intelligent, that they thought I had come to learn from them so I could return and teach my people. As an African I would have been at the bottom of the Korean society ‘worth of people scale' if it was not for the fact that I spoke good English. I was heartbroken listening to missionaries because it became obvious that in all their missionary efforts they had never truly befriended African people - they had ministered to them but had never gotten to a place where they respected them enough to see them as having something worthwhile to give to them so they could never be on an equal footing.
After a while I think my heart just closed to Koreans - there was so much anger and bitterness towards them. But as this went on for about a year I began to realise that in my hatred of them I was becoming exactly what I had resented them for. I saw their sin as so unforgivable that I decided that I could not be in relationship with them. I was rapidly becoming a missionary who would minister without building relationship. I could not receive from them because they were racist. They became defined by that in my mind and nothing else about them was valid or useful to me. Finally God broke through and I realised I could not continue in this way. But my heart was so deeply broken because I had walked this road before with white people and I was quite honestly just tired. I looked to the future and all I could see was an uphill battle wherever I would go. Always belittled, always disrespected; always looked down upon. At one point I just said to God "I wanted to be a missionary but it's not worth it - the pain, the racism, the loneliness, I am sorry God after this year is done I am going home and I will never do missions again."
I was just tired and so I went to God. I think I went expecting Him to help me to forgive and then to heal and then to forget. But He surprised me by showing me things deeper than I had ever realised.
He showed me that I too had valued people in the way that I saw Koreans doing, by possessions not by the fact that they were created in God's image, such that those from wealthier more powerful countries appeared more worthy of respect. So I was not able to stand when faced with being evaluated in a similar way. Their valuation of me became how I saw myself. I think though what was most precious was how He gave me new eyes to see the Cross. I remember at one point looking at Korean missionaries and thinking "How can You send them?" and at that moment the Spirit just spoke and said "The same way I can send you." That broke me and all the bitterness I had been carrying for so long. How easy it is to judge others for their sin and in so doing commit the very same sin! If
I looked in my heart for just a second I could see the very same sins that I had judged them for. I too was becoming prejudiced against and could see nothing good in Koreans. Yet God continued to work in and through me. I realised then how the Cross has the power to convict us of our sin and yet also draw us close to the Father. God had allowed me to go to Korea not because I was a great woman of God but because of His grace which makes it possible for jars of clay to hold great treasures.
It was a hard thing but I began to realise while the colour of my skin was a hard thing to deal with, it was truly an opportunity for the gospel. Like when the small children I would teach would ask "why is your skin brown and your hair weird?" it would present an opportunity to talk about how great God is in creating many different kinds of people. Or once on the bus when a man started talking to me - fascinated by my foreignness - and the Spirit gave me a nudge to remind me not to brush him off - our conversation turned to deeper things and suddenly he was sharing about his deep loneliness and living his life mainly through his computer. Those moments I would realise once I understood the call to lay down my life (my rights, my comforts) for the sake of Christ, God could take it and use it in amazing ways.
But, lest it seem that Korea was nothing but hard and Koreans nothing but racist, I must add that there were many Koreans who were well aware of this prejudice in their society and constantly sought to encourage me. There are many things that are truly special about being a missionary. It is priceless to share in the lives of people whom you would otherwise have never thought you could even speak to. What was and is most precious about Korea? It is the fact that I knew what it was to walk into the hearts of people whom I would seem to share nothing in common with. Like my little students Jiwoo and Minseo who would kiss me everytime I walked into my class. And all the other little ones who would get shocked when they discovered I was not Korean - they were so convinced I was just a tanned Korean with weird hair! My Chinese friend who listened to me when my heart was weak and about to give up and pumped God's word into it to give me life again. And my friend from the Philippines who let me cry and spoke truth that reminded me that I must not value myself by man's opinions. Or my Korean friend and her husband whose passion for God re-ignited mine and reminded me that to follow Christ was to give up my life - was to die. What was most precious about Korea was what made it most painful. People. These relationships and many others reminded me that God is at work bringing His people together so that one day we will stand before His throne together and worship Him forever!
I spent four years in Korea and though they were hard I am grateful for the things God taught me. It made me realise something - missions is about love. Missions is about God's love for His people - of all nations, tribes, peoples and languages, His love for them is why He calls us to go. But interestingly also His great love for us is why He calls us to go too. He knows that our greatest joy comes from participating with Him in His purposes and being made like Him, and missions achieves both those. What makes us move to go is His great love shown to us - Christ on the Cross - that love keeps us moving forward through hurt and hardship. Then we love because He first loved us. That love enables us to love those whom He sends us to. Christ's love compels us.
Now I have returned home with a very specific desire in my heart. I could have chosen to stay in Korea and support raise and gone on to another nation. But God seemed to be shaping my heart to move in a different direction, namely to return home and raise support from here. Mainly to involve the church in my country in the process and therefore reminding people of God's heart for the nations. It is a scary prospect in some ways. But I find comfort in what I have learned about God over the years. Firstly, His greatness and ability to do anything. Secondly that His passion for missions is infinitely greater than mine will ever be. Thirdly that nothing can stop His purposes. However things go as I begin this new journey as I prepare to be sent to the unreached, I am comforted by these truths. Perhaps I may not find myself in quite the place I desire but I have learnt to trust Him with my life a little more than I did before. I know that He will work out things according to His purposes and that will bring Him the greatest glory. For "Our God is in the heavens and He does whatever He pleases!" Psalm 115. [xvi]
(After some time in Zimbabwe, God lead Vimbiso back to Korea, where she is currently continuing to serve.)
Brian Mulipah’s story
On Saturday 12th of January 2002 at 5pm, while I was at a bar, waiting for a friend who was going to introduce me to an Ecstasy-dealer so that I could start drug peddling, I had a conversation with God. I had just returned from a Missions Training class that was being run at my church and so I was still feeling the “hype” of being with God’s people. The conversation that I had with Him started with me deciding to be honest with God and myself. Here is the conversation I had with Him:
Me: You know what, God, I love beer.
God: I love you Brian
Me: Lord you know I want to stop drinking but I can’t. I have tried it before.
God: I love you Brian
Me: Okay, I am going to stop drinking but I am going to need your help. If you will help me, I know I can stop drinking, I know I can.
God: Brian, I want to walk with you and show you something.
Me: Okay God, I will stop drinking and live for you. My everything.
God: I want to walk with you for one year and show you something. If after that you are not interested, you can just leave it, it’s okay. But for you to walk with me and do this, you have to stop what you are doing.
Me: Okay Lord, I will stop drinking and smoking and I will follow you.
God: I want you to walk with me for one year and I will show you something. If you are not interested, then it’s okay.
Me: Alright! Thanks God.
The Missions Training School was 3 months long, divided into 2 parts- the lecture phase and the outreach part. I enjoyed the lecture phase particularly because nobody knew about my secret life and so nobody judged me or call me names. Because of that, I spent more time with my new Christian friends and I did blend in quite well. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it for the outreach because I did not have any funds for the fees. The fees were not too high but the only way of fund-raising for me was through selling marijuana or stealing change from guys who sent me to buy the next round of beer so this became a no, no for me. I wasn’t going to raise my outreach fees by stealing or drug peddling.
The outreach fees were $12 but I only managed to raise $1.50 in honesty. The training school leaders had a meeting and decided they were going to let me attend the outreach with that $1.50 and that became an answer to a prayer I never said. This also became the beginning of a series of visible miracles in my life in missions. For outreach, we went to Bulawayo, a city I had vowed to never visit. The city is in the province of the Ndebele tribe and growing up; I was taught to believe that they were bad people. Nevertheless, I was both scared and excited to visit the city. Scared of being in a city of bad people and excited of being in a new place.
During this outreach phase, we were living on a Youth With A Mission (YWAM) centre and so I sort of learned a bit about their programs and I liked them. They always talked about knowing God and making Him known and I guess this is how I started to have a desire to know God. For some reason, God became more interesting. He seemed to have stepped out of the bible which was a “nice book” for me at that time to becoming almost visible in many instances. After the outreach, I decided to go on and do a Discipleship Training school with Youth with a Mission (YWAM).
I applied for the September 2002 DTS and I was accepted but again I didn’t have any funds for the tuition fees. I spent a lot of time praying for God’s provision for the school fees. Friends who were also praying for me would often tell me not to worry, “God has opened a door for you and you will make it”, they would insist but, I never knew what that meant.
One day while returning from a weekend outreach, I was offered a ride back home b
y one of the church members. On the way back, talked about a lot of things in life, then she asked me what I was doing with my life. Here is the short conversation that I had with her:
Lady: So, what are you doing with your life? Any plans?
Me: Well, I am planning on doing the Discipleship Training School at Youth With A Mission in Bulawayo.
Lady: Wow! That’s good to know. I am glad you are doing something with your life. So, do you have all of the fees yet?
Me: Well, no, I got none of the money. (Feeling somewhat hopeless)
Lady: Well, I could support you with something small towards your fees. Are you coming to church tomorrow? I could give you the money there.
Me: Wow! Thank you very much. Yes, I am coming to church tomorrow.
The next day was a Sunday and I went to church. After the church service, she came and handed me an envelope with a Cheque that had the complete school fees and extra funds that were enough for my groceries and bus fare to Bulawayo! She didn’t even know my name so she wrote a blank cheque!
On the 12th of January 2013, exactly one year after my first conversation with God, we were being commissioned to go on outreach in Botswana; to preach the gospel to all nations. The DTS lecture phase had just ended and now we were preparing to go for the outreach. Just before the commissioning, I had another conversation with God. This time He is the one who started it and here it goes:
God: Well, we have been together for one year now, what do you think? You want in or you don’t?
Me: (I don’t remember my exact words but it went something like this) Lord, thank you so much. I will live for you; It is an honour to be in a relationship with you. Send me wherever you want and I will go. Here I am Lord, send me. I love you lord.
The Whisper That Echoes Through Africa Page 6