by Julie Kagawa
“Well, Razor says we are, but I’m not entirely sure about his definition of close,” Kenzie replied. “Anyway, I think stopping soon is a good idea. I’ll see if he can find us somewhere safe.”
A few minutes later, when the wyldwood was almost at full dark, we trailed the gremlin to a stand of massive trees so huge, a ring of six people wouldn’t be able to fit their arms around the trunks. They soared overhead until they were lost to the canopy and the darkness, so high I couldn’t see the tops of the branches. Luminescent blue moss hung in curtains from the trunks and lower branches, fluttering in the wind like glowing lace curtains.
I crossed my arms, looking at Kenzie. “Here? How is this considered a safe place to stop? We’ll be right out in the open. Unless your gremlin thinks we’re going to climb the trees.”
Razor wrinkled his nose at me, then buzzed quietly in Kenzie’s ear. She nodded, then stepped forward and pushed back the moss like a pair of drapes, revealing a large, dry, hollowed-out space in the enormous trunk.
“Okay.” I nodded, as Razor shot me a look of triumph. “That’ll work.”
The strange moss bathed the inside of the trunk with an eerie glow, as Kenzie knelt and unzipped her backpack. The night was warm, and the trunk blocked the wind, so it wasn’t cold enough for a fire. Which was good, because I didn’t think open flames in a large wooden room was the best idea.
“Here,” Kenzie said, handing me a power bar and a bottled water. “That’s dinner for tonight, sorry. I only have a couple each. There was lot of stuff to pack, so I had to make some sacrifices for space.”
“No complaints here.” I settled against the wall and tore open the wrapper. “That magic bag of yours has already saved our hides a couple times now. At this point, I keep expecting you to pull out a car or something.”
She chuckled. “I’m gonna have to stock up on salt, it seems. I had no idea it would be so effective. I wonder if there’s a way to make salt grenades.” She took a sip of water and leaned close, her slender arm brushing mine. Razor crawled up the wall until he found a small ledge jutting from the trunk, and perched there like a tiny gargoyle. “Do you think Guro is all right?” Kenzie asked after a moment.
“I hope so,” I muttered, crumpling the wrapper in my fist. “The Forgotten were after me, not him. I just hope they keep looking for us and leave him and his family alone.”
Kenzie went quiet, chewing on her bar. I fell silent, too, thinking, and in the stillness, the questions rose up, taunting me. Now that we weren’t running for our lives or trying to find a way through the Nevernever, a thousand uncertainties crowded my mind, slipping past my defenses. Annwyl. Was she alive? Could we find her and the amulet before it was too late? My parents. Was Mom crying herself to sleep every night, waiting for me? Would I ever get to go home?
And Keirran. My stupid, stubborn, infuriating nephew. How were we going to deal with him? To get his soul back, Guro said he had to destroy the amulet himself. Willingly. I remembered the Keirran at the war council, the faery with flat, cold eyes, and the impossibility of the task seemed overwhelming. That Keirran was not going to do anything we asked of him. That Keirran would probably shove another sword through my guts and then cut off my head to make sure he killed me this time.
“Ethan?” Kenzie asked in a hesitant voice, staring straight ahead. “Can I ask you something?”
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with questions. “Sure.”
“You were gone for over four months.” Turning, she gazed at me, not angry, just puzzled. And maybe a little hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me you were still alive? All that time, back in the human world, I thought you were dead. Why didn’t you send word, let me know you were okay?”
I swallowed hard. Oh, yeah. She hadn’t known I was asleep that whole time. Maybe I should’ve explained that little fact earlier. “I couldn’t,” I murmured back. “After Keirran stabbed me, I was in a coma for a long time. I’ve really only been awake a few days now, and when I woke up, everything was crazy, with Keirran and the war. I didn’t have time to do anything.” She blinked, looking relieved that there was an explanation, that I hadn’t just forgotten about her. I could see it in her eyes, the fear that I’d left her behind again.
Reaching out, I tugged her toward me, and she relented without hesitation, sliding over my leg and sitting down between my knees. I wrapped my arms around her stomach and leaned in, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to worry you,” I said quietly, as she relaxed against me. “I would’ve sent word if I could.”
She sighed, reaching back and burying her fingers in my hair. I half closed my eyes, just holding her, feeling the rise and fall of her breath. In this small pocket of reality, everything was peaceful. Overhead, fireflies bobbed through the air like stars, and luminescent moths floated lazily past, attracted to the glowing curtain of moss. I let myself relax a bit, feeling content, at least for the moment. Kenzie was here, and nothing had attempted to eat my face off. Pretty good day in the Nevernever so far.
Kenzie sighed. “I wish we could stay here, sometimes,” she whispered, sounding wistful all of a sudden. “In the Nevernever. I wish we didn’t have to go home.”
Mildly alarmed, I raised my head. “We have to go back, Kenzie,” I said, and she didn’t answer, raising my concern. “We can’t stay here,” I insisted. “What about your family? And school? If we stay here too long, everything in the real world will pass us by. There won’t be anything left that we remember.”
“Yeah,” Kenzie muttered, but she didn’t sound convinced. “I know. I wasn’t being serious. It’s just...” Her voice faltered. “I’m scared, Ethan. The past few months have been...rough.” She sighed again, her gaze dark and far away. “I didn’t mean to complain. Sometimes it just gets to me, that’s all. Sometimes I wish I had the same chance as everyone else.”
My stomach prickled, even as the girl shook herself, as if coming out of her dark mood. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” she said brightly. “I know we can’t stay here, tough guy. Don’t freak out on me.” She tilted her head back, resting it on my shoulder. “When we finish this thing with Keirran and Annwyl, I fully intend to go home and face whatever nuclear explosion my dad has in store when he sees us again.”
I frowned. There was something else, something she wasn’t telling me. Normally, Kenzie didn’t let anything get to her, but ever since she’d come back to Faery, she seemed slightly different. “What happened?” I asked, making her stiffen. “Those months where I was gone, you said they were bad. What happened to you?”
“Nothing,” Kenzie answered quickly, hunching her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, Ethan. It’s over now. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Kenzie.” She slumped, and I lowered my voice, pleading. “Please. I want to know. Was it...your sickness?”
She sighed. “Yeah,” she finally whispered. “I...um... Dammit, I didn’t want to explain it here, but I guess you should know.”
She hesitated, took a deep breath. I sat perfectly still, waiting for her to go on, reminding myself that it couldn’t be too terrible. Kenzie was here, after all. That’s what mattered now.
“After I heard you...died,” she began in a faltering voice, “I got sick. Really sick. I was transferred back to my home hospital, and I didn’t leave for a long time. They...they were afraid that this might be it, that I wasn’t going to get better this time. It was kind of touch and go for a while.” She swallowed, and I held her tighter, feeling my stomach twisting in on itself. “Of course, I wasn’t helping anything,” she went on. “I thought you were dead, and that I had killed you when I sent you off with Keirran. I was...well, I was pretty depressed. I wasn’t even trying to get better.”
I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead to the back of her skull. Kenzie wove her fingers through mine and squeezed.
“I did, eventually,” she finally whispe
red. “I rallied, pulled out of it, and they finally sent me home. At that point, I couldn’t even bear to look at the fey again. Razor hadn’t left my side the whole time I was in the hospital. But when I got home, I sent him back to the Iron Realm. I told him to go home, too.”
On the wall, Razor looked up from a ledge jutting out of the trunk, his eyes solemn and knowing. I remembered his stubborn insistence, remembered the way Keirran had struggled to make him do anything. “Did he really leave?” I asked.
“He didn’t want to.” Kenzie sounded remorseful and a little guilty. “But, I made him, in the end. I thought it would be better that way.” She sighed, bowing her head. “I was in a pretty bad place, Ethan. Everyone assumed you had run off, or had gotten yourself thrown in prison. And, of course, I couldn’t talk to anyone about what really happened. My dad wanted me to go to therapy. I refused, and we fought about it for a while.
“And then, one night, Razor came back.” Kenzie glanced at the gremlin perched on the ledge. “I was surprised. I never expected to see him again. But he said you were still alive and in the Iron Realm. I didn’t believe it at first, but Razor was absolutely certain.” She paused, trailing her fingers down my arm, making my skin prickle. “So, naturally, I decided to come find you. I made plans with Razor, put together everything I would need and had him take me into the Nevernever. So, yeah. Here we are.”
I shook my head, imagining Kenzie trekking through the Nevernever, alone, following a gremlin toward Mag Tuiredh. “What about your dad?”
“He doesn’t know where I am,” Kenzie said without hesitation or remorse. “And, after everything that’s happened, he’ll probably think I ran away. Again. But, whatever. I’ll deal with him when I get back, when this thing with Keirran and the amulet and the Forgotten is done. I couldn’t stay home. Once I heard you were still alive...” She shivered, her voice breaking a little, before she composed herself again. “I had to be certain.”
“Kenzie...” I didn’t want to ask, didn’t really want to know, but... “What’s your condition now?” I asked, and felt her tense. The lump in my gut got bigger, and I closed my eyes. “You’re not really better, are you?”
“No,” Kenzie replied calmly. “The prognosis the same as before. I’m...supposed to go in for more tests next month. Provided I get out of Faeryland in time.” She squeezed my arm before I could protest. “But I don’t regret this, Ethan. And I wouldn’t have changed anything, so don’t tell me I should be home. There’s no way I could stay there, wondering if you were alive.”
I strengthened my hold on her, my throat suddenly tight. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, thinking of those long, awful months where Kenzie had been left behind. I’d been unconscious or insensible through most of it; Mackenzie had had to live through it all, dealing with the aftermath, thinking I was dead. Battling her sickness alone. “I wish I could have been there.”
Kenzie shifted in my arms so that she was kneeling in front of me. Soft fingers brushed my cheek, making my breath catch, as she gazed down with solemn brown eyes.
“You’re here now,” she whispered. “I’m just grateful for that. It’s not every day your boyfriend comes back from the dead.” A wry smile tugged at one corner of her lips, before she sobered once more. “I guess we both dodged that bullet.”
I gently pulled her down and kissed her. She instantly pressed forward, sliding her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I leaned back, drawing us both down until I was on my back, and Kenzie was perched above me. She didn’t hesitate, pressing her lips to mine, sliding her hands over my chest and shoulders. When her fingers slipped below my shirt, tracing my skin, I groaned. Pulling her close, I kissed her neck, trailing my mouth down her jaw, and Kenzie sighed against me.
“Kissy,” buzzed Razor’s voice from the ledge, dousing me with figurative ice water. “Kissy kissy, funny boy! Ha-ha!”
I groaned, letting my arms drop to the ground, and gave Kenzie a defeated look. She shook her head and sat up, a resigned smile on her lips.
“I suppose we should wait until we have a little more privacy,” she whispered, resting her palms on my chest. “Where gremlins and nosy faeries aren’t hovering around, watching our every move.”
“If that’s even possible,” I grumbled, sliding my hands up her arms. Her body felt good against mine, and I didn’t want to stop. But there was no way I would keep going while Razor was here, cackling at us from the ledge, seeing everything. The mortification would be too much. “Just remember, you wanted the Sight,” I said in a teasing voice. “And all the faery madness that came with it. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.”
Kenzie sighed. “It would be nice to take a bath without putting salt around the windowsill all the time.”
“Saint-John’s-wort,” I told her. “It works wonders. The flower, not the pill. I started buying it wholesale online just to keep faeries out of my room. Just make sure you replace it when it wilts or goes bad. Nothing like having a pisky pop into your bathroom when you’re in the shower.”
Kenzie laughed, then trailed her fingers down my cheek, her eyes suddenly intense. “I love you, Ethan,” she said softly, making my heart skip a beat. “You know that, right?”
“I love you, too,” I rasped, feeling my stomach twist with the understanding. “But, Kenzie, we’re still alive. We’re not going anywhere yet. It was close, we both got really lucky, but—” I reached up and smoothed a strand of hair from her eyes “—we’re still here. We have a little time.”
“I hope so.” Kenzie shifted again and settled into me, laying her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, feeling her heart beat, basking in the warmth. “There are still things I want to do.”
* * *
She was asleep a few minutes later, curled against me with her cheek on my shoulder, her breaths deep and slow. That was another thing I’d learned about Kenzie: she could fall asleep just about anywhere. Unlike me. I was way too paranoid to sleep in the wyldwood, particularly when we were out in the open. I was scared of waking up in a cage, or a pot, or halfway down some monster’s throat. If something did attack us in the Nevernever, I wanted to see it coming.
The night went on. On the ledge, Razor curled up and fell asleep as well, tiny buzzing snores coming from his fanged mouth. I shifted carefully, pillowing Kenzie’s head on my leg, letting her stretch out beside me. She mumbled something that included the words greyhound and tacos but didn’t wake up.
Crossing my arms, I leaned back and waited for morning, listening to the soft snores of my companions. Inside our shelter, everything was quiet, though I could hear things moving around outside, rustling branches and crunching leaves. Sometimes, a cry or a guttural snarl would echo somewhere in the forest, and at one point, I thought I heard singing, but it was too faint to make out the words.
“Ethan Chase.”
I jerked up. That was perfectly clear, a whisper filtering through the mossy curtain, coming from outside. It knew me, whatever it was, and it knew I was here.
Silently, I reached for my swords and drew them from their sheaths. Careful not to disturb Kenzie, I gently eased away from her, resting her head on her backpack before facing the opening, holding my blades at the ready. If something came lunging through the hole, it would get a sharp length of steel jammed through its teeth before I let it touch my girlfriend.
“We mean you no harm, Ethan Chase.” The whisper came again, sounding a few yards outside the trunk. “We only wish to talk. Please, come out and face us.”
Oh, great. There was more than one of them. I sighed, looking down at the girl. Sleep was precious in the Nevernever, and Kenzie needed to rest. I didn’t want to disturb her, though I was reluctant to leave her alone, too. But better that I go out and see what they wanted, rather than wait until they shoved their way into the trunk after me.
I
debated for a minute, then rose quietly and looked at Razor, snoozing soundly on his ledge.
“Razor,” I whispered. “Can you hear me? Wake up.”
No answer. I stepped forward, raised my arm and prodded him with the flat of the blade. “Hey, wake up.”
He buzzed, twitched, and then glowing green eyes cracked open, peering blearily over the edge. “Quit it, funny boy,” he muttered, drawing farther back, away from my sword tip. “Go ’way. Stop poking Razor.”
Oh, that’s hilarious. The gremlin is telling me to stop bugging him. “I have to go outside,” I said quietly, and he frowned down at me. “Something is out there, calling my name. I have to see what it is and what it wants.” I cast a quick glance over my shoulder at the still-sleeping girl. “Keep an eye on Kenzie until I get back, okay? Make sure nothing happens to her. If something comes in, or the instant something weird starts happening, let me know. Can you do that, Razor?”
Suddenly wide-awake, the gremlin bounced to his feet, nodding furiously. “Razor help!” he exclaimed, thankfully in a buzzing whisper. “Razor guard pretty girl, not let anything happen to her.”
“Good,” I whispered, sheathing my sword. Not perfect, but the screeching of an alarmed gremlin would certainly let me know if anything went wrong. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I walked past the gremlin, pushed myself through the curtain of glowing moss and stepped into a moonlit grove full of fey.
Dryads. Dozens of them, as far as I could tell. Tall and willowy, with bark-like skin and huge black eyes, their slender bodies resembling the trees they were attached to. My heart beat faster, and I forced my hands away from my swords. Dryads had never harmed me in the past; the tree spirits usually kept themselves aloof and distant from the politics of the courts, only intervening when something big was at stake. Seeing so many of them here, staring at me with shiny black eyes, filled me with dread.