His lids dropped and his nostrils flared, and I started coming, harder than the night on his desk, harder than I ever had in my life. My thighs shook, my mouth fell open, Tomas’s name tumbling from my lips over and over as I pulsed against his greedy mouth. His fingers still fucked me, not letting up until he’d wrung every last spasm from me, until I collapsed in a heap against the back of the couch.
I felt him carefully withdraw his fingers, then he pressed tender kisses against my inner thigh.
“So fucking beautiful,” he rasped.
I opened my eyes as he stood, and there was no way to miss the huge bulge behind his zipper. I realized I wanted to return the favor, that I wanted to take him in my mouth and suck him until he lost control as well. Honestly, that was a revelation for me. I’d never done that before and enjoyed it. Ryan had made sure of that.
It wasn’t conscious, but just thinking about him must have made me freeze up or something because I was hauled off the couch by Tomas and held tight in his arms.
He cupped the side of my face, looking into my eyes, and shook his head. “Don’t let him in here with us, Angel.”
Then he kissed me, deep and hungry. I could taste myself on his tongue, reminding me of what we’d just done and how good it was, how perfect.
When he lifted his head, I shook mine. “It wasn’t a bad thing…I just, I realized that I wanted to give back to you what you just gave to me, that I wanted to take you in my mouth as well.” I swallowed, my mouth watering for a taste of him. “I guess it took me by surprise.”
His gaze searched mine. “Why is that?”
He still held me in his arms and I loved the way it made me feel. I never wanted him to let me go. I could feel his hard cock against me and it made it hard to think clearly, which was probably why I said more than I should. “Ryan used it as a punishment. It was never really voluntary. It was rough and…” I shook my head. “I never thought I’d ever want to do that again, but…” I smiled unable to hide the bubble of hope inside me that I could move forward, that I wouldn’t let Ryan ruin my future like he had my past. “But I do, I want to, with you.”
Tomas went impossibly still, his expression going from lust filled to hard as hell. “It wasn’t voluntary?” he said in a calm voice that was anything but calm and sent shivers down my spine.
I sucked my lips in and bit down. Shit. Why did I tell him that? “I’m okay,” I said, knowing it for the lie it was, because I would never be okay with what Ryan had done to me while I was with him. I hated him with everything in me.
“He forced you?” he said, voice like rusted steel.
And there it was again, that look in his eyes. I was back to being his broken little bird. I hated it. So. Damn. Much. “Don’t,” I said. “Don’t look at me like that.”
He flinched. “Like what?”
“Like I’m some wounded creature that you’re afraid will break if you don’t handle it like it’s fragile. I’m not fragile, Tomas.”
His eyes didn’t leave mine, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “Baby, you think I don’t know how strong you are? Christ, woman, I’ve never, never known anyone stronger than you. But someone hurt you, someone you trusted, someone who should have worshiped the ground you walked on. You don’t just get over that.” Another brush of his thumb. “So, no, I don’t think you’re fragile, but, Angel, I don’t want to do anything to hurt you or, fuck”—his expression grew more intense—“scare you. It would fucking kill me if I ever did that. So I need you to be open with me, tell me what’s okay and what’s not. You have the control in this. All of it. Understand?”
My lip started to quiver and my eyes stung. God, what was he doing to me?
His eyes softened. “You’re not fragile, Steph, but I’m always going to treat you with care. Always. So get used to it.”
The emotion welling inside me overflowed and I pressed my face against his chest, wrapping my arms around him, and hung on as the tears started flowing. He held me as well, just as tight, and I realized something, something huge.
I was totally and completely in love with Tomas Mendoza.
And there was no going back.
Tomas
I could hear the music coming from the gym, a sexy pulsing beat as I walked down the hall. Steph had been going down there every afternoon for the past week. My angel loved to dance. But it wasn’t just the act of dancing she craved. I knew that when she danced at Stilettos, on stage at least, it had given her an escape, a measure of control. Something she had definitely needed then.
I knew she missed it since she wasn’t working.
She’d agreed not to go into the club until we found Ryan. And I’d started seeing a change in her the last few days especially. She seemed antsy, on edge, until she came down here, turned up the music, and lost herself.
That feeling wasn’t something I could give her. She needed the stage and the lights, the audience. I was doing everything I could to give her what I thought she needed, and it fucking killed me that it wasn’t enough.
I pushed the door open and, like always, the sight of her moving to the music stole my breath. As I watched her, so soft and beautiful—my angel—I had to fight down the rage inside me. I was doing my best to keep it from her, all of it, my life outside this house, and the clawing need to find Ryan and end him. He’d abused her in every way a man could a woman, and she was still standing, so fucking strong, so brave.
That fucking piece of shit wouldn’t be standing when I was done with him.
He wouldn’t be breathing either.
I’d made her come for me many times this last week until she was boneless, until she passed out. I just wanted to make her happy. Giving that to her was fucking everything, and as much as I wanted her under me, until she was ready, until she looked me in the eyes and asked me to take it there, I’d give her what she could handle.
Pleasuring her, fuck, nothing felt so good. Every time she screamed my name, coming around my fingers, against my mouth, rubbing up on me, that motherfucker got pushed farther and farther away. She hadn’t frozen up on me or gone into her own head, not this past week.
Ryan wasn’t with us, he wasn’t in the room, forcing his way into her mind when I touched her, not anymore. It was just her and me.
She spun, her beautiful red hair sliding across her back, and she spotted me standing by the door. She stopped dancing and jogged to her phone to turn off the song she had pumping through the speakers.
“Hey,” she said, walking toward me, cheeks flushed.
I caught her up in my arms when she reached me.
“Have you finished for the day?” she asked.
“I have.” I tucked her hair behind her ear.
She grinned. “So you what? Got bored and thought you’d come looking for a private dance?”
I loved her like this, after she’d been down here dancing. The stress that I saw on her face would go for a little while. She liked to tease me. I fucking loved it.
“You know there’s no other stripper I’d rather have in my lap.”
She poked me in the chest. “I prefer exotic dancer, thank you very much. I’m a professional, and moves like mine don’t come cheap.”
I slid my thumb under her bottom lip. Her lips were red. They were that color all the time, even without lipstick. Like candy apples. “I like your moves.”
Her gaze dropped to my groin, to the obvious bulge there. “I noticed.”
I smirked. “I always try to make a lasting impression.”
She nodded. “You don’t have to worry about anything on that front.” She tilted her head. “I hope you don’t walk around like that in front of poor Arthur. He’d be mortified.”
I chuckled. Arthur had seen far worse in his time with me, but I chose not to share that with her. Christ, I wanted to suck on that bottom lip. “I’m not too worried, since I only have this problem when I’m around you.”
Her tongue darted out, licking her lip and grazing the tip of my thumb at the same time. I
was hard when I walked in here; now I was rock solid.
“Tomas—”
My phone started ringing. I growled.
She grinned again. “You should probably get that.”
As much as I didn’t want to, she was right. I had men all over this city searching for her husband and I wanted to know the moment they found him. I pulled it from my pocket and put it to my ear. “Mendoza.”
“We all set for tonight?” Stephanie’s boss, Raul, said down the line.
“I was just about to tell her. You make the arrangements?”
“Yeah,” Raul said. “Steph will be safe here. I’ll make sure of that.”
“Thanks for your help with this. I appreciate it.”
Raul made a gruff sound. “She’s one of my girls. You don’t need to thank me,” he said, not sounding happy.
Not a surprise. The guy didn’t have much love for me and he’d had even less since I’d been coming into his club to see Stephanie the past year. I got it, but he’d just have to get over it because she was my girl now.
“See you at ten,” I said and hung up.
Steph was looking up at me. “Where are you going at ten?”
“We are going to Stilettos. I thought you might like to dance.”
Her face lit up. “Really?”
I nodded.
She threw her arms around me. “Thank fuck for that. I’ve been going stir crazy.”
My lips twitched. “Thought so.” I leaned in and kissed her thoroughly, because I had to, and when I lifted my head, her eyes were a little dazed. I liked that, too, a lot.
Her fingernails lightly grazed the back of my neck. “A shift at the club is exactly what I need.”
“Not a shift. You’ve got two dances on stage. No lap dances, and you’re not to go anywhere near the private rooms.”
Another graze of those nails. Fuck, I loved when she did that. “If you say so,” she said. “I know you’re trying to keep me safe. I don’t want to make it harder on you.”
“It has nothing to do with your safety, Angel.”
Her brows rose.
“I think you’ve picked up on the fact that I’m no saint.” I cupped the side of her face. “The last year, I sat back and watched you dance for assholes and said nothing because that was your job and it wasn’t my place. You have to know that went against every part of my nature.” I held her wide gaze. “But things have changed. Woman, I’ve watched you come. I’ve had my hands on you, my mouth. You think I can sit back and watch my girl with someone else, even if it’s your job?” I pressed a kiss to her lips to soften what I was saying. “I’ll give you anything, but I can’t give you that.”
Her mouth opened, closed. “What does Raul say about that?”
I shrugged because what Raul thought—what anyone thought—was irrelevant. All that mattered was that Steph was okay with this change because I couldn’t share her, not like that.
“I need to keep my job, Tomas,” she said. “After this is all over, I’ll have to go back to my old life. I can’t just stay here and hide from the world.”
Her words nailed me in the chest. Did she think I was just playing with her? That what we were doing here had an end date? Christ, how did she not see it?
“Humor me,” I said instead. “Just for now.”
She relaxed and I wanted to fucking howl.
“I think I can do that.” Her smile returned. “I better go pick something to wear.”
Stephanie would work out soon enough that there was no end date. There was no going back to her old life. She owned me, heart and soul.
Somehow I had to make her see it.
10
Stephanie
“So good to see you back up there,” Deb said as she passed by with a tray full of drinks.
I was headed back onto the floor after finishing my second dance for the night and I realized how much I’d needed it. With everything that had happened, the way my life had changed in the last couple of weeks, I’d started to feel like I was spiraling. Yes, Tomas was there to catch me, and I knew he would, but he wouldn’t always be there to do that. He had a life outside of protecting me from Ryan. God, how long before he got tired of the emotional roller coaster I lived on?
I came with a whole heap of baggage, more than anyone should be expected to deal with. How long before he got sick of giving and giving and getting nothing back in return? He must think I’m the most selfish woman in the world. He’d made me come nearly every night, until I couldn’t think straight. I hadn’t touched him, not like that. I could admit some of that was my not wanting to disappoint him.
Tomas exuded something darkly erotic. He was walking, talking sex on a stick, and honestly, it was intimidating. I trusted him with my life. I owed him so much, and I didn’t know how to communicate that to him.
I glanced up and he was in the same place I’d left him. Our table. His eyes were on me, following me as I made my way toward him. My belly swirled. That’s all it took, one look from him and I was wet for him. Only him.
We’d also made no promises to each other. He hadn’t contradicted me when I mentioned going back to my old life when this was over, and that was okay—it was. I never expected anything from him when I went to him for help, and he’d given me more than I could have dreamed. He’d shown me the man under the ink and suits and the hard exterior, and I felt privileged to have been given that.
He’d made me fall head over heels in love with him.
But I didn’t expect promises or a commitment from him. I didn’t expect this to last.
And that was okay.
It didn’t mean I didn’t want it to, though. But I didn’t know how to show him what he meant to me. How to let him know how much I appreciated him and all he’d done for me. How much I wanted him.
An idea came to me, an idea that had butterflies taking flight in my belly. But it excited me as well. I changed course and found Deb, stopping her when she was about to walk out the back. She grinned when I asked her what I wanted and rushed to do what I asked.
I lingered until the song playing was drawing to an end. As I headed back across the bar, I kept my eyes locked on Tomas. No, I didn’t know how to tell him how I felt, but I wanted him to know, whatever the outcome. He thought I was strong and I wanted to be for him and for me.
This was the first step.
I was right there in front of him when the song I’d chosen started, when a woman’s voice echoed around the room.
My hands went to his shoulders and I stepped in between his spread thighs and started moving.
Tomas looked up at me and his nostrils flared, his dark eyes so full of heat I felt like he’d set me alight. For once I didn’t try and avoid that intense stare. I let him see the truth. I hid nothing while the song throbbed through me. While the woman’s voice continued to echo around the room, singing about how she felt, telling him how he made her feel.
Asking him not to let her go.
Tomas’s chest was rising and falling with his harsh breaths as I climbed into his lap. His hands went to my waist, holding me as I dropped my head back. His eyes locked on me as I lifted it back up and moved my body to the music, hoping he’d understand, that he’d hear what she was saying, that he’d know what I was trying to tell him.
The intensity he was throwing off made it hard to keep looking at him, but I did. I refused to look away. I wasn’t broken anymore, and I needed him to see it for himself. It was too soon for me to say what this song blatantly said, but I wanted him to know. I needed him to know.
As the song came to an end, Tomas’s fingers sunk into my hair and he pulled me in for a kiss that made my toes curl and my heart race. I was hot and needy, and God, I wanted him.
His mouth tore from mine, hands either side of my face. “You chose that song for me, didn’t you, Angel?”
“Yes.”
His grip tightened on my waist, fingers flexing, and that intensity sharpened, scorching me alive. “Let’s get out of here.”
I nodded and stood on shaky legs. Tomas stood as well, taking my hand.
Willa appeared out of nowhere and pulled me in to a hug. “You were on fire tonight,” she said, smiling up at me.
I stared back at her in shock. I had no idea how I’d missed her. She’d brightened the pink in her hair and it near glowed under the lights. “You’re here?”
She tilted her head toward Tomas. “He thought I might like to come see you.” She smiled wider. “And he was right.”
“Tomas called you?” I was stunned.
“He called Jude and got him to pass it on.”
I glanced around the room, looking for her man.
“Jude’s coming by later. I’m here with the girls.” She pointed to a table in the corner.
Several women I’d met through Willa sat there, and they waved when they saw me looking. All were girlfriends or wives of the guys who worked at The King Agency, like Willa, except Ruby. She and her fiancé were both agents.
I turned back to Willa and she chuckled at the surprise on my face.
“You’ve been through a lot lately,” she said, expression softening. “If anyone knows what that’s like, it’s us, which also means we know that a night with the girls is exactly what you need.”
I opened my mouth…
“And no arguments.”
I’d heard bits and pieces from her over the last few months. All the woman in that booth had been through some seriously scary stuff and had come out the other side. They were good women, all of them. What would it be like to have friends like that? I’d only just let Willa in after years of having no one. Friends were something else Ryan was threatened by. I realized I wanted to find out.
“We thought we’d make a night of it. You in?” Willa said and gave my arm a squeeze.
I glanced at Tomas, and he smiled. I didn’t miss that it was more than a little strained, but he released my hand. “Have a good night, Angel.”
Glorious Sinner (Lawless Kings, #4.5) Page 9