I held onto him as he carried on into his office. He held me even tighter.
“Fuck, Angel,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
He kicked the door to the office closed as well and leaned against it, holding me to him like he needed the solid oak at his back for support.
I searched his face, confused. “You have nothing to be sorry for, you—”
“I should have known,” he gritted out. “I should have known what that fucker was doing to you. I should have been there. I didn’t protect you.”
I’d never seen him like this. “Tomas, no…”
“He nearly killed you. Jesus fucking Christ, he nearly killed you. I nearly lost you because I was so damn blind, so focused on my own path, my need to prove I was something, that I was more, and I missed it. How the fuck could I have not seen it? I failed you, Stephanie. I fucking failed you.”
“Stop,” I said. “You’re wrong…”
“You called me. That was you, wasn’t it, Angel? You’d call and not speak. I knew it was, but I never thought—”
“You didn’t fail me.” I cupped his face. “You never have. Don’t you see that you saved me?”
He shook his head, expression hard, trying to conceal the emotions hammering him. But there was no hiding the way his big body shook from it, from all he was feeling.
“You saved me,” I said again and pressed my forehead to his chest, kissing him there.
The fingers of one of his hands slid into my hair.
“Angel,’ he rasped.
I kissed him again a little lower, and he shuddered, a soft groan coming from his beautiful mouth. He needed more from me—he had for a while—and he hadn’t pushed. I wanted to give him more now. I needed to do that for him, wanted to so badly I was trembling as well. I started trailing kisses down his chest.
“Steph…”
I wrapped my lips around one of his hard little nipples and sucked.
“Fuck.”
I kissed lower, moving down over his tight abdominal muscles.
“Angel,” he rasped. “You don’t need to do that.”
I tilted my head back, my gaze colliding with his. “I want to, more than anything.”
His nostrils flared, his lips parting on a sharp breath. “If you have any doubts—”
“I don’t,” I said and tugged the front of his PJ pants lower, pressing a kiss just below his belly button.
His eyes darkened and his lips peeled back, exposing his teeth as he sucked in another breath. He didn’t say anything, just watched me. He wasn’t going to stop me, and the thought of finally touching him, tasting him, had me pulsing with need. Tomas didn’t miss it, the way he affected me, and he gritted out a rough curse.
Biting my lip, I dropped to my knees, squeezing my thighs together at the sight of his hard cock visible through the thin fabric still covering him. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath and I could see everything, the bulging veins snaking up his long, thick shaft, the fat head.
I licked my lips, desperate for a taste of him, and Tomas made another of those growling sounds he often made.
I glanced up at him. “It’s…it’s been a long time since I’ve done this.”
His eyes didn’t leave mine as he brushed his fingers over my cheek and cupped my jaw. “Christ, Steph, all you have to do is look at me and you’re the best I’ve ever had.”
How did he always know what I needed to hear? His words gave me courage and I dragged his pants lower. I moaned softly when his cock sprang free. The man was beautiful everywhere. Pre-come was leaking from the head already, and I gripped him in my hand and darted my tongue out to taste.
Tomas’s hands thumped against the solid wood behind him and he spread his legs wider, getting lower, making it easier for me. I took advantage and tentatively sucked the head of his cock into my mouth. His abs and thighs tightened, his fingers curling into fists.
“Christ, Angel, that feels so fucking good.”
The broken, needy way he said it gave me another shot of confidence and I lapped at his thick length, licking every perfect inch of him. He groaned and hissed and bucked, and God, that made me feel so damn good.
Finally, I took him deeper, giving him a few experimental sucks. His head thumped against the door and one of his hands slid to his abs. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. His lids were lowered, dark eyes focused on me. His whiskered jaw clenched, teeth gritted, lips darker, like he’d been biting them. My gaze went back to that inked, rough-skinned hand resting on his tight, tanned abs.
God, he could be carved in marble. Only I knew how hot his skin was, that there was nothing cold about him when it came to me.
I took him deeper, moved faster, stroking the base of his cock with my hand in time with my mouth. His fingers were suddenly thrust into my hair and I stiffened for a split second, but he didn’t fist it hard or force me to take him deeper. He caressed my cheek and brushed his thumb over my jaw, the corner of my mouth. I looked up at him again, needing his eyes on me. This was Tomas—he’d never do anything I didn’t want, anything to hurt me.
The way he was looking at me right then, I felt like the most powerful woman in the world. I had this strong, intense, sexy—at times dark—man at my mercy. And just like he said, I was the one in control.
It was a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time.
He also made me feel beautiful, every part of me, scars and all. Tomas had awakened a part of me I thought I’d lost forever. He made me feel sexy, alive, confident, and I made sure he saw me drop my hand down between my parted thighs, that he felt my moan when my fingers brushed my clit.
His eyes got darker and his nostrils flared. “You nice and wet?” he said.
I nodded.
He cursed.
His eyes stayed on me, watching my fingers work between my thighs, sliding over my slick clit faster and faster.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Gonna come, Angel.”
I sucked harder, letting him know I wanted it. I wanted that from him.
He growled, barking out my name, then he was coming, cock pulsing, body stiffening. I took it all, wanting to do that for him and for me as well. I wanted him to experience the way he made me feel every time he touched me, to know how much I loved giving this to him.
His body was bowstring tight, and he pulsed one last time against my tongue before he slumped back, breathing heavily. I watched it all, so turned on I thought I would combust.
My fingers were still moving between my thighs. I was close, so close. Tomas bent down, brushed my hand away, swung me up into his arms, and pressed me into the door at my back. His mouth slammed down on mine as he slid two thick fingers inside me. I cried out and he deepened the kiss, fucking me with his fingers hard and fast. My hips started moving on their own and I tore my mouth from his, my head falling back against the door on a low moan. Tomas sucked and kissed my jaw, my throat, his mouth moving to my ear.
“So wet, Angel. So fucking hot.”
His panted breaths tickled my skin, lifting goose bumps all over my body, and when his thumb swiped my clit, I started gasping and whimpering.
“Fucking beautiful. Everything. All of it. Every part of you. So fucking perfect,” he rasped against my ear.
Another swipe of his thumb and I was coming, crying out, rolling my hips against his hand while his fingers continued to thrust in and out of me, owning me in a way nobody had before in a way I loved, craved.
“That’s it, my angel, that’s it,” he said rough and deep.
I slumped against him, boneless.
He kissed my lips gently before lowering me, but only for a moment, because then he swung me up in his arms, opened the door, and carried me upstairs to his bedroom.
I felt his lips on my forehead as I was drifting off to sleep. “Rest.”
All I could manage was a contented sigh before I was out like a light.
12
Stephanie
My limbs felt warm and
relaxed as I jogged down the stairs. I was still on a high from the morning in Tomas’s office. I was choosing not to think about Ryan standing outside the house or why he was there. My safety was Tomas’s number one priority—I knew it, I believed it. He’d keep me safe, and I wanted to do the same for him.
I tapped on his office door and walked in. “So do you want to—”
The room was empty.
At the sound of footsteps on the tile floor, I turned.
Arthur smiled warmly. “Good morning.”
“And good morning to you, too.” I smiled back. I liked Arthur; he was good people. “Hey, have you seen, Tomas?”
“He had to step out. He wanted me to tell you he’d be back late, but he’d call you.”
Dread filled me. Had Tomas gone after Ryan? Had his men caught him this morning? I forced a smile. “Thanks for letting me know.”
He dipped his chin. “Do you need anything? Food? Coffee? Juice?”
“I’m fine, but thanks.”
He gave me another warm smile and headed off into the opposite direction.
There was no way I could eat right then, not when Tomas could be out there doing something that could put him behind bars. I slid into the big chair behind his desk, not sure what to do, and on the verge of freaking out. I tried to tell myself I was overreacting, that he’d spent so much time here with me the last couple of weeks he probably had lots to catch up on away from the house.
But the niggling feeling wouldn’t leave me, and the feeling of dread got worse.
Willa’s man, Jude, was a private investigator, an ex-cop, and had known Tomas since they were kids. They weren’t exactly besties or anything, from what she could gather, but there was still a friendship of sorts, a mutual respect.
Without giving myself too much time to think about it, I pulled my phone from my pocket and hit Willa’s number.
She answered on the second ring. “What’s up?”
“Hey, so I wanted to ask you something.” I tried to think of the best way to approach the conversation.
“Are you ready for another night out?”
I’d have smiled if I hadn’t been stressing out. “I actually called for another reason.”
“Shoot,” Willa said.
There was no way to sugarcoat it. Willa could handle it. Jude worked dangerous cases, doing things that made Willa sick with worry all the time. If anyone would understand, it was her. “I’m not sure, but I think Tomas might do something…um, my ex showed up here earlier and I think he might—”
“He didn’t tell you where he was going?” she said.
“I was asleep when he left, and I’m kinda freaking out.”
“He’s with Jude. I promise you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Willa said. “The guys from the agency are helping him with Ryan. They won’t let him do anything reckless.”
I slumped back in Tomas’s big chair. “Thank God.”
“Your man’s kind of intense, huh?”
Willa had worked at the club when Tomas used to come in for his dances, so she’d witnessed that side of him firsthand. “You could say that,” I said.
Willa chuckled but sobered quickly. “It will be okay. Jude will make sure he doesn’t end up in an orange jumpsuit. He promised me nothing bad would happen.” She snorted. “And that man never breaks a promise.”
Her voice had softened talking about her guy, and I loved that my friend had found someone as good as Jude. They were perfect for each other.
“Did Tomas tell you he helped me out a while back?” Willa said.
I sat forward. “No, he didn’t say anything.”
“All that trouble I had with Trent—the blackmail. I went to Tomas for a loan, and instead of holding me to it, he went to Jude.” There was a beat of silence. “If he hadn’t done that…yeah, I can’t even bear to think about where I might be now, what my life would be.”
Trent was Willa’s brother-in-law, and Willa had been raising his and her sister’s daughter since her sister died. Trent decided to use his child, Tilly, to blackmail Willa when he got out of prison for dealing drugs. Things had gotten really bad. But she’d finally allowed Jude in, had trusted him, and since then her world had changed for the better.
I gripped the phone tighter. “He did that?” I knew Tomas did a lot of things that weren’t exactly legal, and I knew lending money was one of those things, but I had no idea Willa had gone to him.
“Yeah.” She was quiet again for a few seconds. “Tell me, how are you? Really?”
I started to say fine, brush it off, hold everything tight to my chest like I always had before. But I didn’t want to be that Stephanie anymore, and Willa wouldn’t let me anyway. She hadn’t let me retreat, not since we started this friendship, and I was glad of it. “I’m scared,” I said. “Scared that this won’t last, that it’ll all go away.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m happy, Willa, happier than I’ve been in so damn long. What if I lose him? What if he gets tired of dealing with all my crap?” I took a shuddering breath. “What if he sees how broken I am and gives up on me?”
There, I’d said it. My biggest fear. I believed Tomas cared for me, that I could trust him with every part of me, but I was broken and I always would be. What I went through with Ryan wouldn’t just go away, not completely. How could I expect Tomas to deal with that—my brokenness, the nightmares, the insecurities, the fear—when it reared its ugly head? Because it would.
I came with baggage.
“You deserve happiness, Steph, so much. You deserve every good thing. I’ve seen the way Tomas looks at you, the way he’s been looking at you for the last year. I can’t believe that he’ll ever give up on you. He loves you. You don’t give up on the people you love.”
He loved me? Did he? Could he?
“Look, Jude doesn’t know much about Tomas’s family, but he did say that his father was the kind of man who demanded obedience from his family,” Willa said.
My stomach flipped. “And if they disobeyed?”
“Jude saw…bruises. Tomas tried to hide them, but they all saw. His mother, too. People knew he hit her, but she would always cover for him. She—”
“I…I need to go.” I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.
“Steph—”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. Tomas doesn’t talk much about himself. That was…it was helpful.”
“Stephanie—”
“I’ll talk to you soon.” I hung up, finding it suddenly hard to breathe.
A repetitive sound like little bells came from the bottom drawer of Tomas’s desk—a familiar sound, the one I’d chosen on my old phone for text messages. I opened the drawer and sure enough, there it was. With a trembling hand, I picked it up and looked down at the messages.
I scrolled through them, hundreds that Ryan had sent me since Tomas took my phone. Some pleading, begging me to come back. My lack of response saw them getting more and more vicious, violent.
There was one reply to Ryan.
It had been sent this morning after we’d seen him across the street, after Tomas had carried me back up to bed. Two words.
She’s mine.
I blinked down at those two words, then the ones below them. Ryan’s response.
You’re dead. I’m going to cut you into tiny pieces and deliver them to her then I’m going to kill her as well, nice and slow.
I started shaking. Ryan would do it. He’d kill Tomas the first chance he got. He’d kill him without a second thought.
Losing Tomas…I couldn’t think about it.
I loved him.
The shaking got more intense.
And now I knew what drove him, the reason Tomas was so determined to protect me. His father had been abusive to him and his mother. Was that the real reason he kept coming back? Why he was so single minded; why he chose me? Was it more to do with his own past? Perhaps unresolved feelings drove him. Seeing his mother being hurt had to have been traumatic for a child. Add in his own abuse—
&nb
sp; I stood and strode from his office. I needed to move, to get out of my own head, away from the swirling thoughts in my mind.
As I ran down the hallway, I felt the walls closing in.
Had he ever stopped seeing me as that broken little bird? Could he? Or was that the attraction in the first place?
Someone to save.
Tomas
I strode from my room and headed back downstairs. Stephanie wasn’t up there and she wasn’t in the kitchen or my office. There was one place left to check, and if she wasn’t there I was going to fucking lose my mind and tear this city apart.
I was flat-out running by the time I reached the gym and nearly collapsed against the door when I heard the music pumping through it.
She was inside. She was dancing. Thank fuck.
After seeing Ryan outside, after trying to hunt the fucker down all day, I was out of patience. She was safe here. I’d made this place near impenetrable, but Ryan wasn’t going away. He was getting careless. He was obsessed with Stephanie, with my angel, which meant he was capable of anything.
I shoved the door open, desperate to see her, and halted in my tracks. I’d seen her lose herself on stage at Stilettos and here in this room, but this was something different, something much more. She didn’t even glance up when I walked in, like she always did, like she could sense me whenever I was near.
No, right now she wasn’t even in this room, she was so deep in her own head. Christ, her eyes were blank…when she wasn’t squeezing them shut.
Fuck that. I couldn’t watch her suffer. Whatever this was, I couldn’t leave her in pain. Never again.
I moved up to her, and fuck me, she didn’t even look at me when I was a foot away. She was so far gone she jumped when I reached out and touched her. She spun to face me, hand to her pounding chest.
What the fuck?
When I reached for her, she shook her head and tried to move out of reach. “I…I need to keep dancing.”
She’d lost her mind if she thought I’d walk away now. I closed the distance between us and took her shoulders in my hands. “Talk to me, Stephanie.”
Glorious Sinner (Lawless Kings, #4.5) Page 11