Tears began to freely flow down her cheeks. “I was there in the hospital room when Gwyneth was born. It was the most beautiful moment in my whole life. I was so happy for Laura because she was so happy.” She paused and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. “I went on to pursue music full time, but you know how it is on the road. I wasted a lot of years partying and didn’t save any money. I never went to school or had any other ambitions besides singing. She kept telling me she believed in me, even though she was worried when I was on the road. My sister was always there for me, even when she went through those horrific months with Donny. When all that shit went down with him, I had an opportunity to help her. To pay her back in some way. I finally felt like I had a purpose, you know? I felt like I was finally doing something worthwhile in my life.”
A grimace crossed her face as she shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Sam wanted to reach out and touch her but remained still, waiting for her to finish.
“I’m a good aunt but I have no idea how to be a good mother.” She turned to him with tears glistening on her cheeks. “How am I going to be a mother to that little girl, Sam? All I know how to do is party and sing…” Her entire face fell as she broke down, bringing her hands up to hide her eyes.
Sam didn’t know what to say. As tears stung the corners of his eyes, he quickly pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently, stroking the back of her hair. Casey wept openly, her pent-up stress coming out in deep, deep sobs. John Dukes was correct. It was going to be a long, hard road, and he had no idea how they were going to navigate it. One thing was for sure – the steady, determined rhythm of his beating heart, and the love song they shared ringing loudly in his ears.
When Casey’s cries quieted, he gathered her into his arms and carefully carried her upstairs to the master bedroom, setting her gingerly on the mattress.
“Can you just help me to the bathroom? I need to get ready for bed.”
“Sure darlin’.” He helped her back up and she leaned heavily onto his shoulder. Standing in front of the sink, she eyed her reflection in the mirror.
“You need some help washing your face or dressing?” he asked hesitantly.
“It’s my ankle that’s injured, Sam. Both of my hands still work.”
Sam raised his eyebrows, surprised by her sarcasm. He was only trying to help, but he knew she was in a fragile state and let the comment slide.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Feeling dejected, he shut the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bed. As he pulled off his boots, he could hear the sound of water running – and the unmistakable muffled resonance of Casey sobbing again. Exhaling a long breath, he pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, throwing it roughly across the room. His heart ached listening to her sorrow, and he knew this was only the beginning. Several minutes passed before the door opened.
“Can you help me to the bed?” Casey asked, eyes red and puffy from crying.
Sam quickly got up and helped her across the room to the bedside. He grabbed several pillows from the window seat and propped her boot up before covering her with a blanket. When he bent over to kiss her mouth, she turned her head away, his lips grazing her cheek instead. He recalled John’s wise words in that moment about being patient.
“Good night, Casey,” he whispered in her ear. Sliding into the bed on his side, he turned off the lamp. He wanted to hold her in his arms and comfort her, but she was so distant. It was probably best if they just slept and started over in the morning.
Sam lay there thinking about all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, unsure of what the outcome looked like. What if Casey didn’t want to be with him after all? Had he mistaken her feelings for him? And what about Gwyneth? She needed stability in her young life, especially now. He knew he could give that to her…if Casey would give him the chance.
His head ached and his mind swirled with chaos. Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine them back at Strawberry Fields during a much happier time, the candles flickering and the acoustic guitar strumming. He couldn’t help but smile inwardly at the memory, the stress of the past day melting away as he finally relaxed. Before the orange glow of the Hunter’s Moon finished rising above the roof lines of the barn, Sam succumbed to sleep, the relaxed palm of his hand open and ready by Casey’s side.
He slept like a rock until about five-thirty in the morning. Not wanting to wake Casey with his fidgeting, he decided to get up and have some quiet time before the new day started. Seated at the kitchen table, he sipped on his second cup of coffee and was surprised when Bleu came trotting in with Gwyneth trailing behind. She was carrying her favorite teddy bear and sucking her thumb.
“Good morning sweetheart. You’re up early.”
Obviously not fully awake, she sleepily shuffled toward him as Sam patted his knee. When he picked her up, she snuggled into his warm chest. With his free hand, he pushed the curtains back and pointed at the sky.
“The sun is waking up too. See it coming up over the barn? Everyone is waking up.” She continued to lay her head on his chest, not saying a word. Holding her in his arms in the quiet of the house, he was perfectly content. Bleu sat impatiently at their feet and moaned making Sam chuckle.
“I think Bleu is hungry. You want to feed him his breakfast?” he whispered into her ear. GG raised her eyebrows in a slight smile and sat up, alert, placing her teddy bear on the table. He set her down on the floor and showed her where the plastic bin of dog food was in the walk-in pantry. She was very careful with the giant scooper and poured the food into a silver dish on the floor, a few pieces scattering, which Bleu inhaled like a vacuum. Next, Sam lifted her to the sink so she could fill Bleu’s water bowl with fresh water. Even though Sam told her to go slow and be careful, she still managed to get the entire front of her nightgown wet, giggling the whole time. As they sat at the kitchen table eating their own breakfast of cereal and cut up bananas, GG surprised Sam with a question as milk dribbled down her chin.
“Is my mama coming to get me today?”
The cereal in Sam’s mouth suddenly felt like shards of glass. It hurt him to swallow, and he took a moment before answering her.
“Umm… well, I’m not sure GG. Let’s wait for Cee-Cee to get up and we’ll find out what the plan is, okay?”
“Okay,” she happily continued to eat.
“As a matter of fact, I’m going to go check on your aunt real quick while you finish up.” He quickly got up and as he came around the corner to the staircase, he nearly collided with Casey. “Hey!” he exclaimed placing his hands on her hips as if to steady her.
“Good morning,” she mumbled, her facial expression tired and sad.
“How did you manage those stairs?”
“I sat on my ass and went down them one at a time,” she replied matter-of-factly.
Sam started to smile at her gumption, but when she showed no emotion, he shook it off and pulled her arm across his shoulder to help her to the kitchen table.
“Cee-Cee!” Gwyneth yelled exuberantly making Bleu bark.
“Good morning. You’re up early.”
Without asking, Sam poured her a cup of coffee and placed it and the bottle of creamer on the table in front of her. She glanced at him and he thought he saw the hint of a smile cross her lips.
Gwyneth started chattering ninety miles an hour about the sun waking up and feeding Bleu his breakfast. Casey nodded and stirred her coffee as if trying to take it all in. GG became animated in her story telling and stood on the kitchen chair. When she accidently bumped her bowl of cereal, milk spilled all over the table, some of it dripping near her small feet.
“GG, be careful!” Casey admonished.
Before Sam could tell her to sit down, it was too late. Her little foot slipped in the spill and she fell sideways off the chair crashing into Bleu who was lapping up the milk puddle. The big dog yelped and scurried under the table as GG’s hands and knees landed with a thwack on the wooden floor. She immediately began to cry. Sam rushe
d to her, and picked her up. Embarrassed, she held her little hands out to Casey who welcomed her into her lap while shushing her as if letting her know the fall wasn’t fatal.
This was the first time Sam had ever heard GG cry. He was taken aback at how high her pitch was and thought humorously she would probably be a soprano one day when she grew up.
Casey wiped her niece’s tears with a napkin rocking her like a baby.
“I want my mama,” GG sobbed, in-between sucks on her thumb.
Casey glanced at Sam with a look of horror on her face holding the little girl close to her chest.
“She’s not here right now…,” she stuttered.
“Is Bleu okay? Did I hurt him?” she asked in between breaths.
Sam knelt by the table. “Bleu, come on boy.” The big dog came out from under the table with his tail wagging. “He’s fine GG. See? He was like a big, fluffy pillow when you fell off the chair. Bleu’s a good boy.” He ruffed up the fur on the dog’s neck.
“Are you okay?” Casey whispered into her ear. She nodded.
Sam started to wipe up the spilled milk and cereal remains, handing Casey a damp paper towel so she could wipe GG’s face. As the domestic scene played out, Sam couldn’t help but notice on the outside, he and Casey looked like the parents of an adorable little girl during a breakfast mishap. But they weren’t her parents. Sam was not her father. This reality suddenly struck him to his core making him stop in his tracks.
“I’m going to go get dressed,” he announced, tumbling the breakfast dishes into the sink with a clatter. He needed to get out of there before he completely lost it. This was the first time he felt like he might be getting in way over his head. He realized he wanted to be GG’s father, which caught him off guard. He could totally see himself married to Casey and raising the little girl as if she were his own flesh and blood. His love for Casey was real, and he knew they were good for each other. The uncertainty of their relationship after everything that had happened was too much to think about, and his impulse was to flee so he could think long and hard about their situation.
It was still very early in the morning and he still had time to go to work if he wanted to. Maybe that was a good idea—go to work. Casey seemed independent enough, already navigating the stairs on her first day back from the hospital and GG could help her if she wanted anything. They needed time alone so Casey could tell her the news. There was so much to do including a phone call to Beth who had told him she’d be waiting for their call to help with the funeral arrangements. Sam needed to figure out how they were going to move Casey out of the apartment that was still probably a horrific crime scene. The to-do list grew longer as he tried to process his emotions thinking about each agonizing task ahead of them. He decided the best thing for him in that moment was to take a hot shower.
Chapter Twenty-One
“You’re leaving me,” Casey whispered as she sat on the edge of the king-sized bed. Sam was startled when he came out of the bathroom to see her in the room.
“Where is Gwyneth?” he asked, fumbling in his dresser drawer for some socks.
“She’s brushing her teeth and picking out her clothes for the day,” she replied. “Sam, please don’t leave me today.” Her voice was tinged with distress.
Sighing, he sat on the window seat across from her and started to pull on his socks. “I won’t be gone all day. I’ll come back around lunch time. Maybe by then you’ll have had that talk with GG and maybe you can touch base with Beth about making some plans for the funeral…” He looked up and noticed the deflated look on Casey’s face, her long hair hanging lifeless over one shoulder. It tore him up to see her like this.
“Hey.” Sitting next to her, he put his arm over her shoulders, giving her a side hug. “You can do this. You’re a strong woman and you know it’s the right thing to do.” He kissed her head and leaned lower to look her right in the eye. “I promise, I’ll be back by lunchtime. Do you believe me?”
Casey nodded slowly. Sam picked up his wallet off the dresser, shoved it in his pocket, and started to leave. “I’ll see you soon.”
Before he changed his mind, he quickly jogged down the stairs, grabbed his truck keys off the counter, and shrugged on his jacket. It felt cruel to leave Casey home alone with GG, but he knew she needed some tough love to get through these next crucial steps. He would do everything for her in a heartbeat, but he knew there were some things she needed to do on her own.
Revving the truck engine to get it to warm up, his breath made a cloud as he exhaled in the cold interior. It was undoubtedly going to be a long morning.
***
John Dukes trudged along the hard ground squinting in the bright sunlight. The frosty morning was long gone, leaving behind a perfect autumn day. He was anxious to check in on Sam and his girlfriend, his ulterior motive bringing GG a carved, wooden horse he’d found in one of his storage closets. He thought the small gift might cheer the little girl up, especially after hearing the news about her mother.
When he neared the Wildner farm, Bleu barked and galloped like a gazelle to greet him. John patted the big dog aggressively, chuckling at his puppy enthusiasm. When he rounded the corner of the house, he was startled to see GG sitting on the back-porch steps talking to her teddy bear. She wasn’t dressed properly for this kind of weather, wearing only a thin t-shirt and blue jeans and he was shocked she had no shoes or socks on her tiny feet. Her face lit up at the sight of him.
“Hi John,” she said happily.
“Well, hey yourself. Now, what are you doing out here in the cold air with no shoes or socks on your feet, huh? You’re gonna catch a whopper of a cold if you aren’t careful.” Picking her up, he propped her sturdily on his large hip. She giggled and playfully yanked on his beard, her tiny hands feeling like ice against his skin.
“Youch!” he whined humorously, making her laugh out loud. “Where’s Sam and Casey?”
GG was silent for a moment before she replied. “I don’t know.”
John’s brow creased, perplexed. “You don’t know? Well, let’s go on in and find out what they’re up to.” He swung open the ancient screen door allowing Bleu to enter first, letting it close behind them with a slap. There were remnants of breakfast dishes in the sink, and a large pile of dog food cascading over the sides of Bleu’s dish, a trail of kibble leading into the pantry. John laughed. “You been feeding Bleu?” he asked.
GG nodded. “I think he’s full now.”
John laughed again. “I think you might be right.” He set her down on the floor. “Why don’t you run upstairs and get you some socks to put on your feet.”
She looked up at him and shook her head. “No. I’m not supposed to go upstairs. Cee-Cee told me not to. She said I need to stay in the kitchen and play with Bleu.”
John couldn’t fathom why Casey would ban Gwyneth to the kitchen. Her small voice interrupted his thoughts.
“I’m hungry,” she whined.
Picking her up, he sat her on a kitchen chair. “Let me get you something to eat right quick, then I’ll go talk to your auntie.” He made her a honey-butter sandwich and found a bowl of grapes in the fridge he set before her. He cleaned up the dog food and remaining dishes, making sure GG was preoccupied with her lunch before he headed upstairs.
“I’ll be right back. You stay put, ya hear?”
“Okay,” she replied with a mouthful of sandwich.
John’s boots made a stomping sound on the wooden stairs as he ambled up to the second floor. It was eerily quiet, and the door to the master bedroom was shut. He wondered for a moment if Sam and Casey had selfishly secluded themselves to enjoy a little hanky-panky, but quickly dismissed the idea knowing Sam was more responsible than that. He tapped on the door gently.
“Sam? Casey? Are y’all in there?”
There was no answer. Gripping the antique doorknob, he turned it slowly, peeking through a crack in the door. There was no sign of anyone. He opened the door wide and stepped inside, scratching his head. As
he was about to leave, he heard a small moan which sounded like it was coming from under the bed. When he looked around the side of the mattress, he saw Casey crumpled on the rug passed out with an empty bottle of liquor by her side.
“Shit…,” John uttered under his breath. She wore nothing but pink panties and a t-shirt, which made him blush. The black boot was off and he could see the purple and black bruises on her ankle from where she’d landed in the fall. Pulling a blanket off the mattress, he covered her before he sat on the edge of the bed contemplating his next move.
Casey was a sad sight to behold. John figured Sam must have gone to work after all because there was no way he would’ve left her in this state. His heart was heavy and he felt incredibly sorry for GG who’d been all by herself for God knows how long.
John stood with his hands on his hips and continued to look down at Casey. With a heavy sigh, he decided to make his way downstairs to get to a phone so he could call Sam. He wasn’t going to like this one bit.
***
“Are you kidding me?” Sam roughly whispered into the phone. He listened intently while John explained what he’d stumbled upon at his farm. It was a little after noon and he’d just finished the last of his morning classes, about to head home. Arrangements were made for a sub to come in to take over his afternoon classes and supervise the after-school marching band rehearsal. Sam pinched his nose in between his eyes trying not to come undone. The thought of GG sitting outside alone with no shoes or socks on rocked him to his core. He should have been more responsible. Before he left, he should have made arrangements for someone like John to come over and keep them company, especially Casey, who was obviously not in her right mind.
Love Song: A friends-to-lovers rock & roll romantic suspense Page 15