by Lauren Wood
I asked her if she was ready and she agreed, so we went next door to get my truck. It seemed super convenient to me that she was staying next door. If I didn't know any better, I might have even thought that it was fated.
I might have been even more inclined to think it was fate, when I accelerated a bit too fast and she giggled instead of grabbing the front dashboard and squealing. That's what most girls did. They didn't like to go fast, and I usually had to drive very slow for them. Betty wasn't that way at all. She got a glistening brightness to her eyes and she had the biggest smile on her face. If I didn't know any better, I’d say that she liked going fast more than I did. I really like the idea of that.
Because we were both enjoying the speed, I hit the gas a little harder and we drove some of the winding roads that I loved so much.
“I didn't know trucks could go this fast.”
“Do you want me to slow down?”
She shook her head. “No, but we're not going to get in trouble or get arrested, are we? I can’t have that happen.”
That made me chuckle. She was apparently not worried about going down in a fiery crash, or she trusted me. But the police seemed to bother her quite a bit. I assured her that nobody came down the roads, so we really didn’t have anything to worry about.
“These are the roads I take when I need to go a little faster than usual. It's a good way to stay out of trouble. The cops will look the other way, most of the time anyways. You just have to know how to talk to them.”
She agreed, though she asked me what it was I was thinking about that made me have to go so fast.
Immediately, my dad came to mind. He was the bane of my existence and the reason that everything went so sideways. At least that's what I told myself. Maybe it wasn't him at all, maybe it was me. None of that was a conversation that I wanted to have with anyone else, not even Betty.
“Nothing much, just stuff.”
“Cute and mysterious, huh?”
I looked over at her soft expression and grinned. I was working on her already. She was going to want me at some point.
“You think I'm cute?”
Betty waved me off like I was saying something funny.
“Don't even act like you have a modicum of humility. I see the way you walk around with your swagger. I bet that every girl in Laurel wants a piece of you. Probably already had a taste, most of the cute ones.”
I had to agree. She could see exactly how it was, and even though I had never minded that assessment before, for some reason, hearing it come out of Betty's mouth, was not as good sounding as it was before. Before, there would have been a surge of pride to hear something like that, but now I wished that it was different.
“Probably every girl in Billings as well.”
“Oh, my, we really do think highly of ourselves. Are all the guys here like you?”
I shook my head and told her that nobody was like me. And then I told her I had a feeling that nobody was like her as well. It wasn't hard for me to see that Betty was definitely unlike anyone I ever met before.
I went a little faster and instead of being scared or worried, she just kind of got a little closer and leaned against my shoulder. It wasn't enough to make it hard to shift, but it was enough to make me feel something inside. A tiny spark so deep, in the place so dark, that I didn't even know it existed. Who was this girl?
I found myself asking that question several times that day.
11
Betty
One of the many things about me that people probably didn't know was I had a problem with driving too fast. It wasn't like I like to go seventy-five or eighty on the Interstate, or anything like that. I wanted to go ahead and push the car to one hundred and twenty, to really feel alive. I’d actually gotten so many tickets that my license had been suspended twice before and since California worked on a point system, it had taken me awhile to get it down where I could drive again.
That's what I thought about driving next to Nick, as he took the corners a little too fast. It made me happy inside, because it had been too long since I had taken a trip like this. It made my heart race a little faster, excited me. Everything about it made me feel better in my own skin. Sharing it with somebody else, even though Nick was a complete stranger really, made it even better somehow. It wasn't enough that I got to go fast, but I got to go fast with a really hot guy, in a really hot truck.
When he finally stopped, I couldn't tell for the life of me where we were. We had long passed up the city and kept going in another direction. I wasn't even sure if we were in the same state anymore. Everything looked the same out here.
“What did you think of that?”
Nick turned to me with this goofy grin on his face, and the next thing I know, I'm kissing him. I took the sides of his face in my hands and pulled him in towards me. We were already close, because of how I was sitting, and I liked the feel of his hot body against mine. His tongue danced in my mouth, and I heard a soft moaning sound escape my lips.
Nick heard it as well and made a growling sound before he pulled me on his lap. It hadn't been much, just a few inches, but it made everything so much more real. It also freaked me out as well.
I pulled my lips away and slid back off of him. The last thing I needed to be doing was climbing around on Nick. He was showing signs of desire that I didn’t know how to deal with. I could feel the extra desire that he had for me. It was quite obviously pressed up against me.
My retreat was quick because I knew I was in a situation that I needed to get out of. He had that look and I was not interested in that. Well, I was interested in it, but that did not mean I was going to be able to follow through. I was only going so far, and I didn't want to have to explain that to anyone.
He of course tried to get me back on his lap because he was thinking about only one thing. That wasn't unusual for men, of course, but I usually didn't care. This time I did for some reason.
“Where are you going? We were just getting to a good part.”
I asked him what we were doing here. I was really trying to get his attention off of me and the kiss we just shared. I knew that it was only going to make things more complicated.
“There is a lookout point not too far from here that I thought you might appreciate. We have to walk the rest of the way, though.”
I was out of the seat and out the door quite quickly. I knew that getting a little bit of space would be for the best. The cabin of the truck was becoming increasingly small.
Hoping that he didn't notice, I asked him about the hike and other things. I was really just babbling if I was honest with myself. I did not want to think about what had happened in the truck. What I still wanted to do with him.
“I didn't do anything wrong today, did I?”
I looked at him a little puzzled because I didn’t know why he would think that. “Wrong? No, why?”
He shrugged. “I don't know, your whole vibe changed pretty quickly and that usually means that I said something I wasn't supposed to.”
“Probably the fact that you aren’t getting the usual response to all that should tell you something. I don't do this sort of thing. Like ever. With anyone.”
“What do you mean?”
I didn't want to get into it, so I just kind of shrugged. It was a good enough of an answer. He didn't need to know everything.
“I just met you. I don't really work that fast.”
“Come on, Betty. Don't do me that way. It's quite clear that we both have the same attraction for each other. There's no sense in prolonging the inevitable.”
We went from a great moment to something else. He was kind of freaking me out, and I had to get a little firmer when he wanted to kiss me again.
“When I say that I don't do this sort of thing, I really don't. Kissing is about as far as it goes with me.”
He had this strange look on his face and because of it, I really didn't want to go any further with the answer. Wasn't that enough? I just wasn't that way, which I k
new was hard for some people to imagine. I was quite old to have that sort of thinking, but I couldn't help it. It's just the way it was.
There was this moment, where understanding came over his face and I think it all hit him at once. It wasn't like it was the first time I had to tell somebody this and they all reacted about the same way. It was disbelief. Some men got mad and other men wanted to see me as a challenge. Either way, it didn't do me any good, because I didn't want to be either one of those things.
Finally, he just kind of shrugged and told me that there was no rush.
“No rush, huh?” I eyed the hard length that was protruding out from underneath the jean fabric of his pants. It felt like he was in a rush.
“What do you mean, no rush?”
“There is a reason that we met, Betty, I have to believe that. I know that you don't believe it yet, but I do wholeheartedly. If it takes some more time, that’s okay. I will wait as long as I need to.”
I smiled at him and agreed. I don't know if I really believed it or not, but it sounded good in theory. I was just happy that he wasn't going to act weird now because of what I told him. It wouldn't be the first time that a guy that I was interested in was suddenly not interested in me, because I didn't want to give him what he thought he needed right away. No other man had told me that I was worth waiting for, and I think I melted a little bit with his words.
We walked for a time up to the vantage point. The place was beautiful to look at and the company was even better. It was the first time that I had told somebody my secret, and I didn't feel completely weirded out by it. That was something to be said right there.
Who would have known that I would feel so at home in Montana? I never thought it was possible.
12
Nick
When Betty told me that kissing was as far as she went, I thought she was joking. I mean seriously, I really did. I thought that she was going to be one of those girls that liked to pretend that they were so innocent when really, they would get down on their knees in seconds if asked. It took a little bit of time for me to realize that she was not that kind of girl. When she said that she didn't do that kind of thing, I believed that she really didn't.
That left me in a strange position, though. It was a position that I had never been in before. Most of the women that I found myself with, used sex as a sport much like I did. I had never been around someone who saw it as something else far more important.
It was a little quiet on the way up to the summit. Partially it was my fault, because I didn't know what the hell to say to her. The whole time I have been dreaming about what I would do to her body and now that wasn't even an option.
It saddened me a little bit almost immediately, but then I thought about it differently and decided that maybe it was the best thing that could happen. I already felt like she was so different, so it made sense that we would do things differently as well.
By the time we got to the summit, I was looking at it as a gift, instead of a curse. It might be a little tough, but I was for sure that it would be worth it in the end. She would be worth it. Betty was damn sure worth the wait.
“So, can I ask you a question?”
She agreed and I could tell that she was bracing herself for something that she wasn’t going to like. Most likely she knew what I was going to ask. It was of course the only thing on my mind at the moment.
“Of course. What did you want to know?”
“Do you mind if I ask you why you haven't, you know, went further with a man?”
She looked at me a little funny, and then Betty told me that it just had never been the right time.
“I guess I wanted the first time to be magical. I know that sounds silly in this world that doesn't even take it seriously anymore, but I think it would mean more if I actually cared about the person. So, that hasn't happened yet, and so I have not done it.”
She made it sound so easy, but I could only imagine the temptation that she had through the years. She was beautiful. However, how was any man about to date her for too long, without putting their hands on her? How was that even possible? They're obviously stronger men than I was.
She was extremely embarrassed from the question and her answer, so I didn't ask anymore. I wanted to, really badly. I wanted to know the who, when, where, why. I wanted to know it all, but it was just going to have to be something that I found out later.
“That was probably very hard to tell me. I'm glad that you did. It helps me to get to know you better.”
Betty gave me a skeptical look. “Yeah, I'm sure that's how you're feeling right now, excited that I told you.”
She was full of cynicism and told me she didn't believe anything I said. She was right, how could I be excited about this? The last thing I wanted was for me to want a woman that wasn’t even ready for what I had to offer. It was going to make everything more complicated, and I was going to have blue balls a whole lot more. I wasn’t looking forward to either one of those things.
I wasn't going to say that, though. Instead I told her that it was just different. I didn't know very many people that wanted to wait.
“It's weird, I know.”
“I wouldn't say that it's weird, just different.”
She just kind of sighed. “I think you’ve said different like five times. Trust me, I know it's weird. I have gotten a lot of grief from it, if you can believe it.”
I bet she had. I bet that a lot of men that found that out about her were done. I don't know if there was an exact reason why I felt any differently about it. But I did, I felt like she was going to be worth it. Whether I would feel that way about it being told to me from someone else, I am not sure.
What I was sure of, though, was how beautiful she was standing in the sun. She had an ethereal glow about her and maybe it was because of what I knew about her, but it felt like it was just another sign. Everything that had worked before was not going to work this time. This time, I was going to have to figure out another way to convince her of how best to go forward.
“I don't think it's weird, I think it is brave. I'm sure that you've gotten a lot of flak for your decision, but I'm glad that you haven't changed it. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right one.”
She had this grin and then she asked me if that's what I had done.
“No, complete coward here. I can't say that I have waited. But what I will say is, there's a good side to it, too. It feels really good.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“It’s also a good thing for you, too.”
She shook her head like she didn’t believe me.
“And how is that?”
I leaned a little closer and gave her a kiss.
“Because when you finally decide that you're ready, I will know quite well how to make you feel good. I am going to make you come so hard, you’ll wonder why you waited so long.”
I saw her shiver and that was as good of an answer as I was going to get. Maybe this between us didn't have to be complicated. I liked to think not anyway.
All of a sudden, I was an optimist.
13
Betty
I was so nervous to tell any man about my choices. They took it a lot of different ways, but never had one of them taken it as well as Nick had. He had been the one that had made me want to say something different. That was probably the strangest part of it all. Somehow, Nick had changed everything for me, and he’d done it in a matter of days.
He took me back to my place and didn't linger around too long. Nick said he had something to do and I was honestly grateful for that. Even though he did everything so well, I was still trying to figure out how I felt about it all.
Before he left, he asked me if I wanted to meet up later and go on some sort of date. The answer was of course. He was fun to be around and I probably enjoyed myself a bit too much. When I agreed, he broke out in the biggest smile and told me that he would pick me up later that evening. He had a gig to play at another local club, and si
nce I really did like his music, it sounded like the perfect evening. I was going to be a rock star’s groupie for the night. Or, sorta…
I was on cloud nine when I got in the house. It didn't last very long, though. My mother was there waiting for me, wanting to know where I had been.
“I just went out with one of the locals. You told me that I needed to meet new people, so that's exactly what I'm doing.”
“Does this new person that you met have a name?”
I told her that his name was Nick, but I couldn't tell her what his last name was. I hadn't even asked, because it hadn't even occurred to me. I told Nick one of my deep dark secrets, was vulnerable in a way that I hadn't been before, and somehow I had missed the opportunity to ask what his real name was.
“How do you know if he is the right kind of person?”
“What?”
“You don't even know his name, you don't know his family, how can you assume that he is a good person?”
Mom wasn't worried about him being a good person. She was worried about what sort of family he came from and then it wasn't even that. It was all about the money. Mom was convinced that I had to find someone rich, so that I could have all of these choices that I wouldn't have without it. I don't know if I actually believed the way that she did; however, I knew that it mattered to her. This was more about her than it was about me.
“They live next door, so I would imagine that they make enough money, Mom.”
She got a little embarrassed and then defensive, telling me that she was just looking out for me.
“Of course, you are. I didn’t think anything else.”
“You don't have to get so flippy with me. You think that everything is about love, but love can’t feed you. You have never wanted for anything, Betty, so you don’t get it. Money matters, whether you want to pretend it does or not, it does.”